Of Playgrounds and Parenthood
by leighB26
Summary: Aria and Ezra spent the first 18 years of their lives attached at the hip. They spent the next 8 years avoiding each other at all costs. But when a turn of events brings the two former friends under the same roof, they're forced to face a past that they tried to keep buried. Will they be able to rekindle what they once had? Will stronger feelings arise? Or is all hope lost? AU
1. Chapter 1

_1997_

Aria Montgomery could see for miles from the tiny square window in her treehouse. Or at least, it felt like she could. Being 7-years-old and standing only 42 inches tall, seeing anything out of her usual range of sight was like seeing the entirety of America laid out before her. But in reality, all Aria could see from the window was her next door neighbor's backyard and sometimes that heads of the family that lived two doors down bobbing up and down along their fence line.

It wasn't a very interesting sight, but neither was anything else in Rosewood, Pennsylvania. The quaint and polished town that seemed to be appealing to every adult was quite the snooze fest for the children of the suburb. All of the houses looked the same, all of the grass was cut to the same height, all of the buildings were bare on the outside save a couple of signs taped to windows here and there. Before second grade, Aria described the town as gray and boring. Now, as a graduate of Mrs. Barnes second grade class, Aria described the town as gray, boring, and _monotone._ She'd read that word in one of the books she had to read for a report. Mrs. Barnes told her what it meant, said that a word like that was usually not added to a kid's vocabulary until they were ten or eleven, and then proceeded to make Aria 'student of the week' for her rapidly expanding vocabulary.

Being the reader and lover of words that Aria was, she clung to the word that made her classroom famous like a security blanket. She worked it into her compositions, used it in her daily conversations, and even made a list called "Ways to Make Summer in Rosewood a Whole Lot Less Monotone" and tacked it to the wall of her treehouse, right next to the window. She was determined to replace the word monotone with a livelier, more interesting adjective by the time summer came to an end. And that mission started now.

Aria sat cross-legged in the middle of the wooden box held up by two Oak branches, staring at the list, sipping on a juice box, and trying to commit every word to memory. _Ride our bikes to the Rosewood Lookout at sunset WITHOUT our parents. Decorate the inside of the treehouse completely. Form a secret society with a handshake and everything. Avoid playing the Mike as much as possible (he's just too little and annoying). Make the world's best driveway mural with sidewalk chalk. Run a successful lemonade stand. Create a dog walking service. Learn how to do flips off the diving board. Learn a new word every day._

A thin layer of sweat was beginning to form on her forehead, a result of the sweltering heat that inevitably came along with the month of June. Pieces of her chestnut brown hair were sticking to her neck, despite the fact that she'd tied most of it up with her favorite pink scrunchie. Every once in awhile a breeze would blow through the window and cool her off for a brief moment, but the minute it stopped, she was back to suffering, each time a little worse than the last. Aria knew that the only thing that would take her mind off of the heat was her best friend, and partner in crime as her parents called him, Ezra Fitz. He was supposed to come over right after school, but as usual he was late.

Just as Aria was about to descend down the steps of the treehouse to begin her manhunt for her friend, she heard the back door open and the goofy sound of Ezra's voice thanking her mother for a juice box.

"Hey Aria, catch!" Ezra called out from the ground, looking up through the hole in the treehouse floor that served as a door and waving his juice box in his hand.

Aria held out her hands and waited for the plastic container to fly up and into her hands. When it landed safely in her palms, she smiled, "Got it! Now, get up here so summer can officially begin."

There were a few seconds of silence before Ezra's head appeared through the hole and he flashed his missing-teeth smile, "I think summer started the minute we got off the bus this afternoon."

"Hush," Aria rolled her eyes. The words 'shut up' were a big no-no at her house, although that's what she really wanted to say in response to Ezra's smart-alec comment. "We've got a lot of things to plan and this is no time for your sass."

Ezra laughed, pulling the rest of his body into the space and taking a seat across from Aria on the floor. "You're bossy."

"Am not," Aria frowned.

"Are too," Ezra argued playfully.

"Well if I'm so bossy, why are you my friend?" Aria huffed, asking the question as if she didn't already know the answer.

They were destined to be best friends before they were even born. Aria's mom, Ella, and Ezra's mom, Diane, were sorority sisters that happened to become next door neighbors. When they found out they were pregnant at about the same time, they saw to it that their children would grow up attached at the hip, and so far, they had. Their play dates started just days after Ezra was brought home from the hospital. A then three-month old Aria took to her new friend like a fish to water. He was someone to look at that looked like her. He was someone to "accidentally" hit with her rattle. He was someone that understood her baby talk. As she grew older, Ezra continued to be Aria's "someone". He was someone to play with at boring family dinners at nice restaurants. He was someone to wait at the bus stop with. He was someone to go on adventures with. And for Ezra, Aria was his "someone" too.

"Your mom pays me," Ezra repeated the line he'd heard his father jokingly use during playful fights with his mother.

Aria stuck out her tongue, "Very funny."

"Aren't I?" Ezra beamed.

" _Anyways,"_ Aria exaggerated her word to show her urge to move on to the next topic. "I've made a list." She gestured behind him to the slightly worn piece of paper on the wall. Ezra turned. "It's all the things I want us to do this summer."

Ezra furrowed his brow, "What does monotone mean?"

"Without vividness or variety," Aria responded cheerfully. She loved teaching Ezra new things since he seemed to be the one always teaching her. He excelled in math and science, while she only had a knack for English. She constantly had to ask for help on their "algebra" homework, but was never asked for assistance on a reading assignment. It seemed like everything just clicked for Ezra, so when the opportunity to teach him something he didn't know presented itself, Aria seized it.

"Oh," Ezra nodded. "Well there's a lot of variety on that list."

"Thanks," Aria grinned. "What do you want to do first?"

Ezra pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, something Aria had learned meant that he was thinking hard about something. "How about we…form a secret society."

"Perfect," Aria said, secretly happy that she didn't have to argue on that activity's behalf since that was the one _she_ really wanted to do first.

"So what kind of secret society are you thinking?" Ezra pulled his knees up to his chest and wiped a bead of sweat from his nose with the back of his hand.

"I don't know," Aria shrugged. Despite formulating the idea months ago, Aria hadn't give much thought to what their society was be a society of. "Friendship?" She spitballed.

"Lame," Ezra shook his head. "Let's make it something cool. Something like a society of crime fighting superheroes."

Aria's lips curled into a snarl, "Ugh no. We're 7. We can't exactly do what the police here do."

Ezra scoffed, "My dad says the police in this town are s-h-i-t-t-y. Apparently they don't do anything useful for anyone." Aria's eyes widened at the word Ezra spelled out. Of all the words Aria wasn't allowed to use, that one had to be at the top. Well that one, the b word, and the f word, although Aria wasn't quite sure what that one was yet.

"My mom says that your dad is full of it," Aria parroted the words she'd heard her mother say on countless occasions after their families got together.

"Full of what?" Ezra cocked his head to the side.

"I don't know," Aria crossed her arms over her chest. "It, I guess."

"What else does your mom say about my dad?" Ezra asked curiously.

"Nothing," Aria shook her head. That was a lie, but of course, Aria wasn't going to tell Ezra that. Her mother was never particularly fond of his father. She called him pompous and abrasive, two words that Aria had to look up to understand. She said that Diane could do better than Michael, but never to her face. No, those judgmental words were reserved solely for Aria's father, Bryon's ears, when Ella thought that Aria was no longer paying attention. But unfortunately, Aria always was. She knew things she wished she didn't; things maybe Ezra didn't even know. For instance, Aria knew that his parents were on the brink of getting a divorce. Ezra was still deluding himself into thinking that their fights were harmless.

"Are you sure?" Ezra coaxed, his voice soft and weak. Maybe he did suspect something was going on after all.

"Would I lie to you?" Aria reached across and placed a small hand on Ezra's knee. The answer was yes. In fact, she just had. But she didn't lie to him often, so that was enough to solicit the opposite answer from him.

"I guess not," Ezra sighed. "I still think being crime fighters would be a cool society," He directed the conversation back on course. "We don't have to fight actual crime. Maybe we could just pretend to. We're pretty good at playing pretend."

They were. From pirates to 'teenagers', Aria and Ezra played it all, and they played it well.

A small smile formed on Aria's lips, "I have an idea. What if we formed the Secret Society of Elite Spies? We could fight pretend crime, but we could also go around and spy on people. We could dress up like ninjas and listen for danger around Rosewood."

"That sounds awesome!" Ezra nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I like that idea."

"Great," Aria stuck her nose in the air, proud that Ezra liked her idea enough to commit himself to its' society. "Now we need to take an oath." Aria pushed herself up from the floor, then motioned for Ezra to do that same.

"Why?" Ezra looked up at her quizzically.

Aria sighed. She thought that it was obvious. " _Because_ that's what you do in a secret society. You make promises that you have to keep in order to keep your spot in the club. So stand up, raise your right hand, and repeat after me."

Ezra stood up, shaking his head. "Why do you get to come up with the oath?"

"Because it was my idea," Aria rolled her shoulders back to appear more confident.

"We're kind of co-founders in this society. I say we _both_ make up the oath," Ezra pushed.

"Okay fine, whatever," Aria snapped. "Jump in when you have something to add." She lifted her right hand in the air. "Now, repeat after me. I, Aria Montgomery…but like, say your own name."

"I, Ezra Fitz," Ezra brought his hand level with Aria's.

"Vow to never, ever, ever tell anyone about the Secret Society of Elite Spies, unless we both agree that that person can know all of our classified secrets," Aria whispered and Ezra repeated. "I vow to only use my skills for good." _I vow to only use my skills for good._ "I vow to attend the weekly meetings of the society which will be…every Tuesday afternoon." He agreed. "I vow to never let Aria's little brother, Mike, join in on the action because he's a baby who should only play baby stuff."

"Harsh, Ar," Ezra laughed.

"Well, it's true. Now repeat it," Aria hissed. She had never been very fond of her little brother, but her distaste had intensified as of late. Mike was 5 now and wanted to be all up in her business. If Aria was in her room with her friends playing Barbie, Mike wanted to be there, even though he hated playing dolls. If Aria was in the treehouse with Ezra, Mike was usually sitting in the grass below, crying about how Aria wouldn't let him up. And if Aria went for a bike ride, Mike wanted to tag along, which always slowed her down since he still used training wheels. It was beyond annoying.

"I vow to never let Aria's little brother, Mike, join in on the action because he's a baby who should only play baby stuff," Ezra echoed. "Oh, I got one. Repeat after me this time. I vow to tell Aria…except you say Ezra…every secret that I learn on my spy missions so that we're always on the same page."

Aria did as she was told. "Okay, last one. Most importantly, I vow that this Secret Society of Elite Spies will keep us together forever. Once a member, always a member."

"Most importantly, I vow that this Secret Society of Elite Spies will keep us together forever," Ezra smiled. "One a member, always a member."

Aria dropped her hand, grinning form ear to ear, "Perfect. Now all we need is a handshake and this society will be official."

The two kids spent the rest of the afternoon making up handshakes, writing down their vows on sheets of notebook paper, coming up with passwords to enter the treehouse, which they were now calling their Super Secret Spy Headquarters…SSSH for short, and talking about how epic their summer was going to be. How could it be anything but? They were secret spies now with heads full of creativity and hearts set on having fun. Plus, they'd just made an oath that made them promise to be best friends forever. And as 7-year-olds with naïve interpretations of how the world worked, they thought their vows were eternally binding.

If only they knew that in just 10 short years, their worlds would be rocked in such a way that no friendship, no matter how strong, could survive. If only they knew that n just 10 short years, the two members of the Secret Society of Elite Spies, the two kids who spent their entire lives attached at the hip would go their separate ways with no intentions of meeting back up again. If only they knew what they would become, maybe they could've saved themselves the heartbreak of what was inevitable.

 **A/N: Thank you for reading the first chapter of Of Playground and Parenthood. If you're coming from my last story, Rumor Has it, welcome back. If you're completely new, hi! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I have a lot planned for this story, so I can say it's going to be quite the juicy ride. Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter in the reviews. I love, love, love reviews. They're so motivating, so please don't hold back. Tell me what you liked, what you didn't like, what you want to hopefully see in this story, whatever. I'm so excited to start this new story and I hope you guys are too.**

 **I want to say that this story will be jumping back and forth between the past and the present (their childhood and adulthood). So the next chapter will take place when Aria and Ezra are 26. I hope that's motivation to stick around for the next chapter!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

_2016_

For most people, the jingling sound made when they opened the door of The Brew meant they were one step closer to caffeine, and therefore one step closer to happiness. For 26-year-old Aria Montgomery, the jingling signified the start of a grueling 8 hour shift and served as a reminder of her lack of annual income.

As a teenager, Aria had loved coffee. She'd spent multiple hours of her life tucked away in the back corner of this homey café with a good book in one hand and a Frappuccino in the other. But as an adult, Aria had grown to resent it with everything in her. Spending her summers as a barista was not what Aria had planned on doing when she graduated from Hollis with her degree in elementary education, but apparently it is what _life_ had planned for her. Going the three months allotted for summer without a paycheck as detrimental in her situation. So, she picked up shifts at the coffee shop in order to keep food on the table and medication in the cabinet. But working around the liquid energy for three months straight as a disgruntled adult had the same effect on Aria that working at a McDonald's has on some teen trying to make gas money. Over time, the drinks began to make her stomach churn. She now only drank coffee when it was absolutely necessary. And today, it was necessary.

The door to The Brew was already unlocked by the time Aria arrived, despite the fact that the sun had yet to rear its head over the tree line. Just as she was every time she worked the opening shift, Aria was surprised to find customers already inside, anxiously awaiting their morning cup of Joe. Being a teacher and having gotten accustomed to getting an entire summer away from work, she sometimes forgot that most people had jobs that kept them working 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, save maybe Christmas and Thanksgiving.

"Morning Aria," Her boss, owner of The Brew, and long time friend, Emily Fields, greeted quickly before turning her attention back to the customer in front of her and telling him his total.

Aria didn't bother responding. Instead, she just flashed her friend the world's fakest and fastest smile before pushing through the door that led into the kitchen. Small talk was the last thing on her mind. Coffee, ironically, was the first. She'd slept a total of an hour and a half the night before. If she didn't get some caffeine in her soon, she'd surely collapse from exhaustion.

With a chewed fingernail, Aria turned on the Keurig to let it warm up before turning her back and retrieving her small maroon apron from a row of hooks on the wall. This was her fourth summer working for Emily at The Brew and she'd still yet to ask why they wore the aprons to begin with. It wasn't like they'd kept anything in them aside from maybe a desert that they'd sneak from the display tray whenever they got hungry. It wasn't that Aria was complaining about wearing them. They were really the only form of a 'uniform' they were required to wear. She was just curious.

As she tied the string around her waist, the Keurig hissed and gurgled, letting Aria know it was ready for her use. She grabbed a freshly washed cup from the sink and chose a flavor for the cartridge without giving it too much thought. It didn't matter what the coffee tasted like, it just needed to do its job.

She leaned against the counter with closed eyes as the machine drizzled her drink into the mug. That simple action was enough to make Aria begin to sway side to side as if she were already falling into a dream-like state. And a part of her wished that she were. Last night had been absolute hell. She needed a sweet dream to forget reality for a little while.

"Are you planning on paying for that?" The seemingly sudden sound of Emily's voice startled Aria.

Her eyes flew open and her face flushed. "I…uh…"

"I'm kidding," Emily rolled her eyes, the slightest hint of a smile ghosting her lips. "Rough night last night?"

"Very," Aria sighed, turning to pick up her cup. Her eyes lagged as she watched Emily move around the kitchen gathering ingredients for a French Press.

"Was it Sophie or something else?" Emily quizzed gently, causing Aria to give a tired smile. One of the things she loved about Emily was her ability to make you believe she genuinely cared about whatever you were going through even if she was doing something else while you talked. There was just something about her that told you that she was always listening.

"Uh, Sophie," Aria licked her lips. "Yeah, she was up all night last night, so of course, I was right there with her. Nothing was calming her down. I tried everything. Her treatments, Vicks vapor rub. We sat in the bathroom for like 45 minutes with the shower turned on just breathing in the steam. Nothing worked. I was about to take her to the ER when she finally settled down and fell asleep."

Since 2008, Aria had been learning to deal with all of the big curve balls that little Sophie Juliette Callahan had thrown at her. The small girl who was a mirror image of her mother, with the exception of her bright blue eyes that most definitely came from her father, made a grand entrance into the world 8 years ago and hadn't stopped causing commotion since. As if becoming a mother at 18 wasn't hard enough, not only did Aria have to learn how to care for another human being when she barely knew how to care for herself, but she had to learn how to care for another human being with a _medical condition_ when she barely knew how many Tylenols to take when she got a migraine. She loved that little girl more than anything, but there was no denying that she had made Aria's life a hell of a lot more difficult.

"Aria, why are you here?" Emily folded her arm over her chest and pivoted to stare directly at the girl she'd known for years. "Go home. Sophie's sick and needs you."

"She's fine," Aria waved a hand dismissively. Things like this happened all the time. Every time the weather shifted, Sophie's lungs would spasm like crazy. Although normally, Aria could get it under control within an hour or so. "She's with my mom who knows to call me if anything goes wrong. But it won't, because like I said, she's fine. It's just this weather. Those storms that rolled in last week have given her hell."

"Aria," Emily lowered her eyes.

"Seriously, Em," Aria shook her head. "She's fine. I'm doing a lot more for her by being here and earning extra money than I am sitting on the couch with her watching 'KC Undercover'."

Emily bit her lip and moved closer to Aria, her breathing becoming exaggerated as if she was unsure of what she was about to say. "I know you want to be home with her. If Matt were still…"

"He isn't, Emily," Aria cut her off, not wanting to get into the 'Matt' conversation for the millionth time. "He isn't here. And he won't ever be here, so please don't offer that up like some solution to the problem. Matt's not here. I am. I have to make money so that Sophie can eat and have her medicine so she can, you know, breathe." Aria didn't notice that her shoulders had practically crept up to her ears and her eyes had opened as wide as possible until she stopped talking. 5 years later and the subject of her late husband, Sophie's father, still set her nerves on edge. "I'm sorry," Aria whispered, trying to relax her posture again.

"No, I'm sorry," Emily put her hands up in faux-surrender. "I know that you don't like to talk about him. I shouldn't have mentioned it. You're right, he's not a solution to this problem."

Aria nodded. She cast her gaze on the cooling liquid in her cup before bringing the ceramic mug to her lips and taking a long, much-needed sip. Once she swallowed, she pointedly glanced to the French Press that sat ready on the counter opposite them. "I think someone's waiting on that."

"Right," Emily visibly bit the inside of her cheek before returning to the job she's started moments earlier and leaving Aria alone in the kitchen once again.

Line Break

When the clock struck 3 o'clock on a Monday afternoon, The Brew fell silent. Every Monday it was the same. The baristas knew that there'd be no tips, no jingling bells, and no coffee to brew for at least an hour if not longer. Every Monday, the little café looked to be closed for a short period of time and its workers took advantage of it.

Emily shut herself in her office to do God knows what. She said it was work related paper work, but Aria was pretty sure that paper work didn't involve incessant giggling and another voice being relayed over a speaker. If her hunch was correct, Emily definitely had a new girlfriend that she was keeping all to herself for the time being. Aria didn't want to pry, so she didn't ask. Instead she just speculated within the confines of her own brain and dropped little hints here and there that she'd overheard their conversations. Emily never seemed to pick up on them.

The other two girls who worked the day shift with Aria were still in high school and spent their "break" gossiping and Facetiming their boyfriends. It was all petty talk that Aria found stupid, until she realized that she'd been just like that when she was their age. All she cared about back then were boys, partying, and making it to graduation day. Maybe that's why she'd gotten knocked up her senior year . Her head was in the clouds instead of on the ground, focusing on what really mattered. In a lot of ways, Sophie had been her wake up call and she was extremely grateful for the reality check. But in other ways, Aria wished that those two teenage girls saw Aria as an example of what not to do. She'd told them her story…well the parts she wanted to say aloud…many times during these long breaks. They'd asked questions and nearly fainted at the answers. So Aria could only hope that they were taking her stories to heart and consciously trying not to end up like she had. Aria loved her daughter. But that didn't mean she loved her life. She wished she could give Sophie more. But being 18 when she had a kid hadn't allowed her to do that. At least not yet.

As for Aria, when she wasn't eavesdropping on her coworkers' lives during her downtime, she was usually curled up on the couch, sleeping, reading, or on the phone with Sophie after she'd had a particularly interesting day. Today, Aria was choosing to sleep.

About 30 minutes into her cat nap, the jingling of the bells pulled her awake. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing to her the image of her long time best friend, Spencer Hastings, walking directly towards her. Slowly, Aria sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Hey, Spence."

"Ezra Fitz is getting a divorce." No 'hi'. No 'how are you'. Just right to the point. If Aria could describe Spencer in one phrase, that would be it. Right to the point. Always. Maybe that was the lawyer side in her. Maybe it was just her personality. Either way, she never felt the need to dwindle on small talk. Whenever she spoke, she had something to say. Aria just wasn't expecting _that_ to come out of her mouth.

Aria furrowed her brow, unsure of how to react. Was she supposed to be sorry? Was she supposed to start spewing off questions about what happened, because honestly, she didn't care, so why pretend like she did? She hadn't said a word to that man in a little over 8 years. She avoided him like it was her job. So why one earth would she care that he was getting a divorce. She didn't even know his wife's name despite seeing the countless pictures he tagged her in on Facebook. "Good afternoon, Spencer," Aria decided to totally ignore her friend's statement all together.

"Afternoon. Ezra Fitz is getting a divorce," Spencer repeated, more aggressively this time.

"Okay?" Aria raised an eyebrow.

Rosewood was a small town and unfortunately, neither her nor Ezra had escaped it as adults. Word travels fast. Surely she would've heard about it sooner rather than later. So Aria couldn't wrap her head around Spencer's reasoning for telling her in such a hurried manner.

"I saw him and Nicole walking out of divorce court today," Spencer went on, oblivious to the fact that Aria didn't care. "I tried to get his lawyer to tell me what was going on, but as expected, he wouldn't say a word."

"Spencer, no offense, but I couldn't care less about who Ezra is or isn't married to," Aria rose to her feet and straightened out her apron.

"He looked awful," Spencer continued as if Aria hadn't just voiced her opinion on the subject. "He had really dark circles underneath his eyes, his clothes were all wrinkled. I bet Nicole kicked him out, that's why he looks so shitty. Aria, his hair is turning gray already. Well, the sides are."

"That's great, Spence," Aria rolled her eyes as she padded over to a mirror mounted on the wall above a couch adjacent to where she had previously been standing.

"It's not great. It's sad," Spencer chuckled despite the apparent tone of the situation she was presenting. "I mean, did you ever imagine back in high school that heart-throb Fitz was going to end up divorced and graying at 26? He seemed like he had his life together."

Aria shook her head and fluffed her brunette locks with her hand, her eyes fixated on themselves in the mirror. In them, she saw an undeniable sadness, something that made her stomach churn with guilt. Truthfully, she hadn't imagined any of the events that had taken place over the last 8 years to happen back in high school. If someone had asked her at 16 what her life would be like in 10 years, she would've said she'd be a newly wed, working at a publishing company in New York, and living in a high end apartment with two small dogs that served as placeholder children until her and her husband were ready for the real thing. She would've said that she'd still talk to Ezra Fitz every day, no matter where in the world he lived. She would've said she'd be perfectly content with her life. Aria would have never thought that at 26, she'd be widowed, the mother of an 8-year-old, working as an elementary school teacher slash barista, and living in the shittiest apartment building in Rosewood. Aria would've never guessed that she and Ezra Fitz wouldn't be on speaking terms. And she could've never dreamed that in 10 years, the only thing that got her out of bed every day was a little girl who was half her and half the former high school Lacrosse team captain rather than the genuine will to live. It just didn't seem right, but it was all she had.

"I guess not, says the girl who got pregnant at 18," Aria joked her pain away.

"Oh, I didn't…I didn't mean it like that," Spencer's nostalgic grimace fell from her face and morphed into a frown.

"It's fine," Aria shrugged. "I was kidding anyway."

Spencer nodded slowly as her expression changed again, this time into one of eagerness. "Speaking of pregnant at 18, when do I get to see my goddaughter? We live 10 minutes from each other, you'd think I'd see her more than I do."

"Well that's your fault," Aria smirked. "If you weren't _always_ working…"

"Someone's got to make the money. I thought you of all people would understand that," Spencer's giggles took away from the weight of her sentence, something Aria was grateful for.

"I do understand. All to well unfortunately," Aria said as she began gathering her hair and pulling it into a pony tail on top of her head. "But I swear you put in more hours than I do."

"Who's on the clock right now and who isn't?" Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"Touché," Aria narrowed her eyes, twisting an elastic band in around her hair to secure the up do she'd just created. "But in all seriousness and your work schedule aside, you wouldn't want to see Soph today. We were up all night. Her coughing was insane. My mom was going to take her to the zoo today, but I think they just stayed home so Sophie could sleep. Poor baby looked like an adorable zombie this morning."

"Should you take her to the doctor?" Spencer crossed her arms over her chest.

"For what? All they'll tell me to do is to keep doing exactly what I've been doing and then they'll charge me $60. No thank you. I've done that dance too many times before," Aria let out a loud puff of air to exaggerate her annoyance.

Spencer offered a sympathetic smile, "I'm sorry you have to deal with stuff like that. That really sucks."

"Yes it does," Aria sighed. "It's all so frustrating. I swear, these doctors and Sophie's medical bill will be what causes me to snap one day. I mean it. It won't be too much longer before _my_ hair starts graying from stress." She smirked, "Huh, then Ezra and I will have something in common again."

"Shall I buy you a bottle of hair dye now or later?" Spencer laughed.

Aria buried her face in her hands and giggled, only to be interrupted by the jingling of the bells above the front doors. The Brew had a customer. And when Aria looked up, she realized that that customer was Ezra Fitz.

Her body tensed, though she wasn't shocked by his sudden appearance. He came in almost daily for his usual dry cappuccino and blueberry muffin. However, Aria usually did a good job of synchronizing his entrance with a bathroom break or the sudden urge to reorganize the mugs in the kitchen. Usually Aria made sure she was doing whatever it took to evade an interaction with Ezra. _Usually._

"The usual?" Aria didn't waste her breath on pleasantries as she made her way behind the register. Instead, she pulled a Spencer a got right to the point.

She gave Ezra a once over as she walked towards him, mentally comparing what Spencer had told her to what she was presently seeing. Her friend hadn't uttered a single lie. He truly looked like shit. Gray shit.

"Yeah," Ezra stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked everywhere at everything that wasn't Aria.

The awkwardness was almost palpable, just like it always was whenever the two were in close proximity to one another. Aria swore it was so thick that she could choke on it. It weighed heavily on her chest so heavily that she could barely breathe and caused her brain to be hyper-aware, resulting in two feelings Aria hated more than anything.

As quickly as humanly possible, Aria fixed him his coffee, took his money and waved him out the door. She could only hold her breath for so long.

The instant the door closed, Spencer barked out a laugh, "Huh, talking about speaking of the devil. Didn't I tell you that he looked terrible?"

Aria nodded without really hearing her friend. Her brain was still reeling from the encounter that would've been so effortless 8 years ago.

"I hope he's not going through this alone," Spencer continued. "I hope he's got someone helping him through this. I mean, I know you two are on the worst of terms, but you have to want that too right?"

Again, Aria nodded without really hearing what was said. Although, had she heard it, she would've agreed. Yes, they had a horrible falling out, but that didn't mean she wished the worst for him. He was still human. He deserved love and compassion just like everyone else did. That love and compassion just wouldn't be coming from her. It would have 8 years ago. But not now. And not ever again.

 **A/N: So I want to start by saying, thank you so so much for the amazing reviews on my last chapter. I was certainly not expecting to get that many reviews, favorites, or follows after just posting the first chapter. I am so overwhelmed. Thank you guys so much. I hope you enjoyed chapter two. You got to see into Aria's new life a bit. Were you surprised by what you found out? Also, what do you think happened between Aria and Ezra that drove them apart? Let me know your thoughts by reviewing! I've said it before and I'll say it again, reviews are my biggest motivators. The more reviews I get, the more inclined I am to post quickly.**

 **And like I said in the author's note in chapter 1, this story will alternate between their adulthood and childhood, so in the next chapter, they'll be kids again. For those of you worried about the time jumps, I promise the childhood chapters will wind up being just as important as the adulthood chapters.**

 **Once again, thanks for reading and don't forget to review!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

_1999_

Aria was 9 years old when she told her first big lie.

She'd been telling little white lies for years. _Did you clean your room? Yes_. _Did you finish your vegetables? Yes. Can you play today? My mom said no._ That was normal. She was a kid. Telling small lies to stay out of trouble or to avoid doing something she didn't want to seemed like the only rational way to go about things. But this lie, this lie was different. It was the kind of lie that made her heart beat wildly in her chest as the words rolled off her tongue. It was the kind of lie that made her paranoid for the rest of the day. And it was the kind of lie, that if discovered, she would be grounded for until college. It was risky, but to Aria, it was a cause worth losing the little freedom she had to.

It wasn't hot outside, but by the time Aria reached her destination, little beads of sweat slid over the curves her cheeks like tears. She had peddled fast, and she had peddled far. By telling her mom that she was headed to her new friend Spencer Hasting's house to play until dinner, Aria had bought herself enough time to ride her Huffy bike to Rosewood Lookout on the other side of the small town and wait for the arrival of the always late Ezra.

Her stomach churned with nerves as she paced back and forth on the dirt path overlooking a river and some dead shrubbery. Her parents had put a limit on how far Aria was allowed to ride her bike unsupervised. She could go 4 blocks in each direction on her own, a distance the perfectly encompassed all of her close friend's houses. Any point beyond that and she needed a parent by her side. No amount of maturity or responsibility would convince her parents otherwise. Going 4 blocks alone was fine, but God forbid she need to go 4 ½ blocks away alone. Apparently, that extra ½ bock was really going to make a difference. Not even her "Ways to Make Summer in Rosewood a Whole Lot Less Monotone" bucket list was enough to sway her mom and dad's decision. And needless to say, riding her bike to Rosewood Lookout, which was 10 blocks from her house, WITHOUT a parent was one of the only things that remained uncompleted on the paper that had been hanging in her treehouse for almost 2 years now. Aria made a mental note to cross it off once she returned home.

Three days ago, Aria and Ezra devised this plan to sneak away to Rosewood Lookout. He'd told her to meet him there at 4:00. It was now 4:15 and Aria was still alone, although she wasn't surprised. She was, however, getting worried. Not because she didn't think he'd show up, but because she was a little girl standing alone in a heavily wooded area. She wasn't allowed to watch crime shows with her parents, but from what she could conclude, she was pretty sure this was how they all started.

In the distance, Aria heard rocks crunching underneath tires, a similar sound to what was made when she'd pulled up to the lookout on her bike. She tensed, figuring it was Ezra, but still looking for an escape route as calmly as possible. Could she out run a grown man trying to kidnap her? Maybe.

She began inching towards her bike, ready to hop on and take off if need be, but halted in her tracks when she saw the glaringly white tires from Ezra's retro bike he'd gotten for Christmas a couple of years ago poke out from behind a tree.

"You're late," She called, turning her back on him and taking a seat on the overhang, letting her legs dangle in the air.

"Funny, I expected you to say 2 words to me when I got here, but those weren't the ones I thought I'd hear," She could hear Ezra slow his bike to a stop and begin climbing off.

She pivoted to face him and shot him a sarcastic smile, "Happy birthday. There. Better?"

"Eh," Ezra shrugged. "Thanks."

Aria watched as he took his helmet off and hung it from one of the handle bars. "You're welcome."

A gentle breeze lifted the hairs that had fallen from Aria's long braid and tickled her nose with them. She leaned back on her palms, closing her eyes to enjoy the cool wind. If there was one thing about springtime in Rosewood that Aria absolutely loved, it was that the feeling of the upcoming summer was offset by the last breaths of winter in the form of wind. The anxiety of break and stress of standardized testing was made slightly more tolerable by the pleasant weather she got to enjoy every day during recess.

A puff of dust was kicked into the air as Ezra situated himself on the ground next to Aria. They both watched the grains twirl around for a bit before flying past them, scratching the bare skin of their arms. "My dad thinks I'm at Hardy's house," Ezra said once the air stilled again.

"I told my mom I was going to Spencer's," Aria bit her lip, suddenly feeling guilty for lying. Ezra laughed. "What's so funny?"

"You can't tell anyone but," Ezra lowered his voice into a whisper and made a quick once over of the area around them as if he didn't already know they were alone. "Hardy has a crush on Spencer."

Aria furrowed her brow, "Why is that funny?"

"Because you told your mom you were going to Spencer's. My dad thinks I'm at Hardy's. We unknowingly used two future lovers as our cover ups," Ezra explained as though it was simple math.

"They aren't future lovers, trust me," Aria rolled her eyes. "Spencer likes Toby Cavanaugh." Her eyes widened. "Don't tell anyone I told you that."

Ezra frowned, then outstretched his arms and leaned back on the dirt to look at the cotton candy sky above them. "And this is why I don't believe in love. It's never given by who you want it to be from."

"That's sad, Ezra. Don't say that," Aria pouted, staring at her horizontal friend. This wasn't the first time she'd heard Ezra make the soul-crushing statement. The first time had been shortly after his parents separated, which Aria suspected had something to do with his sudden and cynical point of view. But just because this wasn't her first time hearing such a thing from him, didn't mean she was used to it. In a way, it hurt her.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't," Ezra let his head loll to the side to get a good look at her.

Aria sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and tilted her chin towards the river. "I can't think of any."

"Exactly."

"But I will."

"Can we talk about something else until you do?" Ezra plucked a small weed from the ground and flicked it into the air.

"Sure, it's your birthday. We can do whatever you want," Aria sighed and laid back next to him, her brain silently beginning to rack itself for reasons to give Ezra before they went home.

As Aria got lost in her thoughts, the atmosphere around the two friends became quiet. Ezra continued staring at the sky, seemingly living in his own little world. The river trickling below, the rustling leaves dancing in the breeze, and the chirping of red birds briefly provided the sound track to their afternoon together until the little black watch on Ezra's wrist beeped three times.

Without looking at him, Aria raised her eyebrows and said, "Don't tell me you have to go soon. You just got here."

Ezra shook his head, "No. It's just 4:30. My watch beeps every half hour."

"That's annoying."

Ezra shrugged but didn't comment on it. Instead, he turned the conversation back on her. "What time do you have to head home?"

"About 5:30," Aria lifted her arm and bent it at the elbow to inspect the pink hair band on her wrist. She pulled a long, dark hair from around it and let it go in the wind. "Will you let me know when that is?"

"Yeah, don't worry," Ezra nodded. "I have to leave by then too. Got to be home by…"

"Dinner," Aria finished his sentence for him. Her ability to do so didn't come from the fact that they'd known each other since birth, rather it came from a routine both of their families lived by. Play time ended at dinner time. And that was one thing that never changed, no matter how much their lives did…especially Ezra's.

"Yeah," Ezra huffed, then paused. "My dad keeps asking why I don't invite you over anymore."

Aria narrowed her eyes.

"I keep telling him that I do. I just don't invite you to his house," Ezra continued, rolling his eyes back into his head.

"Why don't you?" If she was being honest, Aria had wondered that too. It wasn't like Aria didn't know Ezra's dad. She knew him almost as well as she knew his mom. And it wasn't like Ezra's dad's new house was that far out of the way for her. He had relocated to a small town just outside of Rosewood to keep Ezra, and now Ezra's baby brother Wes, close to home and school. Apparently their family therapist suggested that keeping familiar routines and surroundings helped the kids cope better with divorce.

"Because it's out of the way. Also my dad can be a real jerk sometimes. He always yells at me and I don't like being yelled at in front of my friends," Ezra crossed him arms over his chest. "He yelled at me today. Most dads don't yell at their kids on their birthdays, but he did. And you want to know why he did? Because I didn't pick my towel up off the bathroom floor. But guess what, Aria? I didn't put it there. It fell. I tried to tell him that and he sent me to my room. He almost didn't let me go 'hang out with Hardy', but I guess he decided that he didn't want to completely ruin my birthday."

Aria felt her heart sink to her stomach. Ezra had been complaining about his father a lot recently. Ever since his parents split, his father had been acting even more short tempered than usual. A few months ago, his dad caught Ezra on the phone with Aria at midnight on a Friday. She wished she could forget the sounds of his father screaming about the phone bill and Ezra's lack of consideration for anyone else in the house who was trying to sleep, and by that he meant him. She wished she could forget the sound of Ezra crying and the way his voice broke when he said he wished he could live with his mom permanently. And although she knew that Ezra's dad wasn't hitting him, she was sure the way he often spoke to Ezra was considered abuse all on it's own.

"I'm so sorry, Ez," Aria whimpered.

"Turning 9 has truly sucked. I can't wait until I'm 12 and can choose which parent I want to live with," Ezra spoke with a strain in his voice. "I'm sure as heck going to pick my mom and avoid my dad as often as possible."

Aria fixated her gaze on a puffy cloud shaped like a turtle as she asked, "Why do you think he's so angry all the time?"

Ezra grunted, sitting up. "I don't know. I used to think it was the divorce, but it's been a year."

Aria's mom had a hunch that she'd stated many times around Aria, therefore, Aria had a hunch. Ezra's father was an alcoholic. He always had a beer in his hands at family outings, not that Aria had really ever noticed. And apparently, Ezra's mother, Diane, had spent more than enough mornings learning how to nurse her husband's hangovers while simultaneously getting Ezra ready for school. Aria didn't know exactly what drinking too much could do to a person, but her mother claimed that it could make a person have frequent, angry outbursts, and unlike Aria herself, her mother wasn't a liar.

"Weird," Aria settled on an adjective instead of divulging her theory to him. "Did he at least get you a birthday present?" Ezra's mother had held his party the weekend before when she had custody of him with other family and his close friends. Of course, Aria had been invited. She watched Ezra open a gift from every friend and relative he had…well every relative except his father. Not only had his father been absent from the celebration, but he hadn't even had the decency to drop off a Super Soaker or something.

"Uh, yeah," Ezra kicked his feet as they hung over the ledge. "He got me the second _Harry Potter_ book."

"You already had that," Aria stated the obvious. She knew that because she had been the one to give him his first copy…on his last birthday. It had been a trick to get him to read more, to be more like her. He was getting too into cars and other boy things that she didn't know how to talk about for her liking. By giving him a book, especially one of such massive popularity, Aria was innocently grooming Ezra in the direction of her tastes. So far, it had been working. They planned to wait in line at the local bookstore all night for the release of _Prisoner of Azkaban_ that coming summer.

"Mhmm," Ezra nodded solemnly. "I didn't tell him that though. I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

"You should've," Aria spat. "And you still should. But if you don't want to, I'll tell him off for you." It was a joke. Aria could never disrespect a grown up, well, at least not to their face. But a small part of her still meant it. Ezra was her best friend. She'd do anything for him.

"That would go well," Ezra snorted.

"Yeah, maybe it'll end with you getting a trip to Disney World. I can be very persuasive," Aria boasted while she giggled.

"Debatable," Ezra cocked an eyebrow.

"It's true. I've persuaded you to do things you didn't want to do so many times."

"When?" Ezra gasped.

"Well, for starters, I got you to read the _Harry Potter_ books. Before that, you hated reading anything without pictures," Aria stated matter-of-factly. "And I got you to realize that Wesley was a much better name than Liam for your little brother. Gosh, I cannot believe your parents entrusted _you_ with naming their second born." She made a gagging noise as if the thought letting Ezra do such a thing was vomit inducing. "Oh, and I convinced you to eavesdrop on that couple fighting at The Brew back when we still did the whole Secret Society of Spies thing. You're nosy-ness saved their relationship. I'm basically a miracle-worker." Aria pulled her braid over her shoulder just so she could flick it back with her hand for dramatic effect.

"Oh my God, I forgot about that club!" Ezra grinned at the newly dug up memory. That club had lasted a whole 2 months before their parents caught onto what they were doing and reprimanded them. They said it wasn't right to eavesdrop on other people's conversations, no matter how many relationships their meddling saved…which by the way, was only 1. "Good times. Good times."

"Once a member, always a member," Aria recited part of their old vows.

"I can't believe that one day I'll be 25 and still be a member of some lame club we made up when we were 7," Ezra laughed.

"Your past will always be there to haunt you," Aria smirked. "So not only will you forever be a member of the Secret Society of Spies, but you'll also always have to live with the fact that you played Barbie's with me until last year."

Ezra's face reddened. "I thought I told you not to mention that anymore! I hate you. I hate you so much."

Aria giggled, "No you don't. You love me." She exaggerated the 'uh' sound in the word to emphasize their tight knit bond.

"I don't believe in love, remember?" Ezra stuck his tongue out as if he'd just won their little skirmish, but Aria shook her head.

"You do, too. And this right here is one reason why you do…and _should."_ Aria gestured to herself. "You're my best friend, and I love you like my own brother. I'm your best friend, which means you should love me too. And I think you do. Otherwise you wouldn't have played Barbie's with me until we were 8. And you wouldn't read because I wanted you to. You want to make me happy. That's what love is. Wanting to make someone else happy. You should _want_ to do that. And if you don't want to, well too bad because you already do it."

"Who died and made you the love expert?" Ezra scoffed playfully.

"Obviously I know more about it than you do, so you should listen to me," Aria narrowed her eyes at him.

"Okay, so let's say I do love you," Ezra shrugged. "I don't love you enough to want to marry you, so is that even love?"

"It's platonic love," Aria offered a solution to his mental dilemma.

"What's platonic mean?" Ezra cocked his head to one side.

"Like…a friendship kind of love."

"I don't think that's a type of love," Ezra wrinkled his nose.

"It is," Aria protested.

"Whatever, know-it-all," Ezra teased.

"Shut up," Aria pushed his shoulder forcefully, but still in good fun.

Ezra rocked to the side from her touch before sitting upright again. "Hey, it's not nice to shove the birthday boy."

"Whatever," Aria pushed him again. "You deserve it."

Ezra stared at Aria for a moment, long enough to seem to be memorizing her features, before his lips twisted into a wicked grin. His eyes flickered from her face to his watch then back up again. "We've got 15 more minutes before you have to leave."

"Okay?" Aria's tone was laced with confusion.

"Okay," Ezra nodded. Suddenly, his hand shot up from it's position in his lap and pushed against Aria's arm hard. "Tag, you're it."

Before Aria could process what had just happened, Ezra had stood up and began running down the dirt path, towards a trail for hikers. With an exaggerated sigh, Aria rose from her spot and dusted debris from her butt as she tailed after her friend with a smile on her lips and a giggle in her throat.

There were a few things about Ezra that would never change with age. One was that he was always going to be late. Always. Two, he would also avoid touchy subjects by joking around and doing his best to change the subject, even if it meant running away from his problems, literally and figuratively. Three, he was always going to be that goofy kid that Aria loved to hang out with, even if hanging out with him meant compromising her morals and lying to her mom.

Unfortunately, Aria's love and loyalty for her friend _would_ change with age. Ezra would continue to be late, continue to run away from his problems, but Aria…Aria would be willing to do a lot more than lie to keep her best friend by her side. And because of that, people would get hurt…horribly.

 **A/N: So, here's the thing. This past week and half was a lot busier than I thought it was going to be. Not only did I have 3 finals in the college courses I'm taking, but I had work all weekend, a graduation party on Saturday night, my senior pictures on Sunday, a huge test on Monday, and a band concert after school Tuesday. I didn't expect to be that swamped or else I would've given you guys a heads up. So I am so sorry for the long wait! It (hopefully) won't happen again.**

 **So what did you guys think of the chapter? You got to see a little bit of Ezra's childhood home life. Do you feel bad for him? How do you think his father's actions will affect him in the future? Any more guesses on what could have torn them apart? No one has guessed it completely correctly yet.**

 **They will be 26 again in the next chapter. Expect a little more interaction between Ezria than in the last "26" chapter. That's all I can say without spoiling it, haha.**

 **Please, please, please review! I love reading what you guys have to say. Also, to make up for such a long wait, I plan on updating again on either Friday or Saturday. Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

_2016_

"Ow, Sophie," Aria hissed while watching a few strands of her dark hair float to the ground in the mirror.

"Sorry. Your hair is tangley," The spitting image of Aria herself replied, scrunching her nose and continuing to pull on her mother's hair from behind.

"Then use a brush, not your fingers," Aria reached for her hairbrush on the counter and handed back to her daughter who was in the process of rolling her eyes like the 16-year-old she thought she was.

Recently, Sophie had formed an obsession with doing hair. She wanted to learn how to straighten it, curl it, and put it into every single type of braid known to man. At first, Aria had been more than willing to teach her. It was great mother-daughter bonding time, and although it brought Sophie some tears of frustration and a couple of burns that needed icing, it was a nice way to start their days. But as time went on and Sophie progressed from needing to learn to needing to practice, it was Aria that usually wound up burned or in tears as she reluctantly offered her locks to her daughter's unskilled hands.

This particular morning, Sophie was putting Aria's hair in a Dutch braid. The task should've been fairly simple and pain-free, but the little girl had a tendency to forget that her mother was tender headed and yank the hairs into place. Aria had already yelped about 4 times since she started 3 minutes ago.

To distract herself from the wrath of her child's hands, Aria inspected her appearance in the streaked mirror that she'd been meaning to clean for ages. She was pleased to see that she didn't look as tired as she had yesterday. She had gotten a full 8 hours of sleep last night, but she wasn't sure if that would be enough to make up for the time she lost two nights ago. However, despite not looking as tired, she did look more annoyed than she had yesterday. She wanted to blame it on knowing she had another 8 hour shift ahead of her at The Brew, something that would keep her from being able to spend time with Sophie and enjoying her summer, but she knew that wasn't it.

She hadn't stopped thinking about Ezra Fitz since she saw him yesterday and that was annoying as hell. Her brain had a habit of holding onto to memories and forcing them to the forefront of her brain every now and again, but she'd done a pretty good job of suppressing all thoughts of her former best friend for the past 8 years. So she wasn't sure why his appearance in The Brew yesterday afternoon had cause such a relapse in her brain.

It wasn't like she still cared for Ezra. Of course, she would care if he died or something horrible like that, but she wasn't really interested in his life beyond that. But the way he'd looked standing in front of her at the counter, so gray, so ghost-like, defeated, and small, made her heart twitch with a feeling that was synonymous to pain. Whatever had happened that drove him and Nicole to divorce had killed him. But he had killed Aria long ago He didn't deserve her pity. So why was her brain suddenly insisting that she give it to him?

She could only imagine what Matt would tell her if he was still alive. He was the only one who knew the full story of what happened between the inseparable duo that was Aria and Ezra. He'd been around when the fallout happened, just as many of their close friends had been, but he was the only one she felt inclined to tell. After all, she had been carrying _his_ baby at the time.

Aria told Matt the story through her tears the night before their shotgun wedding. They'd been sitting in the unfurnished apartment they'd just leased. Two teenagers with a baby on the way had no business living in their parents' homes. They needed privacy. They needed to be adults. He'd held her in his arms, silent and she cried and cried, recounting every word and everything not said. It wasn't until she was done that Matt finally spoke. Compared to Aria who spoke for hours, he didn't say much on the subject. But what he did say, has stuck with her ever since.

"I've never heard a story so messy and fucked up in my life and I've heard a lot of shit. I know I can't make it better for you. I can't undo what you did or what he said. But honestly, I don't want to. And you shouldn't either. Someone that is willing to hurt you that much doesn't deserve you. He didn't think you were worthy of his time, so he certainly isn't worthy of yours. I know he was a huge part of your life for 18 years, but some people just aren't meant to stay in our lives forever. I think you'll be better off without Ezra than you ever were with him. You'll see. Do yourself some good. Take a deep breath, let it out, and let go of him. It'll all be okay in the long run."

Aria remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. She remembered the way Matt's arms felt on her shoulders. The way she rested one hand on her tiny baby bump and the other on Matt's leg. The way her tears slipped from her cheeks and onto the wood floor, forming a circular pattern at first, then a blob later on. The way she fell asleep shortly after Matt told her to forget about Ezra and had a dream about the two of them fighting for her. The way Ezra had won…

Aria was snapped back to reality by the sound of Sophie letting out a deep, gurgling cough. When she looked up at her daughter in the mirror, she saw that her head was turned away from Aria and one arm was bent over her mouth. Aria tensed. That cough would either lead to the beginning of an attack or nothing at all.

She waited. Nothing happened. And Sophie turned back around to finish what she'd started.

"You okay, sweetheart?" Aria raised an eyebrow.

"I'm fine," Sophie shrugged.

"Do you do extra treatments at Grandma's yesterday like I asked you to?" She watched the little girl's eyes for signs of deceit. Fortunately for Aria, unfortunately for Sophie, she showed all the same signs that Aria did when she lied. She's look to the left and down. She'd slow the tempo of her talking to make sure she said all the right words. She'd let her shoulders creep up ever so slightly.

"Yes," Sophie said with ease. Either she wasn't lying, or she'd been practicing a lot more than hairstyles over the past few weeks.

"Good. Thank you," Aria sighed.

"Voila," Sophie exclaimed, taking her hands away from her mother's hair and clapping exactly two times. "Done."

Aria smiled and handed Sophie the hand held mirror so that she could show her the back of her head. When her hair came in to view in the smudged mirror, Sophie grinned at her creation, making Aria's heart swell in her chest. Nothing made Aria happier than seeing her child happy and proud of something she'd done, even if it was over something as simple as a Dutch braid.

"That looks great Soph," Aria praised.

"Thanks," Sophie beamed. "I think I want to be a hairstylist when I grow up. Do you think I could do that?" She stared at herself in the mirror and twisted her brunette hair into a bun on top of her head as she spoke.

"I definitely think you could," Aria rose from the stool she'd been sitting on and tucked it back in its place under the counter. "Next time we go to get your hair cut, why don't you ask Miss Jennifer about how she got her cosmetology degree?"

"Is that a hair degree?" Sophie cocked her head to the side.

"Yeah," Aria nodded, holding back an explanation of what the degree actually encompassed to avoid being bombarded with questions she didn't necessarily have the answer to.

"Can I get my hair cut tomorrow?" Sophie asked eagerly.

"No, you had it cut 3 weeks ago. Mommy can't afford for you to go when you don't need it done."

That was true. Money was tight. Being a single mom and raising a daughter with a chronic illness that required multiple expensive medications to control on a teacher's salary was hell on her wallet. She barely had enough money to put food on the table and pay rent at times. Her parents would help her out when she was desperate, but she hated relying on them for money, so she tried her best to avoid it.

"If I didn't have CF, or you didn't have me at all, would you be able to afford it?" Sophie innocently asked a questions that sent knives through Aria's heart.

The older Sophie got, the more aware she became of her mother's financial struggles and the role she played in it. She knew that having Cystic Fibrosis, CF for short, was costly, but she also knew it was an avoidable expense. The medication kept her healthy. It kept her alive.

Aria sighed, moving to pick Sophie up and set her down on the counter. "Soph, you know that your medication is expensive. So, yeah, if you didn't have CF, there would be a lot more things that we could afford. But, you do have it. And there's nothing we can do about it. At least not yet. But I hope you know that I will pay whatever it costs to keep you healthy. You mean so much more to me than any luxury item, than any hair cut, than any house. I wouldn't trade you for a billion dollars. You're worth every dollar, every dime, everything. Okay?"

"Okay," Sophie smiled softly. "I love you, mom."

"I love you more, Soph," Aria brushed a piece of Sophie's hair behind her ears, admiring her blue eyes, the only thing she'd inherited from her father, as she did so.

"Handshake," Sophie pulled her head back from Aria's grip and stuck her pinky in the air.

Aria grinned and wrapped her pinky around her daughter's. The two girls stuck their thumbs out and planted a kiss on them, before touching the pads of their thumbs to one another's and twisting quickly to their left. It was a motion Aria had come up with shortly after Matt died and made it a part of their nightly routine. She'd done it in an effort to give Sophie as sense of order and sameness in her days while she adjusted to life without a father. The "handshake" stuck and overtime the two began using it all throughout the day whenever they felt like it. Aria knew that one day it would come to an end. Soon, Sophie would feel too old to perform a handshake with her mother. But for as long as it did last, Aria made sure to cherish it.

"Okay, now you need to go get dressed. Grandma's gonna be by in 10 minutes to pick you up. I think you're going to the zoo today since you're feeling better, so dress cool. It's hot out today," Aria instructed as Sophie hopped off the counter and headed towards her room.

"Duh, it's summer," Sophie sassed.

"Sophie Juliette," Aria scolded playfully as she always did when the little girl acted older than she was.

Sophie turned around and winked before shutting the door to her room, something Aria knew she would've done at that age. It was a little scary how much Sophie was like her mother, considering how many poor choices Aria made back in the day. It worried her, but there was nothing she could do about it now. She would just have to wait and pray that Sophie would one day learn from her mistakes.

Line Break

From the moment Aria arrived at work, she wanted to go home. Not because she didn't want to stand around and make coffee for ungrateful strangers. Not because the photos her mom was sending her of Sophie enjoying the zoo were making her heart ache. Not because business was painstakingly slow. But because _he_ was there…all damn day.

Aria had almost laughed out loud when she walked into work at 9 am and saw Ezra already sitting inside on his laptop, unshaven and in the same clothes he wore yesterday. How ironic. She couldn't get him out of her head all night and now here he was, sitting nonchalantly on his computer, sipping his coffee, and making her feel uncomfortable with his presence. How rude.

She thought he would leave eventually. Surely, he' get bored after an hour and go home, or wherever the hell he was staying while he and Nicole battled it out in court. No one could possibly be satisfied sitting in a coffee shop for 8 hours, their only movement being when they got up to pee. But sure enough, Ezra was defying her every assumption by staying put all day long.

It was hard not to stare at him. It was like he was a car accident and she was a passerby. She had to get a good look at the mess before her. And what a mess her was.

He looked worse than he had yesterday. His eyes drooped as if he hadn't slept and his chin boasted an unsettling amount of stubble. The few times Aria was forced to walk directly passed him almost caused her to gag. It was clear he hadn't showered last night…or maybe in a few days at all, which made her wonder if he was staying anywhere besides the streets. His looks and smell qualified him to be a hobo, maybe that's exactly what he was.

As 5 o'clock rolled around, Aria and her boss, Emily, began counting the money in the register and wiping down the counters, preparing to close. On the weekdays, there was no reason to stay open very late. No one seemed to want coffee past 6. Well, no one, except of course, Ezra, who was still there, sipping on his 7th drink of the day.

"Please tell him to leave. We're closing," Emily mumbled under her breath as she and Aria turned off the machines up front. "This place isn't a hotel. He can't spend the night."

"Why do I have to do it? You're the owner," Aria bit her lip, trying her best to avoid sounding like a petty high school girl trying to avoid her ex, but failing miserably.

"Aria, please," Emily hissed. It was clear she was stressed, although Aria was sure it wasn't about a customer staying a littler later than he should've. But knowing Emily, she was going to pretend like that was the only reason. Aria made a mental note to ask Emily about the real cause on Thursday, when she worked again.

"Give me a minute," Aria pretended to have taken an interest in the pastries displayed in the glass case by the entrance.

"Now," Emily seethed, making Aria jump slightly. "It won't take you 10 seconds. Put on your big girl panties and talk to him."

Aria sighed and stepped around Emily, bracing herself to have the most "intimate" conversation she'd had with Ezra in 8 years.

As she approached his chair, he looked up from his laptop, expressionless, as if he was expecting her confrontation but didn't care.

"Uh, we're closing in about 10 minutes. You should go," Aria said in her best authoritative voice.

"Right," Ezra nodded as he closed his laptop.

"Thanks," Aria muttered before turning on her heels and beginning towards the safety of the counter again.

"Uh, wait, Aria," Ezra cleared his throat. Aria froze. That was the first time she'd heard her name on his lips since their falling out. "Do you…do you know anyone looking to buy a laptop? It's used, but it's only about a year old. Still in good condition."

Against her better judgment, Aria turned around and shook her head. "No, why?" She folded her arms over her chest as if she were protecting herself from whatever he would say next.

"I'm selling this one," Ezra held up the MacBook in his hand and looked at it longingly. "I need some extra cash right now. I have to start saving for an apartment."

"Oh," Aria nodded. "Well I don't know anyone, sorry." She began turning away again, but was stopped by his voice once more.

"Do you know of anyone hiring around here? I've looked but everyone seems to want to hire teenagers. Apparently they'll work more for lower pay," Ezra cast his eyes down to his shoes.

Aria narrowed her eyes, "Don't you have a job? You teach at Rosewood High, right?" Just because she didn't necessarily care about Ezra anymore didn't mean she avoided his status updates on Facebook. He always had stories to tell about his students, which Aria found entertaining since she could relate. She just pretended that it wasn't his status as she read and laughed out loud.

"It's summer, Aria," Ezra sassed, much like Sophie had that morning. An unsettled feeling briefly formed in Aria's stomach.

"Right," She clucked her tongue, pushing away her bad thoughts. "But the salary should be enough to sustain a _single_ man." She emphasized the word single to let him know she knew what was going on in his life.

Ezra's eyes widened as it clicked. "Lawyer fees are a bitch and so is Nicole. She's after all my money."

"That's unfortunate," Aria tried to hide her smirk. Lawyer fees and Nicole weren't the only bitches in Ezra's life. Aria could think of another one called karma working her magic in his situation right now too.

"Yeah," Ezra agreed, clearly missing the sarcasm wrapped around Aria's words. "Where do you live?" The question seemed to come out of nowhere, though it had been sitting in Ezra's mind for awhile.

"Why?" Aria raised an eyebrow.

"Is it cheap? I need a place to live and I figured you might know a fairly inexpensive one. I mean, you're a teacher too, and I know about Sophie's…condition. That must cost a lot."

Hearing Sophie's name on Ezra's tongue made Aria's skin crawl. In her mind, he barely deserved to say Aria's name, much less her daughter's. It also made her more aware of how much of her life she shared on Facebook. Just like Aria saw everything Ezra posted, he saw everything she posted. And being the proud mother that she was, a majority of her wall was pictures of her mini-me.

"It does," Aria snapped. "And yeah, the complex I live in is cheap, for Rosewood anyway. $1000 a month."

Ezra grimaced. Aria wondered if even $1000 was too much for him to afford at the moment. "What's the complex called?" His question seemed timid.

Aria hesitated. It was one thing, running into Ezra almost every day at The Brew. It would be another to see him every day while entering and exiting her apartment. She racked her brain for the best way to tell him she didn't want to tell him without him getting angry. She'd seen enough of that 8 years ago to last a lifetime.

Sensing her apprehension, Ezra backtracked. "You know what, never mind. I'll find somewhere else. Thanks, though. Bye, Aria. Emily." He acknowledged the owner, who had been eavesdropping behind the counter, as he quickly strode towards the exit.

The little bells on top of the door jingled in his wake, providing the only sound in the empty establishment for a few long seconds.

As Aria pivoted back around the face Emily, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror hanging on the wall above the couch. The day had worn her down. Her makeup looked old, her Dutch braid was beginning to lose a few strands, and her eyes dropped from exhaustion. And although it wasn't funny, she began to laugh under her breath. She looked even more annoyed than she had when the day had started and once again, it was all due to Ezra Fitz.

"I think that's the first time I've ever heard you two say more than 5 words to each other," Emily teased, picking up her bag from the floor.

"The first and hopefully the last," Aria rolled her eyes. "That was longer than 10 seconds by the way. I think I deserve a raise."

Emily chuckled, "Take a five out of the register for your valiant efforts."

"Wait, really?"

"No. Go home, Aria," Emily playfully commanded.

"Fuck you," Aria stuck out her tongue like the adult she is.

"Goodnight, Aria," Emily called out as she walked towards the door as Aria tailed behind her.

"Night, Em. See you Thursday."

 **A/N: I know I said I'd update Friday or Saturday, but I wound up staying out late both nights and didn't want to write this while I was half-awake. So here it is on Sunday.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed chapter 4. You got to meet Sophie, hear a little more about Matt, and see a longer Ezria interaction. So let me know what you thought by reviewing. Any more guesses as to what happened between Aria and Ezra? Please please please review! Y'all's words are my biggest motivators!**

 **I will definitely update by Thursday at the latest. If there's a lot of reviews, I'll update Wednesday. As always, thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N pt. 1: Words cannot even begin to describe how sorry I am for how late this chapter is. I know I said I'd upload it Wednesday or Thursday of last week, and here I am a week later, just now uploading. I know this is a lame excuse but time just got away from me. I knew I wasn't going to be able to upload anything Memorial Day weekend due to my prom being on Saturday and wanting to keep the festivities going by spending the rest of the weekend until Tuesday up at my friend's lake house. Any motivation I had to upload before that was put on the backburner while I focused on high school finals and the Houston flood 2.0. And any motivation I had** ** _after_** **that was squashed by the internal consequences of poor (but fun) decisions my friends and I made at the lake house. So I am very very sorry! But here it is, finally. I hope you enjoy!**

 _2001_

Labor Day weekend was the most depressing weekend of the entire year. Well, at least to two 11-year-olds it was. It signified the end of a three-month hiatus from getting up early, doing homework, and taking tests. It signified the end of a summer full of adventure and mischief. It signified the end of their abundant happiness.

So every year, to soften the blow of going back to school, Ezra's family would pack up and spend their last few days of freedom at their lake house a couple of hours outside of Rosewood and let Aria tag along. However, this year, the usual upbeat and carefree demeanor that usually came along with being up at the lake was replaced by an awkward tension and sense of apprehensiveness. Aria could feel it the minute she climbed into their van on Friday evening and it didn't take her long to figure out what the cause of it was. Labor Day at the lake house had always been a Fitz plus one Montgomery family affair, even after Ezra's parents divorced. They just alternated years. One year his mom went. The next, his dad. This year, it was Ezra's mom's year to take the kids for a few days of fun. And this year, she brought her boyfriend…and his two kids.

The lake house only had 3 bedrooms. _Usually,_ one went to Ezra's parents, one went to Ezra and Wes, and the other went to Aria. But this time around, everything changed. The master bedroom still went to Ezra's mom, but now her boyfriend, Ryan, got to sleep there too. One bedroom still went to Ezra and Wes, but now Aria had to make herself a pallet on the floor because her room had been hijacked by a couple of bratty kids who thought they were entitled to what had been hers for years.

At first she wasn't too mad about it. She even understood it a bit. It was Ezra who was angry. And like all good best friends, Aria adopted his mood so he'd seem less irrational. Unfortunately, their "band together" attitude had gotten Ezra in trouble and Aria a threat to not return with them next year. After that, the anger the two felt towards Ezra's potential step-siblings turned to resentment, and all hell was beginning to break loose.

"Wes, can you go downstairs or something? Aria and I need to talk in private," Ezra announced when he walked into the bedroom for 3 after dinner on Sunday evening.

Wes looked up from the tower of Legos he was building and pouted. "C'mon, Ez. You can talk while I'm in here. I can keep a secret."

"No you can't," Ezra huffed. "Please, Wes?"

"Ezra," Wes whined.

Ezra opened his mouth to try again, but Aria put her hand up to stop him. She knew that arguing with a 6-year-old was futile. She'd had enough experience with Mike not listening to her and they were even closer in age than Wes and Ezra were. It was frustrating, but it had taught her what to do in these situations.

"Wesley, how about you go downstairs for an hour so that your brother and I can talk and later tonight, Ezra will let you play with his Gameboy? Does that sound like a fair trade?" Aria could see Ezra glaring at her from the corner of her eye. That Gameboy was like his baby and he _never_ let Wes play with it. Ever. She knew Wes wouldn't be able to resist an offer than involved getting to do the one thing his older brother didn't allow him to do. She also knew that Wes would be out like a light by about 8:30 and would more than likely not have any recollection of her promise in the morning. It was a score for Ezra, presented as a point for Wes.

"Really?" Wes looked to Ezra with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah," Aria answered for her best friend in a faux-excited tone.

"Okay!"

And just like that, they were alone.

"Bow down to the master," Aria opened her arms dramatically as Ezra shut the door to their bedroom.

"I'm not bowing down to you. You just promised my Gameboy to my little brother. He's going to break it. You know if you weren't a girl, I'd hit you," Ezra spat as he plopped down on his unmade bed, clearly miffed by her negotiation tactics.

"He's not going to get to play with you Gameboy," Aria sat cross-legged on Wes's bed, facing Ezra. "it's 7:45. I'd put money on the fact that he'll pass out on the couch downstairs in less than an hour. And tomorrow morning, he probably won't remember the deal I made with him. So don't freak out, okay?"

Ezra pushed himself up onto his elbows, eyebrows raised in surprise, "You're my hero." Aria giggled. "Seriously, where did you learn to be that sneaky?"

"I've got a little brother too, Ezra," Aria shrugged. "I've just had one for longer than you have."

"I have a lot to learn from you, all mighty one," Ezra sat completely up and bowed from his waist, his palms pressed together as if he were in prayer.

Aria grinned and felt a flutter in her stomach.

Her face flushed slightly. That had been happening a lot lately. Any time Ezra did something she used to think was stupid or goofy, butterflies erupted in the pit of her stomach and suddenly it wasn't stupid of goofy anymore. It was…cute. The same thing happened when he said addressed her by name. Suddenly he wasn't just saying her name anymore. He was speaking to something a little deeper inside of her.

She knew exactly what was going on and she didn't like it. Ezra was her best friend. Emphasis on _friend_. She couldn't like him. He was supposed to be like her brother. But Mike never made her insides jump and her heart skip a beat like Ezra did. God, she hated puberty.

In order to brush off her feelings, Aria usually just pretend it was something else that made her feel that way. Sometimes she pretended that whatever Ezra did reminded her of the guy she "openly" had a crush on, Matt Callahan. And by openly, she meant she had told a few close friends that she liked him, but told them not to tell anyone else. Sometimes, Aria pretended that the rush she got when Ezra complimented, like when he told her she was smart or asked her to teach him her ways, was just that old feeling she used to love whenever she taught Ezra anything. Superiority, maybe. All these years later and Ezra was still far better at math and science than she was, so she often found herself asking him for help on homework. So on the rare occasion that Ezra asked her for assistance or said he had something to learn from her, Aria felt smart and useful.

"So, uh, what did you want to talk about?" Aria clasped her hands together in her lap and leaned forward, halting the thoughts occurring in her head and the feelings occurring in her body.

"I just…I wanted to apologize, I guess," Ezra rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, a nervous habit he'd recently acquired.

"For what?"

"For how this weekend has turned out," He shrugged. "For Kendall and Presley taking your room, for Bryce being kind of rude to you, for the fact the you had to sit on the floor on the boat while we ate lunch because there weren't enough seats, even though there clearly were if Bryce hadn't been a jerk and just sat in the driver's seat like any normal person would've done."

A grateful smile formed on Aria's lips. An apology, even if it wasn't from the right person, was much appreciated. Her weekend hadn't been awful, but it hadn't been what it usually was. Normally, when Aria came up with the Fitz's, she got her own room, her own spot on the boat, her own place at the dinner table, and treated like another family member. This time around, Aria had not only been robbed of a room, but she had gotten _her_ seat on the boat stolen by a slightly older and therefore "better than her" Kendall, _her_ place at the table taken by Presley and forced to wedge a bar stool that was too tall where she could fit it at the round 5-person table, and often, not-so-discreetly criticized for being at the lake house since she wasn't family by Ezra's mom's boyfriend, Bryce, though, technically, he wasn't family either. In fact, Aria was more of a member of the Fitz family than he and his two daughters were. The whole ordeal had made Aria seethe with loathing for the new, encroaching family.

"It's alright," Aria said as a courtesy. "It wasn't your fault. I still had a good time with you." Aria's face flushed…again. "And your family." She added quickly.

"But it's not okay," Ezra sighed. "Bryce, Kendall, and Presley have been nothing but mean to you and that's not right. You're my best friend. You're practically my sister. They can't be rude to you. It…pisses me off."

Aria furrowed her brow, unsure of how to feel. He'd just called her his sister, which was the number one thing every girl _never_ wants to hear from the boy she likes. But he'd also just said a curse word, something neither of them were allowed to do yet. At only 11, Aria wasn't quite sure what all made her like or dislike someone, but there was _one_ specific thing that she knew made her heart perk up to a guy. She liked bad boys. And cursing when he wasn't allowed was just about as bad as an 11-year-old could get.

"Well, we leave tomorrow, so there's really nothing you can do about it," Aria picked at a loose string on the bed sheet, avoiding eye contact while she sorted out her emotions in her head.

"I guess not," Ezra popped his knuckles. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you though?"

Aria shook her head, "It wasn't your fault. You don't need to make anything up to me."

"But I want to," Ezra pushed. "I know you haven't had as much fun this weekend as usual, and I haven't either because of that. I want to make it up to you…and me, I guess."

"It's almost 8," Aria glanced at the clock on the wall. "Not like we can do anything aside from play a board game now. We can just talk. I like our talks." A sly grin slithered onto her lips. "We could come up with code names for Bryce, Kendall, and Presley and talk bad about them without them ever knowing."

The idea wasn't totally original. Aria's girl friends at school had started doing that as their "popularity" grew. Somehow, one of Aria's friends, Alison DiLaurentis, had asserted her dominance enough to make almost every girl in the grade scared of her and every boy in the grade faun over her…except for Ezra for some reason. Upon her rise to elementary fame, those closest to her became popular by association. And being popular came with a certain set of rule that had to be followed. Talking crap about other people was one of those rules. Aria didn't necessarily like it, but girls her age were mean, and it was better to be at the dealing end of the social destruction than it was the be on the receiving end, so she did it. Aria, Alison, and their three other friends, Emily Fields, Spencer Hastings, and Hanna Marin began nicknaming the girls and boys in their grades so they could talk about them freely and not get in trouble with their teachers. Can't punish someone if you don't know the crime. And being as creative as Aria was, she often had a hand in coming up with the nicknames that stuck. She'd been the inventor of a girl named Paige McCullers's nickname, Pigskin. She'd also thought up Hermy, Cheshire Cat, and Queen Elizabeth for three boys in their grade.

Ezra had a nickname too, although it was one of affection. Alison called him Hotty Toddy. She thought he was cute. Aria didn't disagree.

"How very Alison of you," Ezra laughed.

Aria narrowed her eyes and pouted her full lips, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Nicknaming someone is just a very _Alison_ thing to do," Ezra stood up and walked over to his suitcase and began digging through it's contents.

"Is that why you don't like her?" Aria turned to face him, but remained stationary.

"The nicknames? No," Ezra shook his head. "At least she's sparing people's feelings by not letting them know she'd talking about them."

"Not all the nicknames were created for bad reasons," Aria defended the lost cause. Ezra always had a good heart. He didn't like to hurt people intentionally. And he certainly didn't like that Aria did.

"I know," Ezra leaned down to get a better look at the garments in his bag. "Or should I say, Hotty Toddy knows."

Aria's eyes widened and her heat picked up pace, but for all the wrong reasons. "You know you're Hotty Toddy?"

"Yeah," Ezra stifled a laugh. "I figured it out as soon as I caught Alison staring at me at lunch one day. She likes me, doesn't she?"

Now it was time for Aria's heart to stop. The answer was yes. Alison did like Ezra. But Aria knew how boys worked. Even if they didn't show interest in girls before, they would start the minute they found out they had a chance with her. Maybe that was why Ezra didn't like Alison like every other boy in their grade. Maybe he just didn't think he stood a chance.

"She thinks you're cute," Aria settled on the semi-honest answer.

"Well, you can tell her to move on," Ezra pulled a pair of swimming trunks out of the suitcase and turned around to face Aria again.

"What?" Aria tried not to sound shocked.

"Yeah, I don't like her," Ezra flipped the trunks over his arm. "I don't think she's that cute. If I'm being honest, I prefer brunettes."

It may have been Aria's imagination, but she could have sworn she saw his eyes give her a once over as he confessed his preference. "Oh," was all she could say on the subject. "Why did you get out your swimsuit?" She whispered, mentally deterring her brain from asking any further questions on matter of the heart.

"Because, you and I aren't going to play board games and trash talk people. We are going to go look at the stars. You like stargazing right?" Ezra's sentence was something right out of a romance novel. It was hard to believe he was only 11.

"Uh, yeah," Aria slid her legs from underneath her and stood up. "But why does that require a bathing suit?"

"Because the best view of the stars is away from all the houses, in the middle of the lake," Ezra said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Your mom won't let us go out there. It's too dark and unsafe," Aria folded her arms across her chest.

"Who said she needed to know?"

Line Break

Aria and Ezra waited anxiously until everyone in the house had gone to bed before they made their move to sneak out.

As they made their way through the house, tip-toeing and avoiding the creaky floorboards, Aria became uncomfortably aware of how loud her breathing was. It sounded like wind beating up against the house in violent storm. She had been positive that she'd give the away. But she hadn't.

Once the two were down by the water, Ezra instructed Aria to take a seat on the edge of the dock while he tied the family's black floating mat to one of the wooden beams so that their stargazing "raft" wouldn't drift too far out into the water. So Aria did what she was told. She sat down on the damp wood in her paisley bikini and let her feet graze the top of the water while she waited.

The water was cool, but not cold. Just right in Aria's opinion. Unbeknownst to her then, Aria would remember the feeling of the water on her skin for years to come. She'd associate it with serenity and peace. The way the stars twinkled above her head, the way the waves lapped at her calves, the way Ezra looked much older as he worked to set up their last hoorah of the summer. It was all so…right. She felt like she was in a movie, about to get her happy ending after a weekend of misfortune.

"Okay, all set," Ezra stood up from where he'd been tying the mat's rope to the pole and called his hands together as if he had just done a difficult task.

Aria looked out onto the water and raised her eyebrow, "Uh, how are we supposed to get on it? It floated far away."

Ezra scratched his head, "Well, I could pull it back in or…" The way his voice trailed off told Aria he had something better in mind.

"Or what?"

Ezra walked across the dock to a single rope that hung from one of the highest beams. During the day, that rope was used for swinging into the water with reckless abandon. At night, it was off limits. But technically, so was being out here at all.

"Climb on," Ezra motioned for her to join him. "We'll swing out together."

Aria stood up, but made no move toward him. "Can it handle both of our weights? It's a pretty old rope."

Ezra shrugged, looking up at the notch that held the rope in place, "We'll find out. C'mon."

"Ezra, I don't…"

"Aria, don't be scared. If it breaks, the water will catch us," He took a step closer. Then another. And another. "And I'll make sure you don't drown or anything. I've got your back. C'mon. Please."

Ezra was now right beside Aria, his hand on her arm. She had no choice but to say yes, though she wasn't sure if she would've said no anyway. "Promise you'll make sure I'm safe if it breaks?"

"Promise," Ezra nodded. "I won't let anything happen to you tonight."

"Oh, just tonight? What kind of best friends are we?" Aria teased as he began pulling her in the direction of his choice.

"I won't let anything happen to you _ever,_ " Ezra laughed. "That better?"

"Much," Aria smirked.

When the two reached the rope, Ezra pulled Aria's arms up, forcing her to grab it as if she hadn't wanted to, before he grabbed it himself.

"Okay, so on the count of 3, jump. 1…2…3!"

 _Snap._

 _Scream._

 _Splash._

Ezra's mother never found out about their late night escapade. It wasn't until the family went back to the lake over Spring Break that they even realized their rope was mysteriously disappeared. But thanks to the lie Aria and Ezra had perfectly concocted, both his mother and father assumed that careless teenagers had used their dock when they weren't there, and never even suspected that it had been torn down in the middle of the night during a stargazing misadventure.

Just like he'd promised, Ezra had made sure Aria was safe after the rope sent them plunging 6 feet deep. He'd waited for her to surface before slipping her shocked body onto his back and swimming to the floating mat in the distance. There, he'd made good on his other promise. He made up the weekend of unfortunate events to her.

And that night, Aria didn't find herself sleeping on the floor between Ezra and Wes's bed. Rather, she found herself curled up next to Ezra on his tiny twin sized mattress. At 11, neither of them were thinking about anything more than the happiness they felt lying next to one another. However, neither one admitted it, both unsure of how the other would react, both unaware of the other's growing feelings. So instead of talking about it, they both just laid still next to the other, smiling and silently wishing that that night's events would be precursor to many more nights like that in the future.

Year down the road, their wishes came true. Only it was the things that had gone unnoticed that seemed to repeat themselves. The deception, the lying, the manipulation. Years down the road, Aria would once again feel like she was in a movie. Only this time, the movie wouldn't have a happy ending.

 **A/N pt. 2: I hope y'all enjoyed the chapter and once again, I apologize for the wait. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter by reviewing! I'll try to have the next chapter up by Monday. It would be sooner, but I have graduation/my 18** **th** **birthday this weekend so between those two things, I won't have much time on Saturday or Sunday to write. So yeah, let's shoot for Monday. Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

_2016_

"Mom, who's Noel Kahn?"

Aria froze. Her daughter's question had not only caught her off guard, but had also made her suddenly feel unsure. Who _is_ Noel Kahn? He's not her boyfriend. But he's not just a friend either. They'd gone out on a couple of dates since being matched on Tindr a couple of months ago. But they had yet to label what they were doing as anything more than 'hanging out'. They'd kissed more than once. But other than that, they kept it casual. No hand holding. No cuddling. And certainly no sleepovers. It was confusing enough for Aria, a 26-year-old. There was no way an 8-year-old could wrap her brain around it, especially when that 8-year-old still wasn't entirely over her father's death.

"And why does he have the heart-eye emoji next to his name?"

Sophie's second question let Aria know that there was no talking her way out of this one. She'd been caught. Now it was time to confess and hope for minimal tears and angry outbursts.

Noel wasn't the first guy Aria had dated since Matt's death. If she had counted correctly, he was actually the 5th. First there was Scott, the boring accountant that Spencer set her up with nearly 2 years to the date of the anniversary of Matt's convoy being taken out. Then there was Danny, aka the worst kisser Aria had ever encountered in her life. Next there was Jake, Sophie's YMCA soccer coach. He was great and Aria had really fallen for him over the course of their many secret out of town dates. However, his wife wasn't too thrilled when she discovered the affair. Aria wasn't too thrilled to find out that their relationship was an _affair._ After that, she dated a man named Kent. She'd thought he was cool until he started talking about marriage on the 3rd date.

Tonight, she would be going on her 6th date with Noel. Nothing had gone wrong…yet. He was interesting. Their personalities clicked. He was an excellent kisser. He wasn't married, nor did he want to get married anytime soon. So far, Noel was perfect. Though, he did have one thing in common with all of the men she'd previous gone out with. His existence was a mystery to Sophie.

Sophie had been only 3 when her father died. She didn't remember much about him. All she had were old photographs. And those photographs exclusively showed 3 people. Matt, Aria, and Sophie. They were happy. They were whole. They were what Sophie understood to be a complete family. Without Matt, their family was broken. There was a hole in their lives, just as there was in their hearts. As an adult, Aria knew that that hole could be filled. She knew that someone else could step up into the role of her husband and her daughter's step-father. And she knew that just because someone else took Matt's place in the family portraits didn't mean she had forgotten about her first husband or loved him any less. Sophie, however, did not know any of those things. For that reason, Aria had never once brought a man home to meet her daughter. She'd vowed to never do so until she was sure they were 'the one'. And Aria had upheld that vow well…until today.

Aria turned from where she was making Sophie lunch in her kitchen to face her daughter, who sat at the table with Aria's phone in her clutch. "Noel is a friend of mine that I met a few months ago."

"Do you like him? Is that why you've got the heart-eye emoji next to his name?" There was no hint of anger or confusion in Sophie's voice. Instead, it was flat, monotone, and that scared Aria.

"I do," Aria nodded. She began inching closer to her daughter, ready to catch her in case she made a dash for her bedroom. She had a tendency to lock herself away when she got upset. Aria had witnessed the occurrence several times after she'd received bad news from her pulmonary doctor.

"Does he like you?" Sophie brought her knees up to her chest in the chair, keeping an aloof demeanor as she did so.

"I think so," Aria fought the grin that twitched on her lips at the thought of the feelings she and Noel shared.

"Is that who you're _hanging out_ with tonight?" Sophie stared at her mother as if she were searching for any deceit. Aria stared back briefly, but had to look away when the piercing blue eyes she'd looked into so many times began to reflect the man who'd given them to her daughter rather than Sophie herself. No matter how hard she tried, in uncomfortable times like this, Aria could never lie to those eyes, even if she wanted to.

"Yes," Aria swallowed.

"So it's a date?" Sophie raised an eyebrow.

Aria hesitated. Was it? "I'm not exactly sure." It was an honest answer.

A small smile formed on Sophie's pink lips before her shoulders started to shake with little giggles. "How can you not know? You like him. He likes you. You're going out together. That sounds like a date to me."

Aria laughed lightly too, both relieved by her daughter's reaction to her newly revealed dating life and amused by her level of maturity, sarcastic as it may be. "Yeah, I guess it is a date."

"Pretty sad when an 8-year-old knows more about what a date is than you, isn't it?" Sophie chided, teasing just like her father used to.

"Hey, dating is confusing," Aria rolled her eyes playfully. "You'll understand that when you're old enough to date, which by the way is when you're 30."

"No fair!" Sophie placed her feet back on the floor and crossed her arms over her chest.

"That was your dad's rule, not mine. Blame him."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Aria regretted them. And as she watched Sophie's face fall slightly, she regretted them even more.

"Soph, I…"

"Is Noel going to be my new dad?" Sophie's voice was small, as if she were afraid of the question she'd just asked.

Aria sighed. Here came the conversation she had dreaded since she began dating again 3 years ago. "Sophie, you know that no one will ever replace your dad," The words Aria had been practicing since before her first date with Scott rolled easily off her tongue. "But we can't live our lives saving a place for him at the dinner table every night. Eventually, someone else is going to come along and ask for that seat and we're going to have to give it to him." Okay, that metaphor didn't sound as lame in her head as it did when she said it aloud to Sophie.

"Why?" Sophie whispered.

"Because…well, because we do," Aria cringed at her generic excuse. "Before your father died, we talked about what we would do if one of us were to pass away. It wasn't a fun conversation, but with him being in the military, we knew there was an increased probability of that happening. We both agreed that should one of us die before the other that we would do everything in our power to give you the best life possible. And I know that living in this tiny apartment and being unable to afford all of the activities you want to do isn't the _best life_ possible, but I am trying, and one day, I hope to give it to you. But I don't know if I can do that alone. Your dad and I also agreed that should we be young when the other passed, that it was okay for us to move on and find someone else. It isn't healthy to sit around and mourn the loss of someone for the rest of our lives. We have to move on…find happiness elsewhere. And just because I find someone else, doesn't mean I've stopped loving your dad. I will always, _always_ love him because…" Aria stopped her sentence and averted her gaze to the ceiling to blink back the tears forming in her ducts. "Because he gave me you."

To an outsider, it looked like Aria had said those words to the light fixture above her head. But Sophie knew better. That sentence was directed at her; Aria just didn't want her to see her cry.

"But sometimes," Aria said when she regained composure. "Sometimes we can fall in love with another person despite still loving another. It happens. And Soph, even though me dating is weird and scary for you, I promise that in the end, our lives will be better. I will get a new husband and you will get a step-dad who will love you and support you and give you that _best life_ your father and I promised to give you so many years ago."

Aria could remember making those promises with Matt as if it were yesterday. They had been laying in bed after Aria had breastfed Sophie for the 3rd time that night, discussing the future as if they had a long one ahead of them. Aria was only a month away from her 19th birthday. Matt was nearing 20 and home from a tour in Afghanistan for a length of time Aria couldn't remember anymore. Nights back then were longer. Waking up every 3 hours to feed an infant who took an hour to drink 4 ounces of milk due to GI problems and acid reflux made the nights seem endless. But they liked it. Time was on their side. Or so they thought.

Aria recalled the tears that streamed down her cheeks as she and Matt made those daunting promises. The thought of losing her husband had been unbearable back then. She didn't think she could survive it if it had happened. Yet here she was, 5 years since his death, still alive and kicking. Although she still cried every time she thought about that night. She'd been so naïve. Part of her wished she still was.

"So are you going to marry Noel?" Sophie rephrased her question from earlier.

"I don't know," Aria wiped a tear from her cheek. "We aren't nearly there yet. But I can promise that whoever I do decided to marry, you'll meet first." She laughed softly, despite herself. "And you'll have a say in my decision. If you don't like him, I won't marry him. Sound good?"

"Yeah," Sophie nodded, smiling slightly before turning her head to look at the phone she still held onto and thrusting it toward her mother. "You should probably answer Noel's texts. He was blowing up your messages while you were talking."

Aria reached for her phone. Sure enough, there were 8 unread texts from Noel that had come in within the past 10 minutes. She wasn't sure if that was cute, clingy, or creepy, but she settled upon a mixture of cute and clingy once she opened the messages.

 _Hey sexy ;)_

 _Hello?_

 _We're still on for tonight at 8 right?_

 _Aria? You there?_

 _I can't wait to see you tonight. I have a surprise for you and I think you'll like it a lot._

 _Can you wear that red dress you wore on our 1_ _st_ _date? It was so hot. Red looks so good on you._

 _Aria? Seriously? You there? You're worrying me._

 _Babe?_

Aria bit her lip. Okay, so maybe they were definitely dating. She just wasn't made aware of it. Though, these texts seemed to take care of that.

"What did he want?" Sophie asked, trying to get a peek at her screen.

Aria shook her head and pulled her phone closer to her body and away from the nosy little girl in front of her. The texts weren't explicit, but Aria didn't necessarily want Sophie to see a man she didn't know calling her mother sexy, hot, and babe. It would be mortifying for all parties involved.

"He just wanted to make sure we were still meeting up tonight," Aria simplified the one-sided conversation. "Which reminds me, do you want grandma to come over tonight and watch you or do you want to call a friend and see if you can spend the night?"

"Actually, Katie asked if I could spend the night tonight yesterday, but I wanted to wait until you were in a good mood to ask," Sophie giggled.

Aria furrowed her brow, "Was I ever in a bad mood last night?" She couldn't remember being grumpy, but then again, Sophie perceived her emotions differently than Aria did.

"You were touchy when you came home from work last night," Sophie explained.

 _Oh right, because Ezra Fucking Fitz wouldn't leave the coffee shop all day._ Aria felt a little light bulb go off her head. Suddenly, the accusation made sense. "Right," Aria shifted her weight as she pretended to try to recall why exactly she had been in a bad mood. "Well that's fine with me if the offer still stands. That means I don't have a curfew." She stuck her tongue out like a little kid.

"Be home by 10:30 or else," Sophie faux-warned.

"Or else what, little missy," Aria folded her arms and clucked her tongue, challenging her daughter to a battle of wits. She knew very well that she'd be out way later than 10:30. And now that Aria knew she and Noel were _dating,_ if all went well, she may not be coming home tonight at all. Sophie's 'or else' had to be pretty damn good for her to come home that early.

"Or else…you have to take me to the bookstore in New Haven today and let me buy…2 chapter books." Sophie was a bookworm, just like her mother.

"Deal," Aria said without hesitation. The New Haven bookstore was a used bookstore, and therefore it was cheap. She could buy 2 books there for the price of 1 in Rosewood. And she had no problem dropping cash if it was on something that would further her daughter's education and expand her horizons. "Eat your sandwich, take your medicine, and we can go."

"Yes!"

Aria watched Sophie fist pump the air and then stand up to retrieve her sandwich from the counter before unlocking her phone and opening up her texts from Noel once more.

When she was sure she wasn't being watched, Aria replied:

 _Of course we're still on for tonight, handsome. Meet me at Snooker's Bar and Grill. I'll be the one in red. Xoxo_

Line Break

They hadn't been in the New Haven bookstore for 5 minute before Aria lost Sophie in the sea of books. She kept her calm though. The old couple who ran the store, the Eldridge's, knew the two of them well and cared for Sophie as if she were their own. If Aria didn't have an eye on her, she could keep her peace of mind because she knew that someone did.

Every once in awhile Aria would hear her daughter's excited gasps and coos followed by the sound of Mr. Eldridge's gentle synopsis of whatever book Sophie was looking at. She was really into mysteries at the moment. Aria had lost track of what number "Nancy Drew" book Sophie was on. A part of her wanted to go see if that's what her child was fawning over at the moment, but she decided against it. If she walked over there now, she'd ruin Sophie's chance to tell her everything she'd just learned from Mr. Eldridge about the book on the way home. That girl could talk an ear off whenever she learned something new, but Aria loved it. She knew that one day, Sophie would grow out of wanting to tell her everything, so she had to cherish it while she still could.

Finding her daughter now would also mean closing "Fifty Shades Freed" and putting it back on the shelf where it belonged instead of picking up where she had left off the last time she was there and she didn't want to do that. She was a little over half way done with the book. A couple more trips to the store and she'd finish it. Most normal people would buy the book and finish it at home, but after Aria had walked in on Sophie attempting to read the first book of the trilogy that she had carelessly left on her nightstand, Aria decided it was best to keep adult books out of the house. So like the horny young adult she was, Aria sat cross-legged on the floor in the middle of a deserted isle and devoured every word of the erotica novel.

"You know that if you pay for the book, you can enjoy it from the comfort of your own home?"

The last voice Aria expected or even wanted to hear interrupted the silent speech Christian Grey was giving in her head. Her body tensed as a wave of something resembling nausea washed over her body. _What the actual fuck is he doing here?_ Aria's brain spat in place of where Anastasia was supposed to speak. Talk about a turn off.

With a speed not much quicker than a turtles, Aria lifted her head to look the cause of her discomfort in the eye. She watched as the realization hit him like a train, his smug expression shifting into one of regret and perpetual awkwardness.

"Holy shit," Ezra muttered. "Aria? I swear I didn't know that was you. If I had, I wouldn't have…"

"Tried to hit on me before your divorce is even close to being finalized?" Aria closed the book and stood up to appear more intimidating, though that was hard to do at only 5'2". "Real classy."

"Don't talk to me about classy," Ezra rolled his eyes. "You're the one openly reading porn in the middle of a bookstore." His retort was weak. Aria used it as ammo.

"I see you showered," She eyed his figure. "And changed clothes. Finally find somewhere to go after Nicole kicked you out?" She knew her blows were petty, but she didn't care. If he was going to keep popping up in her life, she was going to make him regret it. This was the third time in the past three days. It was almost like he was following her.

"Actually, yeah," Ezra rubbed the back of his neck. "I got a hotel room here in New Haven last night. It's cheaper than the ones in Rosewood."

"I'm surprised you're having money troubles," Aria let a thought she'd been having since their conversation yesterday slip from her mouth. What he had said about Nicole wanting all of his money hadn't made sense. He was a teacher. They didn't make an impressive amount of bank, she would know. Plus, if she remembered correctly, he had a pretty hefty inheritance. His grandfather on his father's side was extremely wealthy. When he passed, the money went to his only child, Ezra's father. And when Ezra's father passed unexpectedly when he was 17, that money was split between him and his brother. They were both supposedly set for a good chunk of their lives. How could he possibly be having financial trouble? "Don't you have a shit load of money on reserve for you?"

"That's what Nicole's after," Ezra mumbled. "The accounts are frozen right now. My lawyer suggested it. He said it was best if neither of us could touch it. Honestly, I think he's just screwing me over. So between that, my teacher's salary, and the lawyer fees, money is pretty tight for me."

"Well you had Nicole sign a prenup before you two got married, didn't you?" Aria knew the answer to this question. That's why she asked. She wanted to make Ezra feel and look like an idiot in front of her. It was juvenile. But it was also subtle revenge in a weird way for what had happened 8 years ago.

"No." His answer was barely a whisper.

Aria barked out a laugh, "Wow. You're so whipped by Nicole you let her talk you out of making her sign something incredibly important. Wow. Doesn't surprise me though. You've always been easily swayed by peer pressure." She smirked despite the fact that her jab at him had made her stomach twist itself into knots.

"As are you," Ezra snapped back, clearly irked by her claims.

Aria tightened her grip on the book in her hand. She hadn't been expecting that response. She'd forgotten how quick-witted Ezra was over the years. Just as she was about to respond with a counterattack, a tiny voice sounded behind her pulled her head back down to earth and reminded her that she was an adult and a mother, not some bored high school girl with nothing better to do than piss off her classmates. "Mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?" Aria softened her stance as she turned to face Sophie, who was holding three books in one hand and a bookmark in the other.

"Can I get all this?" She held up her things. "I can't choose between two of the books, but I want the other one for sure. And Mr. Eldridge showed me this cool bookmark."

"Uh, s-sure, honey," Aria stuttered. If it wasn't obvious enough to Ezra that Aria was having her own financial struggles by her second job at The Brew, she didn't want to make it even more obvious by denying her child what would only cost her $5 more.

Sophie's eyes lit up, then fluttered over to Ezra, who had yet to excuse himself from the conversation. "Is this Noel? I'm Sophie." The little girl walked forward and stuck out her hand to an obviously uncomfortable Ezra.

"Um, no, Soph," Aria wrapped her free hand around Sophie's shoulder and pulled her back slightly. "This is Ezra, an um, old friend of mine."

"Oh," Sophie frowned. "How come I've never met you? I've met all of my mom's friends. Well, except for Noel, but technically he's her _boy_ friend. They're going on a date tonight."

This is about the time in all conversations Sophie had with new people that she began to regret teaching her daughter social skills and good manners. God, that girl loved to make friends and reveal her mother's personal life in the mean time. The most recent friend Sophie had met of Aria's was Hanna Marin, who had been in town from New York for a week about a 3 months ago. Sophie introduced herself and then immediately told Hanna about the 'adult' book she'd found in Aria's room. Because she had been talking to Hanna, queen of all things inappropriate, she was able to just laugh it off, though the embarrassment still ran deep.

"Okay, Soph, that's enough," Aria laughed awkwardly and slipped the book she'd been holding back onto the shelf. "We should go."

"Uh, yeah," Ezra nodded in agreement as if he had any say in whether they stayed or left. "Nice to meet you, Sophie."

"You too," Sophie beamed as Aria began pulling her towards the check out counter, her blood boiling in her veins and stomach churning faster by the second.

Ezra had his chance to meet Sophie, to be a part of her life, 8 years ago, but he'd passed it up. It didn't seem right that he got to meet her now. She'd tried so hard to keep them away from one another and she'd succeeded for 8 whole years. But in an instant, all of her hard worked was swept away by her overly eager daughter who loved meeting new people. Sophie had just willing introduced herself to the man who had hurt her mother worse than anyone else had. And unfortunately, Aria had a horrible feeling that it wouldn't be the last time those two met face to face no matter how hard she tried to prevented it again. In a twisted way, it was fate.

 **A/N: So it's late Monday, but it's still Monday! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I know that Ezra's appearances in these chapters are still pretty short, but you have to give it time. I can say though, that the next '26' chapter, there will be a sufficient amount of Ezria, so it** ** _is_** **coming, haha. In the mean time, let me know your thoughts on the events in this chapter by reviewing. I didn't get a lot of reviews on the last chapter, which I guess is like a punishment for not updating quicker, but I updated on time this time, so please, please, please review! I'm sitting at 84 reviews right now. It'd be cool to reach 100 before I post the next chapter, which should be…Thursday or Friday. So let me know your thoughts, your predictions, your feelings! Thanks so much for reading.**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

_2003-2004_

It was cold. It was crowded. It was loud. It was New Years Eve at the Fitz's.

From the garage that was open to the neighborhood, boasting a pool table and ice chests full of beer, to the backyard promising a fire and s'mores, the Fitz's two story colonial was packed to the brim with friends and strangers all looking to end and start the year together. On this night there were no barriers. Everyone talked to everyone. Drinks were passed around, along with something else that Aria's young nose wasn't quite trained to recognize yet. Adults let their guards down and their children run wild. There was only one rule, and no, it was not to 'have fun.' If you attended the party and made it to midnight without passing out, either from exhaustion or alcohol, you had to be in or around the living room for the countdown to the new year. There was a joke, although Aria interpreted it more as a goal, that the "Happy New Year" emitted from the guests of the party should be loud enough for all of Rosewood to hear. Last year, they'd actually warranted a noise complaint from a couple a neighborhood over.

But despite the commotion around the house, neither Aria nor Ezra found themselves mixing in with the party scene. They were only 13, so there wasn't a whole lot to do other than watch their parents get drunk and make a s'more every half hour. For the most part, the 2 kids just holed up in Ezra's bedroom alone and ate sugar to keep themselves awake. This year, they were joined by a few friends from school whose parents were first-time Fitz party attendees. Poor things didn't know what to expect.

At 11:31 pm the last of the Haribo gummy bears that Ezra had smuggled from his kitchen were swallowed by Ezra's best guy friend, Hardy Adams. Aria watched it happen from her place on Ezra's bed, which was at the end and upside down, and mentally debated offering to get them more snacks. Ultimately, she decided against it because all the blood was beginning to rush to her head and she couldn't really feel her legs anymore. To the right of her, she heard Spencer Hastings sigh and assumed she'd just witnessed the same thing and had the same thoughts. But much like herself, Spencer did nothing.

A few long and silent seconds passed before the rumbling of someone's stomach drew a giggle from each of their tired bodies.

"Do you think we could get away with stealing a bowl of chips from downstairs?" Hardy asked while he licked his lips and leaned back onto his palms.

"Whatever we steal can't leave crumbs," Ezra announced for the umpteenth time that night. Technically, Ezra wasn't allowed to eat in his room. So far they'd smuggled marshmallows, fruit snacks, tiny Twix bars, and gummy bears in. But all were acceptable "crimes" because none of those things left behind any trace evidence.

"What about drinks? I'm so thirsty," Alison DiLaurentis whined as she inspected her appearance in the mirror that hung on the back of Ezra's closet door.

"Yeah, I could go for a beer right about now," Hardy joked. Everyone laughed quietly.

"I guess we could bring a couple of drinks up," Ezra shrugged. "Just don't spill."

"God, lighten up Ezra," Ali scoffed. "You're acting like you're 80. There are high school seniors smoking weed in your backyard and you're worried about spilling Coke in your bedroom? Ugh, if I knew hanging out in your bedroom was going to be such a snooze fest I would've dressed a little older and gotten high with the lacrosse team outside."

"You think they'd believe you were 18, Ali?" Spencer whispered, clearly awed and interested in her friend's claim.

"Honey, I've already kissed one of them before at a party my brother threw when my parents were out of town. You'd be surprised what a little makeup and a push-up bra can do," Ali pulled on her blonde curls and winked at the room.

Aria internally groaned. Of course Ali had already had her first kiss. And of course it was with a high school guy. She was bold, confident, and gorgeous. She could get whatever she wanted with the bat of her lashes. Usually, Aria admired that about Ali. In her mind, those qualities would get her far in life. Or at least…get her into parties when she was older and off the incessant watch of her parents. But tonight, instead of admiration, all Aria felt towards her friend was annoyance.

Sure, Aria was a little more introverted than Ali was, but she was still having a good time just hanging out in Ezra's room, eating snacks and talking. This was the type of fun Aria could easily get behind, so she wasn't too keen on Ali degrading it. But then again, maybe she was biased. Anything Aria did with Ezra was fun for her. Even if it was just reading books in the same space as one another. She just liked being around him.

"Okay, okay, fine," Ezra rolled his eyes, although Aria wasn't sure if it was because of what Ali had said or the fact that she was there at all. Despite her being Aria's friend, Ezra and Ali had never truly gotten along. Aria's mother said it was because they ran in different circles yet shared the same best friend: her. And because of that, it was like they were in a constant, unspoken battle for dominance. Aria wasn't sure if that was the case, but if it was, she was oddly flattered. "What does everyone want?"

"Beer," Hardy joked again. Everyone laughed again.

"Seriously dude," Ezra sighed. "We've got Coke, Dr. Pepper, Sprite…"

"You sound like a waiter," Ali laughed. "But I'm with Hardy. Beer."

"Ali, Ezra's not bringing you a beer," Aria grunted as she attempted to sit right-side-up again.

"Oh, come on. It's New Years Eve. All the adults are drunk. No one will notice," Ali pushed, walking over to the window and peering out over the backyard that was sitting under a cloud of fire and marijuana smoke. "Just one. We can all split it."

"I like that idea," Hardy reached his hand out to high five Ali, but received nothing more than an awkward glance in his direction from her. Aria felt her heart summersault from second hand embarrassment.

"No," Ezra shook his head. "We're 13. It's not even legal for us to do that for another 8 years."

"And it's not legal for those kids to be smoking pot either, but they're doing it and no one is saying anything," Ali pressed a firm finger against the window and cocked her head to one side. "It's just one drink. Split between the 5 of us and we won't even feel a buzz."

"Then why even do it?" Aria regained feeling in her legs and stood up so that she was towering over Alison, something she'd only be able to do for a few more months before everyone hit their growth spurts and left her behind.

"For fun," Ali smirked. "The adrenaline rush of getting it up here without some random sober adult catching you. That's the reason anyone does anything illegal. For the thrill."

"We should hang out more often," Hardy gaped unashamedly at Alison, earning himself yet another awkward glance, though this time, it was from all the girls in the room.

"Fine," Ezra clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "But if you want it, you go get it."

"No," Ali's eyes flickered between Ezra and Aria. "I _dare_ you to get it for us."

"We aren't playing truth or dare, Ali," Aria crossed her arms over her chest. She knew that this little battle didn't involve her directly, but since Ezra was involved, she felt the need to butt in because that's just what best friends did. They stood up for each other.

"We are now," Ali leaned against the wall. "And my first dare is that _Ezra_ go get the beer."

"You know that's not how the game works, right?" Aria narrowed her eyes. "He has to pick between…"

"I know how it works, I'm not stupid," Ali hissed. "But this is _my_ version of truth or dare. It's better and more fun. And it's about to get better." Once again, Alison's eyes flickered between Aria and Ezra. "My price has gone up. Two beers. Ezra gets one, you get the other."

"So this is basically a game of dare?" Aria clarified in a sarcastic manner.

"Well there's a game of truth. There should also be a game of dare," Ali explained while examining her nails.

"Why don't you just do it yourself?" Ezra cut back in. "You said that the adrenaline rush was the fun part. You won't get that by sitting in the room waiting for us to get back."

It was Ali's turn to roll her eyes at Ezra. "Hardy, what's the most dangerous, if-I-get-caught-I'm-grounded-for-life thing you've ever done?"

"Uh…probably when I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night to TP Mrs. Frank's house with Carter Reynolds and Jacob Thornton," Hardy smiled at the scandalous memory.

Aria's eyes widened, "That was you?"

Mrs. Frank lived 4 doors down from Aria and happened to be her 8th grade Pre-AP English teacher. She was probably the most hated teacher in the entire middle school. Her assignments were impossible and her grading was meticulous and strict. At times, she had made Aria wonder if English was even her favorite subject anymore. The answer was still yes, but Mrs. Frank sure made it hard to love.

After the TP'ing incident, Mrs. Frank gave her classes a 3-day lecture on destroying other people's property and then assigned a 5-page paper on "Doing the Right Thing and Standing Up to Peer Pressure." Aria got an A like she always did on anything she wrote, but that didn't mean she enjoyed the extra work.

"Besides the point," Ali held up her hand to halt any further conversation about Hardy's adventurous night. "Spencer, what about you?"

Spencer, who hadn't seemed to be paying attention to much of the conversation, looked up from her lap and blushed profusely. "I, uh, well, I may or may not have bribed Lucas Gottesman to rig the student council elections last year."

Aria raised her eyebrows, but said nothing. Truth be told, Aria didn't put it past Spencer to do something sneaky to get ahead in a competition. The Hastings' family was the most malicious and competitive family Aria had ever met. They did whatever it took to win. Even if that meant playing dirty. Now it made sense. How exactly did incoming 8th grader, Spencer Hastings, beat out incoming 9th grader, CeCe Drake, for Student Council vice president? Bribery. That was how.

"Now what about you 2?" Ali's lips twitched as if she were trying not to smile. "What's the worst thing you've ever done? Stay awake during nap time in pre-k?"

Aria and Ezra exchanged angered glances. Sure, they hadn't snuck out and defaced property or rigged an election in their favor, but they weren't total goody-two-shoes. They just liked to keep their risky escapades quiet.

"We once snuck out of my lake house to go swimming at night," Ezra offered.

"And when we were 9, we told our parents we were going to a friend's house, but rode out bikes to the Rosewood Lookout instead," Aria attempted to but failed at sounding reckless and cool.

"So nothing then?" Ali arched an eyebrow.

"Ali…" Ezra started.

"I'm doing this for the both of you," Ali placed her hand on over her heart as if she were sincerely trying to help them out rather than get under their skin. "You need to break the rules. _Really_ break them for once in your life. Once you start, it'll become easier and easier to do and you'll have way more fun. Maybe next year, you'll actually choose to do something exciting and risky instead of sit in this room all night and stare at the wall."

"I don't…" Aria shook her head.

"Come on. This isn't even a big deal. It's like a baby step towards having more fun in your lives. Just do it. You'll love it and become addicted and thank me later," Ali pressed her palms together as if she were in prayer. "Please."

"Just do it, man," Hardy nudged Ezra's leg.

"This is exactly what we had to write about in Mrs. Frank's class after you defaced her home," Ezra pointed out while glaring at Hardy, making Aria bury her face in her hands. He was trying to help their case, but all he did was worsen it. Ali thought they were lame for not having done anything wrong in their lives and here Ezra was, referencing a paper they wrote in school as a rebuttal, making them look even lamer.

"Jesus, Ezra," Ali threw her head back in frustration. "It is 11:42. We have to be in the living room welcoming in the New Year with our families and a ton of strangers in 18 minutes. You better not make me do that without a sip of Corona in my system and you _better not_ make me regret spending my night up here with you instead of in your backyard with people who don't have sticks up their butts."

"I'll do it." The words fell out of Aria's mouth before she could catch them. She wasn't sure why she agreed. Well, she was, she just wasn't sure why she'd _audibly_ agreed. Mentally she had agreed to do the deed because she was sick of hearing Ali rip on the time she'd spent with Ezra. Hanging out with him was never boring. But if they didn't do what she asked of them, Aria would never head the end of how boring New Years Eve was and how fun it could've been had Ezra acted like a teenager instead of a grandpa.

"What?" Ezra's mouth dropped open slightly.

"Yeah, let's just do it," Aria furiously nodded her opinion along despite desperately wanting to back track. "We've only got a few minutes till midnight. Let's just get it over with. Make Ali and Hardy happy."

"Um…" Ezra stuffed his hands in his pockets and let air escape through puffed out cheeks. After a moment of internal debate, Ezra began to nod as wildly as Aria had just been. "Okay, sure. Fine. Let's go."

Amidst the shock and frantic buzzing that began to consume her brain when Ezra had unexpectedly agreed, Aria heard the faint sound of Hardy imitating the noise a whip makes when it cracks against air. She knew what that meant and had she not been so nervous, she would've turned around and slapped him.

"Don't forget the bottle opener!" Ali winked just as the 2 unsure friends slipped out the door.

Line Break

"3…2…1! Happy New Year!"

The walls of the Fitz household vibrated as the crowd welcomed in 2004 with rigor. From her place on the balcony overlooking the living room, Aria tightened her grip on the handrail, briefly worried about the floor collapsing from under her. In the distance, she heard the pops of confetti cannons and the resonating boom of fireworks, signifying that the night that felt never ending was just getting started.

Aria let her eyes flutter shut for a moment. Normally she was a night owl, but being around so many people for so long had drained any energy she had put on reserve for that night. She was exhausted and the warm feeling that the few sips of beer that had settled in her stomach wasn't helping that fact. She had half a mind to ask Ezra if she could lock herself in his room and go to sleep. It wouldn't be the first time she'd pulled something like that. Although, with all the commotion going on in and around the house, she felt it was unlikely that she'd get sleep even in solitude.

"Aria." A sudden hand on her lower back forced Aria's eyes open. Ali stood to the side of her with an unfinished beer bottle tucked behind the fabric of her dress and one arm linked around an occupied Spencer. "Spence and I are going to go outside to talk to the lacrosse guys. Wanna come?"

Aria grimaced, unsure of how to answer. On one hand, she knew she should say yes. It was the only answer that would satisfy Alison, plus she'd probably wind up giving her number to a hot junior, which would earn her endless praise from her "popular" friend. On the other hand, Aria didn't want to flirt with a hot junior she'd just met. She wanted to hang out with Ezra and only Ezra. She'd never admit it out loud, but she wished her other friends hadn't come to the party. She enjoyed the New Years Eve tradition she and Ezra had started alone so many years ago.

"I'm going to take your hesitance as a no," Ali huffed.

"It's just…" Aria started without knowing where she was going with her excuse.

"It's just the only boy you care about is Ezra," Ali smirked.

"What are you getting at?" Aria could feel her heart beat in her ears.

"You like Ezra," Ali sighed. "It's not really a secret, nor is it a surprise. You 2 have been best friends since birth and you hang out together all the time. One of you was bound to catch feelings for the other sometime."

Aria bit down on the inside of her cheek. Ali was right. She'd had a thing for Ezra for a few years now. She found herself valuing their hugs more than she did when they were little. She caught herself staring at him from time to time and being overly invested in the things he would say during their conversations. Aria had thoughts of admiration whenever she noticed that Ezra was wearing a new shirt or got a hair cut. She'd even had a couple of dreams about him where they had kissed and woken up extremely disappointed. At this point, there was no denying how Aria felt about her best friend. She just hoped that if she never said it out loud, the feelings would go away.

"And I don't think the feelings are entirely one-sided," Ali lowered her voice and leaned in closer to Aria's ear. "I've seen the way he looks at you, especially when you're in a bikini. At the very least, he thinks you're hot."

"Ew, Ali. He does not," Aria blushed as she recalled the time she thought she caught Ezra staring at her chest while she was sunbathing at his lake house on the 4th of July last summer. Although back then, Aria convinced herself that he'd been staring past her, not at her. He did have on sunglasses after all. Who knew where he was really looking?

"One way to find out," Ali shrugged. "I have another dare for you."

Aria tensed.

"Ask him to give you a New Years kiss," Ali smiled slyly.

"No," Aria shook her head. "No way."

"What could go wrong?" Ali brought the Corona she'd been hiding to her lips and took a quick swig and then tilted the bottle towards Aria and raised her eyebrows. After taking a look around to make sure no one important was watching, Aria pressed the bottle to her lips and swallowed a gulp of the piss-flavored liquid. Along with never admitting her feelings for Ezra, Aria would also never admit that she enjoyed the minor rule breaking they'd done that night. Once again, Ali was right. It was slightly addicting. She'd definitely be doing more of this in the future.

"Best case scenario, he agrees and you 2 kiss," Ali slipped the bottle from Aria's hands and back out of sight. "Worst case scenario, he says no, you say you were just kidding, then you join Spence and I downstairs and we find you someone else to kiss tonight. And either way, at least you've got some liquid courage in you."

Aria let her eyes wonder from Ali's figure to Ezra's, which was leaned against the wall talking to Hardy and some older kid Aria didn't recognize.

"The kiss doesn't even have to mean anything," Ali urged. "Just tell him you want to have a New Years kiss like everyone else and you know him best."

"You don't have…" Aria stopped mid-sentence, partially because she new Ali did have a kiss lined up, she just didn't know with whom yet, and because she caught Ezra's eye as she spoke.

"Aria, can you come here?" Ezra beckoned her with a finger.

"Do it, do it, do it," Ali chanted as Aria moved past her and towards the person who emotionally confused her to no end.

"Yeah?" Aria nearly shouted to be heard over the uproar from downstairs.

"Uh, Hardy's going to go outside to uh, make some s'mores, so will you, uh, help me clean up my room? I know Ali teased me for being an 80-year-old man earlier, but if it isn't clean tomorrow, I'll be in trouble." Ezra's demeanor was awkward, even more so than usual. In a fleeting thought, Aria wondered if he and Hardy had been discussing what she and Alison just had.

"Sure," Aria shrugged, stuffing her hands in her back pockets to hide her shaking fingers.

Ezra nodded curtly before motioning her back into his bedroom and shutting the door behind them.

At a loss for what to do first, Aria walked straight to the furthest corner of the room and just stood there like a little kid in trouble. She watched as Ezra nervously rubbed the back of his neck and rocked back on his heels. She mentally noted that they'd never had a tenser and awkward encounter before and prayed that they never would again. Although if they kissed, things may only get weirder.

"So uh…"

"What…"

They started simultaneously.

"Sorry, ladies first," Ezra let out a breathy laugh, a sign he was uncomfortable.

"No, it's alright. Go ahead," Aria offered.

"Oh, okay," Ezra's eye widened. Clearly, he'd been hoping that etiquette would save him from asking the wrong questions. "I'm just going to be honest with you. Hardy just dared me to make you my New Years kiss."

Aria giggled. "Funny, Ali just dared me the same thing."

"Did she now?" Ezra's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

"How much do you want to bet they're in cahoots?" Aria twisted the fabric of her shirt in between her thumb and forefinger.

"But why though? Why do they want us to kiss?" Ezra took small steps forward, shrinking the gap between himself and Aria.

"I don't know," Aria lied. "Maybe because we're a guy and a girl and we're best friends? Stereotypically, we're supposed to like each other by now." She played off the turmoil she'd been feeling for the past couple of years as a joke. Maybe he would laugh. Maybe he was correct her.

"That's dumb," Ezra sighed.

"Yeah," Aria agreed as she tried to ignore the knives he'd just thrown into her heart.

"So what do you want to do?" Ezra inched closer once more.

"What do you mean?" Aria muttered.

"Do you want to make this a 'let's not and say we did' situation or do you actually want to kiss me?"

"Why would I want to kiss you?" Her question sounded a little harsher than she meant it to.

"I don't know," Ezra looked to his shoes. "For practice? Neither of us have kissed anyone before."

Aria pretended to mull it over. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to kiss him. There was no question about it. But did he really want to kiss her?

"I mean, I kind of want to kiss you…for practice," Ezra mumbled under his breath.

 _Well, that answers that question._ Aria thought. "Okay fine. Just a peck though." Aria settled on an answer. If Ezra did like her, but was pretending she didn't, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of a long, sensual make out session with her. And on a shallower level, Aria was just tired of being the only girl in her group of friends who hadn't kissed anyone yet. She was going to kiss Ezra, consequences be damned.

"Of course," Ezra agreed to her terms quickly. "So, uh…how do we…"

Aria had to bite her lip to keep from laughing as Ezra tried to figure out the best stance for their tiny peck and flailed his hands around as if he were trying to decided the best place to grab Aria during it.

"Do you wanna…should I…" Ezra scooted closer and tried his hands on a couple of different places. First her hips, then her shoulders, then one on her hip, the other on her shoulder. If anything, watching him try to make himself comfortable for something that may not even last a second was more awkward and uncomfortable than the thought of ruining their friendship with feelings.

Eventually, Aria became impatient. Although she'd literally dreamed about kissing Ezra, she just wanted to get it over with now that she was living in the moment. "Oh for God's sake." She clamped her hands down on Ezra's shoulders, puckered her lips, and leaned in, crashing his lips to hers.

It was barely a kiss. In fact, the second they pulled apart, Aria wondered if it had even happened at all. The only things that told her that it had were the stunned look on her best friend's face and the slight echo of the smack their mouths had made when they separated.

For a moment, the 2 just stared at each other, both confused about what that kiss had meant for them and suppressing the urge to lean back in a for a longer, real kiss. One that would leave the taste of the other's lips on theirs. One that they would feel for hours afterwards. But to play it safe, neither of them made a move.

Ezra cleared his throat first, breaking the silence. "Uh, happy New Year, Aria."

Aria nodded and stepped to the side, getting closer to the exit. "Yeah. Happy New Year to you too, Ez. I'll see you later."

"Later."

As Aria made her way down the hall and out to the backyard to meet up with Alison and Spencer, the scene around her head began to spin and an unwarranted smile crept on to her face. Despite repeating to herself over and over again that the kiss had meant nothing, Aria couldn't shake the inkling of suspicion that told her maybe it had. She tried to be logical. Ezra basically told her that he wasn't interested, but then again, she knew that boys never said what they meant when it came to their feelings. At least not at 13. And the kiss, short as it was, _was_ having this mind-numbing effect on her body that she hadn't been expecting. Surely a feeling so electric wasn't purely one-sided. He had to feel _something_ too, didn't he?

The backdoor squeaked as it opened, drawing the attention of those outside and most notably, Alison. She raised her eyebrows at Aria and smirked. Aria felt heat rise in her cheeks as she looked away.

At the same time, Aria felt something else rise within her. A feeling, deep down in the pit of her stomach. Hope, possibly? Hope that the kiss she and Ezra had just shared hadn't been nothing. She hoped that it had been so far from nothing that maybe, just maybe, years from now, she and Ezra would be something more than friends.

 **A/N: First of all, thank you guys so much for 100 reviews on this story! Each one makes me so happy and is extremely motivating, so from of the bottom of my heart, thank you and keep 'em coming.**

 **So past Ezria kissed! Figured I had to do something to make up for the lack of present Ezria, haha. Just a heads up though, the flashback chapters will start getting closer in time from here on out. No more jumping 2-3 years between childhood chapters. Most of the important stuff happens in their teen years, so now that we're here, time will pass slower. That also means we're getting closer to finding out what happened between them!**

 **Please let me know what you guys thought about this chapter in the reviews! I should upload the next chapter on Monday or Tuesday. And I can promise a lot more Ezria interaction in the '26' chapter this time. Things are going to start picking up pace.**

 **Once again, thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

_2016_

How the hell had she let this happen? Surely it was the alcohol she'd consumed that night that caused her to make this decision. Surely it was the adrenaline that had been pumping through her veins in the minutes after it had happened that had made her heart so kind. Surely it was the overwhelming sense of déjà vu that tricked her into thinking that this was okay, that this was normal. Surely there was some extravagant explanation as to why Aria Montgomery was now alone with Ezra Fitz in her apartment at 11:00 on a Wednesday night, putting sheets on a trundle bed for him while he stood by in the kitchen, sipping coffee from her #1 Teacher mug.

*Three Hours Earlier*

Aria hadn't been sitting down for 5 minutes before Noel Kahn's tongue was down her throat. She'd been surprised by his forwardness, seeing as how they'd never even so much as held hands in public, but she wasn't entirely put off by it. Noel was a phenomenal kisser. Things definitely could have been worse.

The couple had exchanged pleasantries when Aria had first arrived. An informal "hi, how are you" followed by praise on the other's appearance had sufficed as enough small talk. Aria donned the red dress she had promised Noel she would wear, along with heels that made her legs look a mile long. From the moment Noel saw her, he couldn't tear his eyes away. The dress was short, lace, and had a plunging neck line. It didn't leave much to the imagination. Although, Aria could practically see the wheels turning in Noel's head as he tried to conjure up what she looked like in the places the fabric did cover. It was flattering, though admittedly, a little unsettling. He'd seen her in this before, but hadn't seemed to take this much interest in her the last time.

The first time Noel kissed her that evening, Aria could tell that the beer sitting on the table was not the only thing he had had to drink. If her taste buds were correct, he'd also consumed at least one shot of tequila before her arrival. She didn't blame him though. He was probably just as nervous about this date as Aria was. It was their 6th time out together. Talk of making things official had been thrown around and avoided, but tonight, it felt inevitable. They would either leave as boyfriend/girlfriend or nothing at all. Aria was hoping for the former and she was sure Noel was too.

While Aria got situated in the booth Noel had gotten for them in the back corner of the dimly lit establishment, Noel slipped off to the bar to order Aria a drink. When he's asked what she wanted, she'd responded, "Surprise me." He came back with a Cuba Libre and a hopeful grin. However, before Aria had the chance to try it, Noel pressed his lips to hers and refused to stop. 15 minutes had passed since then and Aria was starting to think he'd just wasted $7.

For the millionth time since they started kissing, Aria moaned softly into Noel's mouth as she felt his hands slither over the curves of her body and settle on her thighs, pushing gently on the hem of her dress. His fingers dug into the soft skin as a response to her noise. With one hand, Aria clamped down on Noel's neck and pulled him closer, while she let the other rest tentatively on his jean clad knee. In the back of her mind she heard a little voice telling her to stop-they were in public and what the way they were kissing each other was meant to be kept behind closed doors. But she allowed those thoughts to be pushed down by images of what she thought Noel might look like naked…and on top of her. It had been so long since she'd had sex and this was the most action she'd gotten in months. She had no plans to stop any time soon.

Their lips danced and smacked against one another's loudly, distracting them from the sound of pool balls being hit and loud laughter from groups of kids Aria wasn't sure were old enough to legally be drinking.

"Mmm, Aria," Noel breathed, pulling his mouth from hers for a split second before reattaching it to the smooth skin of her neck.

"Huh," Aria sighed, arching her back and tilting her head to the side to give Noel the best access to her sweet spots, many of which she'd forgotten where they were located.

She reveled in the way his tongue and teeth worked on the column of her throat. He really knew what he was doing. God, he was heaven sent. It had been _years_ since someone had made Aria feel that good without taking her clothes off. She didn't want to get ahead of herself, but she couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe Noel was her replacement soul mate. Since Sophie's father, Aria's first real soul mate, was no longer in the picture, maybe the universe had sent her another in the form of Noel Kahn to make up for the loss of the first one. Wouldn't that be nice?

Her thoughts of forever were rudely interrupted by the feeling of Noel's hands slipping up her dress and fingering the elastic of her panties. In a knee-jerk reaction, Aria pulled her body away from her date so fast that she slammed her head into the wall behind her, however she felt no pain due to shock. She hadn't been expecting that. Not here, at least. Making out in public was one thing. Finger fucking her in public was another.

"Whoa, Noel," Aria pulled his hands out from between her legs and shook her head. "No."

Noel stared at her, confusion evident on his features. Clearly, he hadn't been anticipating that reaction. "What's wrong? I thought you were in to that?"

"I was," Aria offered a weak smile. "But not here. We're in public where anyone could see. I like to keep _that_ kind of thing private."

"Do you want to go back to my place then?" Noel scooted back slightly as if he were ready to take off at her word.

Aria narrowed her eyes. Truthfully, she did want to go home with him. She wanted to experience that euphoric feeling she got from an orgasm for the first time in too long. But she also wanted it to mean something. She didn't want to be a one and done type of girl to Noel. If they left right now, she could be. If he was willing to stay, to talk to her for the rest of the night, to work for her body, it meant he cared about her feelings and emotions. It meant he wanted it to mean something too. "Yes, but not right now. Can we…can we talk for a little bit first?"

She watched hesitation flash across Noel's eyes before he sighed in resignation. "Yeah, okay. That's fine. What do you want to talk about?"

Aria smiled. He cared. "Um…how was your week? Any crazy ER stories?"

As if Noel wasn't perfect enough in look and personality, he also had a huge heart. On their first date, he'd told her about how his passion for saving lives drove him to become an ER nurse. At first, Aria had been skeptical about his almost too perfectly crafted career story. It sounded like a typical story used for baiting women into sleeping with a man. But after a few hours with him, Aria decided that it hadn't been fabricated. He really was as selfless as he made himself sound.

"None that I can legally tell you," Noel laughed. "HIPPA would hunt me down."

"Oh come on," Aria urged, poking his knee gently. "I won't tell anyone you told me."

Noel smiled as he shook his head, "I wish I could. I'd love to tell you about the condom wrapped carrot I had the pleasure of pulling out of someone's ass on Monday morning."

"You're fucking with me. You did not," Aria's eyes were wide, displaying an equal level of disgust and intrigue behind them.

"I can't tell you!" Noel put his hands up in surrender. "I also can't tell you about the guy whose fiancé nearly bit his penis off giving him a blowjob."

"Holy shit," Aria scrunched up her nose at the image that just formed in her brain. "A carrot in the ass and a chewed up penis…they should do a 'Sex Sent Me to the ER' at your hospital."

"Oh no, the carrot one wasn't about sex," Noel corrected with an overly straight face.

Aria cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow, "It wasn't?" She honestly could not imagine what other reason a person would have to shove a vegetable up their butt than the logic, or lack thereof, of assuming they'd derive pleasure from it.

"No it totally was," Noel chuckled. "I'm just messing with you."

"I knew it," Aria stuck out her tongue. "God, what is wrong with people? That's seriously so gross."

"I guess some people get really bored in Rosewood," Noel shrugged. "I mean, haven't you?"

"Gotten bored? Of course," Aria nodded, picking up her drink for the first time that night and taking a long sip. It burned as it slid down her throat and sent a warmth throughout her body. She didn't drink hard liquor very often anymore, but when she did, she was reminded of how much she used to love it. The burning sensation and the almost instant buzz made her feel 16 again.

"You grew up here, didn't you?" Noel shifted so that his arm was resting on the booth and around Aria.

"Yep," Aria popped the 'p' then sighed.

"You grew up here, went to college here…have you just never wanted to leave?" Slowly, Noel's arm descended onto her shoulders, his fingers beginning to gently stroke her arm.

Aria laughed and leaned into his body slightly. "I was supposed to go to college in New York, you know, before I got pregnant with Sophie. I've wanted to live there my entire life. I thought I'd get my degree in journalism and work for the New York Times or at some big shot news station and live in a high rise apartment with my two Maltipoos, Jack and Rose. But a night I don't remember too well and one child later, it was way cheaper and easier to go to Hollis and stay in Rosewood than it would've been to try to live in New York. Maybe someday though. I don't want to stay in this town forever."

"Let me guess, Sophie's father got to live out his dreams and go to the college of his choice though, right?" Noel scoffed as if he knew the answer was yes.

Aria felt a twinge of something in her stomach. Guilt, maybe? Anger? She wasn't sure, so she brushed it off. "Uh, Matt actually stayed here. Well, I mean, not here here. He enlisted in the military and spent a great deal of time in Afghanistan before he um, died. He was good to Sophie. I couldn't complain."

"That's good, I guess. How long has he been gone?" Noel picked up his beer and took a large gulp.

"5 years." Aria followed Noel's lead and took another sip of her drink. "Sometimes it feels like longer. Other times it feels like I got the news yesterday."

"Wow," Noel nodded slowly. "I can't even imagine. I am so sorry. Does Sophie have a father figure in her life now? I mean, I've heard that's kind of important for a young girl to have."

"Yeah, my step-dad and brother are pretty involved in her life," Aria smiled slightly at the thought of the two best men in her life interacting with her daughter. "I'm lucky to have them so close."

"Sounds like it," Noel agreed. "Well, no pressure, but whenever you're ready to introduce us, I'd love to meet her."

A warmth different from the one the alcohol brought her spread throughout Aria's insides. She hadn't brought a single one of her dates home to meet her daughter, but there was such a sincerity about Noel that had her seriously reconsidering her reasons for keeping them at bay. He was right. It _was_ important for Sophie to have a good male role model in her life, and while her step-dad and Mike were great, maybe adding a third father figure would be beneficial. Sophie could learn a lot from him. He was kind, funny, intelligent, and he was a nurse, so having him around her chronically ill child could give them a sense of comfort they've never had before. Maybe it was time to test these uncharted water.

"I know she'd like that," Aria grinned. "And she'd like you, especially because her mommy does."

Noel laughed and kissed Aria's temple. "Good. I like her mommy too."

The two continued like that for the next hour, discussing their personal lives and cuddling and growing tipsier by the drink. Aria talked about growing up in Rosewood, although she consciously left out the biggest part of her childhood to avoid any awkward questions she wouldn't know how to sufficiently answer with a buzz. And Noel listened, occasionally butting in with his own stories, but mostly keeping quiet, letting Aria do the talking, and focusing on emptying his bottle.

When the conversation fell flat due to their inability to pronounce words without slurring them, they decided it was time to go home…and by home, they meant Noel's apartment.

"Hey, hold on," Aria slurred, gripping the table for balance as she stood up for the first time since she'd sat down. "I need to pee so bad. Let me go before we leave."

"I'll go with you," Noel suggested, offering his arm for Aria to take a hold of.

Aria giggled, "You can't go in to the women's bathroom."

"Let me at least walk you to the door so that you don't fall," Noel slurred, holding out the 'l' in 'fall' for an extra 3 seconds. "I want to make sure you're safe."

"Okay," Aria shrugged, hooking her arm on Noel's and starting towards the door with the skirted stick figure.

Completely sober, the walk to the bathroom would've taken about 5 seconds. A few drinks past tipsy, the trek took almost 15, mostly because the heels she'd worn for the aesthetic were not friendly to someone who couldn't walk totally straight.

Letting go of Noel, Aria found her balance on the door as she tried to push it open. But much to her dismay, it was locked. "Someone's in there," Aria pouted. "I can't wait. I have to pee so bad it hurts." The parts of her still clinging to sobriety knew that was a gross thing to say to her date, but there were too many other parts too far gone to feel shame.

Noel furrowed his brow, then stepped to the side, in front of the door with the skirt-less stick figure, and pushed it wide open. "Just go in here. It's empty."

Aria's eyes widened, "But that's the men's bathroom."

"No one's in here. It's fine," Noel stepped inside and offered his arm once again. "Come on. I'll stay in here with you so it won't be totally wrong."

"Uh okay," Aria giggled like a giddy school girl who wasn't used to breaking the rules or using a bathroom with a urinal, two things in which Aria had done while sober.

Noel closed the door behind Aria as she stumbled to the toilet in the corner. "Face the wall. Don't watch." Aria instructed. She waited until he had done as he was told before she hiked up her dress and sat down.

Once he heard the toilet flush, Noel turned back around. Aria smirked at him as she walked across the bathroom to the sink to wash her hands. He took that as a cue to meet her at the counter. After al the touching they'd done that night, 2 minutes was a long time to be without.

Aria watched in the mirror as Noel snaked his hands around her waist, brushing over her ass as they did so. He positioned himself behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder before turning his head and placing a few kisses on the side of her neck. Aria smiled at the image staring back at her. It appeared that he was as infatuated with her as she was with him.

He continued sucking on her neck as she turned off the water and shook her hands out over the sink. Aria made a move to reach for the paper towels, but was stopped by Noel's strong grip on her.

"Noel," Aria giggled. "Let go, I have to dry my hands."

"No," Noel muttered against her skin.

Figuring he was joking, Aria threw her head back onto his shoulder and laughed loudly. "Noel, really, come on."

"No," Noel repeated, this time taking one hand from her waist and bringing it up to massage her breast.

Her body went rigid at his abrupt change in pace. "Noel, I'm serious. Let go. We need to leave."

"Why?" Noel continued to squeeze her boob, unaware of Aria's sudden discomfort.

"So we can go back to your place?" Aria reached a still wet hand down to her hip and began trying to pry Noel's strong fingers from her body, but they wouldn't budge.

"Why do we need to do that? Let's just do it here?" His hips began to grind on Aria's ass, forcing her closer to the counter, limiting her movement and essentially, trapping her.

"I told you earlier, I prefer to do this kind of stuff in private," Aria whimpered as she tried to convince her brain to sober up so that she could regain control of the situation.

"Come on, babe," Noel nipped at the skin of her shoulder. "Be adventurous for once in your life, little miss I've-never-lived-outside-of-my-hometown."

Aria's lip quivered, "This isn't about being adventurous, Noel. It's about being uncomfortable. Please stop. I don't like this."

"What don't you like about it?" Noel purred, causing Aria's stomach to flip. "It's the same thing we would've done back at my place."

"Okay, well then I changed my mind. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to have sex tonight," Aria said with as much conviction as she could muster. It wasn't true. She was dying to get laid, but not like this. She wanted it to be on her terms, not anyone else's.

"It's too late to change your mind, bitch," Noel hissed, sliding his hand from her waist down to the hem of her dress. "You don't get to change your mind now."

Before Aria could respond, Noel yanked her dress over her hips, exposing her thong, and essentially her ass, to him. Tears welled up in her eyes and bile rose in her throat as a terrible sense of déjà vu washed over her. The taste of liquor on her lips, the trust she'd placed in a guy she didn't think would hurt her being broken in an instant, the discomfort, the terror.

"Noel, please stop." The first tear spilled over her ducts.

He didn't respond. She felt his hands leave her body to fiddle with his belt buckle, incidentally creating enough space between her body and his so that she could turn to look him in he eyes. But in her attempt to change up the situation, her ankle gave out and sent her crashing to the ground.

There was a loud thud as her skin slapped against the tile floor, followed by a curt laugh from Noel's throat. By the time Aria recovered from the shock and surge of pain in her foot, Noel had dropped his slacks and had lowered himself down to her level.

"Noel, please don't," Aria shook her head rapidly and began scooting back towards the wall in a desperate last attempt to get away.

"Shut the fuck up," Noel spat, inching closer.

As he got closer and closer to Aria's face, she felt her world collapsing in on itself. Her chest heaved and involuntary sobs escaped her lips. Her brain whirred, inducing a nauseating feeling in the pit of her stomach. This was not the man she thought she was dating. This was not how she thought the night was going to end. What had happened to the sweet, caring man who'd inquired about her daughter in the sincerest way anyone ever had? Had the alcohol done this or was that all just an act to get in her pants? God, if it was, he deserved an Oscar for his performance.

A hand that was much rougher than it had been before clamped down on her thigh and pulled her right leg away from her left, allowing just enough space for him in between them. Aria caught a glimpse of the tent growing in his boxers and felt goose bumps rise on her skin. Once again, she felt like she'd been here before, like this wasn't the first time this had happened.

"Stop. Don't do this. Stop. STOP," Aria screamed.

What happened next was a blur.

One second Noel was on top of her, the next he was across the room, lying on his back and holding his hand over his eye like he'd been hit. Later, Aria would learn that that was exactly what happened.

A man Aria recognized, but couldn't quite comprehend who it was, helped her up and shuffled her out of the bathroom. He sat her down in a more well lit area of the bar and got her a glass of water before calling a security guard over to their table and pointing him in the direction of the men's bathroom.

Aria watched as real police officers escorted a now black-eyed Noel out of the building before having to face one herself to recount the story.

"Please, do not hesitate to call if you need anything else," The police officer said, handing a still distraught Aria a card with her name and number on it.

"Thank you," Aria whispered, unable to look the woman in the eye. She felt dirty and unworthy of consideration. Though nothing had happened, Aria still felt like all of the event of that night were her fault. She felt like she could've prevented them. If only she hadn't led him on. If only she hadn't stopped to pee before they left. If only…

"And, I'm sorry but I didn't catch your name?" The officer turned to the man who hadn't left Aria's side since he discovered her in the bathroom.

"Ezra Fitz."

Aria's heart dropped. _No fucking way._

How the hell had she not recognized him? Was she that drunk? That traumatized? She'd spent 18 years of her life with that man, not to mention seeing him for the past 3 days in person. How did it not click with her? She'd thanked him. Let him hold her while she cried. Sat with him for an hour and listened to him fill in the parts of the evening she didn't quite understand. How had she been so blind?

When the officer walked away, Aria kept her eyes straight ahead, but addressed Ezra as if she were looking right at him. "Are you following me or something?"

"Of course not," Ezra leaned back in his chair. "But even if I was, aren't you glad I walked in to the bathroom when I did?"

"I'm more grateful that Noel forgot to lock the door," Aria muttered. "Anyone could've walked in."

"For God's sake, Aria,' Ezra rolled his eyes. "Can you not be civil with me for once? I just saved you from being raped in the bathroom at a bar and you're acting like I did you a disservice by even breathing the same air as you."

Aria sighed and closed her eyes. _Raped._ Now that was a word Aria hadn't heard in reference to herself in quite sometime. Her chest tightened. Ezra had _saved_ her from being raped. He had saved her from Noel and here she was, being a bitch and acting like it didn't matter. But it did. It mattered a whole lot.

She hadn't known who he was, but she thanked him. She thanked him because he rescued her. She'd cried onto his shoulder even though she thought he was a stranger. She'd cried because she was scared of Noel, but grateful for her knight in shining armor. She'd sat with him while she talked to the police and listened with admiration to him explain how he found them and how he'd fended Noel off. She hadn't known who he was, but he knew her. Ezra knew she was Aria and he'd helped her anyway. Honestly, she couldn't say she would've done the same for him, but now…now she would.

"You're right. I'm sorry." A fresh set of tears pooled in her eyes. "Thank you so much for what you did. I owe you more than just one civil conversation. Is there anything you need? Money for a hotel? A job referral? Someone to buy that laptop you wanted to sell? Anything you need, I'll do for you. Well, within reason."

*Present time*

The clock on the wall ticked to 11:01 pm, officially signifying 30 minutes of silence in Aria's apartment. She and Ezra hadn't said more than necessary once they arrived back at her place from the bar and Aria wasn't sure if that made things more or less awkward between them. However, she decided against trying to start any conversation in the event that it make things worse. She'd already accidentally offered him a place to stay for the night during one conversation with him. She didn't need to auction off anything else to his charity case with her word vomit.

At the bar, this had seemed like a good idea. He saved her from Noel, she gave him a place to stay for one night. Emphasis on _one_ night. But like a lot of mistakes Aria had made in her life, the idea had been way better in theory than in practice. Aria just hoped that Ezra was as uncomfortable as she was and would leave first thing in the morning. Although, his willingness to spend the night at her place made her think that maybe she was alone in the feeling.

"Okay, your, uh, bed is ready," Aria said as she threw the last of the spare pillows on top of the trundle. "It's not the most comfortable thing, so I apologize in advance."

"It's a place to sleep. It'll be fine," Ezra offered a small smile. "I can sleep pretty much anywhere, remember?"

She did. Ezra often got in trouble during school for falling asleep in class. And Aria couldn't even begin to count the times he'd fall asleep, head cocked at a weird angle, on an inner tube at his lake house.

"I think I'm gonna stay up and read for a bit, though," Ezra pulled a book out of the bag he'd had in the trunk of his car, ready to accompany him to wherever he slept next. Instantly, Aria recognized the cover due to the curly handwriting in the top right hand corner that defaced the original artwork. He was going to read 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban'…the same copy of it that she'd given him for his 9th birthday.

"That thing is still in tact?" Aria raised an eyebrow.

"The whole series is," Ezra shrugged. "Which is surprising considering I've read it 7 times over."

"Wow," Aria folded her arms across her chest, smiling slightly in spite of herself. However, when she caught her face betraying her, she forced herself to frown. "I should get to bed."

"Okay," Ezra nodded. "Goodnight, Aria."

"Goodnight, Ezra."

As soon as Aria shut herself behind her bedroom door, another powerful sense of déjà vu overcame her body, only this time it wasn't entirely negative. She recalled the last time she and Ezra had slept under the same roof. It had been 8 years and 1 month ago. They'd been discussing books before bed back then too, only the conversation hadn't ended so abruptly. When they decided that it was time to sleep, a door hadn't been between them. Nothing but the thin layer of their pajamas had separated their bodies. And after they had said their goodnights, they said their "I love you's."

 **A/N: Sorry for the delay, though. I knew where I wanted to take this chapter, but I had some serious writer's block. I feel like it's not totally up to par with the other chapters, but I hope that you still enjoyed it.**

 **Now that Ezria are civilly talking things are about to start heading in the right direction! I will tease that the next '26' chapter will be ENTIRELY Ezria, so get ready.**

 **As always, please review. I'd love to know your thoughts and feelings on this chapter. Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

_2004_

"Will you pass me the scissors, please?"

"They're literally right there."

"But you're closer."

"Oh my God, Aria. Here."

They were working on a biology project together. Well, Aria was working. Ezra was watching. They were also working on trying to ignore the blatant sexual tension that saturated the air. Both were leading to frustration.

The two sat on the floor in Aria's bedroom surrounded by construction paper, rubrics, glue sticks, pages of typed reports, and crumpled up, discarded drawings of Punnett squares and DNA, as well as constant reminders of the rather risqué things they had done on her bed only 2 weeks earlier. No, they hadn't had sex. At 14, neither of them were ready for that quite yet. They had, however, done _other_ things that they had yet to discuss due to both a lack of time together and the overall awkwardness surrounding the subject.

Questions burned in each of their brains, begging to be exchanged. Ezra was dying to know how Aria really felt. She'd kissed him first and she'd kissed him hard. She initiated almost every event of that family movie night that turned from G to PG-13 once the two were alone. She had smiled into their kisses, moaned into his mouth, and pushed him onto her bed. But when it was over, fear and something Ezra assumed to be regret flashed in her eyes. She blushed profusely and shooed him out of the room. Ever since then, Aria had had a hard time holding a conversation with him. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that they had been paired up for this project, Ezra wasn't sure he would've been seeing much of Aria outside of school at all.

Aria desperately wanted to know what they were. They certainly weren't best friends anymore. Best friends share secrets and take one another on vacations. Best friends _don't_ make out for an hour and touch each other in the most intimate of places. Those actions were reserved for lovers. But Aria and Ezra weren't lovers. They were 14…they couldn't be lovers. Could they? Did she want them to be? Did he? And if they weren't lovers, what were they? Best friends who occasionally dry humped each other? Friend with benefits? Just too horny for their own good? Aria wanted to know, but she was too afraid to ask. She was too afraid of getting an answer she didn't want.

"Wait, Ezra," Aria said, studying the piece of paper in her hand extra carefully so she didn't have to look at his face. "You wrote this wrong. If both parents carry the Cystic Fibrosis gene, their child has a 25% chance of actually having the disease and a 75% chance of not. You wrote it backwards."

Ezra furrowed his brow and frowned. Aria had caught several mistakes in his math already, something that made him self-conscious and, admittedly, a little angry. He was better at math and science than she was. She shouldn't have had to correct him this much. But he understood. Ezra knew he'd been more than a little distracted lately and he knew exactly why. His brain had been a bit preoccupied by thoughts of Aria rather than thoughts of a disease he'd been assigned to study. "Dammit. Okay, I'll redo that."

Ezra made a move to get up from the floor, but Aria caught his arm, holding him at ground level and trying to ignore the tiny spark her fingers felt upon touching his skin. "Wait until I finish reading over everything before you do just in case there are other things you need to fix. In the meantime, will you help me cut and glue on the stuff that is ready to be put on the trifold?"

"Sure," Ezra shrugged. "You can keep cutting and I'll glue them on once you're done. Is that pile next to your leg ready to be put on the board?" He pointed to the stack of paper, half of which he had typed up, half of which she had, that laid next to her exposed thigh, the same one that he had draped over his hip bone as they laid horizontal on her bed, kissing and panting, a few days ago.

"Uh," Aria check the space around her body before confirming Ezra's guess. "Yeah. I already cut the excess paper off the edges, so you can just place it on a piece of red, green, blue, or yellow construction paper and then paste that onto the board under the correct label. But keep track of how many of each color paper you use. We have 12 pieces of information, so there should only be 3 of each color on the board. Got it?"

Ezra nodded, biting the inside of his cheek to stifle a laugh. He had always known that Aria was slightly OCD when it came to projects and presentations, but he'd never really experienced it first hand. It was intimidating, but oddly adorable. She was tense, she was focused, she was determined. She was cute.

A thick silence fell over the two while they worked on their separate tasks. The shuffling of paper, the crunch of the scissors, and the static sound of Ezra rubbing his palms against the construction paper to make sure it stuck on the cardboard trifold sounded 10 times louder than it should've in the ears of the pair. It was a deafening reminder of what needed to be discussed, but what they continued to ignore it.

Aria kept her eyes concentrated on the words she was supposed to be reading, but couldn't block out the weight of Ezra's eyes on her whenever he would shift his gaze from his work to her body. Her skin felt hot. His stare did that to her now. He made her hot…in more places than she was willing to admit. And while she loved it, she hated it. She hated the feelings she had for him. She hated how their tight-knit friendship had blossomed into something more despite their every attempt to keep their feelings at bay. Their kiss on New Year's had been a mistake and so had every stare that lingered too long, touch that felt too good, and kiss that they didn't want to break after that. 

She knew what she was doing to him could be considered as leading him on. She initiated most of their kisses: the one on New Year's, the one in Paige McCullers' closet during a game of 7 minutes in Heaven last month, the one in her bedroom. And in some way, maybe she was. Despite her aversion to turning whatever they had into something real, Aria couldn't deny that she enjoyed the physical things they had done. She liked kissing him. She liked it a lot. It felt good. It turned her on. But it wasn't fair to Ezra and that's what she had to remember. That's what had caused her to keep him at arm's length since the incident in her room. She was all for kissing him with no strings attached, but she wasn't so sure that he would be as gung-ho for that. And so, she limited their time alone together. Had it not been for this project, Aria would've come up with some excuse to not hang out today, be it homework or plans she'd have to create with other friends.

A loud shuffling sound to her right caused Aria's ears to perk up. She tore her eyes from the same paper she'd been staring at, but not really reading, for the past few minutes just in time to see Ezra scooting across the floor to the spot next to her and making himself comfortable.

"What are you doing?" Aria pulled her knees up to her chest.

"I'm done," Ezra motioned to the board that suddenly wasn't barren anymore. "It doesn't take long to glue 5 pieces of paper to construction paper and then glue those to the board."

"Oh," was all Aria could say.

"What else do you want me to do? I could help you read what's left," Ezra reached for an untouched piece of paper, but was stopped by Aria's hand.

"No thanks. I've got it," Aria said as she gently pushed the stack under her thigh possessively. "How about you…read what's on the board back to me? Get in some practice presenting it." It was a stupid, menial thing to ask of him, but Aria figured I would get Ezra to move back away from her- to move to a place where she couldn't smell his skin or taste his breath.

"You got it, boss," Ezra sighed, pushing himself onto all 4's and crawling back to his original spot on the floor.

Aria rolled her eyes at his snarky comment as she set the paper she'd been holding back in the pile to give her attention to Ezra. Though she'd rather ignore him, she'd seen him give presentations in class before and he wasn't very good at it. Often times, he got nervous and tongue tied. And while Aria secretly thought it was adorable, 20% of their grade on this project came from the way they presented it to the class. Saying "um" or "like" too much or mispronouncing a word was a one-way ticket to getting a B. Aria had worked too hard on this to get a B. She wasn't going to let Ezra be the reason their project was considered mediocre by their teacher.

"Where do you want me to start?" Ezra asked while he inspected the board.

"Start with the definition of Cystic Fibrosis and work your way left to right," Aria suggested.

"Okay. Well, uh, according to Webster Dictionary, um, Cystic Fibrosis is a hereditary disease most common among white people that, um, appears usually in early childhood. Uh, it is inherited as an autosomal recessive trait that involves functional disorder of the exocrine glands and is marked especially by, uh, faulty digestion due to a deficiency in pancreatic enzymes, by difficulty breathing due to, um, mucus acc... accumulation in airways, and excessive loss of salt in the sweat."

"Okay stop," Aria held up her hand. "You said 'um' or 'uh' 5 times within the span of 2 sentences and you almost mispronounced 'accumulation'. You can't do that if you want an A," Aria critiqued.

Ezra huffed, "Cut me some slack. You're the one who wrote that so that was the 1st time I had ever looked at it."

Aria shook her head, "Ezra, I've seen you give presentations before. You do that all the time, even when you're reading from stuff that _you_ wrote."

"I get nervous," Ezra shrugged.

"Well don't," Aria said as if not getting nervous to talk in front of people could be cured by just being told not to do it. "You don't use that many fillers when you're talking to your friends, so just pretend you're talking to me."

"Honestly, Aria, that's a bad idea. _Talking_ to you hasn't been so easy these past couple of weeks," Ezra spat.

Aria felt her heart drop to her stomach. Ezra's mention of the tension that had been rising between them made what had been going on with them real. It was no longer just something she thought about and stressed over in her head. Now that Ezra had acknowledged that he felt it too, the silent war of hearts was given a voice. However, Aria was determined to shut it back up for as long as she could.

"Then pretend you're talking to Hardy," Aria waved her hand dismissively.

"Aria…"

"Okay next," Aria fixed her eyes on the trifold. "You wrote that one so try not to say 'uh' or anything like that."

Ezra stared at her for a moment before turning back to the board. Clearly, he was miffed by her forceful change in subject. He had thought that his comment would launch them into the conversation they needed to have. She made sure he was wrong.

"Alright. According to the CF Foundation, more than 30,000 people are living with Cystic Fibrosis in the United States and there are more than 70,000 cases worldwide. Approximately 1,000 new cases of CF are diagnosed each year. More than 75% of people with CF are diagnosed by the age of 2. And more than half of the CF population is now 18 or older." Ezra had talked slower than before, managing to get through his research without a single filler word, which earned him a small smile from his partner.

"Good, keep going," Aria encouraged.

Ezra shifted his eyes to the next paper. "Symptoms of CF include: salty-tasting skin, chronic cough, frequent lung infections including pneumonia or bronchitis, wheezing or shortness of breath, poor growth or weight gain in spite of good appetite…uh, dammit, sorry, uh. Fuck. Sorry." Ezra put his face in his hands to hide his embarrassment.

Aria giggled. "It's okay. Just don't say 'fuck' in front of our entire class if you mess up."

"Will do," Ezra snorted. "Okay, where what I? Oh, okay. Difficulty with bowel movements," he stopped to scrunch up his nose in disgust. "And male infertility. Damn, that last one sucks."

Aria rolled her eyes, but laughed despite herself. "People die from this and you think that the worst part is the fact that a guy can't reproduce?"

"No, that's not what I meant," Ezra backtracked. "But like…never mind. Moving on. The Defective Gene," Ezra announced the label of the next paper he was going to read in a very uppity and regal voice, causing them both to burst into laughter. "There are more than 1,800 known mutations of the CF gene. Most genetic tests only screen for the most common CF genes, therefore the results may indicate that a person who is indeed a carrier of the gene is not. It is important to get tested because 1 in 29 Caucasian-Americans carry the gene. 1 in 46 Hispanic-Americans carry it. 1 in 65 African-Americans carry it. And 1 in 90 Asian-Americans carry it."

"Do you know anyone with Cystic Fibrosis?" Aria asked out of curiosity in the silence that was created when as Ezra caught his breath before moving on to the final paper glued to the board.

He laughed, "Weirdly enough, I do."

"Who?"

"My dad's brother's son, Michael. My cousin," Ezra shrugged.

"And you didn't mention that when we got assigned to study this disease?" Aria arched an eyebrow. The teacher had offered an extra credit assignment that involved finding someone with the disease you'd been assigned and interviewing them. "Can we call him? Do an interview for the extra credit?"

"No," Ezra shook his head.

"No?"

"No," Ezra repeated. "My dad and his brother kind of had a falling out a while back. I haven't seen Michael since I was like 6 or 7. And last I heard, he wasn't doing too well. Apparently he got 'peer pressured'," Ezra put air quote around the last two words like he didn't believe them as he said them. "into smoking and well, when you already have shitty lungs it takes its toll on you pretty fast. Plus, if I remember correctly, Michael wasn't all that nice. I'm pretty sure he stole my Lego Warrior kit."

"Oh," Aria pouted. "That sucks."

"About the situation or about the fact that we can't get extra credit?" Ezra smirked.

"Both," Aria fibbed as she was definitely more upset about the extra credit. "So, wait, if your cousin has it, does that mean you might have the gene?"

"I guess so," Ezra popped his knuckles. "I never really thought about it, but yeah, I guess I could."

"Are you going to get tested?" Aria outstretched her legs and held her arms above her head. She'd been sitting for so long it was starting to hurt.

"Maybe," Ezra shrugged. "But I mean, as long as I don't marry someone with CF, it should be okay. If my wife is a carrier, there's only a 25% chance our kid would have it."

"That's still a big chance," Aria furrowed her brow.

"Are you going to get tested?" Ezra retorted, unsure of what else so say to take the spotlight off of himself.

"I might. I don't think my family has a history though," Aria picked at a loose string on the carpet. The truth was, she had never really asked _what_ ran in her family. She was too scared to know. A few women in her family had had breast cancer, but Aria liked to chalk that up as coincidence because she was too scared to admit that it might be genetic, and as a result, she had never asked about the possibility.

But breast cancer wasn't Cystic Fibrosis. No one in her family, that she-or anyone else in her immediate family- was aware of, had ever dealt with the horrible disease. So as far as she knew, she was safe.

"I'll get tested if you get tested," Ezra said. "When we're older of course," He added.

"How old are you talking?" Aria raised an eyebrow. She didn't have plans of sticking around Rosewood forever and she knew Ezra didn't either. From what she'd gathered from their many talks about the future, he wanted to live on the west coast, maybe attend UCLA or Stanford if he could get in. Aria liked the east coast, but wanted to get out of Pennsylvania. She'd always dreamed of living in New York. She wanted to attend NYU. If she got in, that would just jumpstart her big-city life and hopefully keep her there forever.

"I don't know. Maybe when we're old enough to start having kids," Ezra laid back on the floor and placed his hands behind his head, propping it up so he could look at her.

"I don't want kids until I'm at least out of college with a steady job. I kind of think 27/28 is a good age to start having kids. But by then, I'll be living in New York and you'll probably be in California or something," Aria tried to keep the sadness out of her voice as she said the last sentence. As much as she wanted to move away, she knew that by doing so, she'd be leaving Ezra. And as confused as she was about how she felt about him right now, he was still the one person she couldn't imagine living without. Maybe he wasn't meant to be her romantic soul mate, but he was her platonic one. Being nearly 3,000 miles away from Ezra was going to hurt no matter what.

"Then I guess I'll just have to fly over to New York when we're 27," Ezra laughed lightly before his expression changed into something more solemn. "If…you did have the gene…would you want to test your husband before you started having kids to see if he had it too?"

Aria bit her lip. She hadn't thought about it before, but honestly, it wasn't a bad idea. "Yeah, I think I would."

"So say, hypothetically, we got married," Ezra blushed at his own scenario. "and we both at the gene. Would the prevent you from wanting to have kids with me?"

Aria felt butterflies in her stomach. Unlike her own genetics, marrying Ezra was something Aria _had_ thought about before. It would be cliché, a classic movie trope, but it wasn't an impossible thought. Especially not with all of the feelings she'd been having towards him lately; not to mention all the kissing they'd been doing too. "Uh, I don't think so. I mean like you said, there's only a 25% chance of our kids actually getting the disease and while that's not a super small chance, it's not a huge one either. I think it'd be worth the risk."

"Yeah, me too," Ezra smiled softly, setting another set of butterflies loose in Aria's stomach.

The two stared at each other for a long moment, each one trying to read the other's face. This was the most they'd talked in 2 weeks and just like they'd feared, they'd revealed a little bit too much about what was on their minds. Though it was subtle, they both knew that "hypothetically" talking about getting married was a conversation with 2 meanings. By asking the question, Ezra was testing the waters. If Aria had dodged it, he would've figured that she considered what they'd done together a mistake. But by answering it, Aria let Ezra know that he…they…still had a chance to working things out.

With a sudden burst of courage, Ezra sat up and shuffled closer to Aria. He wasn't going to make a move, but he was going to talk and she was going to listen. Aria was slightly taken aback by his rapid movements, but remained stationary nonetheless. This needed to be done. As much as she didn't want to talk about it in fear of ruining their relationship, they needed to. It was the only way to make things semi-normal between them again. And Aria missed normal. She'd missed them.

"Aria, can we…"

A knock on her Aria's bedroom door interrupted Ezra mid-sentence and caused the 2 to scoot apart.

"Come in," Aria picked up a glue stick and uncapped it to appear like they'd been doing work the whole time.

Ella, Aria's mother, pushed the door open a little and stuck her head in the room, wearing the same warm, maternal smile she always did whenever Aria had guests over. "Sorry to interrupt, but dinner is ready. Ezra, you're more than welcome to stay."

"Oh, that's alright…" Ezra shook his head before being cut off by Aria.

"You should stay. That way when we're done eating we can come back up here and…finish putting it together." Silently, Aria cursed herself for hesitating. She wasn't sure if her mom had caught on to it or thought anything of it. If she did, Aria could reassure her that all she and Ezra were going to do after dinner was work on the project and _talk._ There would be no repeats of what happened 2 weeks ago, although her mother didn't exactly know about that.

"Uh, okay," Ezra swallowed nervously, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"Great," Ella cooed. "Now come downstairs and wash up, then I'll make you a plate. I hope you like lasagna."

In a stiff and awkward manner, both kids followed Ella downstairs attempting to shake off the numb, nervous feelings that had been running through their bodies for the past couple of minutes and each secretly praying that the courage they'd mustered to finally talk about the elephant in the room wouldn't dissipate between now and later. Because much like their friendship, both Aria and Ezra feared that once that courage was gone, they would never get it back.

 **A/N: I feel like I'm always apologizing for chapters taking awhile to be uploaded, but I'm going to say it again: sorry for the delay. I only have 2 more months in Houston with all of my friends before we all go our separate ways to college, so I've been trying to get out of my introverted ways and hang out with them a lot more. I am going to start working on the next chapter tonight, so that should be up by Sunday…Monday at the latest.**

 **I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. I want to give credit to Merriam-Webster and the CF Foundation websites for the information about Cystic Fibrosis. Despite having the disease myself and knowing most of it already, I needed to look up stats and definitions to make it seem like a real report. I also wanted to give y'all an insight to what Sophie was dealing with in the story.**

 **As always, thank you guys so much for reading! Please review to let me know your thoughts and predictions.**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

_2016_

Never had one night gone by so slowly. Aria had laid her head down on her pillow around 11:15 that night, expecting to pass out after the whirlwind of a night she had had. Physically, she was exhausted. Mentally, she was running a marathon. The events of her evening from Hell seemingly played out around her in a continuous loop, setting her body on edge and her emotions on high. She tossed and turned for what felt like 5 or 6 hours before finally forcing herself out of bed to retrieve the sleeping pills she kept in the kitchen for emergencies at only 1:58 am.

Aria hadn't forgotten about the man sleeping on the other side of her door, but still found herself wanting to jump out of her skin when she stepped over the threshold of her bedroom door into the living room- not because Ezra was there, but because Ezra was awake and standing upright in front of a shelf from Ikea that held all of her family photos. Her first instinct was to ask him what the hell he was doing. Her second was to keep her mouth shut and try to move about the apartment unnoticed. She went for the latter.

As quietly as she could, Aria padded from her door to the kitchen to locate her saving grace for the night. In her head, she knew where the pills _should_ be, but in reality, she had no idea where they were. Unlike most families, the Montgomery-Callahan's medicine cabinet wasn't filled solely with pain killers and Tums for the rare occasions when they got sick. Theirs was filled with enzymes, antibiotics, inhalers, cough syrup, decongestants, nasal sprays, vitamins A through K, essential oils, boxes of inhaled medication, and a couple of bottles of whatever Aria might need on a day to day basis. She once counted 30 bottles of prescription drugs all prescribed to her daughter that had been stuffed in that cabinet at one time. In a sea of Cystic Fibrosis, normal ailments took a backseat. Aria often found herself running out of typical over-the-counter drugs because she was too focused on making sure Sophie had everything _she_ needed. And if she hadn't run out of the medicine, she had for sure lost it behind the cluster of white cylinders on a single shelf.

The cabinet door popped as it opened, causing Aria to cringe and look back at Ezra too see if he turned his attention to her. He didn't. Instead, he kept his gaze locked on what Aria assumed was the picture of her and Sophie in front of Cinderella's Castle on spring break 2 years ago. Aria remembered working her ass off for a year and a half, working evenings at the coffee shop after a long day as a teacher just to earn extra money so that she could make one of her daughter's dreams come true. It had nearly killed her, but seeing the way Sophie's face lit up for the week they spent at The Happiest Place on Earth made it all worth while.

Feeling a slight pang of annoyance resonate through her body, Aria let out a loud huff and rolled her eyes before returning her attention to the cabinet. If her memory served her correctly, the bottle she was looking for had a red and blue label wrapped around it.

It took the rearranging of several drugs before Aria finally found what she was looking for hiding in the back corner of the cabinet behind a large thing of Flintstone vitamins. She popped the cap off and poured 2 capsules into her palm before tossing them into her mouth and swallowing them dry. It was a stupid and dangerous technique Aria had learned at a party back in high school and one she rarely used anymore, especially around Sophie. Aria feared that if her daughter saw her not using liquid to take a pill that she would try to play copy cat and do the same with hers. She was aware of the risks swallowing pills dry posed, but she was an adult and could handle herself. It was different when it came to her daughter.

After placing the pills back on the shelf and closing the cabinet door, Aria turned to return to her bedroom, determined not to make any pit stops on the way. And by pit stops, she meant that she was determined not to speak to Ezra between here and there. Unfortunately, he had other plans.

"Can't sleep?" Ezra asked as he inspected Aria and Matt's wedding photo.

Aria stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes. _Goddammit._ "No, not yet." Her voice was tense and tired. Even to a stranger, Aria would appear irritated. And seeing how Ezra was no stranger, he should've gotten that vibe too. At one point, he knew her better than anyone. However, judging by his current body language and aloof demeanor, he no longer understood his childhood best friend like before.

"Are you alright? Is it because of what happened tonight?" Slowly, Ezra turned to face her with genuine concern etched onto his features.

At this point 8 years ago, Aria would've broken down. She would've told him how scared she had been earlier and how grateful she was for him swooping in and saving her. She would have told him about how she can't stop imagining the scenario that would've unfolded had he not stepped in. She would've cried and he would've soothed her. Back then, all Ezra had to do was _pretend_ to care and Aria was putty in his hands. Now, Aria knew better. He'd fooled her once, but not twice.

"I'm fine." Aria's words were quick and staccato.

"Are you sure? Be…because I'm hear to listen if you need to talk about it. If I remember right, talking about things used to help you a lot," Ezra rubbed the back of his neck just like he always did when he got nervous.

"Used to being the key word," Aria hissed. "People change. I don't like _talking_ about it anymore. It doesn't help." That was a lie, but he didn't need to know that.

"Alright," Ezra shrugged, turning his attention back to the photos and expecting her to walk off. "Goodnight…again."

Aria nodded, knowing Ezra couldn't see her, and then turned to walk the short distance left to her room, happy to have put what she thought was an end to their conversation.

"Wait Aria," Ezra called and stuck out his palm as if it had the gravitational force to stop her.

"What?"

"Was this picture taken in Iceland?" Ezra pivoted his body so that Aria could see where his finger was pointing, though she knew that shelf so well she knew exactly which photo he was talking about.

She folded her arms over her chest and nodded once. "Yeah. Matt and I went there on our honey slash baby moon." A part of her wanted to add that they had had a great time and that the land was beautiful. She wanted to say she'd like to go back when she had enough money because they had to cut a lot of their excursions short due to her pregnancy fatigue. Though she was only a 3 months pregnant when they got married, the couple wasn't able to have their honeymoon until Aria was 6 months pregnant since they had to pay for the trip themselves. In hindsight, they should've just saved the money and put it towards Sophie's college or something. But they hadn't and she had great memories because of it. She wanted to tell him all of this, but she kept her lips sealed.

"I guess great minds think alike," Ezra smirked. "Nicole and I went to Iceland on our honeymoon as well."

 _So Iceland is the spot couples go if they want their marriages to be cut short. That'd be a great slogan for the country._ Aria thought bitterly. Had the 2 of them been on good terms, Aria would've said it out loud and Ezra probably would've laughed. "Cool," Aria said, her tone dripping with boredom and just a hint of sarcasm. "Can I go to bed now?"

"Not yet," Ezra shook his head. "I have some more questions. Sophie plays soccer?" Ezra pointed to a picture of Sophie in her soccer uniform that was taken last season by a professional photographer. Her jersey was royal blue, which brought out her eyes, and there was a soccer ball tucked under her right arm. In Aria's opinion, she looked very sporty and very adorable. In Sophie's opinion, she thought she had too many 'frizzies' in her hair and therefore looked bad. "How does she do with her lung issues? Can she keep up with the other kids? Is she good?"

If it was possible to spontaneously combust right then and there, Aria would've done it. She could practically feel the temperature rising in her body. Her blood was boiling. She hated the way her daughter's name sounded on his lips. She couldn't stand the tone of Ezra's voice as he inquired about the one subject he had no business sticking his nose in. Had it not been 2 am and had he not saved her from being attacked earlier, Aria might have kicked him out and asked him to find somewhere else to stay.

"Look Ezra," Aria gritted her teeth. "If you want to talk to me, okay fine, whatever. But there are some topics that are off limits to you. One of those topics is my daughter. The other is my marriage. Say one word about Sophie or Matt and we're done here. I will expect you to be gone by the time I wake up tomorrow. Follow the rules and maybe you'll get a breakfast before you leave. Got it?" She knew she sounded harsh, but she also knew she wasn't being unreasonable. She couldn't be after all of the things he'd done to her in the past.

"So you do want to talk?" Ezra arched an eyebrow.

"Ezra," Aria warned. Much like her inviting him to stay over, the invitation for conversation had just kind of slipped out. She could go back on her offer…or she could let his words bore her to sleep with talk of his divorce or the math class he teaches as Rosewood High. That might just work faster than the pills.

"I understand your rules," Ezra rolled his eyes. "Now, let's talk. Come sit." He fell back onto the trundle and gestured for her to join him, but she declined. Instead, Aria perched herself in the love seat, knees up to her chest like a bird.

"So tell me," Ezra started while he looked everywhere that wasn't at Aria. "What have you been doing for all of these years? Aside from raising…you know." His voice trailed off at the end.

Aria shivered. Once again, his question made her skin crawl, but not because he had alluded to Sophie. She actually wasn't sure exactly why; it just did. Maybe it was because there had been a time in her life where Ezra knew everything that was going on with her. He never had to ask what she was doing or what her plans were. He just knew. Or maybe it wasn't that deep. Maybe Ezra's words made her uneasy because of how deeply her dislike for him ran in her veins. "Why were you at Snooker's tonight?" Aria decided to ignore his question and counter with her own.

"I believe I asked you a question first," Ezra narrowed his eyes. By the tone in his voice, Aria could tell he wasn't frustrated, just confused.

"I don't care to answer that one. Will you answer mine?" Aria wrapped her arms around her legs and tucked her hands in the space between her heels and her upper thighs.

Ezra cocked his head to the side, licking his lips as he prepared to give her his answer. "I was supposed to meet a buddy of mine…do you remember Hardy?" Aria nodded and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Just because they'd stopped being friends didn't mean she'd forgotten their time together. Hardy had been in the picture a lot. More than Aria had really wanted him to be. "I was going to meet him there for a drink and he was going to let me crash on his couch for the night. Obviously, that didn't work out too well. While I ordering my first drink, I got a text that Hardy's fiancée's car broke down out in Philly while she was on her way out of town. Hardy had to go pick her up and bring her back to their house, therefore he had to cancel our guy's night and take back his couch offer. His fiancée's not too keen on sleepovers. So, I decided I'd head back to New Haven to get a motel room for another night after I finished my beer. Before leaving the bar, I stopped by the bathroom and well…you know what happened after that."

Aria cast her eyes on the cushion beneath her butt, silently wishing that she didn't know the ending to Ezra's story.

"So to debunk your accusation from earlier, no, I wasn't following you. It was just a coincidence that we were in the same place at the same time." The corner of Ezra's lip twitched like he was proud of himself for proving her wrong.

"Why were you at the bookstore this afternoon? 2 coincidences in 1 day seems unlikely," Aria challenged. Ezra was full of faults. If she kept prodding, she'd find one eventually.

"I like to read. New Haven has cheap books," Ezra shrugged. "Trust me, had I known you were in there, I would've waited 30 minutes or so until the coast was clear."

Aria shot him a bitchy smile as she racked her brain for another subject to throw his way. And once she found it, her smile morphed into a sly smirk."So why are you and Nicole getting divorced? What'd you do?"

Ezra sat up a little straighter and furrowed his brow, his eyes becoming glassy beneath hooded lids. "If you get to put boundaries on our conversation then so do I. What's going on between Nicole and me is off limits to you."

She'd hit a nerve, but didn't feel as satisfied as she thought she should've. In the smallest part of her heart, she felt bad. Divorce was a messy subject and it was something she knew all too well after witnessing both Ezra's parents and her own go through it as a child. And people didn't get divorced over nothing. They get divorced after years of tension or sudden betrayal. Either way, it wasn't pretty. Aria wasn't quite sure why she thought sticking a knife in his wound and twisting it would make her feel happy. Instead, it had just made her feel weird. "Right, sorry."

"Yeah," Ezra sighed. "So you teach elementary school? Do you like it?"

"It's not my dream job," Aria said a bit ruefully. "But I do enjoy myself. Do you…uh…do you like teaching high school? I thought you went to school to become and engineer, so when I found out you were working at Rosewood High I was shocked." _And extremely pissed off,_ she wanted to add.

"It's fine," Ezra shrugged. "It's money. And I did…go to school to become an engineer, but I, uh, I flunked out my freshman year."

Aria's eyes widened. "What? You're amazing at math. What happened?"

"I had…I had a lot on my mind that year. Especially my first semester. I couldn't focus and actually fell into a bit of a depression. At the end of the year, I left Stanford, but convinced my parents to let me stay in California and attend a community college there. They agreed to let me stay as long as I started seeing a therapist. I did and my grades improved tremendously, but I could never get back in to Stanford and you can't become an engineer at a community college. So I majored in the one thing I loved, math, and got my teaching degree. I like my job, but like you said, it's not my dream job." Ezra picked at a loose thread on his blanket as he spoke in an attempt to focus his mind and steady his voice.

A tiny voice in Aria's head told her to ask why he'd been depressed, but an even smaller one in her heart told her that she already knew the answer. That year was the first year they spent apart. It was the first year that they didn't talk. It was the year that they became strangers. And it was the year that Aria fell in love with someone that wasn't him.

"How's are your parents? Mike?" Ezra mustered a faux-cheerfulness into his voice.

"They're good. My mom got remarried and my step-dad is really sweet," Aria smiled to herself. "And Mike's doing well. He's getting his masters at UPenn and is supposed to graduate this December."

"What's his major?"

"Marketing."

"Nice," Ezra nodded to show his approval. "Anyone special in his life? I remember that he always used to have 'girlfriends' when we were younger." Ezra put quotations around 'girlfriends' because back then, a girlfriend to Mike was a girl who thought he was cute. "He was quite the lady killer."

Aria let out a real laugh for the first time in their conversation. Ezra's ears perked up. He hadn't heard that sound in years. "He actually does have a girlfriend. Her name in Mona. She's sweet, or at least she seems that way. I've only met her once even though they've been together for almost a year."

"Did they meet at school?"

"I think so," Aria said.

Again, Ezra nodded to show his approval of Mike's choices.

"How's Wes? Your mom and Bryce?" Aria stole Ezra's idea of asking about family due to a lack of ideas about what to ask next.

"Wes is doing well. He'll be a senior in high school this fall and is gunning to graduate top 10%. His dream school is the University of Boston, so he'll have to do better than just top 10 to get in there. But we'll see how that goes," Ezra let out a breathy laugh. "My mom and Bryce are still going strong. They're coming up on their…11-year anniversary. They've almost surpassed the length of time my mom and dad were married. Just a couple more years to go."

"That's great," Aria said as she bit her thumb nail.

A short silence settled over the 2 as they both searched their brains for a topic to discuss that wasn't off limits. However, that task proved to be more difficult than they thought. So much of Aria wanted to ask how Ezra and Nicole had met. She wanted to know if he'd purposefully married a woman who favored Aria. She wanted to ask what she was like, although in the middle of a divorce, Ezra's description of Nicole may not be so kind.

Ezra wanted to ask about Sophie. What kind of little girl was she? What did she like to do other than play soccer? How often did her disease get in the way of the things she wanted to do? How old was she when she learned to walk? Talk? Potty on her own? Did she have a lot of friends? Did she like school? Did she do well in school? What were her interests? The list could go on.

He also wanted to ask about Matt. Had he been a good husband? Had he been a good father? Did he know the truth that Ezra had speculated ever since he saw a picture of Sophie for the first time on Facebook 8 years ago? Did he ever wonder why that little girl had blue eyes despite the fact that neither his nor Aria's were that color? Did he ever question Aria about her teenage days of promiscuity?

"Ezra," Aria's voice cut through the air and snapped Ezra out of his trance.

Their eyes met and for a moment it appeared to the both of them that the other could see the thoughts that had been running through their heads. It may have been a trick of light, but Aria could've sworn she saw signs of aversion in his baby blues, while Ezra picked up hints of fear and discomfort in Aria's dilated pupils.

"I, um, I want to thank you again for what you did tonight. I don't know what would've happened had you not walked in. And…and having you here, well, I guess you were right. Talking still does help me, even if it's not about _that_ in particular. So…thank you," Aria offered him a small smile.

Ezra returned her gesture. "You're welcome. I made you a promise a long time ago that I would never let anything bad happen to you. I couldn't let you down tonight." He paused to rub the back of his neck. "Can I say something? It might be a little inappropriate, but I need to say it."

Aria's entire body went rigid at his words, but she gave him the go ahead anyway.

"I wish the circumstances had been different, but I'm glad you and I found ourselves in this situation tonight. I don't know how you feel, but it was nice to actually have a real, civil conversation with you after all these years. Maybe now we can…get to a place where we can stop walking around like we hate each other all the time. That's a lot of weight to carry around, a lot of tension. It'd be nice to be without that again."

"We aren't friends now, Ezra. You did me a favor so I returned it. But it doesn't mean…"

"I get that. But maybe now we can stop being enemies. I don't care if we go back to being strangers, I'm just tired of the cold glares and ducking around street corners whenever I see you walking my way. It's been 8 years. We need to let go and move on and maybe because of tonight, we can." Ezra stared Aria straight in the eyes as he spoke, although Aria would've preferred he's taken his earlier approach and looked at everything except her. It would've made her feel more in control of her decision. Right now, she felt like she had to say okay. But maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

Rather than responding verbally, Aria nodded curtly and let out in involuntary yawn. "I should get to bed. I can feel the pills kicking in." Her bones popped as she stretched out her legs and stood up, suddenly finding herself towering over Ezra and feeling a nice sense of dominance.

"Okay," Ezra sighed, lying back on the bed and letting his head bounce of the pillow when it hit. "Night, Aria."

"Night, Ezra."

The lamp in the living room flickered off just as Aria shut herself behind her bedroom door. Like the rest of her house now, her room was completely dark. She gave herself a second to adjust to the darkness before shuffling over to her bed and climbing back in.

A small part of Aria feared shutting her eyes again. She was scared of the images that might still be running behind her eyelids. Ones of Noel pushing her legs apart. Ones of the devilish glint in his eyes as he lowered his body onto hers. But once Aria finally found the courage to let her lids flutter shut, she saw a scene that she hadn't in years, and in a way, it scared her more than the ones of her almost rape.

 _She was 18, wearing shorts that were a little too short and an oversized t-shirt from NYU with fresh mascara stains on the collar._

 _Ezra was there too._

 _They were shouting at each other._

 _Too many years had passed for Aria to remember every single syllable that left their mouths, but there were certain phrases that still rang in her ears as if it had been yesterday._

 _"_ _Don't you dare drag me into this, Aria."_

 _"_ _Ezra, please. Please hear me out."_

 _"_ _You don't know anything. Stop acting like you do."_

 _"_ _I just have a feeling."_

 _"_ _You wouldn't have this problem if you could keep your legs together."_

 _"_ _Listen to me."_

 _"_ _Get out of my house and don't talk to me again."_

A few tears slipped out from beneath her lashes and fell onto her pillow. _This_ was why Aria had avoided Ezra for all of these years. Not because she absolutely hated him, though at times, she did. But because he triggered this memory. This memory that tore Aria apart. He'd made her feel worthless 8 years ago. And this memory made her feel that way all over again each time she thought about it.

Aria tried to convince herself that she wasn't worthless. She'd come up with a little mantra years ago to sooth her in times like this. Well she hadn't. Matt had. It went like this: _I have overcome a lot. I've had to grow up faster than most girls my age. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have a husband who loves me and together, we created a little girl who lights up the universe. I'm lucky. I'm loved. Everything will be okay._

But Aria couldn't repeat that mantra tonight because it was a lie, something she realized only a few months after Matt had passes away. It was lie because she _didn't_ have a husband anymore. It was a lie because she really _wasn't_ lucky. It was a lie because she and Matt hadn't created her little girl _together._ As much as she wished, there was just no shooting star powerful enough to make that last one true and that hurt her heart more than she would ever be able to express.

`Matt thought he had a daughter, a family. But he didn't. Sophie thought her father had died a hero in the war. But he hadn't. No, Sophie's real father was still very much alive…and he was sleeping on the other side of Aria's bedroom door.

 **A/N: Surprised? Not surprised? Either way, now you know that Sophie is 100% Ezra's daughter. And it seems like Ezra may not be totally oblivious to that fact either.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. As promised, it was full of Ezria. Obviously, the 2 are a long way from being the lovey-dovey Ezria we all know and love, but hopefully the flashback chapters where Ezria is slowly becoming a thing for the first time will tide you over until present day Ezria gets their shit together, haha.**

 **I'll try to upload the next chapter by Thursday or Friday. In the mean time, please let me know what you thought by reviewing. Can I get 15 reviews by the next time I post? That'd be cool.**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

_2004_

They hadn't kissed.

They hadn't hugged.

They hadn't so much as touched each other.

And they certainly hadn't talked about the times when they had in almost a month.

The opportunity presented to them to have a serious and mature discussion about their feelings and the fate of their friendship while they were working on their biology project together was quickly ripped away by Aria's intrusive mother and a delicious lasagna on the table downstairs. After that, all courage and will to talk about such a sticky subject was lost. And so, nearly a month had gone by where next to nothing had gotten better for the pair. In fact, if anyone were to ask Ezra about their current situation, he'd say that avoiding each other to avoid a conversation hadn't only stunted the improvement of their relationship, but had made it worse and led to intense tension and, surprisingly, a bit of heartache. But, maybe he'd only say that because because of _his_ _current_ situation.

The Christmas tree farm was teeming with high school aged kids celebrating their first night of their impending 2-week freedom. For the teens of Rosewood High, it was an unspoken tradition to attend the first night of the Winter Festival that conveniently coincided with their last day of school before winter break. Families with younger children usually waited to attend the festival until Saturday or Sunday when they were sure there would be little to no rowdy teenagers jumping off the hayrides or trying to push one another into the bonfire for fun, basically relinquishing the farm to the restless young adults that lived within the confines of the town. As a result, groups of freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors flocked to the acreage of trees with maps in their heads of the best make-out spots and water bottles full of vodka. The farm and their bodies looked like the hell the next morning, but man, was it fun while it lasted.

As 8th graders, the thought of being able to attend the festival's opening night the next year was almost more exciting than the thought of their first homecoming or their first experience under the Friday night lights. As 9th graders, talk about what goes down at the festival was a popular topic of conversation from the first day of school until the day it happened. It was so hyped up that Ezra thought he'd be enjoying every single moment of his evening. He'd followed every instruction from the upperclassmen. He'd gotten himself a decent sized group to go with. They had all pre-gamed a little before at Alison's new boyfriend, sophomore, Ian Thomas's, house. He'd bought the pass that allowed him unlimited access to all of the amenities. And he'd gotten in line for the hay ride that took them around the property as soon as he and his friend's had gotten there to avoid the long lines that would form later in the night. Ezra had done everything he had been told to do to ensure that he had a great time. However, 5 minutes into the hay ride he found himself wanting to go home.

He should've known that it was a mistake to have both Aria and Matt Callahan in his group. Aria had been a no-brainer addition to his group. Actually, she was just as much the found of the group as he was since she'd been there while he and Hardy discussed who to invite. And natural, due to Aria's involvement, she'd gotten all of her friends invited along. From there, their group only grew. Alison brought Ian. Spencer brought Toby Cavanaugh. Emily brought her friend, Maya. Hanna didn't bring anyone, but she didn't need to. She had her eyes on Hardy and he had his eyes on her. They'd be together by the end of the night.

Matt had been a last minute addition. According to Aria, he'd approached her during homeroom that morning and asked if she was going to the festival. Ezra figured his question was meant to be a way to ask her on a date, but Aria insisted he'd only asked because he wanted to group. To please Aria, he told her that Matt could tag along. But, at Alison's house he realized that he'd made the wrong decision.

Matt was glued to Aria's side all evening and not in the "you're my only friend here" kind of way. He was flirting. And much to Ezra's dismay, Aria was flirting right back. He watched them whisper to each other, playfully touch on one another, at one time, he watched as Aria took more than "just one sip" from Matt's cup and then as Matt put his lips on the exact same spot Aria's had been as he drank again.

Every once in awhile, Ezra caught Aria's eyes on him. She'd be staring for awhile, but then immediately look away when she got caught. Ezra should've found it flattering, but instead, he just got more frustrated. He knew what she was doing. She wanted him to watch her. She wanted him to see her interacting with Matt. Although, he wasn't sure if her intentions were to make him jealous or to send him a message that she was no longer in to him. Either way, it was cruel.

12 people were allowed on the hayride at one time. Ezra was in a group of 11 and since no one wanted to break off from their group and be the only one in an unfamiliar group of faces, the trailer pulled away from the loading station with just the 1 group of friends. It should've been great. It should've been a fun time filled with the obnoxious singing of Christmas carols and belly-aching laughter. For 10 of the friends it was. For 1, not so much.

Everyone had coupled off. Ali had abandoned her seat on the hay for a seat on Ian's lap. Spencer and Toby isolated themselves in the corner, their bodies facing each other and no one else. Hanna and Hardy had hit it off and were exchanging jokes with Emily and Maya who seemed a little too comfortable with one another to be _just_ friends. But then again, who was Ezra to judge? He and Aria were _just_ friends and he'd slipped his hands underneath her bra while she rubbed him through his jeans. However, he doubted that would ever happen again. Not with the way Aria was stroking Matt's arm and laughing at all of his unfunny monologues.

"Hey, I have an idea," Ali announced as the hay ride passed the 10-entrance maze and disappeared behind a row of Christmas trees. She waited until everyone stopped their conversations and looked at her before she continued. "Let's play Never Have I Ever."

"Now?" Spencer huffed. Clearly, she wasn't done ignoring everyone expect Toby and wanted to resume that as quickly as possible.

"No, next month. Yes, now," Ali rolled her eyes. "I'm bored and I'm not going to make out with Ian in front of all of you, so I have to find something to do."

"Thanks for the honesty, Ali," Aria scoffed, resting her hand on Matt's knee and infuriating Ezra.

"You're welcome. Hands up," Ali pulled her hands from Ian and held them palms out with all 10 fingers outstretched.

"This is a better drinking game," Hardy laughed. "We should've done this earlier."

"I'd love to get you drunk and watch you try to navigate that maze, which by the way, we're doing next," Hanna tapped Hardy on the nose, then turned to address the group.

"There's only 10 entrances. There's 11 of us," Ezra muttered, knowing full well that if someone sat out the maze, it'd be him. Every one else would advocate for their significant other. He'd have no one in his corner.

"Then someone will have to double up," Matt suggested, eyeing Aria as he did so.

Ezra had to fight the urge to groan and roll his eyes. He knew that the maze was a popular make out spot and that if Aria and Matt entered together, they may take hours to come back out.

"We'll figure that out later. Hands up," Ali demanded again. This time, everyone listened. "Okay, I'll go first. Never have I ever made out with someone that I claimed was just a friend."

Both Aria and Ezra paled. Ezra's eyes darted to Aria's, who were already looking at him, then to Ali, who interestingly enough had her eyes on Emily and Maya. He watched as the two girls put their fingers down hesitantly before he followed suit. When he glanced back at Aria, she too had put a finger down, but looked uncomfortable with her admission.

Next to her, Matt raised his eyebrows before narrowing his eyes and giving Ezra a once over. Suddenly, the atmosphere changed and Ezra knew that the jealousy he felt was now a 2-way street.

"My turn," Spencer piped up. "Never have I ever…had sex."

Ali and Ian put a finger down.

"Never have I ever dry humped someone while I kissed them," Hardy took over, throwing Aria and Ezra under the bus. Unlike Aria's friends, Hardy knew almost everything that had gone down between his best friend and that friend's dream girl.

Ali, Ian, Hanna, Aria, and Ezra put fingers down.

"Never have I ever smoked weed," Ezra said, hoping to get the conversation off of anything sex related.

Matt put a finger down along with Ian, Hardy, Maya, and Ali. Ezra looked to Aria for a reaction, but got nothing.

"Never have I ever touched a penis," Hanna shrugged.

"Specify," Spencer narrowed her eyes. "Like, does touching one through jeans count or do you mean skin on skin?"

Hanna tilted her head to the side as she weighted her options. "Um, I mean at all, so yeah, through jeans counts."

"Do you want to touch one?" Hardy crudely joked, causing everyone aside from Hanna to gag and moan out words of disapproval.

"Does it count if you've touched your own?" Toby laughed for the first time that night, shocking everyone.

"Sure," Hanna smirked, knowing she'd take almost all of her friends out with that rule.

Ali, Ian, Ezra, Matt, Toby, Hardy, Emily, and Aria put a finger down.

"Never have I ever gotten wasted," Aria interjected.

"Okay, that's a lie," Ali pointed an accusing finger towards Aria. "You've gotten drunk before."

"Drunk and wasted are 2 different things," Aria corrected.

"What's the difference?" Emily raised an eyebrow.

"I've never had a hangover and I've never been sloppy," Aria admitted.

Ezra almost objected, but decided it was better to keep his mouth shut. She'd gotten pretty sloppy with him in the closet at Paige McCullers's birthday a couple of months ago. They'd been playing 7-minutes in Heaven, but only about 4 of those minutes _were_ Heaven for Ezra. The other 3 were spent trying to convince Aria that she did _not_ want to show him her boobs and that she'd regret it when she was sober, then consoling her as she started to cry for acting stupid. Telling anyone that would've raised a few eyebrows, not to mention embarrass the hell out of Aria. That was definitely a secret best kept between the 2 of them, though Ezra wasn't sure Aria really remembered that part of the story anyway.

Ali, Ian. Emily, Maya, Hanna, Hardy, Spencer, and Matt put fingers down.

"Never have I ever had a wet dream about someone sitting on this hay ride right now," Maya smiled wickedly at Emily as she spoke.

Emily blushed and put a finger down, taking Aria and Spencer down with her.

Ezra's eyes widened, then narrowed instantly. Who was her dream about? Him or Matt? Honestly, it could go either way nowadays.

"Never have I ever cheated on a test," Toby said.

"Wow, lame," Ali rolled her eyes as she put down another finger. Matt, Ezra, Aria, Hanna, Emily, Maya, and Ian followed suit. "Awe, how cute. The couple that doesn't cheat together, stays together."

"That phrase could be taken 1 of 2 ways," Aria giggled.

"Oh, never have I ever cheated on _someone,"_ Matt jumped in. "Thanks for the idea Toby."

No one moved.

"You know that the point of the game is to get people out, right?" Hanna chided.

"I thought it was a good one," Aria defended Matt instantly.

"You would," Ali murmured just loud enough for Ezra to hear and make him laugh.

"Never have I ever…" Ian butt in to stop the bickering. "liked someone who didn't like me back."

For the second time that night, Aria and Ezra locked eyes. Neither of them really knew how to answer that question. Had they? Had they not?

Ezra watched Aria suck in her bottom lip as she contemplated her feelings before ultimately putting a finger down, leaving her with only 1 hand in the air. He narrowed his eyes, yet mimicked her motion. Around them, Emily, Spencer, Maya, Hanna, Hardy, and Matt put fingers down as well.

"Never had I ever kissed more than 1 guy," Emily said and down went Ali and Hanna's fingers.

With that, it was back to Ali. It only took 5 people after that to get her out. The hay ride ended before they could determine a winner, but they had narrowed it down to Spencer, Toby, Emily, and Matt. And by doing that, the group have friends had unintentionally exposed the more hidden parts of Aria and Ezra's friendship by tossing around phrases like, "Never have I ever kissed a close friend of mine, touched or had my boobs touched, made out on a bed, been dared to kiss someone and actually liked it, and harbored feelings for someone without ever saying anything." Though it was possible that no one else caught on, the 2 felt paranoid with each claim and their cheeks get red each time they had to put take away a finger.

Once off the hay ride, the group headed back to the 10-entrance maze, some hand in hand, others with arms brushing against one another, and Ezra keeping to himself in the back, wishing there was a way to access Myspace on his cell phone so that he could ignore his surroundings.

When they got to the entrance, they stopped and began to debate who should be the lucky ones that get paired to enter together.

"Emily and I could in together," Maya said.

"Or me and Ian."

"I'll go in with Hardy."

"Aria and I will go in together."

"What about me and Toby?"

Ezra stayed silent, having a preference, but not voicing it.

As he looked around, trying to avoid the skirmish going on in front of him, he accidentally caught Hardy's eyes, earning himself a smirk and nod from his guy best friend. Before he knew what was going on, Hardy began waving his arms and yelling for everyone to stop talking.

"Guys, listen," Hardy snaked his arm around Hanna's waist. "As much as we'd all love to go into that maze and get lost with our boyfriends and girlfriends, I don't think it'd be very efficient. Someone is bound to get frisky in that dark and secluded maze and seeing as how we all have to meet in the middle before we can find the exit, those of us who went in alone would be waiting for hours. Because of that, I think we should send 2 people who are just friends in together."

"So Maya and Emily?" Hanna asked.

Ali laughed, "Yeah, no."

Emily and Maya paled, but couldn't hide their small smiles.

"Spencer and Hardy?" Toby offered.

"No offense, but I'd rather go in alone than with Hardy," Spencer grimaced.

"You can't just say no offense and expect me to be okay with that comment," Hardy rolled his eyes. "But whatever, how about Aria and Ezra?"

"What?" The 2 said in unison.

So that's why Hardy had caught Ezra's eye. He was planning on suggesting this all along.

"Um, I'm pretty sure they aren't just friends." Once again, Ali called out the sexual tension she picked up on.

"What?" Matt raised an eyebrow and looked at Aria, who avoided eye contact.

"Nothing," Aria shook her head rapidly. "Ali, shut up. Ezra and I have grown up together. He's like my brother."

If words were weapons, hers would have killed Ezra on the spot. Those were the words no guy ever wanted to hear come from his crush's mouth. Even though Ezra at one time saw Aria as his sister, things had definitely changed. People didn't ache to kiss someone that they thought of as a sister. They didn't hover their finger over the send button and ultimately delete the message because they might overwhelm their sister with their feelings. They didn't get jealous of their sister-friend's new love interest. But Ezra had done all of those things when it came to Aria.

"So it's settled. Aria and Ezra will go in together. The rest of us will go alone," Hardy decided. "Let's go."

Unsure of how to interpret what had just gone down before them, the group turned awkwardly and dispersed to the separate entrances to the maze. On their way to the edge, Ezra caught Hardy's eye once again. He winked at Ezra and mouthed, "Good luck," before disappearing behind a tall hedge. It astounded Ezra how much faith Hardy had in Aria and Ezra working out as a couple despite what he had witnessed that evening…and the past few months. He knew things were tense between them. He knew what had gone down and what hadn't. He knew what words had been said and what words hadn't. He knew their communication skills sucked when it came to affairs of the heart. And he knew that Aria had her eye on Matt. Yet, for some reason, he still orchestrated their pairing up in one of the most intimate places at the festival. Rumor had it that at least one high school girl got pregnant in the maze each year. Ezra wasn't sure that was true, but it was a daunting thought as he walked towards the last entrance with Aria. He'd finally be alone with the girl he'd liked for months, maybe years now. This was his time to fix whatever was going on between them. If some guy could work up the courage to bone his girlfriend on the dirt path that anyone could walk down, surely he could work up the courage to tell Aria how he felt. This was his chance, but he wasn't so sure if he could take it.

There wasn't much light in the maze. Aside from the string on lights lining the ground and moonlight above, it was dark.

There wasn't much noise either. The hedges were just thick enough to where they were unable to hear footsteps on the other side and neither one had broken the sound barrier by saying anything either. A few steps and corners later, and Ezra was starting to regret Hardy's decision and consider himself a coward. Each time he opened his mouth, he watched a cloud of condensation form and disappear, then shut it again.

"Dammit," Aria whispered a few moments later when they came up on their 4th dead end in 2 minutes.

"Isn't there some trick to these mazes?" Ezra finally enable his vocal chords to make sound. "Like aren't you supposed to put your right hand on the wall and follow that around?"

"You have to do that from the start and I'm not walking back to the beginning just to do that. I don't think I could even find my way back," Aria let out a breathy laugh.

"We're bad at this," Ezra cracked a small smile.

"Maybe we should try to communicate a little more?" Aria asked a loaded question. Ezra bit the inside of his cheek to keep from scoffing. _Ain't that the truth,_ he thought.

"That'd probably solve all of our problems," Ezra stated as if he was just referring to the maze, but they both knew he meant so much more.

Aria sighed, her face briefly disappearing behind a cloud of her air and her body making a move to find another way to the center of the maze.

Ezra trudged behind her with thoughts of confrontation bouncing around in his brain but still being unable to find their way to his mouth.

A few more minutes of silence and dead ends passed before Aria triggered something that resembled courage in Ezra with one simple sentence. "I wonder how Matt is doing?"

Stopping dead in his tracks, Ezra gritted his teeth and cocked his head to the side. He'd been hit by a wave of courage; he wasn't about to let that pass without saying anything. "So I'm like your brother, huh?"

His question stopped Aria from walking any further and caused her to turn around, eyebrows knitted together. "What?"

"You told Matt that I was like your brother? I certainly hope you've never done the things we've done with Mike." His sentence came out a little hostile, but judging by the expression change in Aria's face from confused to hyper aware, he'd successfully provoked a conversation that might lead them to a resolution.

"Ezra, not now," Arai held out her hand for him to stop and closed her eyes, as if she were scolding a child who feared her tone of voice.

"Then when, Aria? We need to talk about it and this is the first time I've been alone with you in weeks."

"So you thought it was best to confront me in a maze? Did you and Hardy plan this?" Aria crossed her arms over her chest.

"Of course not. But since it worked out this way, let's take advantage of it, shall we?" Ezra challenged.

"No we _shall_ not. There's nothing to talk about." Her tone was shaky and her voice was weak. Even Aria couldn't seem to convince herself of that statement.

"So the kiss on New Year's, the time we made out in Paige McCullers's closet and you offered to show me your boons, the night we spent making out on your bed, the fact that you nearly got me off through my jeans, and that you let me feel your boobs underneath your bra…that's nothing? It sure as hell felt like something to me. What the hell are we doing, Aria? Because whatever it is, I'm tired of doing it. I'm tired of you kissing me and pushing me away. I'm tired of watching you flirt with other guys when we still have unresolved issues. And I'm tired of not having my best friend anymore. I hate avoiding you, so please, please talk to me," Ezra pleaded for his life. Now that he'd said it, he needed to hear a response. This couldn't be yet another thing they brushed under the rug.

Aria remained silent for longer than Ezra's liking, but by the way she was looking at him, he could tell she was formulating a response in her brain. When she finally did part her lips, she only spoke a few words. "I'm scared, Ezra."

"Of what?" He stepped forward and reached for her hands. When she didn't pull away, he took that as a sign to grab hold of them. Instantly, her fingers wrapped around his and clamed his nerves.

"Ruining our friendship," She whispered.

"I won't let that happen."

"You can't promise that. You never know what could happen. If we…if we broke up, we couldn't go back to being friends and I can't not have you in my life. I need you. You're my best friend. I can't lose what we have there."

Ezra had thought about that too. Breaks up are messy. They're nasty and unforgiving. It's hard to remain friends with an ex, let alone best friends. But for some reason, he felt like throwing caution to the wind when it came to Aria. He wanted something more. He wanted Aria and he wasn't going to let someone else get what he wanted.

"I understand," Ezra nodded. "But we aren't acting like best friends even now because of how we feel. I like you a lot, Aria and those feelings aren't just going to go away. I want to be with you on a deeper level. And if you're willing to try, I promise I'll do everything in my power not to hurt you. I want us to last too, Ar. But I also want to give _us_ a shot."

"I don't know," Aria looked to her feet, only to be coaxed back up by Ezra's fingers under her chin.

Slowly, to test the waters, Ezra leaned in. His lips ached to touch hers, but he didn't want to do anything that might scare her away. So he lingered just inches away from her face, praying that she'd close the gap and let him know what she wanted.

Aria's eyes flickered between his eyes and lips a few times before her body relaxed slightly and she gave in to Ezra's desires…and her own.

A spark ignited in Ezra's body and he moved his hands from hers, wrapping one around her lower back and moving the other to cradle her head. Her hands found their way around the back of his neck as she leaned in and kissed back with all of her might. She may not have verbalized her wants, but Ezra could tell by the power of her kiss that she wanted them to work just as badly as he did.

Their lips smacked together and their tongues darted in and out of one another's mouths, getting a feel for and taste of the other. Soft moans escaped Aria's lips and resonated in Ezra's throat, pulling a few moans out of him as well. It felt good. It felt right. Just like it always had. Suddenly, their mission of finding their way out of the maze was forgotten and they became the couple Hardy had warned against. The ones who held up the group. The ones who kissed for hours. But they didn't care. They'd kiss for days if they could because neither of them wanted the electricity running through their bodies to die down. Neither of them were ready for the pulling in their stomachs to dissipate. And more importantly, neither of them were ready for the conversation that would have to resume once they broke apart. This kiss sealed the deal. They wanted to be more than friends. But in a situation like theirs, that didn't come without a lot of long talks and empty promises.

That night something in the air changed. It became heavier. It became lighter. It was easier for them to breathe, but they both felt like they were choking. It felt warm, but there was still a chill. There were fireworks, yet the sky was silent. The 2 new love birds attributed the mix of feelings surrounding them to the fact that entering a relationship was beautiful and scary all the same. It was comforting, yet terrifying. But they liked it. They couldn't hate it. And one day, they were sure they'd grow to love it.

However, the thoughts that didn't cross their minds were the ones that should've. The paradoxes they felt should've acted as warning. Just as there is always darkness before the dawn, there is only so little time before the darkness consumes the light once again. Unbeknownst to the 2 of them, the moment they started kissing they set off a countdown to the disappearing of the sun. In just 4 years, they'd be faced with the biggest darkness they'd ever come to know. Each other.

 **A/N: Thank y'all so much for all of the reviews on the last chapter! Y'all are awesome.**

 **So, teenaged Ezria finally gave in to their feelings. Yay! I wrote this chapter from Ezra's POV because I felt that this particular memory would be better portrayed through his eyes rather than Aria's. I hope y'all enjoyed this little variation.**

 **Next chapter they'll be 26 again and once again, it'll be full of Ezria…and maybe a little someone else too. Any guesses?**

 **I plan to update on Sunday. Please review between now and then and let me know your thoughts. Hitting 180 reviews would by my next update would be cool. So please, don't be shy and let me know what you think.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

_2016_

Aria had only been asleep for what felt like 5 minutes before she was rudely awakened by the sound of a fist repeatedly pounding on her bedroom door. Fueled by a burst of frustration, annoyance, and a bit of adrenaline from the heart attack she'd just been given, she threw her comforter off of her body, marched to the door, opened it, and had to duck to avoid being hit in the face by Ezra's frantic hand movement.

"What the fuck do you want?" Aria wasn't a morning person. It took everything in her not to say those same words to her daughter whenever she decided that 6 am was the perfect time to start the day. "It's 8 am. Please go back to bed or get out of my apartment, but for the love of God don't involve me in whatever you do."

Ezra said nothing. Instead, he just stepped to the side, giving Aria a full view of the living room, and let the reason for his actions speak for itself…or rather, herself.

A little girl with Aria's face and Ezra's eyes sat on the very chair her mother had last night, still in her pajamas and taking a couple puffs of her inhaler. Aria's facial features did an entire ballet of emotions before it settled on displaying complete shock. Slowly, she inched past Ezra and over to her daughter. The way she moved reminded Ezra of someone who wasn't sure if what they were seeing was real or not. Aria almost looked afraid to find out if Sophie was really sitting in the living room or if it was just a trick of light. But Ezra didn't blame her. He'd had the same reaction when he opened the front door after 3 minutes of constant knocking- and honestly, he figured Sophie felt the same way too. She'd expected her mother to answer the door, not a man whom she'd only met once. And the woman dropping her off _certainly_ hadn't been expecting Ezra to be behind the door. He had to answer a multitude of questions and endure accusing glares from the woman before she finally turned Sophie over and walked away. The whole ordeal had been awkward and Ezra had a feeling it wasn't going to get any better from here.

"Soph, what…what are you doing home? I thought I wasn't supposed to pick you up from Katie's until this afternoon?" Aria placed her hand on the little girl's shoulder to make sure she was really there as she took a seat on the trundle where Ezra had spent his night. The agreement she'd made with Katie's mom to pick Sophie up later in the day had been made for one reason and one reason only at the time. Aria had planned on going home with Noel and didn't want to have to leave first thing in the morning like she'd just had a cheap one-night stand. When the circumstances changed, Aria had been banking on the later pick up time so that she would have time to get Ezra out of the house and put away all evidence that anyone had been there at all. But nothing had gone as planned within the last 24 hours, so why on earth would anything start going right now? That'd be ludicrous.

"I forgot my inhaler and needed it this morning so Mrs. Watson brought me home," Sophie shook the small red inhaler before taking another puff and holding her breath. When she let it out she whispered, "Mom, why is that man here? I thought you went out with Noel last night."

Aria let out a breathy chuckle, "I did. But, um, things didn't go too well and Ezra here helped me get out of the situation. He did me a favor, so I thought I'd return it. He needed a place to stay for the night, so I offered him the trundle. But, he's about to leave, isn't that right Ezra?"

Sophie turned and looked at the tired man who was looking at Aria through squinted eyes. He bit his lip, his eyes flickering over to Sophie and then back to Aria before he spoke. "I believe you offered a breakfast last night." There was an undertone in his voice that told Aria that he knew exactly what he was doing by stating that sentence.

"Ezra," Aria warned.

Sophie turned back to her mother with wide, doe eyes, "Can he stay for breakfast? Please? I don't know him and I know all of your friends. C'mon, please."

Just like she had back at the bookstore, Aria once again found herself resenting her child's outgoing and extroverted attitude. Sophie was all for making friends, especially when it came to making friends with _Aria's_ friends. Growing up going in and out of hospitals where she was surrounded by nothing but adults, Sophie had more experience than most kids at holding rather mature conversations with people 3 times her age or older. That particular trait of the little girl's was a blessing during their long days spent at the doctor's office or even when Sophie had to tag along to one of Aria's lunch dates. However, in this situation, Sophie's ability to eagerly and easily befriend adults was a curse.

"I think Ezra has somewhere to be, so he can't stay," Aria trained her eyes on Ezra, giving him a look that warned him to agree or else.

"I'm kind of homeless and not working because it's summer. I have absolutely no where to be," Ezra smirked. Aria clenched her fists and tried not to lunge for his throat. That was not what she wanted to hear.

"You're homeless?" Sophie widened her eyes at Ezra. "You don't look like a hobo." She turned back to Aria, "We have to let him stay for breakfast. He doesn't have anywhere to go. Please mommy? It's the right thing to do."

Aria bit down on the inside of her cheek and suppressed the urge to bark out a bitter laugh. If only Sophie knew how against 'doing the right thing' Ezra was, she wouldn't be offering to help. If only she knew who that man really was to her and why exactly he wasn't in her life. If only she knew…but she didn't and Aria planned to keep it that way. And part of that plan included limiting the 2's interaction with one another. This breakfast between the broken family would only happen over Aria's dead body.

"Ezra, a word? In my room now," Aria put on her best authoritative 'mom' voice in hopes that it would intimidate Ezra just as much as it intimidated Sophie at times. If she had to, she'd count to 3 on his ass and then put him in time out…outside, in his car, away from them.

The 2 adults swiftly disappeared behind Aria's bedroom door, leaving 1 very confused kid in the living room to wonder what was about to go down between her mother and her 'friend.' As soon as the door shut, a tension all too familiar filled the room and silently suffocated the both of them. Sparks of light and sound flashed in the back of Aria's brain like the Northern Lights, reminding her of just where she'd felt this level of discomfort before. Her bedroom, working on a biology project when they were 14-how ironic it was now that that project had been about CF. The first few minutes they spent in the maze at the Christmas tree farm that same year. The moments right before they took their relationship to the most intimate level when they were 17. The moments right after Ezra asked Aria to give him space after she'd hurt him in the worst way. Standing in his foyer and telling him the 2 words no guy wants to hear just as they're about to leave for college: "I'm pregnant."

Aria felt bile rise in her throat, but she pushed it down. This tension had nothing to do with the past and everything to do with the present. Ezra wasn't staying for breakfast and more importantly, he wasn't going to befriend her daughter…their daughter.

"You're not staying," Aria crossed her arms over her chest and sank in to one hip as she spoke.

"You offered breakfast yesterday. You're just going to go back on that offer?" Ezra mimicked her body language and raised an eyebrow.

"I said 'maybe' yesterday," Aria spat. "Besides, I think you should just be grateful that I saved you money by allowing you to stay here last night."

"And you should be grateful that I stopped Noel from hurting you."

"I am," Aria nodded vigorously. "But just because you did the right thing one time doesn't mean you're entitled to any compensation for it."

"Would it really kill you to let me stay? I really enjoyed our conversation last night and would like to end this experience on a civil and positive note. I could even cook breakfast if you'd like. I make a really good omelet. Does Sophie like omelets?" Ezra rubbed the back of his neck, but not because he was nervous. Yes, it was his nervous habit, but Aria had learned a long time ago that he also did that to occupy his hands when he didn't know what else to do with them. He'd done it a lot whenever the 2 of them were together and still keeping their relationship from their parents. Instead of holding her hand or rubbing her back, Ezra would touch his neck awkwardly to avoid accidentally touching her. But was that really what was going on here? Aria wasn't sure.

"Why do you want to stay so bad? There's an IHOP like 5 minutes from here. I'll give you money for a stack of pancakes if you want," Aria walked over to her purse that was on her nightstand and pulled out her wallet as she made the empty offer.

"Why are you trying to get rid of me so bad?" Ezra countered. Aria froze. "What's the big deal about me having breakfast with you and Sophie? I don't see a problem with it at all. But if there's something you'd like me to know about the situation that might change my mind, feel free to tell me now and I'll leave."

Aria narrowed her eyes as she tried her best to read Ezra's poker face. His words were haunting, almost like he knew more than he'd previously led on about the small girl in the living room. But that wasn't possible. Was it? Even if it was, why would he care now? He'd missed out on the past 8 years of her life and not once did her ever try to reach out. Not that it would've mattered if he did. Aria dismissed Ezra's right to see his child the same minute that he did. He chose to walk out, but he wouldn't be choosing to walk back in. That was up to Aria and just like always, her answer was no.

"Look, Ezra…" Aria sighed, hoping her concern wasn't displayed in her eyes. "Sophie likes all of my friends. She gets attached easily, especially to my male friends, and I attribute that to the fact that she lost _her father_ at such a young age." Sometimes Aria had a hard time remembering that calling Matt Sophie's father was a lie. It felt more natural and it sure as hell felt a lot more comforting than the truth. "She's unconsciously seeking a father figure and I don't want her to get attached to you because, well to be honest, she probably won't see you again after today."

"Why not?"

"It's like you said last night, after this time we've spent together we can finally stop being enemies, but we certainly won't go back to being friends. That'll probably never happen. I mean, I don't know about you, but I wasn't going to call you to set up a lunch anytime soon." She giggled to diffuse the harshness of her words.

Ezra shook his head, "No, no I didn't expect that, nor did I want it. It's just…I see Sophie all over you Facebook and I've always kind of wondered what she was like. Is she like you when we were younger? Is she more like m…Matt? Aria, I know we aren't friends now, but we were a long time ago. We were friends when you got pregnant with her. I guess talking to her for a little bit would be like closure to the messy ending we had. I mean, after all, she was kind of the catalyst for what happened between us."

"All the more reason you shouldn't talk to her," Aria hissed. She wasn't angry so much as defensive at the moment. She wanted to protect Sophie, not necessarily hurt Ezra. But in order to protect her, she had to set some boundaries.

Ezra was silent for a moment. His lips twitched from side to side as the wheels in his head visibly turned, searching for a sufficient reply. When he found it, he sighed, "Can I…can I at least keep her entertained while you cook her something to eat?"

"She can keep herself entertained. Ella gave her an IPad for Christmas."

"Aria, please. I'm asking you to meet me halfway," Ezra pleaded.

"And I'm asking you why I need to?" Aria threw her hands in the air in frustration.

"I already told you. For closure," Ezra shrugged.

"Closure doesn't exist. Not in a situation like ours," Aria huffed. "And even if it did, why now? You've had 8 years to get that so-called closure."

"You wouldn't let me near you with a 10-foot pole!" Ezra exclaimed. "And yeah, I'll admit that I didn't want to be around you either for awhile. But by the time I finally thought I could let all of that anger go, I found someone else to get angry at and I've spent a great deal of time being angry at her. You've gone through a lot with Sophie, I know that. But don't think I've just been sitting around doing nothing for the past 8 years. I have a life and I've been through some shit too."

"You're talking about Nicole?" Aria clarified. Ezra nodded. "How long have things been going downhill for the 2 of you?" Her sudden change of subject was both out of genuine curiosity and a ploy to get Ezra to forget about Sophie.

"Doesn't matter," Ezra waved his hand dismissively. "Can I talk to Sophie for 5 minutes or not?"

Aria bit her lip and averted her eyes to the ground. She really, _really_ didn't want Ezra to stay and talk to her…their little girl. He didn't deserve to see the way Sophie's eyes lit up when she talked about something she enjoyed. He didn't deserve to hear the octave jumps in her voice as she grew excited about a subject. He didn't deserve to hear her adorable laugh that inevitably would turn into a cough at the end. But she knew that just because he didn't deserve those things didn't mean he wouldn't get them. A lot of people get things they don't deserve. As much as Aria wanted to protect Sophie, she knew from experience that Ezra wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted. Maybe it was easier to agree to his terms of 5 minutes and then let him leave in peace than to continue arguing and never settling the issue. If he wasn't going to back down, she had to. Wouldn't be the first time.

"5 minutes," Aria said. "The minute I set her food down on the table, you're gone."

"Understood. Thank you," Ezra smiled as he reached for the door handle and reopened it so that they could join Sophie in the living room again.

Sophie turned, unknowingly toward _both_ of her parents, as they shuffled back out into the room with smiles plastered on their faces to hide what had gone down behind closed doors. "So, can you stay Ezra?" A hopeful grin sat on Sophie's lips as she asked, her eyes flickering back and forth between the 2 adults.

Aria and Ezra exchanged a quick, binding look reminding one another of the deal they just made. There was something in Aria's eyes that dared Ezra to break it. Likewise, there was something in Ezra's eyes that told her he wouldn't. "I can stay for a few minutes, but then I really should get going." Ezra stuffed his hands into the pockets of the basketball shorts Aria had lent him to sleep in and kept his voice low and gentle, not wanting to disappoint the little girl too much.

Sophie pouted, "But why? Where do you have to go?"

Ezra opened his mouth to respond, but Aria intervened before he could. "He has a job interview later this morning and he doesn't want to miss it. But he can stay and keep you company while I cook you breakfast. What do you want?"

Sophie tapped her index finger against her chin while she considered her options. Ezra sucked in his bottom lip, trying not to smile at her actions. It was an adorable gesture. He mentally made a note to remember that expression for a long time.

"Waffles!" Sophie smiled.

"Are Eggos okay? I don't think I have any waffle mix in the pantry."

Ezra could see the hope in Aria's eyes as she waited for Sophie's answer. It was evident that she didn't want to disappoint her daughter with even the simplest thing. He could call Aria a lot of things, and he had, but he could never call her a bad mother. She was making him sure of that right now.

"Yeah, that's fine," Sophie shrugged. "We do have syrup though, right?"

Aria smiled gently, her eyes full of nothing but love for her mirror image on the couch. "Yes. I made sure to pick some up at the store last weekend. I know how much you love your syrup, my little sugar-holic."

With that, Aria turned to enter the kitchen, leaving Ezra and Sophie alone in the small living area. And although the way the apartment was set up allowed for Ezra to still have a clear view of his former friend while she heated up the frozen waffles and anything he said to her daughter would be within earshot for Aria, Ezra still felt very and suddenly alone with the little girl.

Unsure of exactly what to do, Ezra lowered himself on to the trundle so that he was facing Sophie directly. Their knees bumped together awkwardly, forcing Sophie to retract her legs and pull them into her chest, much like her mother had done last night. God, she looked like Aria…and nothing like Matt.

"So…you play soccer?" Ezra motioned to the picture he'd stared at on the Ikea shelf last night.

"Yeah," Sophie nodded. "I play at the YMCA. That picture is from last season. I was on a team called the Blue Dragons. This year I hope that I move up and am put on a team called the Red Knights. They're better and a little bit older. I practice all the time so that I can get good enough. Mom takes me to the park whenever she isn't working so that I can practice on an actual field. If she is working, I usually practice at my grandma and step-grandpa's house in their backyard." The girl talked a lot and she talked fast, once again, reminding Ezra of Aria. She'd had a bad habit of talking too fast to be understood when she got excited when they were little.

"Wow," Ezra grinned widely. "With all that practice, you could be going pro by next season."

Sophie giggled, "I don't want to be a pro soccer player."

"Oh yeah? Then what do you want to be?"

"A hairstylist," Sophie said proudly. "I love doing hair. I do mom's all the time. Last night I did my friend Katie's hair in a French braid and she liked it so much that she slept with it like that. It didn't look as good in the morning though."

"Do you think you could braid my hair?" Ezra ran his fingers through his hair and made a silly face hoping to rouse another laugh out of the girl. It worked.

Sophie scrunched up her nose and shook her head while her shoulders bounced up and down from her giggles. "No. Your hair is too short and you're a boy. Boys don't do braids!"

"Then what do boys do with their hair?" Ezra furrowed his brow, pretending to be confused by her statement.

"If it's short, nothing. If it's long they might put it in a pony tail or a man bun," Sophie stated matter-of-factly. "My mom likes guys with man buns."

From the kitchen, Aria hung her head and blushed, "No I don't."

"Yes she does," Sophie whispered. "My old soccer coach had one and she would always talk about how cute he was."

Ezra chuckled while Aria bit her lip. She didn't think he was cute because of the man bun. She thought he was cute because of…other parts of his body. Damn that man was good in bed. Why did he have to be married?

"So you do hair, play soccer…what else do you like to do?" Ezra leaned forward, genuinely interested in what she had to say.

"I love to read," Sophie beamed. "Right now I'm reading 'Nancy Drew'…"

Sophie was interrupted by the shrill sound of Aria's cell phone ringing from it's place on the kitchen counter. Both she and Ezra looked over at Aria, who suddenly looked pale and frightened.

"Who is it?" Sophie asked.

"Uh, it's, um…Noel." Aria felt like she was going to throw up for the second time that morning.

"Aria," Ezra started.

"Ezra, I hate to ask you to do this, but can you watch the waffle in the toaster and put it on a plate when it comes out? Sophie knows how to butter it herself, but I…I really need to take this." Her voice was shaky as were her hands, and admittedly, her brain. Normally, she would have never asked Ezra to do something so domestic for her daughter. Hell, 20 minutes ago she didn't even want him staying for breakfast. But Noel's bold move to contact her the night after he tried to rape her had thrown her for a mental loop, and instead of just hitting ignore, she had to hit accept. She needed answers. "I'll be right back."

In what only seemed like 2 steps, Aria made it from the kitchen to her bedroom and shut the door, leaving Ezra even more alone with Sophie than he had been before. Not wanting to piss Aria off, especially after her sudden generosity, Ezra pushed himself off the trundle and padded into the tiny kitchen to keep an eye on the waffle in the toaster. And much to his surprise, Sophie followed.

"What happened between my mom and Noel?" Sophie hopped up on the counter top next to the toaster and kicked her legs.

Ezra hesitated. He knew he couldn't tell her the truth, but he wasn't sure what fable would be appropriate and what one would not. He wasn't sure how much Aria censored for Sophie. She seemed independent enough, strong willed, and smart. But being able to butter your own waffle and know when to take your inhaler doesn't mean you're ready to hear about your mother's date from Hell. "He just…he wasn't as nice as your mom thought he was."

"Did he hurt her feelings?" Sophie furrowed her brow.

"Something like that," Ezra muttered under his breath.

A look that resembled satisfaction with Ezra's answer washed over Sophie's face before changing into one of child-like concern. "What about you and my mom?"

Ezra stiffened, "What about us?"

"She introduced you as an _old_ friend at the bookstore yesterday. _Old_ friend is what my mom calls some girl from high school named Ali and they're no longer friends. So what happened between you and my mom that made you not be friends anymore?" Sophie asked a loaded question with such an ironic innocence that it almost made Ezra laugh.

 _Do you want the short version or the long version? My version or Aria's?_ Ezra thought bitterly. Once again, this was a subject that he didn't know how to approach correctly. Clearly, Aria had told Sophie absolutely nothing about him. He figured she probably didn't even know that they used to be best friends, that they grew up together. Sophie was completely oblivious to who Ezra was and the impact he'd had on both her and her mother's life at one time.

Ezra quickly went over the story of his and Aria's falling out in his head. It was one permanently etched into his brain, but one he'd only shared aloud once in his entire life. Of course he wasn't about to share it a second time with this little girl, but her question fueled a fire that he couldn't put out.

He remembered the night everything started falling apart. It was one not unlike last night, only things had gone a little further than they had with Noel by the time Ezra arrived. He'd never forget the haunting sounds Aria made as she cried and cried into his shirt. He remembered the tension, the distance, the careful wording and manipulation, and ultimately the betrayal that followed only weeks after that fateful night. Something had snapped inside of Aria. Something had changed. She was no longer the girl he'd fallen in love with as a child. And as a result, Ezra changed too. He remembered the little fights they had and the fight that ended all fighting…and all talking between them. What he'd said had been out of line, but what she'd done was worse. He remembered crying for hours that night. To this day, if he thought about it too much, he'd begin crying fresh tears for an old cause.

"Ezra?" Sophie reached out and touched his arm, startling him. "My waffle is ready."

He turned his head from the small girl on the counter to the toaster and sure enough, the waffle was poking out of the top, cooked to perfection. "Oh, sorry. I didn't even hear it come up." Ezra quickly transferred the waffle to the plate Aria had already pulled out of the cabinet and slid it over to Sophie.

She hopped down off the counter, grabbed her plate, and walked to the table to set it down in what Ezra assumed was _her_ spot. She then danced over to the refrigerator to grab the butter, to the pantry to grab syrup, and to a kitchen drawer for a knife and a fork before finally sitting down and digging in. Ezra watched in amazement. Damn, that kid was self sufficient. He wasn't so sure _he_ was buttering his own waffles at 8 years old.

"Come sit," Sophie patted the chair next to her.

Ezra did as he was told.

"So tell me what happened," Sophie commanded as she spread a glob of butter around the circular food.

"It's really complicated, Sophie," Ezra offered an apologetic smile. "Gross grown-up stuff that might go over your head."

"You don't think I'm mature enough?" Sophie raised an eyebrow and Ezra couldn't tell if she was offended or just curious. "Because I'll have you know, all of my doctors and teachers say I'm very mature for my age."

"I don't doubt that," Ezra shook his head. "Your mother was the same way at your age."

"You knew my mom when she was 8?" Sophie began cutting her waffle, but had her eyes trained on Ezra in shock.

"I knew her before I was born," Ezra smiled fondly at the old, good memories. "Our moms were best friends and they made sure that your mom and I grew up that way too."

"How long were you 2 best friends?" Sophie asked between chews.

"18 years," Ezra sighed. Every time he thought about the length of time they were friends, and about what happened 8 years ago, he felt a surge of sadness course through his veins. It was almost like all those years of friendship were for nothing.

Sophie's eyes bugged out, "Dang! That's longer than I've been alive. Wait…" Her brow furrowed. "I was born when my mom was 18, so does that mean you and my mom were friends when I was in her belly?"

Ezra swallowed. _Yes. You're one reason out of a hundred that we aren't friends anymore. Probably the biggest part though. You were the last straw. Your mother insisted that you were my baby. I didn't think you were. But now I'm not so sure anymore. I wanted nothing to do with you. Now, I regret that decision whole-heartedly._ "For a short while, yeah."

"So what happened? Was it just weird having a pregnant friend?" Sophie asked a silly question with a dead-serious look on her face. To her, that was enough reason to stop being friends with someone.

"Uh, no, I…" Ezra's voice trailed off when he caught Aria's bedroom door opening again.

Aria stepped out into the living room and it became evident that she'd been crying. Her eyes were puffy and the tip of nose was red.

"Mommy, are you alright?" Sophie jumped up and ran over to give Aria the biggest hug she could muster.

Aria picked the little girl up and squeezed her with all of her might, then placed a kiss on her cheek and nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine now."

"What did Noel want?" Ezra copied Sophie by getting up from the table and walking closer to Aria.

"He, uh," Her eyes fell to Sophie for a brief moment before landing back on Ezra. "Wanted to apologize for last night. He also asked me for bail money, but I'm not doing that. He kind of wasted his 1 phone call, but oh well."

"What's bail money?" Sophie squirmed out of her mother's arms.

"Nothing, sweetie," Aria dismissed the important question with the wave of her hand. "Ezra, I think it's time for you to leave. Thanks for looking after Sophie while I took that call."

"But he was telling me a story," Sophie stomped her foot and crossed her arms.

"What story?" Aria arched an eyebrow.

"Don't worry about it," Ezra shrugged as he moved about the apartment to gather his belongings which consisted of his clothes from last night, his 'Harry Potter' book, and his keys. "I'll wash these and return them to you whenever I see you at The Brew next."

"Uh…okay," Aria mumbled, not particularly satisfied with Ezra's answer to her previous question, but not wanting to press any further in fear of prolonging his stay.

"Bye, Aria. Bye, Sophie." Ezra said a little too quickly for Aria's, and Sophie's, liking before disappearing out the front door and leaving the little family, unbeknownst to one party, broken once again.

Line Break

Later that afternoon, it was Aria's turn to beat the shit out of Ezra's door. She was angry. She was shaking. She was about to unleash Hell like he'd never experienced it before. And she was desperately going to need gas after driving around all of Rosewood and New Haven searching for the hotel Ezra had decided to check into after leaving her apartment that morning.

She was so angry that she couldn't see straight. Even Ella had noticed that something was up when Aria dropped Sophie off at her house before "heading to her shift at The Brew" an hour and a half early. Aria had dismissed it as the result of a lack of sleep and too much caffeine, when really it was the result of the biggest amount of rage she'd felt in years.

She knew Ezra was in his room, this room. She'd seen his car out in the parking lot. And even if he'd been sleeping, her frantic knocking was sure to wake him up.

Just as Aria's knuckles began to ache from the force she was using on the poor hotel door, it swung open, revealing a very drained and very confused Ezra.

"Aria, wh…"

She didn't have time for formalities. She didn't have time to explain. She didn't even have time for him to finish his sentence. Her tolerance for him and his bullshit was already at an all time low. So instead of giving him a chance to process what was going on, she simply screamed…

"What the _fuck_ did you tell Sophie?"

 **A/N: Ah, semi-cliffhanger. What exactly did Sophie tell Aria that Ezra told her that made her so mad? Also, what'd y'all think of Ezra's side of the story? Aria seems to think what happened between them was all Ezra's fault, but he seems to think it's the other way around. So what's the truth? I revealed a little more of what happened between them and the next '26' chapter even more will be revealed. So get ready! Also, I promise that older-Ezria romance is coming, but in due time. Obviously they aren't in a place where they will be making out right now, but it will happen. I will tease that it might be happening a bit sooner than you think too.**

 **Thank you all so much for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter! I hit 180 and actually went slightly above, so thanks! I'll probably update by Wednesday, depending on how I feel after getting my wisdom teeth out on Tuesday. Can I hit 200 reviews by then? Or get close, haha. Please let me know your thoughts!**

 **Thanks so much for reading.**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	13. Chapter 13

_2005_

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

"You're 100% sure about this?"

"Yes. I want to do this more than anything."

"Okay."

*Two hours earlier*

"Happy birthday, dear Aria. Happy birthday to you." A loud cheer erupted from the crowd gathered around the dining room table as the song came to an end and the birthday girl, who's birthday wasn't for 2 more days, blew out the single candle perched on top of a cupcake.

"And many more!" A few people whom Aria didn't really know all that well exclaimed obnoxiously from the back as the applause died down. Some of her friends rolled their eyes at what they deemed to be immaturity, but Aria just smiled even wider. Those people wishing her many more birthdays were incredibly drunk. They were drunk because Spencer had decided to throw Aria an unsupervised surprise party at her parents' lake house that weekend. And an unsupervised party meant a lot of drunk classmates, good times, and the best birthday weekend Aria may not remember come Monday morning.

"Okay everyone, I'm going to propose a toast!" Spencer cried out, climbing onto one of the dining room chairs and raising her shot glass in the air. After a few seconds, the room quieted down and all eyes were on her. "To Aria. May 15 be good to you. May it be filled with lots of laughter, drinks, and hot guys. I love you, best friend."

There was a collective clank of shot glasses banging against one another and on table tops, followed by silence, and finally, the sound of gagging once everyone had thrown their drink back. Aria's head spun as she processed the Patron that was burning her insides. She was already on the verge of going from tipsy to drunk before taking this shot. Now, she was pretty sure the verge had passed. As her brain became fuzzy and every suddenly looked like they were moving in slow motion, Aria knew she was now absolutely, without a doubt drunk. She giggled at this realization.

Her eyes scanned the room, only taking in a quarter of what she was actually seeing, before they landed on the only thing she cared about looking at. Her boyfriend. Her secret. Her Ezra.

She could tell by his body language that he wasn't drunk yet. He probably wouldn't even reach that point tonight. He had a tendency to play the role of the sober friend. He liked keeping everyone safe. He liked keeping everyone from doing something stupid, like hopping on one of the Hastings' many golf carts and driving down to the lake or jumping from the balcony down to the couches. But more importantly, he liked keeping _Aria_ safe. He liked keeping _Aria_ from doing anything stupid like driving, or jumping, or telling everyone that the 2 of them were dating- something she _really_ wanted to do at the moment. She hated keeping them a secret. Sober, she understood why it was important. But drunk, she couldn't understand the consequences of anyone finding them out despite them being drilled into her head almost every day like the damn Pythagorean Theorem.

Half-knowing that sitting and drinking were a bad combination, and half-wanting to be next to her boyfriend, Aria picked up the solo cup she'd been drinking from, stood up, and sauntered across the room to Ezra, who was talking with Hardy and a few other boys Aria forgot the names of in her current state of mind. She watched as he laughed along with his friends before his gorgeous blue eyes swept the room and locked on her figure making its way towards him. He smiled, but not too wide, and stared, but not at her eyes.

Aria hadn't left her house that afternoon in the outfit she was wearing now. Her parents would have killed her. They didn't even know she owned this outfit. It had been one of her all-cash purchases at the mall during a shopping trip with Ali and Hanna. They'd convinced her to buy it and bring it to the lake house, although at the time, she didn't know why. For all she knew, it was just going to be the 5 of them spending the weekend up there. But now, she was glad she listened. The Juicy sweatpants and matching jacket would not have been as appealing to her party guests as what she currently had on.

14 had brought about a significant amount of changes to Aria's body. She no longer felt like a child. A child didn't have C-cups. A child didn't have a period every 28 days. A child didn't have defined hips, or a figure nonetheless. Aria had all of those things. And although Aria knew that she was still many experiences and changes away from being considered a woman, it was a nice feeling to no longer be offered a children's menu at restaurants…and to have boys look at her the way Ezra was right now.

His eyes grazed over her exposed stomach and low cut collar that showed a fair amount of her cleavage, before moving them down to admire the way her ass looked in her skinny jeans and how great her calves looked thanks to her heels. She felt like a goddess and Ezra was looking at her as if she actually was.

However, that persona was ripped away from her for a brief second when she bobbled on the rug and flailed her free hand out for someone to grab hold of and support her. Lucky for her, that helping hand belonged to Ezra.

"Whoa, you alright?" Ezra pulled her upright, incidentally pulling her closer as well. His hand brushed over the bare skin of her back before it returned to his side, looking tense as if it ached for more.

"Yeah," Aria gave a watery smile. "That damn rug always causes me to trip every time I'm here."

"What are you drinking, birthday girl?" One of the nameless boys tilted his head towards her cup after finishing off whatever was in his.

"Rum and coke," Aria pressed the cup to her lips and took a decent swig. When she pulled it away, she instinctually thrust it towards Ezra. "Want some?"

Ezra shook his head, "No. I'm fine." He made an attempt to catch Aria's eye, wanting to warn her about her actions, but she avoided him, looking off in the direction of the stereo system that was blaring 'Yeah' by Usher throughout the house. Offering him her drink wasn't too much of a give-away, but it was a hint in the wrong direction. They'd done a pretty good job of keeping their relationship on the down low for almost 2 months now. He didn't want to ruin it now. Not when he was actually growing fond of the secrecy, the intimacy of having a relationship no one else knew about.

"Ugh, why are you guys being lame and just _standing_ here. Let's dance!" Aria tugged on Ezra's wrist while addressing the rest of the group.

"Are you in a good enough state to dance, Montgomery?" Hardy laughed, though his slightly stunted sentence structure made Aria see that he wasn't completely sober either.

"I'm just as well off as you are," Aria stuck out her tongue before sipping on her drink again.

"I'm not the one in heels," Hardy pointed to her feet.

A sober Aria would have a witty comeback to Hardy's comment. A drunk Aria could hardly remember the words to such a repetitive song, much less think of something funny to say. So instead, Aria just clicked her heels together like Dorothy, rolled her eyes, and led Ezra to the middle of the living room/converted dance floor.

"Aria," Ezra groaned. "We have to be careful. If we dance together…"

"If we dance together, what, Ezra?" Aria huffed as she began swaying to the music. "People will think we're close friends? Dancing means nothing."

"People might talk," Ezra folded his arms.

"People talk all the time," Aria swung her hips from side to side and grabbed Ezra's wrists in an attempt to make him dance, but he wouldn't budge. "But they don't know anything. No one _knows_ anything unless we confirm it, and we won't."

"Aria," Ezra whined again.

"And even if we did, what are they going to say? I saw Aria and Ezra kissing at a party I wasn't supposed to be at while everyone including myself was drunk? No. If anything, the rumors will start at school and they will stay there because everyone will be too afraid of getting in trouble if they talked about it at home. Our parents will never find out, trust me." Aria twirled in a circle to celebrate the rather good point she made while not being able to think straight.

Ezra's mouth twitched from side to side. The whole reason for keeping their relationship a secret wasn't so their classmates wouldn't find out, but so their parents wouldn't find out. They were too stubborn to give up the trust they'd earned to shut the bedroom door whenever the 2 of them hung out together. They didn't want to give up being allowed to go to the other's house when no one else was home. They didn't want to be denied the things they'd had the freedom to do as friends just because they'd taken their relationship to the next level. And they knew that if their parents found out they were together, they would lose everything they'd earned over the years. Their secrecy was to protect what they had from the watchful eye of mommy and daddy. But Aria was right. No one would be talking about this party within ear shot of their parents. They would be fine.

"Okay, fine," Ezra sighed. "I'll dance with you."

"Yay!" Aria squealed, wrapping her hands around Ezra's arms and pulling his body a little closer to hers. "Oh my God, this is my favorite part."

Suddenly, before Ezra had the time to process what was happening, Aria had turned her back to him and began moving her butt dangerously close to his nether regions.

"Take that, rewind it back. Lil' John got the beat to make your booty go…" Seemingly every girl on the dance floor sang in unison as they bent over to give the boys a great view of their asses. Of course, Ezra was only focused on Aria, and Aria knew this a little too well. She inched her body closer to his, taking her time and waiting to put her ass on him until the song "clapped". When it did, she was right up on him, and to her surprise, he didn't protest. Instead, Ezra wrapped his hands around her waist and squeezed her closer.

Their movements seemed to inspire other couples and horny drunks to do the same and soon, almost everyone had partnered up, be it with a friend or a lover. However, it also inspired a few curious looks from those who knew them well. Hardy, who was now all up on Hanna, raised an eyebrow at his friend, although Ezra didn't notice, while Spencer and Alison watched from across the room, exchanging whispers and side glances. Even Emily, who seemed too engrossed in watching Maya dance, appeared to notice the behavior of 2 of her closest friends and found it a bit odd. But, no one said anything…to them at least.

The secret couple stayed on the floor, pressed against one another for a medley of songs that included 'Grind with Me', 'Hollaback Girl', 'Toxic', 'Don't Cha', 'Gold Digger', and '1,2 Step' before finally calling it and stumbling over to the kitchen bar with sore feet and thighs. Aria, who had discarded her solo cup during the second song they'd danced to, plucked a fresh one off the counter and poured herself 2 shots of Patron, downing both in a matter of seconds. Ezra watched, not too happy with his girlfriend's choice to continue drinking, but also not in the mood to tell her to stop on her birthday weekend. He was there to take care of her. She'd be fine.

"Hey party girl," Spencer slurred as she approached the couple at the bar with her own drink in hand.

Aria didn't verbally respond, but she did offer a wave and a smile. She was too busy staring at nothing at formulate words. Both Ezra and Spencer laughed at her actions.

"She's gone," Spencer giggled then hiccupped.

Ezra shook his head while he laughed, "She's really lived up this birthday party you threw for her. Good job, by the way." Without thinking, Ezra reached up and wiped a bead of sweat from Aria's temple. She smiled softly. He froze completely. Spencer narrowed her eyes.

"You're not drinking, are you?" Spencer asked, still staring at Ezra's hands which had moved to rub the back of his neck.

"Uh, no," Ezra muttered. "I mean, I had a beer earlier, but that's it. I'm pretty sober."

"Great. Could you take the golf cart down to the shed by the lake and bring back some more ice? There's a huge ass freezer in there with like 20 bags. Just bring back 2 of them. You do know how to drive, right?" Spencer sounded oddly sober as she made her request before returning to her ditsy, fumbling manner.

"Yeah, I've got a golf cart out at my lake house too," Ezra nodded. "Where are your keys?"

"Can I come?" Aria snapped out of her trance and flashed them the biggest smile they'd seen on her since she'd downed her first drink. It looked almost eerie against her porcelain features and hazy eyes instead of adorable and sweet, the way she probably meant for it to come across.

"Sure," Ezra shrugged. If he took her with him, they'd finally have a few minutes of alone time and Lord knows after the way they were dancing, he needed that.

"They're on the hook by the door," Spencer pointed to the back door that was currently being blocked by several sweaty bodies. "Be careful and let me know when you're back."

"Got it," Ezra gave her his best reassuring smile while he offered Aria his hand to help her down from the stool she was occupying.

"Bye, Spence," Aria giggled, latching onto Ezra's hand and refusing to let go as he led them towards the door and out into the cool February air.

The difference between the outside of the lake house and the inside was drastic. There was silence where there used to be music. There was fresh air was there used to be the smell of whiskey and rum. There was a cold wind nipping at their cheeks where there used to sweat dripping down their faces. In a way, it felt like a whole new world outside those lake house doors and both of the teens found themselves slightly happier than they had been before. As much as they liked the fast, partying life that Alison had kind of introduced them to at the tender age of 13 on New Years Eve, they both enjoyed peace and a more leisurely approach to their days a little bit more.

Aria wasn't sure if it was the fresh, cool air or the sudden shock of silence and darkness that caused her to sober up, but as soon as she sat down in the passenger seat of the gold cart, her brain unclouded and her limbs felt less heavy and in the way. She smiled to herself, glad she wouldn't be totally wasted during her and Ezra's alone time in the tight, enclosed space by the lake.

The ride down to the shed took about 3 minutes. In that time, the couple didn't say much, both too caught up in their own heads and the scenery around them to want to break the silence. So instead of talking, they just sat quietly, Aria's head on Ezra's shoulder and her finger brushing against his knee in a circular pattern. The couple of times that Ezra had to bring the cart to a complete stop, he would press a kiss to Aria's forehead during the short pause before hitting the gas again, causing Aria to smile softly. The party Spencer had thrown her was great, but somehow this…this was even better.

When the 2 arrived at the shed, they hopped out of the vehicle and shuffled inside of the narrow wooden building, shutting the door and hiding themselves from the world around them.

A small chain hanging from the ceiling provided an even smaller amount of light when Ezra tugged on it, illuminating only their bodies and the shiny freezer positioned at the back of the shed. Around them, silhouettes of lawn mowers and other various garden tools stood out as well as a couple of gas tanks full of gasoline that attributed to the weird smell encompassing them.

"Well this is cozy," Aria puffed air into her cheeks and let it out as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Ezra sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, taking step forward and sliding his hands along Aria's exposed waist and pressing a quick kiss to the tip of her nose. "I think so. It's kind of nice." As he spoke, his eyes drifted from her face down her neck and over the tops of her breasts before slowly making their way back up again. "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?"

Aria shook her head, trying to hold back a smile and a sarcastic comment about her 'eyes being up here'. "No, but you haven't really gotten the chance to, so I won't hold it against you."

"Well you do," Ezra leaned in and brushed his nose against her cheek. "You look very beautiful tonight, as you do all the time. But man," He paused to press a kiss to her cheek and jaw line. "There's something about the way you look tonight that's just…wow." His lips grazed her ear lobe on their way down to her neck.

Aria raised an eyebrow, but relaxed into Ezra's body despite her surprise. This wasn't exactly _new_ territory for them, the kissing, the touching, the looking. But it was new in the sense that they'd never been _this_ alone while doing those things. There was always the sound of a parent shuffling around downstairs or a sibling playing video games in the next room or even a party going on right outside the door the concealed them. This time, however, there was nothing. It was silent, it was still. They were completely alone. And in a way, that scared Aria just as much as it excited her.

"Bullshit," Aria leaned her head back as Ezra sucked a hickey onto her neck, just above her collar bone. "I don't look beautiful all of the time. You of all people should know that. You've seen my after-shower look at your lake house. You know, big t-shirt, wet, tangled hair, no make-up, sunglasses tan line. Any of that ringing a bell?"

Ezra pulled away from her neck just long enough to say, "Still beautiful to me," before returning his focus to his mission of leaving his mark on her skin.

Aria hummed in contentment and closed her eyes. "I love you."

Her heart stopped the second the words left her mouth, as did Ezra's. Neither of them had been expecting to hear those words that night. Aria especially hadn't expected those words to come from her. Had she even meant to say them? She'd always loved Ezra, but it had always been in a more platonic way. And she'd told him that on multiple occasions. But this time those 3 words weren't hiding behind a platonic façade. She was either _in_ love with Ezra romantically or she wasn't at all. She was either confessing feelings she'd been harboring for years or she just got too caught up in the moment and let the alcohol that was still floating in her system do the talking. Unfortunately, her slightly altered state of mind and small heart attack barricaded blood flow to her brain and stopped her from being able to decide what she'd truly meant by what she'd said.

"What?" Ezra had taken a couple of steps back and was now looking Aria directly in the eyes. "You…what?"

"Never mind," Aria looked at her feet, breaking Ezra's rather intimidating stare down. "Forget I said anything. We should get the ice and go back."

She made a move towards the freezer in the back, but was stopped by Ezra's hand clamping down on her elbow. "Wait, Aria. You…you just said you loved me. You can't just dismiss that and pretend it didn't happen." He maneuvered his way around the lawn mowers and other gardening tools so that he was standing in front of her. Once again, his eyes bore directly into hers, displaying the saddest mix of confusion and hopefulness that Aria had ever seen. "I…I understand that you're drunk and that you probably didn't mean it…"

"That's the thing Ezra. I don't _know_ if I mean it or not," Aria blinked back a few tears that began to well up in her ducts. She'd pictured telling Ezra she loved him many times before, but always when they were older and more experienced. She never thought it'd come out when she was drunk and unsure of her thoughts and feelings. "I mean I've always loved you. You know that. You're my best friend, how could I not? But I'm technically not even 15 yet. I don't…I don't know what romantic love is. I've never experienced that. I know people say that you know when you're in love, but what if I don't? I've loved you since we were kids so what if I can't distinguish between that love and real love?"

"No one knows what being in love feels like until they fall in love for the first time," Ezra stroked her arm gently. "What…what does _this_ feel like to you?"

"I don't know!" Aria cried, plopping down on her ass in a burst of frustration and immaturity. She used to throw herself on the ground whenever she was upset as a toddler. She guessed some things never changed.

Ezra's knees popped as he lowered himself to the floor and scooted closer to Aria. Their knees touched, sending waves of electricity through the both of them. Although, due to their current situation, neither of them cared to acknowledge it. "It's okay, Aria. Look at me." With a feather light touch, Ezra tilted Aria's chin towards him, forcing her to take her hazel eyes off of the ground. "You don't have to know tonight. Okay? I understand that you're drunk and confused, but…but I'm not. And…and I think that I love you." The nerves in his voice were evident as he said his last sentence, causing Aria's heart to flutter against her rib cage.

"What does it feel like?" Aria whispered, reaching out and grabbing his hands.

"Well, it feels…it feels like I always want to be around you. It feels like happiness and home, but it's also terrifying and foreign. I know that just being romantically involved with you is a risk because of our history, and falling in love with you may only make things worse if, God forbid, something ever goes wrong, but I can't help it. It feels like your smile lights up my world and your kisses make the bad days, good ones. It feels like I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. It feels like I'd be losing a huge part of myself if I ever lost you. And most of all, it feels right. Aria, I know we aren't very old. Most people would call 2 14-year-olds crazy for saying they love one another, but given our history, I think it's not totally implausible for us to love each other right now. So yeah, I think I love you. I…I do love you." By the end of his monologue, Aria knew. Aria knew he loved her. Her really, really loved her. And she loved him too.

"I…I…" Aria stuttered, searching her half-working brain for the right words. "Can I just tell you that I love you too when I'm completely sober?"

Ezra laughed, then leaned in towards Aria, "Yeah, that's fine with me."

The next kiss they shared was one for the books. It was passionate, firm, hungry, and one way beyond their years. It was addicting. They never wanted to stop. Tongues and lips were pulled into the other's mouth. Hands roamed over bare skin and loosened belt buckles. Moans and sighs of pleasure bounced of the walls of the small shed as Ezra pushed Aria onto her back, positioning himself on top of her. Their hands intertwined above Aria's head and their heart beats began to slowly synchronize with one another. For the second time that night, Aria felts a surge of fear instantly quelled by excitement and Ezra's gentle caress. _This_ was certainly new territory, but she didn't exactly mind. She was with Ezra and she was in love.

Line Break

"Are you sure?" The voice, a male one all too familiar, snuck through the cracks of the shed, startling Aria and Ezra and pulling them apart after what felt likes hours.

"I'm positive." A female voice lilted in shortly after.

"I don't want to hurt you." The male voice sounded again, this time causing Aria and Ezra to exchange wide-eyed glances. It had registered in both of their minds exactly who was talking on the other side of the door.

"You won't." Suddenly, the female voice became apparent too, making Aria scrambled backwards away from Ezra and into a standing position near the freezer. Not even a second later, Ezra was doing the same thing.

"You're 100% sure about this?" The guy wiggled the handle to the shed.

"Yes. I want to do this more than anything." The girl sounded serious, but her slurred s's made it clear that she wasn't thinking straight.

"Okay."

The door opened.

"Oh shit," The guy that Aria and Ezra now knew for sure was Hardy, stumbled backwards once he laid eyes on the 2 people already occupying the shed.

Hanna fumbled to his side shortly after, eyes wide and lips shaped into a smirk. "Damn, babe. Looks like someone beat us to the idea of hooking up in the shed." Her glassy eyes gave the frozen couple a once over, surely taking in, but not necessarily recording for her memory, their shifted clothes, swollen lips, multiple hickeys, and Aria's messed up hair.

"We weren't…" "No, that's not…" Aria and Ezra started at the same time. And they were being honest. They _hadn't_ been 'hooking up'. Neither of them were quite ready to take that step yet, much less did they want to take that step in a dusty shed surrounded by equipment and gasoline. They had just been indulging themselves in the best damn make out session either of them had ever had.

"Sure," Hanna giggled. "Nice boner, Ezra."

Aria bit her lip, trying not to laugh along with her friend, while Ezra's cheeks flushed and his hand went to cover his…excitement. Aria had noticed it awhile ago and thought it was sexy. Now she just thought it was funny.

"We were just getting ice for Spencer," Ezra moved back towards the freezer and pulled out the 2 bags their friend had requested an hour ago. "And now we're heading back. You 2 want a ride back to the house?"

"No, I think we're good here," Hardy winked at Hanna. "You don't happen to have like a condom or anything do you, Ez?"

Hanna linked her hand in Hardy's, grinning ear to ear, while Aria shook her head rapidly, trying to let her friend know that she was making a huge mistake.

"No, I don't," Ezra narrowed his eyes. "And unless you're looking to go into sophomore year as parents, I think you should both come back to the house with us."

"Oh fuck no," Hardy slurred. "I'm not becoming a father in high school. Dude, can you imagine?"

"No, I can't," Ezra shrugged, picking the ice up from the floor and settling it into his hands. "So come on. No one is staying in the shed."

Slightly turned on by Ezra's authoritative stance, Aria shuffled after her boyfriend, briefly catching Hanna and Hardy exchanging an eye roll before reluctantly doing the same. And as they loaded the golf cart, she smiled to herself. She did love Ezra, and this was one of the many reasons why. He truly cared about his friends and had a good head on his shoulders. And even though they weren't ready to have sex yet, Aria knew that when they were, she had nothing to worry about. They'd be smart. They'd be careful. They wouldn't be graduating high school as parents. She was sure of it. Just like she was sure that they'd be in each other's lives forever. How could they not be? In her mind, there was no storm big enough to tear them apart…until suddenly, there was.

 **A/N: Thank you guys so much for getting this story to 200 reviews! That means the world to me. I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. A little bit of fluff before the storm. Next chapter, more will be revealed about what exactly it was that tore the 2 apart, so be prepared. It won't be the whole story, but it won't be pretty either, which is why I wanted to make this chapter sweet and relatively fluffy. So let me know your thoughts on this chapter as well as predictions about the next one! I'll try to upload by Sunday or Monday.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

_2016_

 _"What the_ fuck _did you tell Sophie?"_

Aria's anger fueled exclamation rang off the walls surrounding her like loud, thundering church bells. However, it didn't seem to _ring_ any _bells_ in Ezra's head because his only reaction to the small, shaking woman before him was one of confusion. He just stood there, mouth slightly open, eyebrows knitted together. His eyes were shrunken down to slits in his face, but moved quickly back and forth beneath his lids as he tried to recall the event that had fired up his ex-everything.

The negative emotions radiating from Aria were almost palpable. The frustration, the hate, the wrongfully placed passion. All of it was on display around her petite body. Ezra felt like he could reach an index finger out and pop her little angry bubble if he truly wanted to. Although, poking the beast was probably not the best way to get it to calm down. Talking to it was surely the better option, and the one Ezra eventually, internally resigned to. "Do come in."

"I don't want to come in. I want to know what the hell you told my daughter this morning," Aria seethed through clenched teeth. She had her arms crossed over her chest, hands gripping her forearms so tight that it looked like it hurt. Her body was so tense that even that smallest of muscles were visibly trembling. She looked like the human version of a dam getting ready to bust. Never had Ezra wanted to drug someone with a Xanax more than he did in that moment.

He sighed, "I didn't tell her anything, but since you're so adamant about the fact that I did, why don't you come inside and we can talk? You can tell me what I supposedly told Sophie and I can tell you how wrong you are."

Aria's face contorted with something that looked an awful lot like contempt mixed in with a hint of utterly pissed off. "You really shouldn't be acting like a smartass right now, Ezra. I'm not in the mood."

"And I'm not in the mood to have a conversation that I don't even understand out in the hallway of a hotel where anyone can hear us. Come inside now or I shut the door in your face." It was something he'd done before, and something he'd rather not do again. But this time, he wouldn't be slamming the door in a crying, pregnant Aria's face. He'd be slamming it in tiny ball of unjustified rage and petty Aria's face. This scenario would come with a hell of a lot less guilt than the first one had.

The realization of impending déjà vu seemed to hit Aria at the same time that it hit Ezra because before he could even process the present day situation fully, Aria was pushing past him and marching her way into the middle of his hotel room, face red and eyes dark with disgust. Once it registered that he was staring at a now empty hallway, Ezra slowly shut the door and turned to look at the woman he had seen too many times in the past week.

There was a thick silence between them for a few seconds. Both were too busy trying to organize their buzzing brains to actually speak. Choice words and observations about how stupid and nonchalant Ezra looked just standing there bounced around in Aria's head, while defense strategies and, oddly enough, acknowledgements of how much Aria looked like her high school self occupied Ezra's. Her jean shorts, halter top, full face of makeup, and heels reminded him of the way she used to dress for parties, the way she used to dress for him. However, the braids she had on either side of her head that had been pulled back into her ponytail reminded him that they weren't in high school anymore. She almost never wore her hair up back then. Though, it seemed like the only way she wore her hair as an adult. Something told him it was easier to just throw it up into a bun or ponytail than to take the time to style it down, and as a mother, Aria needed easy. Something also told him that the braids she sported were a part of her motherhood as well. Sophie had done that. Ezra smiled to himself at the thought.

"Why the hell are you smiling?" Aria's sharp tongue brought Ezra back to reality.

"Sorry. I, uh, no reason," Ezra shook his head, his lips falling back to their neutral positon. "So why exactly are you here?"

"Because of what you told Sophie," Aria hissed.

"What exactly did I tell her because unless I have short term memory loss, I can't recall saying anything of significance to her. In fact, she did most of the talking," Ezra made his way over to his bed and took a seat, knowing that this conversation was most likely not going to be a short one.

"You told her that we were friends for 18 years. You told her that you were around when I got pregnant with her. And when she asked you what happened to make us stop talking, you started to tell her. Now, she's expecting me to fill in the blanks," Aria began pacing back and forth, making her sound a bit out of breath as she filled Ezra in on the reason for her sudden and almost violent appearance at his doorstep.

Ezra snorted, causing Aria to pause mid-step and glare at him. She opened her mouth to scold him for laughing at what seemed like an end-of-the-world scenario to her, but was beat to the punch by Ezra's chuckle-shaken questions. "That's it? You drove around town to find my hotel and nearly knocked down my door because I told Sophie that you and I were friends for years when we were younger? Seriously?"

Aria's body language changed. She went from looking enraged to looking flat out homicidal. Clearly, she had been expecting a different reaction from Ezra, although he wasn't sure what _that_ reaction was supposed to be. Laughter seemed appropriate for a statement as silly as hers.

"Why is what I said funny?" Aria whispered, not unlike the way Ezra's mother would whisper when she was beyond furious with him as a child. It sent chills down his spine, which he assumed was what her intent had been when she spoke like she had.

"Because it makes absolutely no sense," Ezra rose from the bed, hoping his advantage in height would turn the tables on the intimidation factor and put an end to Aria's maternal approach to getting what she wanted. "You're angry because I told your daughter we used to be friends? She already knew that. She also knew we aren't friends anymore, so she asked what any child would ask: why? I wasn't going to tell her what really happened. I was just going to say that we grew apart. Your commitment to your family and mine to school got in the way. And honestly, that's all _you_ have to tell her if she asks again. I'm sure you can pull off that lie. You used to tell bigger ones back in the day. And I'm sure you already lie to her about the existence of Santa and the Easter Bunny. Telling her one more white-lie won't be that hard."

Aria's eye visibly twitched. She knew he was right. The solution to the problem that she'd blown out of proportion was simple. Her outburst wasn't necessary. But…she'd wanted it to be. 8 years was a long time to hold a grudge, to hate someone. As messed up as it was, it was really the constant in Aria's life. Before Matt had died, he was never around. He was always overseas. Her rock was a million miles away, so she had to rotate between places to seek comfort- friends, family, booze when Sophie was spending the night at grandma's. When Matt died, she was continuously spinning, being passed off from one person to the other to seek assurance and guidance. Sophie's health was never predictable. One week she was fine, the next she was coughing up a lung and being rushed to the ER. Hell, Aria had even gone through several apartments in the past few years on the hunt for the cheapest rent available. Absolutely nothing in her life was constant…except her feud with Ezra. She _needed_ to be at odds with him to feel sane. Their semi-truce in the wee hours of that morning scared her. It was a nice gesture, but obviously, she couldn't handle it.

"I can't lie to her forever," Aria tried to egg on the argument she'd already lost. "She's a smart little girl. She'll figure it out someday."

Ezra furrowed his brow. A part of him wanted to tell her that although Sophie was smart, it was a stretch to think she'd figure out exactly what happened between her mother and him. Another part wanted to ask her if she was indirectly talking about something…else. He went with the former to test the waters. "I doubt that. It's one hell of a story with a lot of little details thrown in. I'm not sure anyone could figure out what happened unless one of us told them."

"That's n…" She clamped her lips together, fear and regret surging through her body and flashing across her eyes. She closed her eyes and reworded her sentence in her head before trying to speak again. "I need to protect my child and that means shielding her from what really went down between us for the rest of her life. She does not ever need to know how, why, or when she was conceived or how you reacted to her existence. And she does not need to know you. You sparked a curiosity in her that I didn't want and while I can quell it with white-lies for now, that may not always work, especially if you and I get friendly with one another again. I know we said last night that we should stop being enemies, that we should stop hating each other, but we can't. Because if we do, the small talk will start while you wait for your coffee. After that, there will be full blown conversations. Then comes being acquaintances. Then friends. And I can't…I can't be your friend again Ezra. For my sake and for Sophie's. Because whenever you're around all I can think about is what happened. These past few days, that's all that's been on my mind. I cried myself to sleep last night because I couldn't stop thinking about it! The more you're around, the more I'll be this way, and the more Sophie will ask questions." Aria took a deep, shaky breath, as her anger from earlier turned into sadness. "So please, don't try to talk to me. Don't try to be nice to me. Just leave me alone like we've been doing for the past 8 years and everything will be fine."

"No."

The 2 letter word fell from Ezra's lips before he could stop them. But that didn't mean he didn't mean them. He was over ignoring her. He was done hating her. He was ready to make amends and she wasn't going to tell him he couldn't. Never in a million years would Ezra have admitted that his missed Aria, but he did. Yesterday had made him realize that. Hearing her laugh, seeing her smile, picking up on the things about her that hadn't changed since they were little and the things that had. He missed it all. He thought they were making a step in the right direction when they agreed to move on during their first real conversation earlier. He wasn't about to let her force them 2 steps back.

"No?" Aria cocked an eyebrow, a hint of frustration reappearing in her tone.

"No," Ezra reaffirmed. "I don't want to do that. I'm done hating you, avoiding you. I let you walk away 8 years ago, but not now. Believe it or not, but I've missed having you in my life."

"You let me…you let me…" Aria's breathing increased as if she'd been running and her eyes grew as wide as a canyon. She dropped her arms, balling her fists at her sides. Slowly, she inched her hand to her back pocket and for a brief moment, Ezra wondered if she had some sort of weapon on her. She'd never been physically violent before, but neither had some first time murderers. But rather than pulling a gun or knife on him like he irrationally feared, Aria's hand remained idle in her back pocket as she continued her sentence. "You _let_ me walk away? Bullshit. Bull fucking shit. You forced me out the door, Ezra! You asked me to leave and never talk to you again. You may not have short term memory loss, but you sure as hell do have long term."

She was yelling now, louder than she had been in the hallway. Ezra cringed, praying that his hotel neighbors were out and about at this time of day rather than relaxing in their rooms. "Aria, keep your voice down."

"No!" She shouted. "You don't get to tell me what to do. And you certainly don't get to decided where we go from here. _You_ left me 8 years ago when I needed you the most. _You_ fucked up our relationship, not me! _You…_ "

"You fucking cheated on me!" Ezra retorted, raising his voice, but not quite as much as Aria had. As much as he wanted to forgive, forget, and move on in the moment, Ezra didn't feel like being the only one notably in the wrong.

"You can't cheat on someone if you aren't together at the time that you get involved with another person!" Aria laughed maniacally despite herself. They'd had this same conversation years ago. It hadn't ended well, but it also hadn't ended their friendship. It was the straw before the straw that broke the camel's back.

"You still lied to me about it," Ezra growled.

"Cheating and lying are 2 very different things," Aria snarled, her heart racing in her chest.

"For God's sake, Nicole!" Ezra rolled his eyes and threw his shaking hands up in frustration before he realized his mistake.

The room fell silent. Had a dust mite shifted under the bed, Aria and Ezra would've heard it. Ezra's mix up was one that fit the moment perfectly in the most eerie of ways. It was a name flub that forced this fight years ago. One slip of the tongue and everything went wrong at once. In a way, the words exchanged that night had been almost worse than the ones exchanged the day their friendship officially ended. However, today, his mistake meant nothing. There was nothing on the line for either of them. All it caused were a repressed memory to resurface completely and a few seconds of awkward silence before one of them found the will to speak again.

"Wow. Things must have gotten pretty intense between you and Nicole for you to call me by her name during one of our fights," Aria folded her arms again and leaned back against the dresser.

Ezra nodded his head, sitting down on the bed once more. "Unfortunately they did. They still do." He grimaced. "She'd have a field day if she knew I called _you_ by _her_ name."

"Why?" Aria raised an eyebrow. She shifted her weight, uncomfortable with the level of familiarity she had with what had just happened. Not the yelling, but the sudden subject change to something calmer. Before she and Ezra fell apart, this was how most of their petty fights ended. Well, that's how the talking part ended. Usually they _ended ended_ with a heavy make out session or in bed. But they weren't friends and she didn't want them to be. They couldn't fall back in to long gone habits that should've been broken by now.

"I may have called her by your name a few times over the course of our relationship," Ezra admitted, rubbing his neck and avoiding eye contact.

"Oh," Aria stuck out her bottom lip. She felt the urge to ask what had provoked her name to fall from his lips in front of Nicole, but suppressed it. This wasn't supposed to be a therapy session. Once again, they were not friends.

"Did you ever tell Matt what happened between us?" Ezra asked.

"Yes," Aria answered curtly. "You know, I should probably be getting to…"

"I told Nicole. She's actually the only person who knows my version of the whole story," Ezra cut off Aria's attempt to exit the situation, but managed to spark her attention and force her to stay put.

"Your version of the story? What does that mean?"

"Well, there's your version, there's my version, and there's the truth. I'm not saying either of our versions are technically wrong, but we are both too blinded by our want to be right that we both omit parts of the story that make _us_ look wrong or bad," Ezra explained while he examined the hem of his shirt.

"I _was_ right," Aria narrowed her eyes. "I didn't do anything wrong. You assumed I 'cheated' when I didn't. I slept with Matt while you and I were on a break. Was it a mistake? Yes. We were drunk and it shouldn't have happened, but it did and you couldn't get over that. You were so upset that your 'one and only' had found someone else. But I didn't really. I came back to you. I realized that I wanted you, not him. And then when I got pregnant, you refused a paternity test. You refused to believe that I was carrying your baby. You pushed me so far out of your life that I felt dead to you."

"I refused the paternity test because you wouldn't involve Matt," Ezra started calmly, though it was clear to Aria by his change in breathing that he was quickly becoming riled up again. "You _refused_ to let him know that he could possibly be a father too because you were dead set on _me_ being Sophie's dad just because you liked me better."

"That didn't make it right for you to refuse the test!" Aria screeched. After the short break, they were now back to fighting. "I was scared, Ezra. And I came to you for comfort. I thought that maybe you'd be sympathetic since I was possibly carrying your child. All you had to do was take the test. If she wasn't yours, I would've gone to Matt."

"Like you went to Matt 3 weeks after we broke up when you got horny," Ezra scoffed. "You hurt me, Aria. You think that you did nothing wrong, but God, I don't think I've ever been more hurt than when I found out you hooked up with Matt once we got back together. And the way I found out…"

"That still doesn't make it right, Ezra!" Aria could feel her insides shaking with sobs she wouldn't let come out of her eyes.

Her whole body felt numb, just like it had the day Ezra found out about Matt, the day she found out she was pregnant at 18, the day she and Ezra had their falling out, and the day she gave birth to her first born without her best friend at her side. It dawned on her that this was the first time _they_ were talking about what happened. She'd talked with Matt about it for years, and even her mother a few times here and there. And Ezra had talked to Nicole. But the 2 of them had never discussed it in the aftermath, once their heads were clear. Although, it seemed like only _her_ head was clear right now. Ezra was still stuck in the same mindset he'd been when he was 18. He thought there was nothing wrong with shutting Aria out for 'trying to ruin his life with a child. His child.

"Maybe not, but I was scared too, Aria," Ezra's expression softened slightly. "And you weren't making it better by refusing to compromise."

"I didn't need to compromise, Ezra. I needed my best friend to be there for me and you weren't. You ran for the fucking hills because you didn't want to be held to a girl down in Rosewood. Well guess what? You ended up here anyway with a woman you're getting a divorce with. You said it yourself the other night: karma's a fucking bitch." Aria smirked despite feeling like she was going to pass out. She was going to need an entire bottle of vodka after leaving this room.

"I guess that's why you got pregnant," Ezra taunted. "Did I make some mistakes that day? Yes. Are there things that I regret? Yes. But do I think I was entirely in the wrong for the things that I said? No. You may have been right about the paternity test, but there were a lot of other things you were wrong about. You weren't a saint, Aria. You weren't all-mighty and all-knowing. You were in the wrong way more times than you were in the right leading up to the end of our friendship."

"Those things had nothing to do with my pregnancy," Aria hissed. "They were mistakes that I made, but none of them had anything to do with Sophie…"

"Except for Matt," Ezra corrected. "That mistake with him had everything to do with Sophie."

"No he didn't," Aria said before she could stop herself. Suddenly, her body froze and her eyes got wide, but her lips kept moving. Shock overtook her senses. She barely heard what she said next over the trembling sound of her nerves. Like bile she couldn't swallow, it came out. The one secret she'd never spoken aloud to anyone spilled out like water from behind a busted dam.

"Matt's not Sophie's father. You are."

 **A/N: Another cliff-hanger! Sorry! I was really tired as I wrote this and I couldn't think of another way to end it aside from a cliff-hanger, so I just went with it. I hope you guys enjoyed! Remember, what was revealed here isn't the whole story. I know Ezra doesn't look like the most stand-up guy here, but there is more to what happened and it will be revealed soon. Also, I can promise that once they get over this hump, things will get better and start heading in the right (romantic) direction. It is coming, I promise.**

 **I am going out to the UK for 2 weeks on Friday, so I'm going to try to update twice before then so you guys aren't waiting 3 weeks to get some resolution to what happens. I'll try to post on Tuesday and then again on Thursday or early Friday before I leave. In the meantime, please let me know your thoughts on this chapter and predictions for the future by reviewing. Those are always extremely motivating.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

_2005_

The house was completely empty, save Aria herself. Ella and Byron had begrudgingly gone out with a group of friends to celebrate someone's promotion and Mike had been invited to some kid's birthday party, leaving Aria all alone in 2000-plus square feet of space.

She'd contemplated inviting Ezra over for a little interrupted fun. Recently, Hanna had been talking non-stop about her and Hardy's romantic escapades and it had Aria feeling somewhat needy. She'd used every stolen moment she could to buy alone time with Ezra, but was tired of it being interrupted by another person, be it a friend or a parent. She just wanted to _be_ with Ezra and Ezra alone. She didn't care what they were doing- though she preferred to be making out or touching on him in some way- she just wanted to hang out with him for a few consecutive hours without the fear of being walked in on. However, her plan was foiled by Ezra's commitment to babysit his cousin's son, Malcolm, that night.

She'd then thought about hitting up her friends for a night out. They could get dressed up, go out to a nice restaurant, maybe see a movie, and then head back to Alison's house for a few drinks with her older brother, Jason, and his easy-on-the-eye friends. But ultimately, Aria decided against it. She was sick of hearing about all of the R-rated things that Alison and Hanna constantly bragged about doing. She was sick of hearing about what body parts went where and how she, Spencer, and Emily were missing out. She was sick of not being able to relate. And she was sick of having to keep her mouth shut about Ezra, though by the way her friends acted around the 2 of them whenever they all hung out, she was pretty sure they already knew their secret.

So instead of a date night or a night out on the town she'd seen way too much of, Aria found herself having a night in, sitting on her couch and watching reruns of _Friends_ with a bowl of ice cream in her lap, no makeup on, and her hair up in a bun. Her laptop sat on the coffee table, open, and displaying her Myspace page. Every once in awhile she'd refresh it, only to see every single one of her friends having way more fun than she was at the moment. But on the upside, she was way more comfortable in her sweats than they were in their heels.

Sometime around 10 pm, Aria fell asleep. And sometime around 10:30 pm, Aria's phone started ringing nonstop, jerking her awake and instantly putting her in a foul mood. She liked to say that she wasn't a morning person, but really, she was just a 'give me an hour after you wake me up at any time of the day before you start speaking to me' person. Right now was a perfect example of that. For the self-proclaimed night owl, 10:30 ought to be the beginning of her prime-time. She should be fully awake and full of energy. Instead, she was irritable and grumpy, a product of her brief nap.

Her mood was instantly altered, however, when she saw the caller ID displayed on her screen. _Ezra Fitz._ A warm smile ghosted her lips, alleviating her body of all feelings of sleep and frustration. Suddenly, she couldn't be happier to be awake than she was at that very moment.

"Hey babe," Aria mused after accepting the call and bringing the phone to her ear.

"Aria, thank God," Ezra's voice came through the receiver sounding out of breath and worn out. Her heart upped its tempo, while her mind whizzed and whirled with all of the outlandish reasons for this phone call. Had Ezra gotten hurt? Had Malcolm? What if he was calling her when he needed to be calling 9-1-1? Surely he wasn't that stupid, right? Had someone tried to break into his cousin's house while he was there and he'd gotten scared?

And that's when she heard it. The faint, but growing sound of a small child screaming and crying in the way every child does when they throw a tantrum. Aria listened for a few seconds. Then, it clicked. Ezra couldn't get the kid to shut up and was calling her for help.

"Malcolm won't stop crying," Ezra's voice cracked as if he were about to join the kid in his fit as well. "It's been an hour and nothing I've done has worked. Please, you've got to help me."

Aria bit down on her lip, trying her best not to bust out laughing. She could imagine getting this phone call as an adult. She would leave her child with their father, Ezra, for a peaceful girl's night out, only to be summoned back home a few hours too early because daddy couldn't handle the baby like mommy could. The fake scenario released a million butterflies into her stomach. What a sweet thing to imagine, and God, how she wanted it. But not any time soon, especially if Ezra couldn't even handle babysitting for 1 night without begging for help. No, Ezra did not need to be a father any time in the near future.

"Try putting on his favorite show," Aria suggested. When she used to babysit for a woman at church, she'd learned that distraction was the best pacifier.

"Don't you think I've already tried that?" Ezra snapped. "I've been listening to the Elmo talk for like 45 minutes. Aria, I'm going crazy. Please, help me out."

"What do you want me to do?" Aria stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned forward on her elbows. She felt like she had a pretty good idea of what Ezra wanted her to do, so she prepared herself to stand up and leave her post of 4 hours.

"Come over and calm him down," Ezra commanded rather than asked. "I can text you the address. It's only like a few streets over from ours. You can ride your bike."

Aria sighed. She looked like shit. Shittier than she'd really like to look in front of her boyfriend. And she didn't think Ezra would be okay with her asking for half an hour to get ready before going over and taking over. But shitty looking or not, time with Ezra was time with Ezra. Malcolm was only 1 or 2 years old. Chances were he'd be out like a light the second he stopped crying. In fact, he was probably crying _because_ he was tired. So, once they put him to bed, they'd have the remaining time to snuggle on the couch, kiss, or do whatever their hearts desired. Aria just hoped that Ezra's heart didn't desire passing out from exhaustion.

"Okay," Aria nodded, though he couldn't see her. "Send me the address, let me put on a bra, and I'll be over in a minute."

She could hear Ezra smirk through the phone as he retorted with a surprisingly sexual comment given the predicament he was currently in. "Or you could skip putting on the bra and get here faster. Both of those things would make me pretty happy."

Once again, as if Ezra could see her, Aria covered her chest, which was only hidden by a thin layer of fabric from her tank top, with her hand. "Not a chance. I'll be there in 5."

Ezra chuckled, "See you then. Thanks, love."

"Mhmm," Aria rolled her eyes as she pushed herself off of the couch and padded up toward her bedroom. "If I get there and he's silent, you owe me half of whatever your cousin pays you. And if I manage to quite him down in less than 10 minutes, I get a third. Got it?"

"Ma'am yes ma'am."

Line Break

15 minutes later and Aria had not only acquired a third of Ezra's pay, but his utmost respect and admiration, and a million tiny hugs from the sleeping baby in her arms. She knew she should lie Malcolm down in his crib, but she just couldn't let him go quite yet.

Right away, she was taken by the child's sweet, crying face. She'd instantly dropped to her knees in the living room where Malcolm was lying on his back, kicking and screaming, and scooped him up into her arms, cooing and whimpering all the while. She'd held his head against her collar bone and rubbed his back gently, while rocking him back and forth and whispering lullabies in his ear. She'd sang him 1 of her old favorites, _Hush Little Baby._ Every few words, she'd press a soothing kiss to his temple until finally, his screaming tapered off and became tiny grunts. And after a few verses, those grunts turned in to snores. She smiled. Ezra stared in complete disbelief.

With a sleeping baby on her shoulder, Aria bounced gently around the kitchen while she got herself a glass of water, still humming her song under her breath.

"You're a natural," Ezra whispered from his place at the bar. "I didn't know you were that good with kids."

"I love them," Aria shrugged. "But I guess not many people know that about me. I mean, I don't spend a great deal of time around them so I don't know why anyone would. But yeah, I love them and I've always had some sort of strong maternal nature about me, according to the people I used to babysit for when I was 12."

"They're right. You're going to be a great mom some day," Ezra smiled as he reached out for Aria's passing body and pulled her and the baby close to him.

She leaned back into him and let her head fall back onto his shoulder. Her eyes were met with what seemed to be a 20-foot gap between her head and the ceiling. Circular lights were fixated above them, illuminating the bar and most of the space around them. To the right, there was the balcony that overlooked the living room. To the left, there were long windows, partially covered by thick, elaborate curtains.

A silly, be relevant thought snuck its way into Aria's brain and pushed itself to the forefront. This house, as well as all of the houses surrounding it had to cost a fortune. _Her_ house had to cost a fortune. One day, Aria would have to start saving up for a fortune to put towards a house because that's what adults did. They spent money on things like houses, and cars, and groceries. In just 3 short years, Aria would be considered an adult. And she would have to start spending her money on adult things. That would be her life. _This_ would be her life.

Once day, Aria would have a house like this. She'd have a car and her own groceries. She'd also have a husband and a baby. Ezra could possibly be that future husband. Of course, Malcolm would never be her baby, but _someone_ would. And it was very possible that this very moment would repeat itself years down the road. Late nights, baby on her shoulder, Ezra's arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close after they'd finally put their child to sleep, and just reveling in the silence.

"What are you thinking about?" Ezra nestled his lips against her ear, breaking her of her trance-like state.

"Having all of this with you one day," Aria lifted her head and turned to look him in the eyes. She watched his pupils dilate and fill with love at her confession. She grinned. "I mean, I know we're still young, but one day this could be our lives. I really want it to be our lives. This house, this lifestyle. A family."

Ezra leaned forward slightly and pressed a quick kiss to her nose before offering her a wide smile of his own. "I do too. And I think we will achieve it. I'll be an engineer. You'll be a successful journalist. We'll definitely be able to afford this lifestyle. My cousin's a professor and his wife is a nurse, so I think we could even do better if we wanted. And we can have as many children as you want and take them one vacation to Disney World and New York and the Bahamas without ever worrying about our bank accounts running out of money. We'll be happily married and when we're old enough to retire, we'll go away to some beach and grow old together by the palm trees."

Aria giggled. For someone who was as math and science oriented as Ezra, he sure was creative and hopelessly romantic when it came thinking of ways to make Aria happy. For his 15th birthday, Ezra invited Aria out to his lake house and the 2 spent the whole day on the lake with his family, which was typical. But when the sun went down, Ezra decided to screw tradition and _surprise Aria_ on his special day by taking her out to a secluded area and having a midnight picnic and stargazing session. At one point, he even set his phone in the grass and played music so the 2 of them could slow dance in their pajamas and bare feet, just like the movies. He seemed too good to be true, which is why Aria had half a mind to believe his long-shot promise of a life-style. She knew that Ezra would do everything in his power to give her that exact life when they got older should he be given the chance.

"Promise?" Aria stuck out her pinky and raised an eyebrow. She knew that the promise was more than likely an empty one to make, but she didn't care. It was fun to pretend that they might some day have everything they wanted without much of a struggle.

Ezra smirked, "Put the baby down."

Aria furrowed her brow, confused by Ezra's odd answer to her question. "What?"

"Put Malcolm down and I'll make you the promise."

Slowly, Aria made her way over to the portable crib that Ezra had set up in the living room and place the sweet baby down, pausing for a moment to untangle her hair from his little fist before returning to Ezra, who was now standing. He held out his hand, but not in the way one would to give a pinky promise. It was vertical, palm flat out towards her like a high-5, although instantly, Aria knew that wasn't what it was. A smile overthrew her neutral lips as she rolled her eyes and let small laughing sounds shake her shoulders. "You're not serious."

"I'm dead serious," Ezra winked. "You said it yourself, what, 8 years ago? Once a member, always a member? C'mon, do it with me right now. The Secret Society of Elite Spies handshake." He wiggled his fingers in anticipation.

"That was a handshake, Ezra, not a promise," Aria giggled, reluctantly placing her palm on his, a bit embarrassed that she still remembered the whole thing.

"It bound us together in the Secret Society of Elite Spies, which bound us together for life. It's _kind of like_ a promise," Ezra scooted a little closer to Aria's body, letting her feel the wind of his breath on her face. "I think we should even do this at our wedding, since we'll be vowing to spend eternity together then."

"Oh my God, no," Aria shook her head rapidly, laughing all the while. "Can we just kiss like all normal couples at our wedding?"

Ezra removed his hand from hers and slipped it around her waist before yanking her closer, causing her to stumble a bit as she settled into her new positon against his body. "We aren't a normal couple though, Ar. We've known each other since birth. We've grown up together. We started as best friends and grew into something more. That's not normal. That's rare."

"Rare or not, we are not going to do a handshake after our vows. The priest says 'you may now kiss the bride' not 'you may now slap the bride's hands'," She rolled her eyes, keeping a smile plastered on her face to let Ezra know that she wasn't really angry or annoyed.

"Well we've got a lot of time to debate the subject. Your stubborn ass may come around," Ezra kissed the corner of her mouth, missing her snarky reaction.

"I'd put money on it that I won't, just like I put money on the fact that I could quite Malcolm down in less than 10 minutes. I always win, Fitz. Always. And I'm always right, so don't you forget it," Aria smirked.

"Are you sure we aren't married already? You sure as hell sound like my wife," Ezra teased, rubbing his nose against hers and admiring the way her hazel eyes shined up at him.

"Maybe we are," Aria shrugged. "You may now kiss the bride, by the way."

With that, the bantering stopped. Their lips met for a tender kiss and their bodies relaxed against one another's. They knew they couldn't get too crazy, despite their minds and other regions screaming at them to intensify what they had going on. There was a baby in the room after all. They had to keep it pretty G-rated. But in the moment, they were alright with that. They had all of the time in the world to let things heat up, to let hands roam and pleasure overtake their senses. They had the rest of their lives to be with one another.

Or so they thought.

 **A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short. It's kind of a filler, but it's full of fluff so I hope that made up for it. Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter! Leave your comments on this chapter. Let me know what you thought and what you think might happen in the next one. Next chapter, the cliff hanger from chapter 14 will be resolved and I promise it'll be a lot longer than this one. I'll update on Thursday or earlier Friday, then I will be gone for 2 weeks.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed. Again, please review! Updating only 1-2 days apart is hard, so reviews are extremely motivating. Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	16. Chapter 16

_2016_

"Again, I'm sorry this is so last minute. It just hit me out of nowhere like a ton of bricks. Thanks for being so understanding, Em. I'll see you on Saturday. Bye."

It was funny, laughable, even, the irony of her current situation. As Aria pulled the phone away from her ear, watching herself in the mirror of Ezra's hotel bathroom, she realized the cynical, comical factor of what she'd just done. She had just lied to Emily. She had watched her mouth move in her reflection, forming a believable story about falling ill just minutes before her shift at The Brew was supposed to start, and effectively pulled one over on her boss and one of her best friends. To say she'd always been completely honest with Emily over the course of their friendship would be false. No one was ever completely honest with anyone ever, no matter how hard they try to sell that they are. It's just not plausible. However, it is possible to be 70, 80, even 90% honest with someone all of the time, and that's how Aria was with Emily. Being honest with Emily had always been like second nature. Like her old friend Alison, Emily had that presence about her that made anyone feel warm and welcome, like you could tell her anything and she wouldn't judge you. And unlike Alison, Emily actually _wouldn't_ judge. That was something that Aria always found to be so special about the brunette. So sacred. She was trustworthy and had a big heart. And Aria had just shit all over that.

But that wasn't the funny part. The part that made twisted giggles threaten to push past the skin of Aria's lips was the fact that she'd just blatantly lied to her friend, her boss so that she could spend more time with her ex-everything and newly-clued-in baby daddy. She told a warped truth to a person that she trusted and respected so that she could explain a nearly decade old lie to a man she wanted nothing to do with. Ladies and gentlemen, a day in the life of Aria Montgomery. It was fan-fucking-tastic.

Her stomach rolled at the thought of having to step back into the room and pick up the conversation where they'd left it. Up until Aria decided it was time to call in sick to work, the former friends had danced around the shrapnel dispersed by the bomb she'd just dropped on Ezra. Essentially, they'd only engaged in small talk about _their_ daughter. He had asked how long she'd known. Aria admitted she'd that she'd officially known for 5 years, but had had a hunch since the moment Sophie was born. Ezra responded with a breathy laugh and a question that hurt Aria's heart every time she'd asked it to herself. Did Matt know? The answer was no, at least not to her knowledge. He never asked questions. He just went along for the ride until the day he died.

Aria knew that her reentry to the room would signal the start of the heavier conversation. She'd probably cry. Lord knows her eyes had already welled up in her solitude. She wasn't sure what Ezra's reactions would be. As of right now, he was quite. Probably in a state of shock. He had a daughter. He'd had a daughter for 8 years.

Letting out a long sigh, Aria stuffed her phone into her back pocket and pivoted to the side. She laid a gentle hand over her abdomen and rubbed small circles, just as she had while she was pregnant with Sophie. In the mirror, she could almost make out the smallest of bumps that had been present 8 years ago, the first time she tried to tell Ezra he was going to be a dad. Suddenly, she wasn't sure what was easier- trying to convince him then, or actually telling him now. Both times had their pros and cons. When they were 18, the pro had been they were still friends. She assumed he'd accept whatever she had to tell him with ease. The con had been that that wasn't at all what happened and they were both too irrational to know how to handle the situation properly. At 26, the pro was that they had matured. Their brains processed information better. The con was that they were no longer friends, and honestly, Aria wasn't too keen on having Ezra in Sophie's life. Although, now, she was pretty sure that keeping them apart would be next to impossible.

Slowly, Aria let her hand fall from its place on her stomach and reached for the door handle. The sooner she faced Ezra again, the sooner she got this whole thing over with.

He was sitting right where she'd left him, on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his head in his hands. In the silence as she padded towards him, Aria swore that she heard him sniffle. She braced herself for his watery eyes and red nose as he lifted his head upon hearing her reenter the space. However, that's not what she got. His eyes were dry. His nose was its normal color. Though, his eyes boasted the same far-off look they had ever since she spilled the news. She could see his confusion, disbelief, and guilt running in circles, flashing across his dilated pupils. The same baby blues that _their_ daughter donned were dim and lifeless. Like Aria's fake illness, this news had hit him hard and thrown him for a loop.

Without saying a word, Aria took a seat in the desk chair and listened to it creek beneath her weight as she stared at Ezra with unmoving eyes. A part of her felt like she was waiting for him to move, to scare her, like she was in a haunted house and couldn't tell if the "mannequin" she was passing was a real person or not. But most of her knew he wouldn't. He was too busy using up his energy to process her words to make any kind of sudden movement.

Ultimately, it wasn't his action that scared her, but rather, his voice. It cut through the stiff silence, sounding slightly stronger than Aria had been expecting. "How did you find out?"

It was a question she'd expected him to ask first and when he hadn't, she'd been shocked. Now, she was shocked he was asking it at all. Aria had been anticipating him to jump right into the "you have to let me see her all of the time now" argument, but she'd take this over that any day. "Well, I…I told you. I had a hunch from the day she was born. I looked into her eyes and they were yours. She has your eyes. And…and I knew that because I'd spent my entire life looking into your eyes, so when I saw her, I knew. But I didn't want to believe it. For awhile, I deluded myself into believing the story Matt told as an explanation for her odd eye color. Apparently, his great grandmother had blue eyes. It made enough sense to him, so I tried to make it make sense to me too."

"I meant, how did you find out for sure?" Ezra borderline growled at her.

"Oh," Aria sighed. "I never wanted Matt to even think there was a possibility that Sophie wasn't his, so I never asked him to do a paternity test. I…I told him that he was the only guy I'd slept with for months at the time I got pregnant so that he would think she was 100% his. I know, that's awful, but I couldn't have him reacting the way you did. Sophie needed a father and there _was_ a possibility she was his. So I even brought up the option. But, um, shortly after he died, I had to know. I had to know the one thing that had been bugging me for years. So, I contacted a place that would do a DNA test. I told them that Matt was dead, but I still had a lot of his things to collect DNA off of, including his toothbrush. I sent that in along with a sample of Sophie's DNA and a few months later...well I got the letter saying that Matt was not her father. And since he wasn't, that meant that you…you were."

That was the truth, but it wasn't all of it. What Aria wasn't telling Ezra were the details, the spaces in between. She and Matt were married for almost 4 years before he died and Aria had felt horribly guilty and suspicious for 3 of them. There were so many times that she came close to saying something. So many times she almost ruined their marriage and tore apart their family. But she just couldn't do it. Not only did she was to reject the idea of Ezra being Sophie's father as much as possible, but she also loved Matt and wanted to keep him happy. He was so proud of his little family. On many occasions, he had told Aria about how she and Sophie were what got him through the toughest days over seas. She couldn't take his "rocks" away from him. It would've done more harm than good. Plus, if she did tell him what she suspected to be the truth, Sophie would've have been fatherless years before she was actually fatherless. That little girl didn't deserve that.

The guilt killed Aria. Every time Matt would come home, his presence would alleviate it for a short while. But the minute he left, the force of the supposed secret would knock Aria onto her back again, each time being a little worse than the last.

After Matt's death, when Aria confirmed her fears, she cried for days. Sophie was too young to remember her mother's multiple breakdowns, but was old enough to understand that mommy was sad and needed comforting. Only, that made it worse. Aria shipped Sophie off to stay with Ella for a few days, lying and claiming she was a constant reminder of Matt and Aria just needed more time. It was a horribly selfish thing to do, but Aria was at a loss for another solution. Once she was alone, Aria drowned out her sorrows the same way she coped with her parent's divorce: drinking. To this day, there is still a span of 3-4 days that Aria has absolutely no recollection of.

"So you've known that I was Sophie's father since she was 3-years-old?" Ezra ran his hands down the sides of his nose, letting his eyes roll back. A sign of exasperation, not annoyance.

"Yes," Aria nodded. She feared what response would follow.

A small, breathy chuckle fell from his lips, though he didn't smile. Aria watched as he directed his eyes to his hands, which were now folded in his lap, and began fiddling with his thumbs. She furrowed her brow at his motions just as he began to speak. "I would ask why you didn't contact me, but I already know the answer. After what happened between us, I get it. I'm the last person you want to father Sophie and the last person you figured you could call up and ask to fill in the role. To be honest, 5 years ago, I wouldn't have done it. I probably wouldn't have even picked up the phone when I saw your name come across the screen. I was just starting my life with Nicole," He let out a long winded sigh. "But, still, I wish I'd known, though I don't blame you for not reaching out."

"Thank you," was all Aria could say. She was taken aback by his calm, rational response. She felt her heart twinge with a wish that Ezra had been 26 when he'd gotten her pregnant rather than 18. Things would've gone over much better if that were the case.

"You know," A small, barely-there smile tugged on the corner's of Ezra's mouth. It reminded Aria of one of nostalgia or sweet sorrow, and in return, she mimicked him before he could even voice the rest of his sentence. "The first time I saw pictures of Sophie, my heart dropped. Her eyes hinted at me too. Of course, I never didn't see her in person for years, so it was easy for me to pretend it was just guilt for leaving you that made me see the resemblance. But I did...I did wonder."

"I'd ask why you never reached out, but…" Aria parroted Ezra's words from earlier, only this time the backed a different cause.

"I thought about it," Ezra rubbed the back of his neck, bringing his eyes up to meet Aria's for the first time since they'd started talking. "Especially after I moved back to Rosewood. I thought about cornering you, which now that I think about it, sounds really creepy." He laughed. She cracked a smile that looked more like a grimace. "But I did. I thought about confronting you, finally asking for the paternity test, but I knew that wouldn't be fair. You had your life and your ways and I wasn't a part of that anymore. I chose not to be. I couldn't just insert myself into your life because the timing was right for me. And that's why…that's why I'm not going to ask you to let me in now either."

Aria nearly choked on Ezra's words. _That_ was not where she had been expecting to this conversation to go. She was waiting for the arguing, the fighting, the tears. She was anticipating choice words to be thrown around as well as a few household objects. She was expecting the storm out, Ezra tailing after he, screaming some nonsense about how inconsiderate she was being. She thought they'd be having the same kind of fight they had 8 years ago, only this time, it would be over the complete opposite scenario. Hell, they'd been working up to a fight that big with their banter from earlier that evening. A bomb this big should've exploded into the fight of all fights, yet somehow it didn't.

"Are you being serious?" Aria asked softly, afraid that if she spoke too loud, she'd burst the little bubble of eerie serenity they were currently in.

"Not what you were expecting to hear, I assume?" Ezra chuckled.

"Honestly, no."

"Well as much as I love fighting with you, I love talking to you like a civil human being even more. These past 24 hours have reminded me of that. We had a good thing going for 18 years and I think it'd be nice if we achieve that again some day. Like I said last night, I'm tired of being enemies. I want to be your friend, or at the very least, someone you smile at whenever I walk in to The Brew for some coffee. And maybe one day, if I'm lucky, you'll let me talk to Sophie for more than 5 minutes, because I really would like to get to know…my daughter better." Aria could tell that Ezra was uncomfortable with the last few words he uttered, but sincere about everything else.

That's when something clicked in Aria's head. Something she should've realized years ago, but was too stubborn, too immature to acknowledge. The past was the past. She couldn't go back and change it. Did Ezra hurt her? Yes, more than anyone ever had. But there was a time that he made her happier than anyone, even Matt, ever had. For 18 years, Ezra's friendship meant the world to her. So yeah, he'd hurt her, but he had made a mistake. So had she. They were young and stupid and scared. They were selfish, but they'd grown up. Or at least, Ezra had. Aria still held onto their grudge like it was a teddy bear. _She_ was the problem at the moment. Not him.

Maybe this divorce had made Ezra come around. Maybe he came around the second Aria walked out of his life. It didn't matter. Whatever had just clicked in Aria's brain, had clicked for Ezra years ago. It was time to forgive. Not forget, not embrace him with open arms, but forgive. She could do that. And then maybe one day, she _could_ allow him more than 5 minutes with her, his, their daughter.

"Wow," Aria said. "I guess we've matured a great deal within these past few years, because I honestly wasn't expecting this conversation to go this easily."

"Me neither," Ezra laughed lowly. "I think it's because I don't have the energy to fight anymore. You drained my daily maximum right before you broke the news."

Aria cocked her head to the side, not fully understanding what he meant.

"I'm tired of fighting," Ezra sighed, running his hands through his hair. "Not just with you, but in general. All I do is fight. I fight with Nicole. I fight with my lawyer. I fight with landlords. I'm fighting with you again. And I'm just sick of it. I think we lucked out. I probably would've raised my voice at least once, but God I'm tired of doing that. I just don't have it in me anymore."

The corners of Aria's mouth pulled upward into a sympathetic smile. She knew how she felt. She'd had the same feelings towards crying after Matt died. It was all she did for weeks, months even, and then one day, she decided she was done. When the next thing came around for her to cry at, she held it in. She blinked and swallowed and chewed on her lip until the tears went away and she left with a dry face. It wasn't that she didn't want to cry. It was that she wouldn't allow herself to. And that's exactly what Ezra was doing here. It wasn't that he didn't want to yell. Yell at Aria for not saying something sooner. Yell because he was angry with himself. Yell because their lives could've been so much simpler if they'd just married one another 8 years ago. It was that he couldn't allow himself to. He just couldn't do it.

As a result of his calm demeanor, Aria had been able to remain calm, something that was a rarity for her, especially around Ezra. He knew better than anyone how to get her riled up. When she was younger, she had thought that his ability to egg on her passionate attitude, be it good or bad, with his own behavior was a sign of how right they were for one another. In reality, it was only a testament to how stubborn each of them was.

But she liked this. She liked staying calm. She liked being rational and talking things through. It was a much nicer way of handling things, especially things of such magnitude like this.

With a sudden burst of courage, Aria made the bold decision to move from her seat on the chair to the spot next to him on the bed. If they were being civil, their proximity shouldn't matter. She had no reason to keep him at arm's length away anymore…physically at least. Aria also knew that by sitting closer to Ezra, she was more likely to get an answer to her next question by making him believe she was there for him, that she was his friend again. "What happened between you and Nicole?"

It was a silly thing, but deep down, Aria had always been kind of jealous of Nicole. She'd gotten the life that Aria had always wanted. A life with Ezra. She knew her nose didn't belong in their business, but she wanted to stick it there anyway. It was times like this when the high school Aria that died too soon due to pregnancy reared its head again and made its presence known.

"It's a long story," Ezra dismissed the question with a wave of his hand. "It's one that I don't particularly want to get in to right now, either."

"I've got time," Aria shrugged.

"It's not a time thing. It's an I don't want to talk about it right now thing," Ezra shook his head, rubbing his palms on his knees as if he were trying to get rid of sweat. "But since you've got time, can I ask you something?"

Aria hesitated, but nodded nonetheless, reminding herself that she'd forgiven him and to be open to anything he asked. They weren't friends yet, but they were going to try to get there. Someday.

"How much did Sophie weigh when she was born?" Ezra tilted his head so that he could look at Aria.

She leaned forward and rested her head on her knuckles, making herself comfortable. They were about to play 20 questions, but instead of it eventually coming to the question "how far have you gone with a guy?" like it did when they were teenagers, it was going to come to "when did Sophie learn to potty on her own?"

"6 pounds, 11 ounces," Aria closed her lids, seeing the number scrawled across them like a tattoo.

"What was her first word?" Ezra ran a finger along the pattern of the bedspread.

"Mama," Aria smiled to herself. She'd been so proud of her little girl when she'd uttered that word, and she'd teased Matt for a solid month about being the favorite parent.

"How old was she when she took her first steps?"

"9 months."

"Potty trained?"

"18 months. Well, she still wore diapers to bed, but during the day she wore big girl panties." Aria nearly cringed at the 'mom' talk she'd just used in front of Ezra.

"When did she lose her first tooth?" Ezra brought his moving hand back into his lap.

"When she was 5."

"Does she like school?"

"She loves it."

"Favorite subject?"

"English, just like her mama."

"How often is she, uh, hospitalized for her CF?"

"About every 2 years. We're lucky."

The conversation went on like this for the next hour. Question. Answer. Question. Answer. All about Sophie. Although, Aria didn't mind, seemingly doing a complete 180 from last night when she'd instructed Ezra specifically not to mention her. The small smile on Ezra's face that grew a millimeter with each new revelation told Aria that he appreciated her openness. In return, Aria appreciated his level-headed manner that had helped her keep her cool all night as well. However, her willingness to share actually came from the fact that she absolutely loved talking about Sophie and had a hard time reigning in her mommy-talk once she got started. But Ezra didn't need to know that.

From the corner of Aria's eye, she watched the digital clock on the nightstand change from 10:59 to 11, signaling the end of the shift she was supposed to be working and her time to bow out. A wave of unwarranted sadness washed over her body as she stood up from her place and moved to grab her purse. It reminded her of the times she would have to leave Ezra after an incredibly perfect secret date or an afternoon of love making. She felt heavy, like she didn't want to go. And that made her a bit uneasy. During their talk, Aria had acknowledged that she'd missed Ezra, but she still wasn't ready to call him her friend again, much less anything else. This feeling felt like a betrayal of the heart to the brain.

Like a puppy, Ezra followed Aria to the door and stared at her intently as she opened it. As a courtesy, she turned to say goodbye before disappearing out of his sight for God-knows how long.

"I'm not exactly sure what to say right now," Aria rocked back onto her heels, looking every where but Ezra's eyes. "Thanks for taking the news so well? I don't know. I hadn't really planned on telling you that tonight, so I didn't practice an exit speech."

Ezra gave a gentle half-smile and a pity laugh, "You can just say goodnight. Oh, and maybe give me an estimate on when I'll see you again?"

"Ezra," Aria started. "We aren't…I don't…I don't know what we are as of tonight. I can't call us friends after one decent conversation that revolved around my daughter."

"Our daughter," Ezra corrected weakly.

"Right," Aria looked up at him through hooded lids. " _Anyways,_ we aren't friends. I don't want to really be making plans to see you again." Ezra's face fell. "But, we took a step in the right direction tonight, so…I open The Brew on Saturday. If you happen to need a cup of coffee, I'll be there."

He grinned widely as her hint to the fact that she was coming around to the idea of rebuilding what they once had. She smiled too. For awhile, her happiness derived from Ezra's failures, Ezra's pain. But now, it was back to what it used to be. Her happiness came from his happiness. She took a second to revel in the warmth of that moment. Damn it felt good. She'd been cold towards him for so long, and this thaw of her internal Ice Age was much needed.

"I do enjoy my morning cup of Joe," Ezra winked.

Aria giggled, "Goodbye, Ezra."

"Goodbye, Aria. Drive safe," Ezra grabbed the door handle from Aria as she let go and stepped into the hallway.

"I will."

As Aria took her first few steps down the hallway, she could feel Ezra's eyes on her, watching her to protect her as if she could possibly run into any trouble in the short distance his eyes could follow her. It wasn't until she rounded the corner that she heard the door click shut behind her. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth to keep from barring her hundredth unanticipated smile of the night.

In a fleeting thought, she considering bringing Sophie to work with her on Saturday. She was always begging to come along anyway. Maybe Saturday would just so happen to be the day Aria complied with her daughter's bizarre wish to spend the day at the coffee shop rather than with her friends or the grandmother who liked to buy her things. And maybe, when Ezra stopped by, he could keep what Aria was sure to be a very bored Sophie company. She could run over a couple of ground rules with Ezra: do not tell, hint, or even pretend that you're her father. Do not treat her like your daughter. Do not tell her anything that she does not need to know. What could one conversation between the 2 hurt?

However, maybe Aria would wake up tomorrow and realize she'd made a mistake. Maybe she'd decide that reconnecting with Ezra was a bad idea. Maybe she'd want to cut off all contact with him again. Maybe she'd feel the urge to pack Sophie up and leave Rosewood without a trace just so Ezra had no chance of ever finding them again. Maybe she'd revert back to the comfort of her old grudge instead of taking a risk on a new experience. Maybe she'd see Ezra again and wan to slit his throat rather than hug him.

But then again, maybe she wouldn't.

 **A/N: No cliffhanger this time. I didn't want to be cruel with this 2-week hiatus coming up. But things are on the up and up for Ezria, so that's something to look forward to. Thank you guys for your wonderful reviews on my last chapter. Let me know what you thought about this one and give me your predictions for what you think will/should happen next! If I could hit 270 reviews by the time I update next, that'd be awesome.**

 **I leave tomorrow for Amsterdam and won't be back until July 30** **th** **, so don't expect an update until around the 1** **st** **of August. However, just because I won't be updating doesn't mean I won't be reading reviews/ thinking about/ writing more of this story in the notes of my phone, so please leave suggestions and comments so I have something to do on the 9-hour plane ride and in my hotel.**

 **If you guys care at all about my trip and want to follow me on my social medias, they are as follows: Insta &snapchat- erin_leigh98 Twitter- erinleigh98**

 **Thanks for reading! See y'all in 2 weeks.**

 **-Erin xoxo**

 **PS: The Ezria proposal (at least that's who I'm hoping the proposal is for) is next week on pll and I'm so excited. You better believe I'll be watching in the UK, haha.**


	17. Chapter 17

_2005_

This was the last place Aria wanted to be. Here, surrounded by her happy, giggling classmates, some of whom she considered to be her best friends. Here, clinching her fists and setting her jaw each time the crowd around her let out a cheer. Here, unable to escape the aroma of hot dogs and popcorn that wafted up through the bleachers and into her nostrils. Here, or anywhere, that wasn't home.

Although, home wasn't really home anymore. Home to Aria was a house where 4 people lived and loved every day. It was a place with a mom, a dad, a brother, and a sister. Family photos hung on the wall and each seat was taken every night at dinner. But, the Montgomery household wasn't like that nowadays.

For the past 2 weeks, Aria had been passing through the door of an unfamiliar building each day after school. A building where only 3 people lived, a mom, a brother, and a sister, and love was scarcely felt. A building where nails protruded from the wall in places where vacation pictures once hung. Every single frame that bore her father's face behind it had either been put in storage or hurled across the room and broken by her mother. There was an empty chair at the dinner table. Actually, there were 4. No one seemed to be able to muster the strength to have a good old fashioned "family" dinner since Byron moved out, taking his things and his mistress with him. So Ella, Mike, and Aria ate alone in their rooms; their sadness setting in more and more with each bite. Her childhood home had become an almost unrecognizable building, yet Aria still preferred it over any other setting for the time being.

She was too upset to be around her jubilant friends. She was too irritable to be bothered by her nosy teachers. And she was even too reserved to open up to her boyfriend and best friend. She'd pushed everyone out in order to stay in, unbothered and unmoved.

Tonight was the first night since her parents separated that Aria had done anything besides sit alone in bed and write about her feelings. However, she wasn't necessarily here by choice, but rather than…call it good-girlfriend obligation.

Homecoming was the next day, which meant that the homecoming football game was being played that night. It was tradition that the homecoming king and queen be crowned during halftime at the game, and while those titles were only open for seniors to compete for, the lower classes got to nominate "dukes" and "duchesses" for each grade level in order to fill the homecoming court. Ezra had been chosen as the sophomore class duke. How? Aria wasn't exactly sure. No one was. Every one assumed someone like Matt Callahan, the star lacrosse player, or even Hardy, the well-liked class clown, would get the nomination, but no. Ezra had. Now, he had to walk down the football field, arm in arm with sophomore class duchess and Toby's step-sister, Jenna Marshall in order to "formally" accept the title. And as his girlfriend, Aria felt compelled to be there to cheer him on.

And so she sat, butt cold against the metal bleachers and nerves twitching with disdain towards the commotion around her. She endured something that was almost physically paining her for him because he would have done the same for her. Despite her parents failed attempt at lasting love, Aria still believed that what she and Ezra had was real and she would continue to love and support him until he gave her a reason not to. Besides, she'd been a bitch to him these past couple of weeks, her emotions getting the best of her and causing her to snap at him more than once. She owed him this at the very least.

Aria pulled her jacket tighter around her petite frame as a breeze picked up near the end of the 2nd quarter. Her hair whipped around her face, briefly sticking to the blue and white stripes forcefully painted on her cheeks by Alison, who wanted her to match the rest of them in a photo they'd taken earlier. "You have to look like you have some school spirit," Ali had said as she smeared the paint across Aria's cheeks. Aria bit her tongue to keep from making any remarks she might later regret, but she didn't stop her eyes from rolling back into her head, making sure that Ali knew her words had pissed her off.

A few times throughout the 1st quarter, Hanna had tried to talk to Aria about divorce. Other than Ezra, Hanna was the only friend she had who'd been through her parents' messy divorce. And while Aria appreciated the effort, she'd shut Hanna down with every attempt, not really in the mood to discuss her feelings in between touch downs. Instead, Aria would change the subject to something lighter and simple, something that didn't take too much time to talk about, so that within a couple of minutes, she'd be left alone to her thoughts once again.

Her eyes followed the game, trying to force her brain to focus on the situation in front of her rather than the situation at home. Their team was on the 20-yard line, closest to their goal. Everyone around her was on their feet, anticipating another touch down before the clock ran out. If they scored, they'd tie up the game and they'd go into the 3rd quarter with a fighting chance. Aria didn't know much or really care much about football, but she knew that if the Rosewood Sharks didn't win this game, the school might fall into as deep a depression as she had recently.

Out of the corner of her eye, Aria saw movement near the opposite end zone. Turning her head from the game, she realized it was the homecoming court lining up to walk on to the field as soon as the clock hit 0. She squinted her eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of Ezra, but from where she was, she could only see figures, no details. All she knew was that he was wearing a dark gray suit with a red tie. He'd sent her a picture earlier that evening. She'd ignored it, not in the mood to send back a cute reply. But in her head, she'd thought he looked very handsome.

A loud roar erupted behind her. When she turned back to the game, she saw the football team jumping up and down and the number on the score board jump up 6 points.

She noticed the time left on the clock. 5 seconds. That left enough time for the kicker to kick the field goal and then it was finally half time. Once Ezra's name was announced and Aria cheered sufficiently enough, she could leave. In about 40 minutes, Aria would be home, alone and somewhat happy. She could text Ezra a congratulations and maybe give him a call later that night if she was up to it. But whether she was up to it or not, either way, she wouldn't be here anymore.

A small part of her kicked herself for having those thoughts. She usually loved this type of atmosphere. She loved being with her friends, laughing, taking cute pictures, and dancing. She loved getting the opportunity to be loud. And she loved every moment she could get with Ezra. When he'd first gotten the nomination, Aria had planned on staying until after the game and stealing a kiss from the duke of the sophomore class in the middle of the field once most people had gone home. Her friends, who now knew about their relationship thanks to Hanna and Hardy and their slowly regained memories of Aria's birthday party earlier that year, could cover them and keep watch. It would have almost been a magical moment. But now, as the hermit she'd turned into, the thought of staying any longer repulsed her. She really didn't want to. And she hated that.

2 weeks was a long time to grieve, she knew that. But she just wasn't ready to immerse herself into complete socialization just yet. She needed a little more time to process. She'd let 1 more week go by before she got back out there. Yes, 1 more week should be enough.

The field goal was good and the crowd went wild, knocking Aria out of her self-hating trance. The clock had reached 0 and the marching band was making their way out onto the field to play the traditional homecoming theme that accompanied the court on their walk.

Sighing unnecessarily loud, Aria pushed herself up from the bleachers and began forcing her way to the front railing so that Ezra could actually see her face as he made his way down the field. It was one thing to say she'd been there in a text. It was another if he actually saw her.

The opening chords of "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" lilted forward from the band as the freshman duke and duchess were sent down the field, smiling from ear to ear. A small smile of her own tugged at the corners of Aria's lips as if their happiness was contagious. Maybe it was. Aria could imagine how amazing it must feel to walk down the football field, donning a crown and knowing that your classmates basically voted for you to be royalty for the night.

But just as quickly as her smile had appeared, it vanished and morphed into a frown. Ezra was probably just as happy to have been nominated and chosen to be sophomore duke as those freshmen were and Aria hadn't let him be excited about it at all these past 2 weeks. All she'd done was bitch at him and ignore his texts. And even though he said he understood, it must've been hard to keep his enthusiasm inside.

"Here comes your man," Spencer teased lowly from Aria's side.

Aria followed Spencer's gaze back to the back of the field where Ezra was holding out his arm for Jenna to take before walking to the front. He looked overjoyed, causing Aria's heart to flutter and her smile to reappear. She loved seeing him happy, even if she wasn't happy herself- something she should've remembered while she was freezing him out the past few weeks.

"There's that smile we all know and love," Spencer mused, giving the smaller girl a side hug. "Is that all it takes? Putting Ezra in front of you in a suit and crown? Because if so, I'll let him know and we can make this a daily thing. You'll basically be sleeping with well dressed royalty."

Aria let out a short, breathy laugh and shook her head. "Not necessary. And we aren't sleeping together." _Not yet, anyway,_ she wanted to add. They'd come close shortly before Aria's parents dropped the divorce bomb on her. Or rather, before her father dropped the mistress bomb on her mother and her mother dropped the "move out now" bomb on her father. The divorce bomb came a few days later and really felt more like an aftershock than an explosion, though, it still hurt like hell.

"Ugh, why not?" Spencer groaned. "We have a poll going and you only have like 1 month before I lose."

Aria flashed a smile to Ezra as he rounded the corner to stand to the side at the front of the field, locking eyes with her and returning the gesture, before she turned to glare at Spencer. "You guys have a poll on when Ezra and I will have sex? Seriously?"

The news really didn't shock her as much as it irked her. What she and Ezra did when they were alone was really none of her friends' business, nor did she want it to be. When they'd first found out about their relationship, Aria and Ezra were a little disappointed. A part of them enjoyed the secrecy of what they had. It was kind of sexy. So, they agreed to keep their private life as much of a secret as possible. Their friends didn't need to know everything.

Not that there was much to keep from them anyway. They still technically hadn't gone to 2nd base yet- if they were going off of Ali's base system, which was slightly more aggressive than what Aria had previously perceived the bases to be. Aria had always used the 4 F's. French, feel, finger, fuck. In that case, they had surpassed 2nd base, but not 3rd. However, Ali claimed that the bases were French, finger, oral, fuck. Aria liked her version better. It made her sound like she'd done more.

Spencer nodded, "Ali thinks you'll wait till marriage because you haven't done _anything_ yet."

"We've done…stuff," Aria defended vaguely.

"Like what?" Spencer turned her back on the junior duke and duchess making their way down the field and stared directly at Aria.

Aria shifted her weight. This was a conversation she hadn't intended to start, yet she had to admit, it was better than the ones of divorce Hanna had tried to provoke. "Stuff."

"Aria," Spencer urged, tugging gently on her arm.

 _Well for starters, he's felt me up. Everywhere. We saw each other completely naked this past summer at his lake house. We've sent each other explicit pictures. And the day before school started, Ezra's brother tried to open his door when he was about to finger me. Obviously, that killed the mood, but it almost happened, which counts for something right?_ The list Aria kept in her head pushed itself to the forefront of her mind, causing Aria to blush, but simply reply, "Stuff, Spence. That's all I'll say."

"Ugh, you're no fun," Spencer rolled her eyes. "I want to live vicariously through you and you give me nothing."

Aria offered a sympathetic smile, knowing it was better to say nothing about her recent break up with Toby than to bring it up in a sappy monologue about how Spencer didn't need a man to be happy. It was true, but it wasn't something Spencer wanted to hear. Just like Aria knew that growing up under her mom's roof rather than her mom _and_ dad's roof would be slightly easier on her social life and that the hurt wouldn't last forever was true, she didn't care to hear it at the moment.

The girls turned their attention back to the field as the last of the senior king and queen nominees reached the front. The music died down and the announcer from the press box started speaking. He began calling the names of everyone on the field. When he got to Ezra's, Aria cupped her hands over her mouth and cheered as loud as she could. This was her one reason for being at the game. She had to make it worth her while.

She watched him scan the crowd to find her again. His smile grew wide as soon as their eyes met and instantly, Aria could tell that it meant a lot to him that she had come despite her aversion to the whole event. Suddenly, she found herself toying with the idea of staying to congratulate him in person after the game. She'd survived 2 quarters. She could survive 2 more if it would make him happy.

They broke eye contact when the drum roll started for the announcement of the homecoming king. The title went to Ali's brother, Jason DiLaurentis. Aria stole a quick glance at Ali to watch her reaction and much like she expected, she didn't have one. Ali was completely unphased by her brother's win. It was like she didn't care, and reality, she probably didn't. The only time those 2 got along was when they were throwing a party together and that was only because Jason could pass for 21 and easily buy alcohol, pleasing Ali, while most of the girls Ali would invite were willing to _please_ Jason.

Homecoming queen went to Melissa Hastings, Spencer's older sister. Spencer clapped, but muttered some comment about how "of course Melissa won. She wins everything. Now she'll just brag about it until she wins something else" before letting out one small cheer.

A few confetti cannons went off, showering the court in blue and white paper. The students in the stands and on the field began to stir, causing enough commotion to allow for Ezra to make his way to the fence separating the track and the stands and poke Aria's leg through the chains without worrying about being seen.

"Congratulations," Aria leaned over the railing just far enough to flick the top of the crown on Ezra's head.

He laughed, "Thank you." His eyes flickered from side to side before he spoke again, "And thank you for coming tonight. I really appreciate it."

"Of course," Aria gave a tight lipped smile. "I wouldn't have missed this for the world."

"Will I see you after the game or are you heading home?" He drummed his fingers on the ends of her shoes, which were at about shoulder level with him.

"I'll be here." The words fell from her lips before she was really able to make up her mind. She almost took them back, but Ezra beat her to the punch.

"Great! I'll see you then. I should probably go. I'm supposed to take a picture with Jenna," He motioned in the direction of where most of the court members were beginning to gather.

"Yeah, okay," Aria nodded. "See you then." And she would. Her mouth had decided her fate before her brain could catch up. She didn't have a choice now.

Line break

"I saw a dog wearing a cape here the other day," Ezra announced as he and Aria passed Lucky Leon's cupcakes on their way home from the game.

They were walking alone along the practically deserted street after an almost hour long celebration that took place on the field after the game with the entire student body. Confetti was re-thrown, football players were hoisted into the air alongside the new king and queen, and everyone tried to talk over everyone else, emitting a loud, dull roar into the atmosphere, like a small plane taking off. Ezra indulged himself in the affair while Aria sat on the players' bench and scrolled through pictures on her phone to pass the time. She'd wanted to leave, but Ezra insisted on walking her home. She suspected that's when he'd corner her about shutting him out, however, it was 10 minutes into their walk home and he'd said nothing about it.

"That's cute," Aria mused. Under normal circumstances, she would've cooed and squealed. She loved dogs, especially in costume. But at this point, a compliment was the best she could do.

"Yeah, it was a French bulldog and the cape was Superman. I was going to take a picture and send it to you, but the owner came back before I could and I didn't want it to be weird," He laughed lightly. "I also saw like a herd of corgis in the park when Hardy and I were out tux shopping for homecoming last weekend. It was adorable. Oh, and speaking of homecoming,"

Ezra had been doing this a lot lately- filling in the spaces where Aria would normally talk because she wasn't really contributing to the conversation. She wondered if it was because he was bored or because he was trying to keep her from letting her mind wonder too far into divorce hell while they were together. Either way, it was extremely annoying, yet slightly appreciated. At least now Aria didn't have to worry about coming up with too much to say.

"I know you don't want to go to the dance, and this isn't me about to try to convince you. I know that won't work. You're too goddamn stubborn for that. But, since I have to go and share a dance with Jenna, I figured that I could go do that, then pick you up for a late dinner and we could go up to Rosewood Lookout for the night. Are you going to want to wear your dress or not? Because if not, I'm definitely going to change into something more comfortable before picking you up." The whole time Ezra spoke, his hand was on the back of his neck as he tried to avoid touching his girlfriend, both out of fear of being seen and fear she'd snap and rip his head off if he so much as looked at her cross eyed.

When she'd first brought up not wanting to attend the dance last week, she thought Ezra might rip her head off. With his nomination and win, he'd been pretty excited to go to the dance as a member of the homecoming court. Plus, he'd gone through great lengths to ask her "as a friend." But rather than getting upset, Ezra just shrugged it off and the 2 came up with another way to spend their homecoming night together. While she would've rather just blown the whole thing off and stayed at home by herself, she figured she'd have to meet Ezra in the middle and settle for something that wasn't as public as a high school dance or as private as watching "Grey's Anatomy" reruns in bed by herself.

"I'm not wearing my dress," Aria grunted. She thought that'd be obvious. They weren't going to the dance. Why would she wear her dress to go to Rosewood Lookout? They may be romantics, but they aren't 'ruin a $400 dress with dirt and leaves on a wilderness date' romantic.

"Okay good," Ezra nodded. "I didn't want to wear that tux all night."

Aria shot him an understanding look before her body jolted slightly as a shiver ran up her spine.

"Are you cold?" Ezra furrowed his brow.

"A little," Aria wrapped her arms around herself and began rubbing them up and down slowly.

"Here," Ezra started maneuvering out of his suit jacket. "You can wear this." Once he got it off, he held it open for her to slide her arms into.

"Oh, um, thanks." The jacket was way too big for her small body, but it was warm and smelled of her favorite scent: Ezra. She pulled it as tightly as she could around her and stuffed her hands between her arms and ribcage. She sighed at the odd safety she received from the simple article of clothing. Ezra smiled at her reaction.

"You know, Wes hasn't stopped bugging me about my door being locked while you and I were in my room a couple of weeks ago. He doesn't know what we were doing obviously, but he knows we were doing something we weren't supposed to," He smirked. "He heard you moan. I told him that you had stubbed your toe on the end of my bed."

Aria blushed a little and bit her lip, remembering all too well the way Ezra had been making her feel that afternoon. She wanted to respond, but suddenly her mouth felt too dry, like it had in the moment of intimacy they'd shared weeks ago. And before she could fix it and speak again, Ezra beat her to the punch.

"He thinks that's why you haven't been over since. You know, because you, uh, _got hurt_ ," Ezra put air quotes around the last two words. "I tried to tell him that's not why, but he insists. And honestly, it's easier than telling him what's really going on. He really doesn't remember our parents divorce, so he wouldn't really get what's going on with yours."

 _Here it comes,_ Aria thought. Here was the dreaded conversation of the evening. He was going to confront her. Make her talk about it. Tell her everything was going to be okay. Probably kiss her temple a few times because that's what Ezra did when she got upset. It was routine and one she would rather not go through today.

"Ezra…" Aria started.

"Anyways," Ezra cut her off, sighing loudly after he did so. "Are you ready for that algebra 2 test we have on Monday? We could study together on Sunday if you want. I could help you if you need it. Hell, you could probably help me too. I'm struggling with this unit."

Aria's mouth fell open slightly. _Okay, maybe here it doesn't come,_ she thought, unable to suppress the look of pure surprise and confusion that overtook her features. He'd just dipped his toes in the subject of her parents' divorce and walked away from the water instead of diving right in like she'd expected. She was grateful for his sudden change of pace, but completely thrown for a loop.

This wasn't boyfriend Ezra behavior. Boyfriend Ezra wanted to know every emotion she felt. He wanted to make her happy and drive away the sadness. He wanted to hold her and touch on her. He wanted to give her advice and assure her things would work out. Boyfriend Ezra wanted to make sure she was alright and safe, from herself as much as other people.

This was best friend Ezra behavior. The boy she'd grown up with. The boy she'd originally fallen for. Best friend Ezra kept his distance and knew when to pry and when to move on to the next subject. Best friend Ezra could give advice, but he could also help her ignore the problem until she was ready to face it. He would use school, friends, and other distractions to keep her happy and away from her bad moods. Best friend Ezra knew how to handle Aria at her worst.

Her heart swelled despite all of the pain she'd previously been feeling. He knew she needed a friend, not a lover, tonight. So that's what he was. He was a friend. Her best friend. He was what she needed most right then.

She guessed she'd been staring a little too long when she watched his face contort with the same confusion hers had been displaying earlier.

"What are you…"

Before he could finish his sentence, Aria flung her arms around his neck and pulled him in for the tightest hug she could possibly give. It took him a second to respond, but eventually, he hugged her right back with the same vigor.

"Thank you," Aria whispered into his ear. "Thank you for being my best friend."

"You're welcome," He responded. She could hear the smile in his voice. It was clear that he had caught on to her intention behind the hug. "That's what I was to you first. That's what I'll always be. There is _nothing_ that could ever change that."

"Promise?" She squeezed him, her eyes wide open, not wanting to shut them in case this moment was all a dream and she'd have to awaken to a reality where he bombarded her with questions.

"Promise."

She knew he meant it, and he did. She knew he'd keep it, and he would.

But like Aria's parents' marriage, that promise had an expiration date. As if their words were the trigger for a stopwatch, the countdown began. In exactly 2 years, 5 months, and 2 days, the promise would be revoked and their seemingly unbreakable bond would shatter into a million pieces. The friendship would be over and everything would change.

 **A/N: Man, I missed writing. 2 weeks to go without was too long. Even though I had a great time in the UK, I'm very glad to be home and updating this story for you guys. I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter. Forgive me if there are errors (more than usual, haha) or if it's not completely up to par with the other chapters; I am extremely jet lagged. As always, let me know what you thought about this chapter by reviewing. The more reviews I get, the more inclined I am to update quickly!**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**

 **P.S. Anyone still freaking out over the proposal, because I am! That damn cliffhanger pissed me off even though I know she'll say yes. Also, I'm thinking about writing a one shot based off of it. Should I?**


	18. Chapter 18

_2016_

Aria really hadn't thought this through. Her shift at The Brew, inviting Ezra to come see her, bringing Sophie along, none of it. It had sounded like a good idea at the time, but she had been high on her emotions. Every favor, every offer, every ounce of forgiveness had come from a place a self-driven emotional manipulation. She'd hated for so long that when she finally got the chance to move on, she just decided to throw all caution to the wind and not give a second thought to how it would damage the reputation she'd been building over the past 8 years.

Everyone in Rosewood knew about the bad blood shared by Aria Montgomery and Ezra Fitz. They didn't know the reason for the sudden fallout between the 2, but they knew the rumors, and the rumors were pretty damn close to the truth. Everyone suspected that it had something to do with Sophie. And they were right. The pregnancy had been the tipping point, although there had been so much more before it that had begun poking holes in their unsinkable friendship. But they didn't need to know the whole story. What they knew was enough, and what they'd heard from Aria and Ezra themselves did enough to quell any curiosity they might have otherwise.

On several occasions, Aria had called Ezra names, including, but not subject to: bastard, son of a bitch, low life, asshole, jackass, immature, selfish, egotistical, reprobate, and the bane of her existence. In their early years apart, Aria talked shit about Ezra every chance she got. It was her way to cope with not only that situation, but every situation that he should've been around for, but wasn't. She trashed his ability to be a father in her journals. She'd trashed his friendship to her parents. She'd trashed his love to her friends and Matt. She made sure that everyone knew how much she hated Ezra Fitz, so much so, that when he came back, people came up to Aria and asked in fear what she was going to do. It was at that point that she decided to do her best to ignore his presence all together. She had to hit him where it hurt the most. If she pretended like he didn't exist, like _they_ never existed, she knew he'd be bothered. He was. And people noticed.

Ezra hadn't been much of a saint in their time apart either. He'd described Aria as a manipulative bitch and not loyal to anyone who inquired about his ex-girlfriend. He left her drunken messages their freshman year in college, some incoherent, others cursing her out, until he finally had the sense to delete her number from his phone. When he met Nicole, he would rave to his family about how she was a much better friend than Aria ever was, though it wasn't remotely true. When he told Nicole what had happened between him and Aria, throwing in the little white lie that he knew the baby was for sure Matt's and not his, he'd exaggerated Aria's role in the fallout to make her look worse. When he moved to Rosewood, he'd expected a confrontation. A "what are you doing back here" speech from the small demon herself. But it never came. Instead, she ignored him completely. So he did his best to completely ignore her too. Once again, people noticed.

They had a reputation in this town. They were expected to hate each other. But now…they didn't. They'd buried the hatchet, or, at least they'd stuck the sharp part in the soil and left the dull, non-threatening part to deal with later. And while that was a good thing, it wouldn't come without a lot of explaining to the people around them. Aria wasn't sure if she was ready for the endless questions and strange looks. She'd already dealt with that once before.

But, whether she was ready or not, she couldn't take her over-generous apology back. Not now at least. Not just as Ezra was walking through the door with a smile on his face that, for once, didn't fade the second he saw Aria. Instead, it grew wider. And by some twist of fate Aria still didn't understand, she smiled back.

"Good morning," Ezra nodded as he approached the counter.

"Uh, hey," Aria bit down on her lip, trying to coax her smile away. While the coffee shop was full of young kids who were too wrapped up in their own lives to notice what was going on at the counter, Emily was still around there somewhere. It would be a major red flag to her if she saw Aria and Ezra smiling at each other in public for the first time in 8 years. The questions would start and they probably wouldn't stop until next month.

"I'll have a dry cappuccino. The usual," He let out an awkward, breathy laugh.

"That'll be $3.20, but you," Aria's eyes fell to the exact change in Ezra's hand as he thrusted it across the countertop towards her. "You already knew that."

"A little too well, I think," Ezra smirked. "Do you mind if I stay and drink it here, or will that make you uncomfortable?" His voice trailed off like he had more to say, but he left his statement as is.

Aria closed the cash register drawer after depositing his money and kept her eyes down, fearing another smile if their eyes met again. "It's up to you. I won't force you to leave, but it might be best…"

"Ezra?" Sophie's small voice ran out a little louder than Aria approved of, interrupting Aria's way of gently telling Ezra not to stay too long.

In between switching her gaze from Ezra to Sophie and back to Ezra, Aria watched Ezra's eyes light up before he turned around and knowingly faced _his_ daughter for the first time. It made her heart swell at the same time that it sent terror coursing through her veins. What if he tells her? What if he starts dropping hints? Sophie was smart. She could figure it out if he gave her enough to work with. Hell, she figured out that Snape was actually working with Dumbledore instead of Voldemort before she got to the 7th movie with no prior knowledge of the books or movies. Like her mother, she paid attention to the context clues. Most of the time it was a gift. Today, it could be the worst curse of them all.

"Hey, Sophie! Where did you come from?" Ezra knelt down so that he was more on level with the child.

Aria threw her head back in frustration. Well if his friendliness towards her hadn't seemed out of the ordinary, this would certainly raise a few eyebrows. Ezra Fitz talking to Aria Montgomery's kid right in front of her, and Aria wasn't trying to slit his throat. It was almost a moment for the history books.

"Ms. Emily's office. She's letting me play on her computer," Sophie tilted her head back towards the office door that she'd left wide open.

Ezra nodded slowly, glancing back at Aria and throwing her a look that silently asked if it was _her_ idea to put Sophie behind a closed door with her knowledge of his impending visit. Aria dismissed it, turning to make his cappuccino and hoping he wouldn't press the subject, because the answer to his unasked question was yes.

She'd prodded Sophie into hiding the minute The Brew opened. Emily had been confused, but open to letting the little girl watch YouTube videos of cats on her computer to pass the time.

It wasn't Aria's original plan to hide Sophie after bringing her to work. In fact, the whole reason she'd even had the idea was so that Ezra could talk to their little girl a little bit more. In a flash of sappy emotion, Aria thought it was a good idea for Sophie to get to know her father…even if she didn't _know_ he was her father. But that emotion was followed by hesitance, which was followed by anxiety, which was followed by a sleepless night, which was followed by a decision. One that meant Sophie would not be going to The Brew that Saturday morning. Unfortunately, by the time Aria made up her mind, all of her usual babysitter options were gone and she had no choice.

So she'd tucked her away in Emily's office and told her only to come out to use the bathroom or grab a quick snack, her reason being that she had too much work to do to entertain Sophie with their usual games and talks. Sophie had agreed and been quiet as a mouse all morning. Not one peep from her, much to Aria's surprise. But of course, now her daughter would decide to come out to pee or grab a scone. Of course. Of fucking course.

"Mom, can I have a snack?" Sophie peered around Ezra and looked up at her mother with hopeful doe eyes.

"Uh, sure," Aria shrugged. "Come around here and pick out what you want."

She heard Sophie shuffle around the counter as she put the lid on to Ezra's drink. When she turned back around, the little girl was opening the glass case where all of the pastries were stored and reaching her hand towards the most sugar filled item they had to offer.

"Whoa, no, Soph," Aria pulled her daughter's elbow back gently with one hand and handed Ezra his drink with the other.

"Ugh, why not?" Sophie wined, still eyeing the pastry.

"Because it's full of sugar and it's 10 in the morning. Pick something else." She used her best mom voice, a tone that was slightly lower and less choppy than her regular cadence. She'd perfected it over the years, and now she wondered what Ezra's dad voice would sound like. Had he had 8 years to work on it like she had, what would he sound like when he scolded their daughter? Would he scold their daughter? Or would she be daddy's little girl, forcing mommy to always be the bad cop? Not that Aria would mind. As a single parent she'd taken on the role of good cop, bad cop, pissed of cop, push over cop, and many more on multiple occasions.

"C'mon, Ar. It's just one doughnut," Ezra smiled and winked at the child, showing her that he was on her side and answering Aria's internal question about Sophie being a daddy's girl. Already, she had him wrapped around her finger and he barely even knew her.

However, rather than revel in the sweetness of the moment, Aria felt somewhat irked by it. Yes, he was her father and technically should have a say in her upbringing. But he'd only known her for less than a week. He'd only known he was her father for about 48 hours. He hadn't earned the right to argue Aria's parenting decisions. That would take months, maybe even years.

"No. It's too much sugar. She eats enough as it is," Aria glared at Ezra, though the look went practically unnoticed since he was still looking at Sophie with eyes that were a dead giveaway to the secret he knew. Luckily, Sophie didn't seem to catch on. She was too busy examining her other options now that she had to make another, healthier choice.

"Ar…"

"No, I'm her mother and I said no. Okay? Don't try to change my mind. Sophie pick something else."

The whole thing came off harsher than she'd meant for it to. She watched the weight of her statement come down on Ezra and reverb in his eyes. It had stung him, though he knew it was a true statement. Aria was Sophie's mother. And even though Ezra was her father, he seemed to understand that he didn't have authority yet. As much as Aria began to regret snapping, she was also relieved that she had. At least now she knew that he understood the boundaries she'd silently put in place.

"Can I have this?" Sophie pointed to a slightly less sugary item, completely oblivious to the quiet war going on between her mother and estranged father.

"Yeah, okay," Aria sighed, not in the mood for another bout of no's.

With a swift hand, Sophie reached in and plucked the pastry from it's spot, immediately bringing it to her mouth for a bite. "Mmm," She mused with closed eyes. "Mom, how much longer until you're done? I'm bored."

Aria glanced over at the clock on the wall, although she really didn't need to. She watched the time like a hawk whenever she worked here. During the school year while she taught, she only looked at her watch to gauge what time recess needed to end. She loved her job at the elementary school more than she had ever anticipated to. It still wasn't her dream job, but it was a good way to get by otherwise. But here, at The Brew, Aria could never wait for her shifts to be over. She always had a mental countdown in her head with the time narrowed down to the second. "Almost 2 hours. And hour and 54 minutes to be exact."

Her shift ended at noon. She'd promised to take Sophie to get lunch at the Rosewood Grille if she behaved and so far, she had. Aria figured Sophie was probably more ready for a big bowl of mac n cheese than she was bored. For someone so skinny, that child consumed an ungodly amount of mac n cheese every week. Sometimes Aria found herself envying her daughter. She could eat anything and not gain any weight. While that was a bad thing for Sophie considering she needed to put on weight due to her disease, it was a dream for Aria. After giving birth, Aria had never quite returned to her old weight. She got close, but never exactly. She'd started working out, but no matter how much progress she seemed to make, one piece of pie would undo it all. It was extremely frustrating.

"That's too long," Sophie pouted.

"I…I can keep you company if your bored, Sophie. I've got time," Ezra, who was still standing and watching the mother/daughter interaction despite the fact that he wasn't needed nor invited, piped up.

"Oh no, Ez…" Aria started only to be interrupted by her child…again.

"Okay! C'mon, let's go sit on the couches."

Sophie took off towards the empty couches in the back so quick that it made Ezra look slow to react. However, his reaction was right on time, and much to Aria's relief, directed to the right person. Her.

"I guess I should've asked you first," He muttered, taking a sip of his drink to diffuse his awkwardness.

"Yeah, you should've," Aria mumbled under her breath, reaching under the counter for a rag so that she could begin wiping down the space around her, which had accumulated crumbs from Sophie's snack. "But, it's fine. Go."

No sooner than Ezra sat down across from his daughter did Emily come bursting out of the kitchen, making a beeline for her office, only stopping when she saw the odd scene before her. Aria braced herself for her friend's reaction. One triple-take and a side eye later, Emily was at her side with a million and one questions surely bouncing around in her head.

"Why the hell is Ezra Fitz talking to Sophie? And why aren't you intervening?" Emily hissed in a hushed tone as she stared at the pair on the couches. Sophie had her pastry at her lips again and Ezra was watching, smiling, and saying words too soft for either of them to hear. When Sophie nodded, they figured he'd asked her a question.

"Relax, Em," Aria sighed. That response earned her a strange look from the brunette, one Aria couldn't quite place her finger on. Was she appalled? Confused? Disgusted? All of the above?

"Relax? Are you high right now? Ezra Fitz is talking to your daughter. Ezra I-dumped-you-and-left-you-to-figure-out-the-baby-situation-on-your-own Fitz. He is talking to the kid he wanted absolutely nothing to do with. How are you possibly okay with this?" Emily panted the same questions Aria had been asking herself since Thursday night. She'd resented him for so long. How could she just all of the sudden…not?

Maybe it was her emotions. Maybe it was the glimpses of the Ezra she used to love that she got when he made a joke or inquired about her family and wellbeing with such an earnest façade. Maybe it was the need to tell someone the secret she'd know for 5 years. Maybe she _was_ high. She didn't know. But she had done it. She was okay with this. She didn't know why. She just was.

"I…Ezra and I…the other night, I was on a date with this guy and he…he tried to um…assault me. Ezra happened to be at the same bar we were and walked in on it happening. He knocked the guy to the ground and helped me get out of the situation…"

"Wait, isn't that similar to what happened to you at the Halloween party our senior year? Some scumbag roofied you and Ezra came to your rescue?" Emily leaned back against the counter and folded her arms over her chest.

"Uh, yeah," Aria shuttered at the memory. "Only this time it didn't get as far as it did in high school, thank God." She briefly remembered the feeling of complete and total helplessness that overcame her in both situations right before Ezra showed up. She always wondered what Ezra felt when he'd walked in to those scenarios. He'd never said. She wouldn't let him talk about it back then. He didn't feel right bringing it up now.

"Anyway, after he helped me I figured I owed him. I don't know if it was the adrenaline or what made me think I should, but I did. I offered him a place to stay for the night so he didn't have to hotel hop again. We talked a little before going to bed. Nothing too personal. I wouldn't let him ask about Soph or Matt. He wouldn't let me ask about Nicole. Just small talk. It was actually kind of…nice _talking_ to him again. Actually talking, not screaming, not glaring, but talking. It didn't feel like the old days, but it felt better than the present." Aria paused, slightly saddened by the fact that it may never feel like the old days again. They weren't friends again, nor did she think they ever really would be, and in a way, that hurt her Ezra-numb heart.

"He met Sophie the next morning by accident. She came home from a sleepover earlier than I had anticipated. They kind of hit it off. Sophie really likes him…"

"Kind of ironic right? Since he hated her from the moment he knew about her existence," Emily scoffed. Aria wanted to glare, but it was true, so instead, she just shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. But, I don't see the harm in letting them talk now. He told me he regretted it. You know, walking away from us. He said he wished he could've been there for us, uh, and Matt. He wishes he could've helped out as my friend." Aria added the Matt part to keep suspicion away from the "real father" situation.

"Yeah, well he once told you he loved you and clearly that wasn't true," Emily rolled her eyes. "If it was, he wouldn't have hurt you so bad."

Aria felt a pang of anger jab at her heart. Whether that anger was toward Emily or Ezra, she couldn't tell. "Harsh, Em."

"I'm just trying to keep you from making a mistake here. He hurt you, Aria. Bad. Don't be fooled by one random act of kindness. People really don't change all that much." Emily huffed. It suddenly occurred to Aria that maybe Emily was projecting her own problems onto Aria and pretending they weren't her own. She had noticed Emily had been off lately. So she let it slide.

"I've changed a lot since high school," Aria defended.

"You matured. You had to with Sophie. And you're a great mother, but I don't know if you've changed per say. You still have the same great, quirky sense of style. You're still compassionate and kind. And you still could freeze Hell over with that cold shoulder you give when you're angry. You're still Aria. Just a more grown up version." Emily picked at her nails as she spoke.

"I don't know." And she didn't.

She'd heard the term 'a leopard doesn't change its' spots.' Maybe that applied here. Maybe it didn't. Maybe she hadn't change all that much since high school, but was it wrong for her to believe that Ezra had? People make mistakes. They say things they don't mean. They do things they regret. Could that be what happened with Ezra? Was he really different now, because it seemed like it to her.

Still, she wasn't diving head first into a friendship with him again. Aria had made the conscious decision to keep him at arms length for a good while. Now that he knew he was Sophie's father, there was no keeping him out of their lives. But that didn't mean she was going to embrace him with open arms ever again. An acquaintance-ship would do for now. It would be enough without being too much, because Emily was right. He had hurt her in the past. And just because she could forgive, doesn't mean she'd ever forget.

"Hey mom?" Sophie called from her spot of the couch. She sounded worried, causing both Aria and Emily to whip their heads in her direction. In the split second before Aria's eyes landed on her daughter, a million thoughts raced around her mind. What was wrong? Had Ezra done something to her? Said something to her? Had he made her uncomfortable? Did he come on too strong wanting to be her dad?

Her fears were quelled when she looked over and saw Ezra on one knee in front of her, hands hovering just above her legs as if he were afraid to touch her, and Sophie rubbing the side of her neck with a grimace on her face. But as one fear went out the window, another snuck in. She was in pain. Why?

"Baby, what's wrong?" Aria padded across the shop and took a seat next to the little girl, quickly locking eyes with Ezra and trying to give him a reassuring smile. Something was wrong with Sophie…his daughter. He'd never experienced this before. His stiff body language made it clear to Aria that he was scared. It was sweet, but she knew it might add unnecessary stress to the situation. Every step Aria mentally knew to cover due to experience, would be another question and fear Ezra would have. What an odd thing it was to be a first time parent to an 8-year-old.

"I coughed a minute ago and my neck hurts really bad now," Sophie continued rubbing up and down along the right side of her neck. "It hurts to talk and swallow."

Aria narrowed her eyes. This was new. Sophie had pulled muscles coughing before, but usually those were in her side or chest. And she typically only pulled things while she was having a horrible coughing fit. The mom in Aria had been listening for her child's cough the whole time she was talking to Emily. She'd only heard it happen twice.

"You probably just pulled a different muscle in your neck or something," Aria reached out to smooth Sophie's long chestnut hair down her back.

"It doesn't feel like a pulled muscle," She poked around on her skin, leaving little red dots in her finger's wake.

"What do you mean?" Aria furrowed her brow.

"It feels…crunchy. Like bubble wrap under my skin," Sophie explained. "I can hear it popping too."

"What the…" Aria leaned her head closer to her daughter's should and tried her best to tune out the music and chatter around her. Sure enough, there was a faint popping sound made each time Sophie pushed down around her neck and collar bone. "Sweetie, can I feel?" She held her hand up and waited for permission. When Sophie nodded, Aria began her unprofessional examination.

It _was_ crunchy, like bubble wrap or rice crispies. With each touch, Aria felt a tiny burst under her fingers. Her stomach sank. This wasn't just new. This was scary new.

"Ezra, feel that," Aria instructed, wanting assurance that she wasn't just being suggestive- that the bubble wrap feeling was actually there.

Carefully, Ezra placed his hand on the little girl, not taking much notice of how this was the first time he'd actually ever laid a hand on his daughter. The contact was surreal, but the situation trumped the moment. The look on his face told Aria that he felt it too. This was a real problem.

"That's…I've never felt anything like that before," Ezra stammered, his eyes blown with uncertainty and fear.

"Me neither," Aria shook her head. She thought she'd seen it all with Sophie. Apparently not. "Soph, you're sure this happened right after you coughed. Not before, not a few minutes later."

"Uh huh. Right after. Do you think I sprained my throat or something?" Sophie's big blue eyes got even bigger at her question.

Both Aria and Ezra chuckled, each savoring the small moment of playfulness before things were sure to get painfully serious.

"I don't think you can sprain your throat and if you can, I don't think that's what you did," Aria shook her head. "I think I want to take you to the doctor."

"Uhm," Sophie whimpered. Those were the words she hated the most. Doctors meant hospitals, needles, surgeries. 3 things no one ever enjoys, no matter what their age.

"Just a Ready Clinic at the supermarket," Aria rubbed Sophie's back. "I just want to make sure there's nothing to worry about. It's probably nothing, but we should get it checked just in case."

"Okay," Sophie muttered.

"Everything okay?" Emily slowly approached the broken family, only making eye contact with Aria and Sophie. She couldn't seem to be bothered by Ezra's presence.

"Um, not sure," Aria stood up. "I think I need to take Soph to the doctor. Is it alright if I leave early?"

"Of course," Emily nodded fervently. "We aren't too busy right now anyway. Go ahead."

"Thank you," Aria reached out and stroked Emily's arm. One of the perks of being long time friends with the boss was usually getting her way when she needed to. Today, she needed to. And Emily was more than compliant, as always.

When Emily walked away, Ezra joined Aria standing. He gave a barely-there glance at the little girl still poking her neck before taking hold of Aria's arm and walking her a little way away from the child.

"Can I…can I come to the doctor with you guys?" Ezra cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ezra…" Aria began slowly shaking her head. She understood his desire, but she also understood the eyebrows it would raise. Particularly those eyebrows of Sophie. _Why was mommy's friend accompanying them to the doctor? None of mommy's friends had ever gone with them before._

"I get it," He raised his hands in surrender. "I've known about our…relation… for less than a week. Less than half a week. But, well, after sometime passes, I'm not sure if I'll be okay staying behind. I know this is a shitty card to pull, but Aria, I _am_ her father. And believe it or not, I love and care about her already. She's my…my daughter. How could I not?" The cracks in his voice sounded genuine, but Emily's voice rang in her head. _People don't change._ And while Aria believed he loved their daughter, she needed more time to asses the kind of man he is before she let him be 100% involved in Sophie's life. It was what was fair to their little girl.

"I believe you," Aria nodded. "I do, but now isn't the time. I'll…I'll keep you updated. I just don't think it's a good idea for you to tag along. Not yet."

"I understand," Ezra sighed. "I'll give you my number so that you can call me. Or text, if you prefer."

Aria bit her lip, "I actually already have it. I never deleted it, weird as that is. It got transferred with all of my contact with each new phone I got. That is, if you still have the same number that you did in high school."

"I do," Ezra nodded.

"Great," Aria fidgeted awkwardly in place before turning to Sophie. "Soph, let's go." She lowered her voice, "I'll keep you in the loop."

"Tell Ezra bye," Aria commanded as Sophie made her way from the couch over to Aria, grabbing her hand.

"Bye, Ezra," Sophie waved sweetly, smiling despite the oddity going in inside of her body.

"Bye, Sophie," Ezra returned the smile, although Aria could see a sadness in his that wasn't present in their daughter's.

It made her stomach twist, knowing that if the tables were turned, walking away from Sophie while she was sick would kill her. Mentally, physically, emotionally. It would be too much for her to handle, yet here she was, asking Ezra to handle it. The only solace Aria could find as she walked out of The Brew and toward her car was the fact that Ezra had been absent for every single one of Sophie's CF scares. He'd waited 8 years to get involved. He could handle waiting a little while longer.

Line Break

At exactly 12:02 that afternoon a call came and went from Ezra's phone. He'd been in the bathroom at his new hotel, his phone out on the bed.

A jumble of numbers appeared on the screen rather than a name in the missed calls section of his phone. Whoever it was had left a voicemail. He figured it was Aria. Strangers typically don't leave voicemails unless it's a wrong number.

This wasn't a wrong number.

Ezra pressed the phone to his ear and instantly, his heart dropped. It _was_ Aria…and she was crying. And as he continued to listen, he began crying too.

" _Ezra, it's Aria. Sophie…she had a coughing fit in the car and then started having trouble breathing. She coughed up some blood, so I took her to the ER. They're transferring her to the children's hospital for the night. They think she's got a leak in her lungs. They may have to use chest tubes to regulate her breathing and fix the problem. This is…totally new to the both of us. She's a mess. I'm a mess. We need you, Ezra. I…I need you."_

 **A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Fun fact: this has actually semi-happened to me. Not the chest tube part, but the bubble wrap under the skin, leak in the lungs part. Mine bout with this affliction didn't get bad enough for tubes, but unfortunately, Sophie's may. What do you guys think will happen? As always, let me know your thoughts by reviewing!**

 **The one-shot will be posted tomorrow or Friday. I'm currently in the hospital myself and wifi is a little spotty, so that'll be the biggest factor on when it's posted.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**

 **PS: not over the second proposal. Our OTP is finally engaged!**


	19. Chapter 19

_2006_

 **Rated M until the line break**

There was a movie on, but they weren't watching it.

There was sound coming through the car's speakers, but they weren't listening.

He had been miffed earlier, but now he couldn't remember why.

This was going somewhere, and he wasn't going to let it stop.

Neither was she.

Most parents dread their teenaged daughter hopping in the passenger seat of some guy's truck and heading off to see a drive-in movie. Mom's scared because she remembers the things she did as a young woman with young men she'd just met. Dad's terrified because he remembers what is was like to be a teenaged boy with only one thing on his mind. But because they can't shield their daughter from the world anymore, they let her go and hope that she doesn't return with any regrets, a venereal disease, or an extra human inside of her.

However, Aria's parents weren't most parents. Or rather, her mom wasn't most moms. Due to the recent divorce, her dad had little say in his daughter's activities while she was with her mother. But regardless of the current situation and power struggle in their household, Ella Montgomery saw no problem with her 16-year-old Aria going to a drive-in with a still 15-year-old Ezra for multiple reasons. One, Aria was the one driving, therefore she was the one calling the shots. If she wanted to go home, no one was stopping her. And two, they were _just friends…_ right?

If only Mama Montgomery could see them now.

Though, it was a good thing that she couldn't. Actually, no one could. Aria had purposefully parked at the back of the lot in the farthest corner from the screen. No one in their right mind would park that far away if they wanted to actually watch the movie they'd just paid to see. But that was the thing. Aria and Ezra hadn't paid to watch the movie, which they'd already seen with their friends a week earlier. They paid for privacy and an excuse to have an uninterrupted make out session in the back seat of her car. In their eyes, they were definitely getting their money's worth.

About 10 minutes into the movie, Aria found herself straddling Ezra in the passenger seat, her hands tangled in his curls, his hands circling her waist. About 5 minutes after that, the 2 wound up in the backseat, taking full advantage of the extra room that part of the car provided.

She had shed her button up blouse that she'd conveniently forgotten to wear a tank top under and had her skirt hiked so far up her thighs it was starting to look more like a band around her hips than fabric that had once covered her ass. Ezra lied beneath her, bare chested and growing harder by the second as he took in the beauty in front of him. It was all either of them could do to keep from going all the way right then and there. The only thing stopping them was the fact that neither of them had a condom and Aria didn't feel like getting pregnant that night. Or anytime soon for that matter.

As Aria's lips attacked the column of Ezra's throat in an attempt to make her mark on her man, Ezra's hand looped around and began fumbling with the clasp of her bra. A moment passed and nothing happened. Instead of feeling air against her chest, she felt fingers clawing at her back as they tried their best to undo the barrier between them. Unfortunately, it just wasn't working. Aria giggled. Ezra turned red.

"Here," Aria whispered in his ear before sitting up to fix the problem.

She felt the elastic give way and fall to her sides as she blindly unhooked her bra. She was about to let it fall when she caught Ezra's eyes, which simultaneously made a breath catch in her throat.

This was new territory for them. Yes, he'd felt her boobs under her bra before. Yes, he'd seen her completely naked before. But this was different. This was real.

They weren't kids anymore. Granted, they had a long way to go before they were adults, but what they were doing wasn't child's play. It was an adult decision. The first of many they'd have to start making in the coming years. From college, to their careers, and unbeknownst to Aria, her future child. All of that seemed so far away until now. It had all seemed like this thing in the distant future that would never really reach them, but it was about to. And it started with this.

Years ago, Aria couldn't have ever imagined herself in a situation like this with Ezra. He was someone she played house with, not someone she wanted to hear moaning her name in pleasure. It was hard to imagine what the future could hold. She didn't know where they'd be in 5 years- and for her sake, it was best that she didn't. She didn't know where they'd go to school, who would be in her life, and who would be just a memory. She hoped that Ezra would never be just a memory. She hoped to only make more memories with him. She hoped that this would just be another thing she'd look back on and cherish. The night she and Ezra somewhat gave in to their desires. The first night she let anyone in. Figuratively and literally.

She must've been lost in her thoughts for too long because the next thing she knew, Ezra was sitting up, stroking her hips with the pads of his thumbs and staring at her with worried eyes.

"Are you okay? We can stop if you want. I know this is a lot more than we've done before. I get it. I mean, I'm nervous. I bet you're nervous. It's okay if you want to slow down or stop altogether," Ezra rambled, making Aria smiled and shake her head.

"I'm fine. It's just…" She sighed, pausing to find the right words. "We're really doing this. Well, kind of at least. It's different. It's weird…but, like, in a good way. Good weird. Not weird at all, I guess. I don't know. I should stop talking." She bit her lip. Those were _not_ the right words. She blamed the excess of hormones coursing through her veins and clouding her thoughts for her inability to correctly articulate her feelings.

"You're cute when you're nervous," Ezra laughed.

Aria blushed, "So are you."

She made a move to brush a piece of hair out of Ezra's eye, but tensed when the motion made her bra dip below one of her breasts, exposing a taut nipple to an over-eager boy.

"I guess I should just go ahead and take this completely off," Aria let out a shaky sigh.

"May I?" Ezra slid his hands up her arms to meet her straps and waited for permission.

Aria nodded, mouth open as if she wanted to speak, but couldn't.

With what was quite possibly the gentlest touch Aria had ever experienced in her life, Ezra let his fingers graze her arm as he slid the lacy fabric off of her body and let it fall onto the car floor. They both watched it hit the black floorboards, however, Aria's eyes lingered a little longer than Ezra's did on the discarded clothing. He wasted no time to begin soaking in the image before him. He'd seen her topless before, but like she had said, this time was different.

Tracing his nail along the edge of her breast, he smiled, "You're so beautiful. Have I ever told you that?"

Before she could answer, he was pressing kissed to her breast bone and reveling in their closeness. Aria writhed at his touch, unintentionally grinding down on his jean clad erection and causing him to let out a small groan. The sound vibrated in her chest, turning her on beyond belief. This was what she'd wanted. And now that it was happening, she wanted more.

As Ezra let his mouth explore this new territory, Aria made it her mission to make Ezra beg for her touch. As good as she felt with his teeth nipping at her most sensitive skin, she wanted him to feel even better. She gyrated her hips on his lap, moving back and forth, up and down. It was becoming increasingly frustrating that there were 3 layers of clothing separating their bodies. She almost did something about it, but Ezra beat her to the punch.

Without removing his lips from her skin, Ezra undid the buckle of his jeans and began tugging them down his legs. Aria tried to help, but with the way Ezra's tongue was entertaining her body, doing anything other than her body's natural responses to the stimulation was becoming increasingly difficult.

"Take your skirt off," Ezra muttered against her chest, his hands working their way into the elastic bunched up at her waist.

"You're gonna…" Aria attempted to speak, but was halted by the feeling of her nipple being sucked between Ezra's teeth. She let out a laugh, one coated in lust and the utmost desire, as she wound her fingers in his hair and tugged his face upwards so that he was looking at her once more. "You're gonna have to stop doing that for a second. I need to stand up to get it off."

Ezra released her from his grip and watched with dark, hungry eyes as she stood up as best she could in the small car and slid her skirt down her legs, leaving her only in her panties.

She hesitated, "Do you…do you want me to take these off too?"

His mouth said, "Only if you're comfortable," but his eyes said, "God yes."

Without a word or a second thought, Aria pulled her panties down and stepped out of them, feeling a sudden chill over her body. Was she genuinely cold or was she just nervous? She didn't know.

She made a move to sit back down in Ezra's lap, but Ezra held out a hand to stop her. She watched as he shimmied out of his boxers, exposing to Aria for the first time, an _erect_ "Little Fitz." Her eyes bulged and her throat ran dry. He was definitely a "grower" and she wasn't so sure that she liked that. It couldn't possibly _fit_ inside of her like that…could it?

"Aria?" Ezra asked, reaching out and pulling her back down onto the seat. "Are you…"

"I'm fine," Aria squeaked. "I just…I don't know what…how…you won't fit." Once again, Aria cringed at her poor word choice. God, that sounded so lame. She was glad he was a virgin too and didn't know what he was doing either or else that would've been even more embarrassing.

Ezra chuckled and took her hand in his. "I bet I will." He paused to lick his lips, "But we aren't even doing _that_ tonight, so we don't have to worry about that. Let's just focus on what we can do. Why don't you, uh…"

Aria could tell by his hesitation that he was trying to say "give me a hand job" without actually saying "give me a hand job." And for some reason, that fact calmed her nerves in the slightest. He was going to be just as awkward as she was during this whole experience, but it was okay because they'd get though it together, and no one would know about their sexual blunders but them.

"Can you show me what to do?" Aria looked down to where her hand was hovering above his penis, then back up to his baby blues through thick eyelashes.

His mouth twitched into a half-smile, "Oh, right. You've never…right. Okay. Give me your hand."

At what felt like a snail's pace, Ezra wrapped Aria's hand around the top of his penis, just below the head. Aria tried not to let it show on her face how weird the feeling of his manhood in her hand was. It wasn't at all how she thought it'd feel. She figured it'd be extremely smooth and thick, but instead, it felt almost rough and she was able to wrap her hand around the whole thing with no problem. That alone quelled her fear of it not fitting inside of her, but she wasn't about to tell him that. She knew how a woman's thoughts of a man's penis effected their egos.

The pre-cum dripping from the tip flowed onto her knuckles and seeped through the cracks between her fingers. She figured she could just use that as lube. Guys needed that when they jacked off, right? However, the consistency could pose a problem. It was quite sticky and reminded Aria of this slime toy she used to have as a kid. Oh my God, her mother practically let her play with cum when she was like 7. What if that's what it was, just colored green?

She shook the absurd thought from her mind once she felt Ezra's stare begin to burn in her wrist. He was waiting for her to start moving her hand so he could give her further instruction. His breathing had gotten deeper and his eyes had gotten heavier. Aria figured it wouldn't take more than a couple of strokes to get him off at this point. She hoped she was wrong. At that rate, _she_ wouldn't be getting off at all their first few times doing the deed. How unfair would that be?

Slowly, Aria ran her hand down his shaft, studied Ezra's face and trying to gauge his reaction. The way his eyes fluttered shut and his head tipped back slightly, she figured he was enjoying himself so far.

"Yeah, like that," Ezra sighed. "You can squeeze it too. That always feels good." His voice was raspy, succumbing to the building orgasm in his body.

Aria did as she was told. With each stroke, she watched his reaction, smiling to herself at the barely there whimpers that would escape his throat and the way his eyes clenched when a surge of pleasure ripped through him.

At one point, she decided to take his balls into her other hand and begin massaging them. She'd heard from Ali that guys like that.

Ezra's eyes snapped open, his pupils dilated to the max, before they disappeared as they rolled back into his head.

It wasn't long after that that his body tensed and he began spewing his load onto Aria without any warning. She jumped in the wake of his eruption as she was splashed with what she figured to be 90% of what she'd coaxed out of him. It dotted her chest, her stomach, her hair, and even just above her lip. The rest coated her hand.

She looked down at her hand and debated whether to just wipe it on the floorboard and clean it later or lick it off. To test the waters, she licked off the cum that had landed on her lip and waited for it to really hit her taste buds. When it did, she shivered. It wasn't horrible, but she wasn't about to repeatedly taste it as she licked her hand clean. Floor boards it was.

She leaned down to get rid of the excess aftermath, and when she came back up, Ezra was staring at her with wide eyes and a goofy grin.

"That was…wow. Is thank you appropriate to say in a time like this?"

They both giggled. They both didn't know.

"How about," Aria started, snaking her arms around his neck and pulling him closer. "instead of saying 'thank you', you _show_ me how thankful you are."

She pressed a kiss to his lips as he processed her words. When she could feel him nodding against her mouth, she leaned back to let him begin.

He backed her against the opposite car door, hooking one leg over his shoulder and pushing the other to the side, giving himself decent access to her vagina as well as a good view.

"Damn, you're sexy," Ezra shook his head in disbelief.

Aria winked as she felt her wetness drip from her pulsating center onto the leather seats. In a fleeting thought, she worried about ruining her seats and giving her rather promiscuous activities away to her passengers, but that was quickly pushed aside when Ezra let the pads of his fingers trace her swollen lower lips.

She leaned her head back in the nook created between the seat and the window, gripping a head rest and Ezra's shoulder for support and possibly pain control. She'd masturbated a few times before and never hurt, but she didn't know what kinds of things Ezra had up his sleeve.

"Can you walk me through this?" Ezra whispered, clearly unhappy about not knowing how to finger his girlfriend properly. They'd been together for 2 years now, he felt as if he should know, though he'd had absolutely no experience whatsoever.

"Mhmm," Aria let her head loll to the side so that she could see Ezra instead of the ceiling. "Start by putting one finger in. I'm assuming you know where to put it." She smirked. Ezra rolled his eyes.

"I'm not an idiot," He mumbled. "I've watched enough porn to know where to stick my finger."

Aria giggled, but Ezra stayed stoic, making her wonder if had intended that to be a joke at all. "Ezra, relax. I was just kidding."

He sighed, "I know. Sorry. I just want to do this right. I want you to get off."

She gave him a small, reassuring smile, "I will. Don't worry."

That was a lie. He should worry. Almost every article Aria had read about having sex, or having any sexual contact, for the first time said that it's hard for the girl to get off, especially if they're inexperienced. Neither one of them knew enough about her body to understand how it worked. They would learn, but it might take some time.

She almost said that to Ezra, but decided against it. That was the last thing he needed to hear right now. He was nervous enough as it was. He needed encouragement and ultimately, for her to orgasm. Lucky for him, Aria had also read plenty of articles on how to fake it and was ready to do so if she needed to.

He started off small, using one finger as she'd suggested. He thrusted it in and out at a medium tempo for a minute or two before silently asking if he could add a second digit. Aria, who at that point was content, but nowhere near a climax, nodded furiously and awaited the contact eagerly.

He stretched her with the new addition, making her wince slightly. Ezra began making maneuvers with the two fingers that he couldn't do with just the one, causing Aria to buck her hips and fidget beneath his touch. Her breathing increased along with his ministrations. She could feel pleasure rushing through her blood, numbing her limbs and making her feel as if her body were on fire in the best way possible. Yet, still, she was nowhere near her climax.

After a couple of minutes, Ezra dipped his head down and began sucking on her breasts again as he picked up the pace of his finger thrusting, probably in an attempt to inch her closer to the edge. Aria moaned loudly before mustering up the strength to tell him what she really needed.

"My clit, Ezra," She whimpered.

"What?" Ezra kept his head at chest level, but stopped the wonders he was doing to her nipples.

"Rub my clit. That'll feel good," Aria instructed.

At this point, Aria's eyes were closed, so she couldn't see Ezra's confused and terrified reaction to her command. However, his prolonged silence gave him away. He didn't know where her clit was.

"Do you not know…"

"No. I'm sorry," Ezra sat back, his fingers stilled in Aria's body, his eyes cast towards the ground.

"That's okay. A lot of guys have trouble finding it," Aria soothed. Truthfully, _she_ had had trouble finding it the first few times she'd touched herself, but thanks to Cosmo articles and the internet, she'd figured it out.

"It's right…" Aria slid one hand down in between her legs, hoping she could find it with his hand in the way.

"Holy shit!"

A muffled voice from outside the car rang out, startling the two lovers. Their heads whipped around to see a teenaged boy standing outside the window, rubbing his eyes as if that would erase the image he just saw.

Instinctively, Ezra moved to shield Aria's body from the poor kid's eyes, using only one hand to try to cover up his manhood. "What the hell, man?" He snapped as Aria cowered behind him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," The kid faced the window head on, but kept his eyes focused on the giant screen that was now blank. "But the movie is over. It ended like 20 minutes ago. My boss told me to tell you guys to leave or pay for another movie."

"We'll leave, thanks," Aria answered before Ezra got the chance to consider paying for another movie to keep their night of adult fun going. The truth was, she was kind of glad the employee walked up when he did. There was no way Ezra was going to get her off that night, and now she could blame it on the mood being ruined rather than his lack of experience. "Sorry about this."

"Yeah, me too," The kid grimaced. "Have a good night."

The two watched the the unfortunate worker walk away before slowly moving away from one another and settling into their respective seats, making no move to get redressed. They just sat silently for a moment, processing the night and what had just happened.

Ezra was flustered and a bit pissed off. Aria's heart was racing, though she was slightly relieved. While she'd been enjoying herself, she was afraid of it all ending in disappointment. For her and for Ezra. In a way, she was glad that happened. They could always try again later.

The silence turned to awkwardness as they just sat there, naked and panting and thinking. Another beat passed before Aria turned towards Ezra and said the only thing she could think of to break the tension.

"Wanna go to IHOP?"

Line Break

One stack of strawberry banana pancakes later and all remnants of sexual tension and awkwardness were gone. They were back to being the silly, carefree Aria and Ezra that they always were, blowing straw wrappers across the table at one another and "accidentally" kicking the other one under the table.

Aria had tied her hair up in a top knot to mask the cum that staked a claim in her hair and donned Ezra's hoodie, mostly so she didn't have to put her bra back on in the car. Ezra's shirt was wrinkled from being wadded up beneath the seats and his hair was sticking up in more directions than it should've been. Had anyone known they were dating instead of just friends, they would've been able to guess what those two had been up to earlier that night.

But it seemed like that all of the 5 people at IHOP at midnight turned a blind eye to their appearances. Their waitress gave them a hint of a side-eye, but said nothing. She had probably resolved that they were too young to be doing those kinds of things anyway.

"You know," Aria started as she trailed her fork around the plate to pick up the leftover syrup. "It's technically illegal for me to drive after midnight."

"So if we get pulled over I'll have to settle for conjugal visits instead of kisses?" Ezra winked.

Aria shook her head as she laughed, "That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that I'm breaking the rules because of you. You should feel very lucky."

Ezra watched as Aria stuck the syrupy fork into her mouth and widened her eyes to emphasize her playfulness in that moment.

"I definitely feel lucky tonight. For more than one reason."

"Me too," Aria mused.

There was a pause as Ezra's eyes flashed with uncertainty, as if he was contemplating what to say next. But just as Aria was about to address the situation, he spoke.

"I should've…I should've said this earlier tonight," Ezra rubbed the back of his neck as he gathered his thoughts. "But, I love you. And I know I've said it before, but like, after tonight, well, I feel like we took our relationship to another level and it needed to be said again. So, I love you. A lot. And I'm so thankful that I get to love someone like you. I'm lucky."

"I love you too," Aria sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to force away the giddy smile that tugged on the corners of her mouth.

She didn't say anymore than that. She didn't need to. He'd said it all. He was thankful and so was she. He was lucky, and in a way she felt luckier. Ezra was good to her. Maybe too good. He was everything she could ever imagine wanting in a boyfriend, and possibly, in a husband. Every night for the past few months, Aria had said a silent prayer, asking that she and Ezra wind up together. Asking that their stories be linked. Tonight, she would be praying the same prayer extra hard. She knew high school relationships were flimsy and that most didn't last, but she just had this feeling about her and Ezra. They were going to make it. They loved each other so much. They just had to.

Later that night, well morning, when Aria returned home, Ella asked how her evening went. Although she hadn't been worried about Aria going to the movies with Ezra, she sometimes wondered if 'going somewhere with Ezra' was a cover. On many occasions, she'd seen Aria sporting poorly concealed hickeys, claiming she'd burned herself with her flat iron. If that were truly the case, Ella might have to rethink letting Aria use hot object unsupervised. However, she doubted that was the case at all.And because of that, she found herself searching her daughter's face for any signs of regret or hesitance, but she came up empty.

Aria didn't regret anything. She didn't come home with a venereal disease. And she didn't come home pregnant. At least…not yet.

 **A/N: After a short, but intense battle with writer's block, this is what you get, haha. It's filler, I know. The next chapter is all planned out and will hopefully be up Friday night or Saturday.**

 **As for the one-shot, let me explain. First of all, it's coming. I promise you I'm going to do it. I just got slammed with side effects of the medicine I'm on while I was in the hospital and didn't feel up to writing for several days. Today is actually the first day I've felt up to it. Also, I was going to write that instead of this, but the idea I had fell through on paper. I'm going to rework though. I just want to be confident in it before I put it up for you guys. Hopefully it'll be up by the time the next pll episode airs.**

 **As always, let me know your thoughts on this chapter by reviewing! Were you happy with the step they took in their relationship? Where do you think they'll go from here? Also, what do you predict will happen in the next chapter with Sophie being rushed to the hospital? Let me know.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	20. Chapter 20

_2016_

The beeping was going to drive Aria crazy.

The heart monitors, the pulse-ox machine, the IV pump, and the incessant alerts from the nurses' station just outside the door were all beginning to morph into one constant high pitched buzz that rang in her ears. That, on top of the stress of her daughter's current situation, was enough to drive any sane person mad. She remembered seeing a sign pointing guests in the direction of the psychiatric floor just outside doors of the PICU and thinking that it's placement was odd. Now, she understood.

A fast paced beeping pulled Aria back from her silent mental evaluation and forced her to focus in on the sleeping little girl lying in the hospital bed before her. She squinted, trying to make out the numbers on the pulse-ox machine behind Sophie's head. The frantic noises escaping the machine told her that Sophie's oxygen level was low, but she wanted to know just _how_ low it actually was. Sophie's normal oxygen stat was 98-99%. The numbers on the screen read 89%, making Aria's stomach churn.

"Soph, I need you to take a deep breath for me," Aria placed her gentle hand on her daughter's arm, careful to avoid the IV and wires draped over it.

Sophie obeyed her mother's command, but said nothing. She didn't even open her eyes, not that Aria had expected her to. The doctors had given her a light sedative the moment she arrived from the ER in the ambulance. They said they sent her to the "twilight zone", basically meaning that she could still hear and respond physically to questions or orders, but was still sedated enough that her body figured she was asleep and her coughing would subside slightly. Aria didn't like it. She wanted to talk to Sophie to assess how she was doing, how she was feeling. But, according to the doctors, sedation was the best option because the less she coughed, the better. Less coughing meant a slimmer chance for needing chest tubes. Less coughing meant she'd heal faster. Less coughing meant less time spent here.

"One more, sweetie," Aria coaxed, her eyes glued to the monitor.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Sophie's chest rise and fall, and then almost instantly, she saw the numbers on the screen rebound up to 92%. The beeping stopped. The machine was satisfied. Aria was not. There was an oxygen tube in Sophie's nose. She was getting assistance and was still showing low numbers. It pained Aria to think about what the outcome would be if she had no aid at all.

After a moment, Aria retracted her hand back into her lap and relaxed into the purple plastic chair that the hospital provided for parents. She'd spent more than enough nights attempting to make that thing a comfortable bed, one would think she'd have it figured out by now. She should know how to make it doable. Doctors would joke about it, nurses would joke about it, hell, even her mom would joke about it. They all said she should have this hospital thing down by now. But…that was the thing. No matter how much time she spent confined in a hospital room with her daughter, she would never get used to it. There was no such thing as making a hospital comfortable. It was a living Hell for all who stayed there.

No sooner than Aria's back hit the back of the chair did her phone chime beneath her thigh. Her heart jumped. It had to be Ezra.

She'd called him about an hour and half ago, asking him to meet her at the hospital. Call it a moment of weakness, she didn't care. She'd been scared. She still _was_ scared. She needed someone. Now, why she didn't call her mom, or Emily, or Spencer, or even Mike, was a question she'd yet to really answer herself. All she knew was that she'd promised to keep Ezra in the loop. Inviting him to the hospital was about as _in the loop_ as he could get.

As she predicted, a message banner showed up on her screen, bearing Ezra's name and a few simple words.

" _I'm here. Where do I go? –Ezra"_

After 8 years, Aria knew this hospital like the back of her hand. She knew that Ezra would've likely parked in the clinical care wing, rather than the hospital wing, meaning he had to cross a sky bridge before he could even begin searching for the PICU. And she knew that because of that, she'd have to give him very detailed instructions or else he'd get lost. So she began to type.

" _If you're on the clinical care side, which I assume you are, take the elevator up the floor 3. You'll know if you're on the clinical care side if you see a big mural of children playing on a playground after you exit the elevator. If you don't see that, congratulations, you're on the hospital wing. From there, just go over to the other set of elevators (they're blue. The ones you're in are white) and go up to the 4_ _th_ _floor. There are signs to point you to in the direction of the PICU from there. However, if you see the mural, you're going to have to cross the sky bridge. It's right outside the elevator area, just take a left and it's literally impossible to miss seeing how it's the only thing there. Walk across the sky bridge, take a right, follow the hall down, and you'll see the blue elevators. See instructions above on what to do from there. Let me know when you get on the elevator to come up. I'll meet you in the PICU lobby. –Aria"_

Had the situation not been weighing so heavily on her, she might've laughed at the text she'd just sent. That was probably more words than she'd said to Ezra consecutively in years. However, she assumed she'd be saying even more to him in the next few hours. He was bound to have questions about everything that was going on. She still did.

As she awaited a response, she decided that it was probably best to begin putting her plan into action now instead of waiting until she was in the PICU lobby to execute it. Taking a deep breath, Aria removed the diamond engagement ring Matt had given her from her ring finger on her right hand and slid it back on to her left for the first time in 7 years. She wore it everyday on the opposite hand to keep Matt's memory close to her heart. She'd really loved him once and a part of her always would. A few of her friends called it unhealthy and a little weird, but Aria brushed it off. It was her ring and she could do what she wanted with it. And today, she wanted to make it look like she was engaged once more. The PICU had a 'family only' rule. She had to get Ezra back there somehow.

Another 15 minutes passed before Aria's phone chimed again.

" _Sorry, I got lost. But I'm getting on the elevator now. See you in a minute. –Ezra"_

Aria rolled her eyes. Some things would never change. Somehow Ezra always managed to be late. And though "lost" wasn't technically "late", it still put off his arrival by at least 5-6 minutes, therefore, he was late. Typical.

"Soph, Ezra came to see you. I'm going to step outside and go get him. Are you okay if I leave for just a second?" Aria asked more as a formality than concern. She would leave the door open and let a nurse know she was leaving her daughter unattended for 5 minutes so that they could watch her more closely. She just wanted to make sure that in the off chance Sophie woke up while she was gone, that she didn't freak out. That was the last thing that girl needed to do right now.

When Sophie nodded, Aria took that as her cue to slip out the door. She caught a nurse charting something at a computer and told her what was going on. Once the nurse understood, Aria was on her way through the PICU doors and into the lobby, making it seconds before Ezra rounded the corner, carrying a pink "Get Well Soon" balloon and a fluffy teddy bear.

"What…is all of this?" Aria cocked an eyebrow as she inched closer to Ezra, essentially backing him as far away from the reception desk as possible.

"So, I didn't get completely lost," Ezra smirked. "I stopped by the gift shop on the sky bridge. There wasn't a huge selection of balloon colors, so I hope she likes pink. Also, is she still into stuffed animals? I thought the bear was cute so I got it for her, but I can return it if she'd rather have like…nail polish or something." He looked back and forth between the items in his hands as he spoke, his eyes displaying genuine worry that his daughter may not like what he'd bought.

Aria reached out and stroked his arm, an action that surprised him, but was a necessity for her plan. She didn't know if the receptionists were watching them, but if they were, she needed to put on a convincing show. "She loves pink and she'll love the bear. You should see her room. There's probably a million stuffed animals in there and that's not an exaggeration."

The relief on Ezra's face at her assurance was nearly palpable. "Oh good. Good. I was hoping these would cheer her up."

Aria nodded, becoming increasingly aware of how long she'd kept her hand on Ezra's bicep and how warm his skin was under her palm. It felt nice. It acted as a defense against the bone chilling hospital air.

She watched him as he tilted his nose down, his eyes following suit and landing on her hand. She felt her stomach tighten. It was now or never.

"Play along," She whispered, her mouth not moving a millimeter, before she pressed her body flat up against his and embraced him in the biggest, most heartwarming hug she could muster. He tensed for a moment, but eventually relaxed into it and wrapped his arms around her, responding to the contact with relatively the same vigor.

The hug had to be long enough without being too long. It was supposed to be an "I'm glad you're finally here, honey" embrace, not an "our daughter is dying" hug of comfort. It had to be realistic enough to trick anyone watching into thinking that they were in a romantic relationship, and oddly enough, it wasn't hard to do.

The familiarity of his body against hers was almost unnerving. She could recall every groove, every bend, every bump that he had to offer. The way her head just barely reached the crook of his neck, the way he instinctively rested his chin on the top of her head- she knew it all too well. There was a safety in his touch that she hadn't allowed herself to miss. It was only now that she wondered how she'd gone 8 years without it. It calmed her, ironic as it was. The embrace of the man that she hated with everything in her not one week ago, was now soothing her aching brain and steadying her nervous heart.

"What are you doing?" Ezra muttered as he began to pull away, albeit reluctantly.

"They, uh," Aria started, glancing over her shoulder to eye the women behind the desk. They were all busy and probably not listening. Still, Aria lowered her voice to just above a whisper. "They only allow family members back in the PICU, and while you _are_ her dad biologically, you aren't her dad legally. Every record of hers' states that Matt is her father. There is no way we could convince them otherwise. So, I um," She averted her eyes, looking anywhere but Ezra. She couldn't look at his face, let alone into his eyes as she said this next part. It would be too weird. Too tender of a subject. "I need you to pretend to be my fiancé. I know that isn't technically family, but I've seen them let back fiancés before because I guess it's close enough. I switched Matt's ring back onto my left hand, so just play along and we'll be fine."

Without missing a beat, Ezra responded, "You realize you're asking a man who's going through a shitty divorce to pretend to be your happy fiancé? Would you like me to kiss you or fuck you in the supply closet while I'm at it?" The question wasn't vicious, but playful. He knew the ruse was necessary to get him through the door, but he felt the need to add his own little "Ezra flare" to the scenario by cracking jokes.

"Very funny," Aria narrowed her eyes. "No, just follow my lead and try not to speak too much."

She turned away and strode over to the reception desk with Ezra trailing at her heels. He stood back in order to let his "fiancée" do the dirty work. He smirked to himself behind her back. Never did he ever think he'd be calling Aria his fiancée, even if it was just a joke. Oh how the tables were starting to turn.

"Um, hi," Aria chirped, flashing a smile to the woman sitting behind the desk. "I'm Aria Montgomery, Sophie Callahan's mom, and my fiancé is here and wants to see her."

She felt a hand slide up her back and snake its way around her shoulder. She wondered if Ezra did that to emphasize their lie, or because he wanted to touch her again. Either way, she wasn't going to protest.

"Name?" The woman asked, giving Ezra a quick once over and mentally deciding that he was alright to see the sick girl in room 433.

"Ezra Fitz," Ezra cleared his throat.

"Have you travelled to West Africa in the last 21 days?"

Aria bit down on her lip to hide a smirk. She had been asked these questions so many times she could practically recite them in her sleep in the correct order. Next, they would ask if he had any flu like symptoms like runny nose, cough, fever, or joint aches.

"No," Ezra shook his head.

"Have you had any flu like symptoms? For example, runny nose, cough, fever, or joint aches?" Ding, ding, ding, Aria was right.

"No," Ezra shifted his weight and let his hand fall from Aria's shoulder and back to his side. The woman seemed to buy their story. They didn't need to keep up appearances anymore.

"Alright, here is your visitors tag, Mr. Fitz. Please keep it visible at all times. Visiting hours' end at 9 o'clock tonight. You must be over 18 to spend the night, which I'm assuming you are, I just have to tell you as a formality," The woman rolled her eyes, wearing a tired smile on her face. As many times as Aria had heard this bit, she knew this woman had _said it_ a million times more.

"Thank you," Ezra nodded, reaching around Aria to grab the sticker that admitted him into the PICU.

The two flashed the woman one more quick smile each before shuffling towards the big metal doors that had to be opened for them by the reception desk. Once they were safely behind them, they both let out a sigh of relief. They were stressed out enough as it was, the last thing they needed was drama from the front desk.

"Looks like our lying skills haven't deteriorated in our old age," Ezra laughed as Aria led him down a long white corridor with rooms lining either side.

"Shhh," Aria hissed, though the smirk on her face told him that she wasn't angered by his comment. She was amused.

The two scooted to the side to allow a nurse pushing a pale little boy in a wheelchair past them. Being accustomed to seeing sickly children being carted around in the hallways, Aria just kept walking, sparing nothing but a pity glance at the mother of the child who shuffled along behind him, her head down and arms crossed. However, Ezra was not as used to seeing sick kids at every turn and took a moment to follow the scene with his eyes, stopping dead in his tracks. It took a few steps, but eventually Aria realized that Ezra had fallen behind and she decided that now was as good of a time as any to explain to him what he was walking into.

"Sophie doesn't look like that," Aria whispered as she backtracked to where Ezra was stuck standing. "She looks pretty much like she did at The Brew earlier today, just with a few wires hanging off of her. Don't worry."

Ezra swallowed, his eyes still trained on the boy in the wheelchair that was now in the distance. "Do you ever get used to seeing stuff like this? Kids with masks on their faces, dark circles under their eyes, and IV poles with a million medicine bags hanging from them?"

The honest and simplest answer Aria could give was no. It was not something anyone could get "used to", but it was something every parent of an ill child learned to handle seeing. It was just the nature of the beast. Kids with cancer, kids with cerebral palsy, kids on 24/7 oxygen, kids awaiting transplants, kids who couldn't walk 20 feet without needing to take a break – they were all there in that very hospital. The sadness was inescapable. The sickness was unavoidable. But that's just how it was. And Aria learned a long time ago that it was better to just put on a brave face and look past it than it was to dwell on it.

She used to get mad. She used to scream and yell at the walls in private. How could all of these horrible things happen to innocent children? Why was Sophie lying in hospital beds regularly, getting poked, getting prodded, getting tested when she'd done nothing wrong? Why was she cursed with an awful disease that robbed her of certain parts of her childhood? She'd missed field days, birthday parties, Halloween's, and even a Christmas because of her goddamn lungs. Why couldn't Aria take her place? She deserved this hell over that little girl. None of this was fair.

It killed her to see her daughter in pain, to see her coughing until her face turned blue, not being able to catch her breath. It broke her heart on the nights Sophie would sit in a hospital bed under the grip of nurses as they tried to stick yet another IV in her because her veins were so small and blew so easily. "Why me, mommy?" She would cry. And Aria would cry too. She didn't have an answer. In fact, she frequently asked the same exact question to herself. Why her? Why any child? It just wasn't right. Their diseases didn't allow them to be what they were meant to be: children. Instead, they were patients. And for some of them, that's all they would ever be.

They'd been lucky. Hospitalizations about once every 2 years, with random flare ups in between. But Cystic Fibrosis was a progressive disease, meaning it got worse with age. Aria had heard of too many kids, teenagers, getting their first lung transplants before the age of 18. And while that helped, it was only a matter of time before their bodies would begin to reject the lungs. She'd heard that recipients were lucky if their new organs lasted 5 years. From there, the person could either decide to get another transplant or die. Aria prayed that Sophie would never be faced with that choice. She was not going to out live her daughter; she was not going to bury her.

"No, you just become numb to it," Aria said flatly, not really looking anywhere.

"I guess I have a lot to learn," Ezra sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand holding the balloon, causing it to bump the light fixture above. It swayed and both of them looked up for a moment. There wasn't really any reason for it, they just needed something to do that wasn't continuing that conversation.

"Let's go," Aria returned her head to parallel, then tilted it sideways, motioning for Ezra to follow.

A nurse was exiting Sophie's room just as Aria and Ezra were approaching. She was rolling a blood pressure and temperature machine with her right hand, allowing for the numbers on the screen to be seen by any passerby. Aria stole a glance as they passed, assuming those were Sophie's most recent vitals and wanting to make sure everything was alright. Her blood pressure was 90 over 60 and her temperature was 97.6 degrees Fahrenheit. By the looks of the machine, Sophie was perfectly healthy.

Just as Aria had expected, Sophie was still sound asleep at her return, and while it wasn't a big deal, she figured she better explain it to Ezra.

"She's sedated," Aria spoke at a normal volume, knowing it wouldn't wake the little girl. "Doctors said it was best she be kept in what they call the "twilight zone" so that she doesn't cough as much. That'll help her avoid chest tubes." She paused to steal a look at Ezra. He looked overwhelmed and a little green. She understood. All of the machines and stats surrounding such a tiny body were intimidating.

"She can hear you though. She responds to commands; she just won't wake up or really remember it when she finally does come out of it. You can say hi if you want. Or don't. It doesn't matter. And you can set the balloon down on the window sill. She'd probably like the bear in the bed with her."

As she spoke, Aria found herself busying herself with mother-like tasks, such as tucking the sheets more snuggly around Sophie's body and smoothing her hair from her face to try to shake off the anxiety she was feeling in the moment. She was glad Ezra was there, she really was. He needed to be now that he knew his role in Sophie's…conception. But his presence still made her feel uneasy. He was relying on her to provide him with the information he needed to process all of this. He was relying on her to know what she was talking about and doing as Sophie's mother. It almost felt like a test.

Ezra did as he was told, setting the balloon by the window and the bear by Sophie's arm. He wished she was awake so he could give her a proper greeting - saying hi to a practically comatose patient seemed pointless. He thought about placing a gentle kiss to her forehead, but he figured that might be pushing the boundaries Aria had so clearly set. He wasn't to act like her father. Not yet, anyways.

"So…did the doctors say what happened? Like, why her neck hurt after she coughed?" Ezra took a lazy seat in the chair on the opposite side of Sophie's bed from Aria and raised an eyebrow.

"At the ER they told me that they thought she tore an airway, causing a leak in her lungs. I told you that in the voicemail. But, nothing was for sure until we got here. She did tear an airway. That's why her neck felt like bubble wrap. It was all misplaced air. The medical term for that is subcutaneous emphysema. So basically what happened was, she coughed hard enough that it tore an airway towards the top of her lungs, more in her chest area. Because it was so high up, the air that was escaping went into her neck, which isn't necessarily safe, but it's not harmful either. However, the doctors did say that if she kept coughing, she might make the tear worse and stretch it down into her lower lungs. If that happened, the extra air would go more into her chest cavities and surround her lungs, which would impair her breathing even more. In that scenario, they would have to use chest tubes. So, they're keeping her sedated for today, and want to watch her until the bubble wrap feeling in her neck goes away. They don't want to chance it getting any worse by sending her home."

Aria nowhere near considered herself a medical professional, but by this point, she knew how to diagnose an awful lot of lung related issues. She could recognize pneumonia, bronchitis, a collapsed lung, a mucus plug, an asthma cough versus a sinus related cough, and now, subcutaneous emphysema. If she ever got the chance – or the money – she considered going back to school and becoming a nurse because she could probably excel there, and Lord knew it paid better than a teacher's salary.

"So she's here for what, 3-4 days?" Ezra cocked his head to the side.

"If we're lucky," Aria nodded. "I may have to take out a loan if we're here any longer." She laughed, but the subject wasn't funny.

"I know finances is a sore subject and really not one to be discussed between friends, but, if you don't mind my asking, how much does a trip to the PICU cost?"

"$25,000." Aria waited for the shock to overtake Ezra's face before she added the real kicker. "A day."

Ezra's jaw all but hit the ground, "You're joking."

"I wish I was," Aria shook her head. "A regular hospital stay isn't near that much, and neither is a visit to the ER. But yeah, the PICU and the ICU charge a shit ton of money. So I'll be shelling out $100,000 if she's here for 4 days." Just saying that out loud hurt her head…and her bank account.

"Can you…can you afford that?" Ezra muttered, obviously not wanting to sound rude or snarky.

"Kind of," Aria sighed. "When Matt died, Sophie and I received about $400,000 to compensate. A bit of that went towards funeral expenses, a large portion went into Sophie's college savings account, and the rest has gone to scenarios like this. However, it's dwindling. She's had 2 PICU stays in the last 5 years. One was shortly after Matt died. She got this fever and became super dehydrated and couldn't breathe. God, it was terrifying. She was here for a week, so there went $175,000. And now this. Like I said, this could easily be $100,000 hospital stay."

The longer Aria spoke, the quieter she got. She knew Sophie could hear this, and even though she will more than likely not remember it when she woke up, it still worried Aria that she would feel responsible for their financial struggles. And while she was, it was necessarily her fault. She couldn't help her shitty genes.

"I have a savings account though and there's money in there I can pull from. I'd like to use that to take Sophie on vacations and create memories with her, but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?" Aria grimaced. That seemed to be her life motto when it came to her finances.

"Would you…would you be willing to let me help out?" Ezra cleared his throat and looked to his feet.

Aria raised an eyebrow, "I thought most of your accounts were frozen?"

"For now," He shrugged. "But as soon as the divorce is finalized, they'll be reopened. I don't know how much money Nicole will end up taking from me, but even if it's half or something outrageous like that, I'll still have more than enough to help you out with bills and other medical expenses. You know, because of my trust fund."

"I can't ask you to do that," Aria shook her head, glancing down to pick at her nails.

"You're not asking. I'm offering."

"I don't know," Aria chewed on the inside of her cheek. She knew where this offer was coming from. Ezra wanted to help out in any way that he could. It was sweet, but she could see it turning sour at any moment. They'd been getting along recently, but that didn't mean it would last forever.

"Sleep on it?" Ezra begged.

"Yeah," Aria shrugged. "Okay."

"Speaking of sleep, where do you do that…here?" He motioned to the area around them that sported no extra bed for a parent or guardian. Only the patient got the luxury of getting a place to lie down.

"You're sitting on your bed," Aria giggled. "That is, if you chose to stay. I get if you want to go home or something."

"I don't really have a home right now, Aria, remember?" He shot her a cheeky grin. "I'm staying as long as you'll have me."

Aria nodded, unsure of what else to do, before he continued.

"You'd think that for $25,000 a day they'd at least give you a Murphy bed or air mattress." Ezra stretched his arms out as if he were assessing the space around him, then turned his mouth into an exaggerated frown and and raised his eyebrows, telling Aria he felt that there was enough room for his suggestions.

"I agree," She chuckled. "But alas, no bed for the parents. Not here anyway. In the regular hospital rooms there's pull out couch. It's not the most comfortable thing, but it's better than a chair."

She was about to add more about the strange living conditions in the hospital, when the high pitched beeping from the pulse-ox machine started again. This time, Sophie's oxygen level had dropped to 87%.

Once again, Aria reached out for her daughter's hand, taking hold of it before giving her instruction. She was calm. She collected.

Ezra on the other hand was not. His entire body tensed. His eyes bulged and that little vein in his forehead that had become more prominent with age…and stress, reared its frazzled head. "What's that noise mean? What's going on?"

Aria sighed, shaking her head gently from side to side, "Her oxygen stat is too low for the machine's liking. Sophie, can you take a really deep breath for mommy?"

"Is she okay? Do we need to call a nurse in here?" Ezra was now standing straight up, ready to bolt out the door to call for help if need be.

"She's fine," Aria dismissed, her eyes glued to her daughter's chest as if rose and fell dramatically.

The number on the machine rose to 89%. The beeping continued.

"Another deep breath, baby," Aria coaxed, using the pad of her thumb to rub circles on Sophie's motionless hand.

As Sophie drew in another exaggerated breath and let it out, Ezra held his. He knew he should take Aria's word for it. Sophie probably was fine. But still, it was scary to see his daughter of nearly 3 days hooked up to multiple machines with one of those machines screaming that something was off. It sent a form of terror through his veins that he'd never experienced before. For the first time, he felt like he really understood what it felt like to be a parent…Sophie's parent. And suddenly, he couldn't believe he'd left Aria alone to singlehandedly deal with this all those years ago. He really was an ass. She had every right to be angry at him. But for some reason, she'd chosen to forgive him recently and let him in to their life, even if it was just a little bit. He was going to make the most of it. He was going to make it up to her…and to Sophie.

The number on the machine jumped up to 93% and the screeching ceased. Both Aria and Ezra sighed in relief.

"See, I told you she was fine," Aria offered him a small reassuring smile.

"Sorry, that was just…" He didn't know how to finish that sentence. There wasn't a word in the English language to describe the paralyzing amount of fear he'd felt in that moment.

"I get it," Aria squeezed Sophie's hand. "You know, when Sophie was born…the doctors, they knew something was wrong right away. I didn't even get to hold her for 10 minutes before they were rushing her to another room to do an examination."

"Aria…"

"Ezra, let me say this," Aria pleaded. "They ran a sweat test and diagnosed her with Cystic Fibrosis within the first 48 hours of her life. They also diagnosed her with meconium ileus, an intestinal blockage. That meant she needed surgery as soon as possible. They ripped my little girl open to save her life, but God, hearing her cries of pain during her recovery…that's not a sound I'll ever forget." She took a deep breath before continuing. "We spent the first 4 months of her life in the NICU. Matt couldn't be there all of the time. He had to go back over seas a few weeks after she was born. So I sat up here, alone. My mom came when she could. Same with the girls. But on most days, it was just me and Sophie. I read to her. I told her stories I made up. I tried to be strong for her, for myself." Aria sniffed. She wasn't crying, but the lump forming in her throat told her that she may be soon.

"I remember thinking to myself how much I hated you. The one person I needed more than anyone at that time in my life wasn't there. You walked out on me. On us. And I knew…I knew if you had been there, that…that you would've held me. Held her. And told us everything was going to be okay. I wouldn't have had to be so strong because you would've been there to be strong enough for the both of us." She was crying now and so was Ezra.

"You would've made me laugh when I wanted to cry. You would've kissed me and made me forget everything bad, even if it was just for a moment. But you didn't. You didn't because you chose not to be there. And…fuck, I hated you. I had been angry with you since you left, but in those moments, that's when I began really hating you. I couldn't even say your name without heat rising over my body. But do you know what I hated the most?" The question was rhetorical, but still, Ezra shook his head.

"I hated that even though I hated you with everything in me, I knew that if you walked through that door and asked me to take you back…I would've. I hated that I still loved you as much as I did. And I think…I think that's why I've decided to let you in now. You walked through the door and asked me to, in a way, take you back – as my friend at least. I've done this for 8 years. I was completely alone for 5 of them. I can't do anymore by myself."

Those words had sat on Aria's heart for the past few days. It was how she explained this sudden forgiveness, this sudden willingness to let him back into her life when she'd swore to never do so again. It was something about seeing him with Sophie, seeing him here at the hospital, that made old memories flood back to her. The anger she'd felt. The frustration. The betrayal. And ultimately, the love. She'd wished for months to have Ezra back in her life shortly after he'd left. Now, she was getting that chance. It just took awhile for her to remember that she'd wanted it in the first place.

"Aria," Ezra swiftly strode from his side of the bed to hers and pulled her to her feet.

She took a quick moment to take in their current proximity. They weren't hugging, yet their bodies were practically touching. His hands moved up and down over her shoulders and arms, sending a warm chill through her body. And the way he was looking into her eyes…she hadn't seen that kind of seriousness and passion in those baby blues since she was 18-years-old.

"I am so sorry," Ezra's voice cracked. "And I know sorry doesn't even begin to fix what I did or how I made you feel, but it's all I've got. I was a scared teenager with a warped perception of the situation. That isn't an excuse, it's just the truth. If I could…if I could go back in time, I would change all of it. Every second. I would be there for you. I would help you raise our child from birth. I would…I would love you the way you deserved to be loved. _Deserve_ to be loved. But I can't…go back. I can only go forward. So, from here on out, I want to be here for you and for Sophie in any way that I can. Financially, emotionally, you name it, I'll be there for it. I want to right this wrong. It may take 100 years, but I'm going to do it."

By the end of his short monologue, the tears he'd been crying had dried, leaving streaks on his clear skin. His eyes were still wet, but had pushed the water aside so that Aria could see that he really, truly meant what he'd said. That he really, truly was sorry.

"Thank you," Aria whispered.

What happened next was something that neither of them could've predicted at this time last week. In fact, they would've told you that you were crazy if you'd tried to tell them about it any earlier than today. But for the first time in 8 years, Aria and Ezra wrapped each other in the tightest hug they could manage, each with no intention of letting go any time soon.

Sure, they had hugged earlier that day, but it had been fake, _pretend_ if you will. It had lacked real emotions. It had lacked real passion. But this hug…this hug was the epitome of 8 years of pent of feelings: hatred, love, anger, guilt, loneliness, confusion, curiosity, and longing.

They both knew that the contact wasn't a be all, end all for their past grudges. They still had a lot to work through. But, the embrace felt like they were wiping the slate clean. It told them that somehow, they would be able to move on. It may take 100 years, like Ezra said, but eventually, they would get there.

 **A/N: Holy long chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it! I had a bit of a struggle writing it because this particular chapter hit very close to home. I think I've mentioned it before in a previous author's note, but I suffer from Cystic Fibrosis just like Sophie does. Every experience I described is something that I've gone through in some way, shape, or form. From the low oxygen stats and deep breathing, to spending the first 4 months of my life in the hospital. I tried my best to put my thoughts and feelings about growing up with a chronic disease into words here. The things I had Aria thinking were similar to things I have thought, and things my mother has thought. I don't know if I did it justice, but I hope it gave you guys some insight to the more emotional struggles of growing up with a chronic illness. And if you have one, or have suffered any horrible illness, I hope that I captured at least 1/100 of your thoughts as well. It's a very sensitive subject for me, but I wanted to write about it, so I did it here. (Also, I figured the cost of staying in the PICU based on my own experience. I don't know what the rates are in other places, but in Texas, it's expensive as hell)**

 **Now enough about me, haha. What did you guys think of the Ezria in this chapter? Now that they've accepted each other as friends, it's only a matter of time before they become more than that (wink wink). I can't wait to show y'all what I have up my sleeve for them.**

 **As always, please let me know what you thought by reviewing. I'll try to update by Wednesday. It would be sooner, but my next project is the one-shot I've been promising. It'll be up soon so be on the lookout.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	21. Chapter 21

_2006_

Aria Montgomery sat alone at a table in the back of The Brew, completely oblivious to the commotion going on around her. Her focus was on an SAT Prep book with a well worn spine that sat in front of her and her hearing was impaired by the music lilting out of her headphones. She was so in the zone that a bomb could've gone off and she wouldn't have noticed.

Her junior year had started only one month earlier and already, she was feeling the weight of college on her shoulders. Her mother, her teachers, everyone, was jumping down her throat to get a head start on her future. _Work hard to get scholarships. You need to do well on your SAT's. After that, you're taking the ACT just to ensure a good score. You need to go on college tours now. The next chapter of your life is just around the corner. No time to be lazy._

She hated it, but she understood. She wanted to get into NYU. Not only was that more of a challenge than getting into Hollis, but it was an out of state college, which meant it cost more, which meant that she had to receive a decent chunk of scholarship money if she really wanted to end up there. Scholarship money came from good SAT scores. And good SAT scores came from studying hard, even when she didn't want to.

Aria was supposed to hang out with Ezra today. He'd asked her to attend the fall carnival held at Rosewood High with him and spend the day "getting lost" in the corn maze. At first, she'd accepted the offer. Later, she had to cancel. And eve later than that, she decided just to reschedule. They would hang out today, just _later._ She'd study here until 4, go home and change into something a little dressier, and then meet Ezra at the entrance to the carnival at 5.

Growing slightly impatient and vastly curious, Aria looked at the time displayed on her phone screen. 1:02 pm.

This was going to be a long day.

She stared for a moment at her bright screen, telling herself that she was still just "checking the time", but knowing she was really looking at her screensaver and wasting time. She'd been studying for almost 2 hours now; she could afford a small mental break. And looking at a picture of her and Ezra was definitely the kind of mental break she needed in that moment.

The picture was taken on the Fourth of July, but it had only become her wallpaper 3 weeks ago. She'd been too hesitant to set such a relationship revealing photo as the first thing anyone would see if they hit the home button on her phone for a long time. But eventually, Aria decided to throw caution to the wind and do the thing that had been nagging her for so long. This December would be their 2-year anniversary. It was about damn time she stopped being afraid to use photos of them as her wallpaper or desktop background. Screw what her parents "suspected". Unless she confirmed it, their guess was just that…a guess.

It wasn't like they were kissing in the photo or even touching in some intimate way. They were hugging. Friends hugged. Her arms were slung around his neck and his were respectfully around her waist. Their smiles were bright and their cheeks were painted red, white, and blue. The water dripping from their bathing suits was accentuated by the flash of the camera and their eyes were glowing gold, not too much to make it weird, but enough to hide any evidence that they weren't… _all there_ when the picture was taken.

If anything, that was the thing Aria worried most about her mother noticing if she saw the photo. Ella knew what being drunk off your ass looked like. She could recognize it in Aria if she looked hard enough. But she would never be able to tell just by looking at that picture that before the drinking and the firework popping began that night, Aria and Ezra had locked themselves in a room to have some alone time. She, nor anyone else who could possibly run across that picture, would never guess that just a couple of hours before that picture was taken, Aria had been on her knees fucking the guy she loved with her mouth…or that Ezra had done the same to her.

Mindlessly, Aria ran her thumb over the screen just as the time changed to 1:03. She sighed. Break time was over.

She directed her eyes back to the pages in front of her, however, she didn't even finish reading the title of paragraph she was about to begin when her attention was pulled elsewhere. This time by a who and not a what.

As if she'd been offering, a tall, dark haired boy took a seat in the chair across from her and made himself comfortable. By the time her eyes reached his, prepared to roll hard to show her annoyance, she'd recognized him, and recognized that he was moving his mouth, saying words that she couldn't hear thanks to the Chicago Symphony in her ears.

Narrowing her eyes, she pulled an earbud out and cocked her head to the side, "What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"I said," The boy cleared his throat like he hadn't already been speaking. "I've never seen anyone smile at their SAT prep book before. How do you find joy in such a tedious task?"

Her eyebrow arched without her consent, her face giving away that she hadn't known she was smiling to begin with. "How'd you know this was an SAT book from across the café? Unless, you've been standing close to me for longer than I thought, which in that case, is very creepy, Matt." She giggled, meaning nothing of real offence by her comment, all traces of her annoyance were gone.

She liked Matt. They'd remained decent friends since the night she chose Ezra over him at the Christmas tree farm 2 years ago. Of course, Matt didn't know she'd "chosen" anyone that night. He was blissfully unaware that she was dating Ezra, as was everyone who wasn't in her friend group. In his mind, she'd simply pulled away and decided she just wanted to be friends, and he'd been okay with that.

They'd had several classes together over the past couple of years, including psychology and AP English this year. They each had their own friends in the class, but whenever the opportunity to interact with one another presented itself, they always embraced it and were used that time to reaffirm their distant friendship. He was nice a guy, and his friends threw some kick ass parties. It was definitely worth keeping up their platonic relationship.

"I have one just like it and I recognized the yellow blocks on the tops of the pages that spell out 'Prep'," Matt explained, flicking the book with his forefinger and thumb. "And now that I've answered your question, can you answer mine? How on earth are you smiling reading that thing?"

"I wasn't," Aria shook her head, a small smile creeping back onto her lips. "I was looking at a picture on my phone. Taking sort of a mental study break for a minute."

"I get that. Yeah, I take 23-hour mental study breaks every day. It's great you should try it," Matt joked, crossing his arms over his chest, and making the material around his arms pull tighter, revealing the muscle he'd hidden beneath.

Aria's eyes flickered between his arms and face for a moment before settling on the dark, almost chocolate brown circles that were his eyes and speaking again, "You only study for 1 hour a day?" She was shocked, but she wasn't sure if it was by his statement or his body. Not that she stared at him often, but he hadn't been that big at school yesterday. She was sure of it.

"No, no, no," Matt laughed. "I study for 1 hour _on_ the days I study, which is nowhere near every day."

This comment made Aria laugh, but it also made her wonder. It was clear that she cared more about making a good score on this test than he did, but why? Did he not need scholarship money? Did he not aspire to go to some big name school? Not that there was anything wrong with him if he didn't. She was just curious. "Where…where do you want to go to college?"

"I don't," Matt shrugged.

Aria frowned. There was nothing that turned her off to a guy more than when he said he didn't have any plans of going to college. Not that she was _turned on_ to Matt by any means. She had Ezra. She didn't need anyone else.

"I mean, not right away, at least," Matt reworded his answer, clearly reading the worry on Aria's features. "I want to join the military once I graduate."

"Oh," Aria couldn't hide the shock in her voice. Her whole graduating class had been buzzing with career options since school began this year. Some said they wanted to be doctors, others lawyers. Some wanted to be teachers, journalists, engineers, or architects. Aria had thought she'd heard it all. But she hadn't heard military. In fact, she thought they may be the first class to _not_ have a future service man or woman walk the stage on graduation day. Obviously, she was wrong.

"Yeah," Matt ran his hand through his overly gelled hair, nearly distracting Aria from what he was going to say next by causing her to wonder how he moved his hand so easily through something that looked so stiff. "My dad was in the army. My grandpa was a marine. My cousin is in the navy. It's kind of like a family tradition. Plus, it's something that I really want to do. Hopefully the war with in Afghanistan isn't still going on by the time we graduate, but if it is, that's where I'll be headed most likely."

"Wow, that's…scary." Aria mentally berated herself for not being able to come up with a better word than scary. But that was honestly what she thought of his words. They were scary. People died every day in combat. And while it wasn't guaranteed that he'd die in service, it was still possible. They weren't close by any means, but the thought of someone who _was_ close to Matt having to send him off with that same knowledge made her stomach churn. She'd figured this before, but now she was positive that she could never get seriously involved with someone in the military. She would just be living in constant fear.

"It is," Matt nodded. "But, I want to serve this country and what better way to do it?" He smiled. "Enough about me though, what about you? Where do you want to go? What do you want to study?"

"NYU," Aria suddenly beamed. As much as her future scared her, it excited her was well. She loved talking about all of the positive things that could be in her life. "I want to be a journalist. Or an editor. Or something to do with writing. I just want to write, really."

"Would you ever consider being an author?" Matt asked as if the question had never crossed Aria's mind before.

Of course she'd thought about it. But making money as an author is hard and unsteady. Not every single writer hits the jackpot. Not every single writer is JK Rowling. Money is hard to come by in that profession and she needed a way to support herself, especially when she had a family many years down the road.

"I would love to do that," Aria admitted, a blush coming to her cheeks. She never really talked about her personal writing to anyone but Ezra. This was new. But it was also exhilarating. Like Ezra, Aria felt like Matt wouldn't judge her. She trusted him for reasons unbeknownst to her at the time. "But it's hard to make money just doing that. I need something else to do to earn a living, and maybe I'll write on the side. Well, I'll always write on the side. I love to write. But, we'll have to see if I ever want to publish anything I wrote."

"I'd read it," Matt flashed her a small, reassuring smile. "if you did publish anything. I'd read it."

"You don't even know if I'm any good," Aria shook her head. She _was_ good, according to herself and Ezra, but Matt didn't know that.

"I have a feeling you are," Matt shrugged. "You're smart, you're driven. And I'm sure if that mind can create stories half as beautiful as you are, you'll make millions one day."

The blush on Aria's cheek intensified. She knew she should be shunning the feeling. She had a boyfriend. She shouldn't be all smiley at some guy's comment that was clearly an attempt to flirt with her, but she couldn't help herself. It had been nearly _2 years_ since she'd been flirted with by anyone aside from Ezra. And Matt was _so_ different from Ezra. This feeling was so foreign. She couldn't suppress the warm, fuzzy feeling spreading over her limbs. She just couldn't.

And as long as she didn't actually _do_ anything with Matt, this flirting was harmless, right? She wasn't cheating on Ezra simply by talking to another guy. And that's all she was doing with Matt. _Talking_ with him. No harm, no foul? She liked to think so.

"Thanks," Aria pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'll let you know if I ever publish anything."

"In that case, I should give you my number. You know, in case we don't see each other after high school," Matt winked.

"Um," Aria's stomach tightened. Not out of guilt, but out of genuine nervousness. She'd never gotten a guy's number before. Not in a situation like this anyway. "Yeah okay."

She handed Matt her phone, silently praying that he didn't say anything about her wallpaper. The flirtatious mood would definitely be ruined if he asked about her _boyfriend._

Lucky for her, he didn't say anything. He just typed in his number and handed her phone back without any questions or comments.

"Thanks," Aria said awkwardly. She wasn't sure if that was appropriate to say after getting a guy's number, but she'd said it just for good measure.

"I'll see you around, Aria," Matt smiled, hopping off the seat, and begin to back away without taking his eyes off of her.

"Yeah. See ya," Aria waved slowly with her fingers until Matt turned completely around and walked off.

As if on cue, the second The Brew door shut behind Matt, Aria's phone chimed. _Ezra._

 _We still on for tonight, babe? –Ezra xoxo_

The smallest of smiles found its way onto Aria's lips and made a home as she typed back:

 _Of course. Love you. –Aria xoxo_

And she did.

She loved Ezra more than she knew how to say. But, did that mean she couldn't look at what else the world had to offer? It was alright as long as she didn't touch…wasn't it?

Aria nodded as if she'd been asked that question out loud. It was alright. She didn't like Matt like that. But she did like the new attention. In her eyes, there was nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.

 **A/N: Please do not kill me. This chapter was going to be written this way even before the whole Jaria mess we were thrown into in this last episode of pll, so I know** _ **this**_ **chapter is poorly timed with the show, but hear me out. Matt had to be brought into Aria's past somehow. This is it. She still loves Ezra, but she's young. It's normal for young girls and young guys to want to keep their options open. But please, remember, it was stated in a previous chapter that Aria DOES NOT cheat on Ezra. I hate that reoccurring storyline in the show, so know it will not happen here. But there had to be a little bit of drama in their past. It can't all be rainbows and love. And as they near 17/18 years old, the drama only intensifies.**

 **Also, please forgive me for the shortness of this chapter. I am in the middle of packing for college and saying goodbye to my best friends that I've known for years. I haven't had a whole lot of time, but I promised Wednesday and I wanted to keep that promise. (yes, it is still Wednesday where I live. Sorry if it's already Thursday for you, haha).**

 **If you want your spirits lifted after this, go check out my new one-shot Now and Then (shameless self promo). I will also tease good things for Ezria in the next chapter! So stay tuned. Things are quickly progressing in the present day!**

 **I move in to my dorm on Saturday, so things will be pretty chaotic this weekend. Because of that, I will try to post on Friday. That may not happen, so if it doesn't, I will probably have to wait until Sunday or Monday to post. I'll do my best.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	22. Chapter 22

_2016_

 _"And this is your mom at homecoming our senior year."_

 _"Did you go to homecoming too that year?"_

 _"Yes, I did. Your mom was actually my date. We...we just went as friends though."_

Rain was coming down hard outside of Sophie's hospital window, ruling out a walk in the courtyard or getting any fresh air at all really for the small family trapped inside the PICU. Had this occurred a few days ago, it would've been no big deal. Sophie would've slept right through it and it would've provided adequate distraction for both Aria and Ezra when the silence between them got a little too thick. But since luck hadn't been on their side, it was raining today, and it would be raining _all day,_ causing the now awake 8-year-old to grow restless and in Aria's words, "horribly bratty."

The 2 girls had fought all morning. First, Sophie wanted McDonald's pancakes, but the nearest McDonald's was a 15-minute drive from the hospital. Aria refused to go given the treacherous road conditions at the time. Sophie threw a fit; Aria came down on her.

Next, Sophie wanted Bowie, the bear Ezra had gotten her, to have a buddy. And since her mother refused to drive anywhere, Sophie suggested simply buying another bear from the gift shop. While Ezra didn't mind, the look on Aria's face told him that butting in and saying yes would basically be a death sentence. So, he watched the girls argue about the bears being "cheap" but also being "a waste of money." And although Ezra was Sophie's father, he felt like a little kid again, watching his friend fight with his parents while he was over at their house. It was uncomfortable, and it was a side of parenthood that Ezra decided he didn't like. He would let Aria be the bad cop. Sophie would get her way with him.

Finally, Sophie uttered the words "I'm bored" one too many times and Aria snapped. Maybe it was the stress of the hospitalization, maybe it was just general annoyance, but the second the word "bored" left Sophie's lips, a string visibly broke inside of Aria. She'd gripped the edges of her seat so tight that her knuckles turned white before pushing herself up abruptly and storming out of the room, claiming she was just going to get lunch for the group.

That had been 30 minutes ago.

Only about a minute passed after Aria's departure before Sophie began engaging Ezra in conversation. And about 2 minutes after that, things got awkward. He was running out of small talk. He'd already asked her favorite colors, sports, hobbies, and subjects. He'd talked with her about becoming a hairdresser and very vaguely about his past with her mother. He had nothing left to talk about unless he wanted to bring up the weather, which didn't sound like something a little girl would be interested in discussing. Hell, he wasn't even interested in discussing that. No one was, unless they were a meteorologist or extremely boring. So, to avoid that horrible topic, Ezra did what anyone in the 21st century would do in a time like this: resort to social media.

Since he'd reconnected with Aria, Ezra felt the need to dig up the good things they had buried in the rubble of their fallout. He'd been told about a Myspace app, and that being the popular social media when he was a teenager, he downloaded it to relive those years through status updates and pictures – many of which he had no recollection of.

He'd gone through a majority of his old photos on his own already and, in his opinion, they were okay for his 8-year-old daughter to see. There was no evidence of his or Aria's underage drinking, underage smoking, underage anything. There was nothing provocative…well expect for the one picture the 2 of them had taken on Halloween their junior year. Ezra had been a cop and Aria had been a sexy prisoner. The picture showed him handcuffing her at the foot of a bed in some kid's master bedroom. Aria was bent a little too far over, her ass peeking out from the bottom of her skirt, and one of Ezra's hands was a little low to be handcuffing her behind her back. As an adult, Ezra couldn't believe he'd posted that. And as a father, Ezra was going to make sure his daughter never saw, nor recreated that picture.

Aside from that though, his pictures were G-rated and he figured they were a safe and fun thing to show Sophie to pass the time during her mother's absence.

It was proving to be great conversation and a wonderful distraction. Ezra would show Sophie a picture, she'd ask a question, maybe 2, he would answer, and then she would stare at the "ancient" image for an extended moment. Right now, she was gazing at a picture Ezra had posted of just Aria from homecoming when they were 17.

He remembered that night well. Aria had looked beautiful in the short black dress she'd worn. He recalled making mental note of how much he loved her long hair and the way it fell over her shoulder due to the way it was pinned and curled. He'd wanted to run his hands through it all night, but Aria wouldn't let him near her locks with a 10-foot pole. It wasn't until he brought her home and the 2 shared a goodnight kiss – make out session – in his car that Aria let him do whatever he wanted to her hair…and really any part of her body. _Damn, that had been a good night._

"What's next?" Sophie voiced her want to move forward with this simple question.

Ezra swiped left, revealing a picture of their old friend group on a boat, Labor Day weekend of their senior year. Ezra's arm was casually thrown around Aria's shoulder, but not in a way that would give their relationship away. It was a friendly embrace, but it had felt like so much more.

He could remember the details of that day fairly well considering how much time had passed. He and Aria had slept in the same bed and he'd woken up with morning wood. Aria had laughed at him, telling him that she was very flattered. He'd blushed and kindly asked her not to talk about it. So she didn't talk. She acted. And God had that action felt amazing.

"Did you ever have a crush on my mom?" Sophie's words broke Ezra's perverted train of thought, causing his face to feel flush as he realized he'd been thinking about Aria riding him while sitting next to their daughter.

He cleared his throat, trying to wipe away the image of Aria on top of him and attempting to come up with a sufficient answer to the question he'd been asked. How honest was he allowed to be here? Saying he had a crush on Aria as a teenager wasn't giving too much away. It wouldn't be like he was confirming their relationship. He'd simply be saying yes to a harmless question. Aria couldn't get mad at that, right?

"Uh, yeah, at one point I did," Ezra nodded slowly.

"Did she like you back?" The question itself was innocent, but the force behind it packed a punch.

Aria hadn't just liked Ezra back. She'd loved him. And he'd loved her. Their love for each other is what brought Sophie into this world. But in what felt like an instant, all of that love vanished.

At one time, Ezra found himself wondering if Aria had ever loved him at all. It wasn't too far of a stretch to believe that she might have just been manipulating him for her own personal pleasure. After all, she had spent the first few months of their relationship kissing him, touching him, and flirting with him, only to push him away the minute she got her fill. Not to mention how hard she'd tried to coheres him into raising a child with her that he didn't even know was _his_ at the time. She'd been so shocked when her emotional manipulation hadn't worked – almost like she was _used_ to being able to control him.

"I don't know," Ezra shook his head, deciding on the simplest answer – and even that hadn't been true. He did know.

A few months after their fallout, Ezra realized he was being ridiculous thinking that Aria's feelings for him had been fake. Of course they'd been real. _No one_ could fake the way she looked at him when she thought he wasn't watching. _No one_ could fake the conviction behind her "I love you's". _No one –_ no matter how good of an actor they were.

And if that weren't enough, the monologue she gave the other day about wanting to take him back after their fallout proved to Ezra that she'd really felt love for him at one time.

"Okay, next picture please," Sophie shrugged, showing her naïve acceptance of Ezra's vague answer.

"Yes ma'am," Ezra quipped before flashing the girl a quick smile, which she returned with equal vigor.

He swiped left once more and up came a picture that sent daggers through his heart.

Christmas Eve 2007. 2 months before Aria got pregnant.

They weren't together anymore. Aria had ended things between them shortly after Halloween, for reasons completely understood by Ezra. She needed her space after what had happened. She needed to figure out who she was again. She needed to be alone. And so, he'd let her go without a fight.

She'd promised to get back together with him once she got everything sorted out and her thoughts in order. Ezra had assumed that meant things wouldn't be awkward between them in the meantime. He was wrong.

Aria could hardly look at him. She'd flinch at his touch, sit across the room from him, leave his texts and phone calls unanswered. She totally withdrew herself from him, but seemed to let everyone else in. Ali, Spencer, Emily, Hanna, hell, even Hardy at times. From the way she was acting, people could assume that it had been Ezra who'd hurt her on Halloween instead of some scumbag who couldn't get laid any other way.

But, like the loyal and hopelessly in love guy that Ezra was, he stuck around. He waited. No dates, no other girls. His sights were just on Aria. They were always going to be on _just_ Aria. He thought she'd do the same.

About 3 days after this picture was taken, Aria would begin talking to Matt Callahan. And about 4 weeks after that, they'd sleep together. A week after that, she'd get back together with Ezra. 2 days later, he'd find out she'd had sex with Matt and break it off again. 2 weeks after that, Aria would tell him that she was pregnant.

This picture was one of the last ones they had taken together and neither of them looked very happy. Their smiles were fake and the pain behind their eyes was visible from a mile away. They were miserable, and for some reason, Ezra thought this would be a good thing to show the world via his Myspace account – and now he was showing Sophie.

"Do you think my mom still has that dress?" Sophie's eyes widened as that would help her take in more of the photo in front of her.

Ezra smiled. He'd thought that Aria looked stunning in the red sweater dress she'd worn that year for church service, and by the way Aria had carried herself, she'd known she looked stunning too. Now, it was funny to see that their daughter shared those same thoughts years later. "I'm not sure. You could ask her."

"Ask me what?" Aria's voice hit the father/daughter duo's ears before her figure registered in their line of vision.

She'd needed to speak to announce her presence to the technology engrossed pair in the room, but Ezra didn't need to actually see her to know that she was still just as exasperated and stressed out as she had been earlier. Her tone gave everything away.

"Do you still have this dress?" Clearly oblivious to her mother's current emotional status, Sophie yanked Ezra's phone from his hand and thrust the screen in Aria's direction.

For a moment, it seemed like Aria hadn't hear her daughter's question. Instead of looking at the screen extended towards her, Aria turned her body to set the bags of food she'd brought in on the bed side table. Sophie let another beat pass before opening her mouth to speak again, only to be cut off by a suddenly responsive Aria.

"If it's from over 5 or 6 years ago, the answer is no."

Sophie's face fell, not out of disappointment but out of sadness. Whether the statement was true or not, Aria hadn't even glanced over to see what the little girl had been so eager to show her. Instead, she'd kept her eyes on the bag of food and began unpacking it rather aggressively. Ezra cocked an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Here's your lunch, Sophie," Aria dropped a plastic container with what appeared to be a soggy grilled cheese in front of her.

"Grilled cheese?" Sophie whined. "I don't want – "

"Sophie, I swear to God," Aria slammed her hands down on the tray, nearly squishing a packet of ranch dressing for the salad she'd bought herself under her palm. "Just eat the goddamn sandwich."

"Aria," Ezra slowly rose from his position on the edge of Sophie's bed, his hand held out like a defense mechanism against his ex's rage. "Can I see you outside really quick?"

Aria's body tensed and her eyes narrowed at his words. Her hazel slits darted back and forth between the brave man who dared to interrupt her and the teary 8-year-old with a limp grilled cheese clutched between her fingers. Her body language suddenly began shifting between defensive and offensive, as if she wanted to challenge him, but had already resigned to the fact that he'd win this argument in the end. It was like she knew it was better just to do as he said and avoid any conflict.

With an exaggerated sigh, Aria turned on her heels and stomped out the door, Ezra tailing closely behind her.

She marched them a few feet away from Sophie's room to ensure that whatever Ezra was about to say to her wouldn't be heard by little ears. When she got to the emergency exit 2 doors down, she stopped and faced Ezra with her arms folded over her chest and a cold, almost menacing look on her face.

" _Don't_ try to get on to me about what just happened back there. Sophie was being a brat, she needed to straighten up. I know you're a new parent and you don't want to play bad cop, but that's part of the job – "

"Aria, stop," Ezra held a hand up, instantly silencing her. "I agree. Sophie was being a bit whiney today. You're right, I'm the new parent, so I'm still in the honeymoon phase with her, but I understand how _you_ would get annoyed. What I don't understand is why you've been annoyed and bitchy _all_ day." He mimicked her stance, trying to come across as serious as possible. "From the moment you woke up, you've been pissed at Sophie. You've snapped at me. And just now it took you almost 45 minutes to get us lunch and considering I bought us lunch yesterday, I know that that is a task that should only take 15-minutes tops. What's going on?"

Aria's mouth parted slightly before she let out a barely audible groan while running her fingers through her hair. Ezra recognized the action as one she used to do a lot before taking the SAT's and ACT's, as well as before final class ranks were announced at the end of their first semester of senior year, and multiple times before she announced her pregnancy. That motion alone was enough to tell Ezra she was acting this way out of stress. Now, he just needed her to say it.

"It's just…Sophie's been in here for 5 days and all I can imagine is the hospital bill that's going to show up at my door in a month. I'm stressed just thinking about the stress I'll feel while trying to scrounge up the money to pay for this, which makes me feel awful. I should be worried about Sophie, but instead, I'm worried about money. And that fact makes me feel like a shitty mother, which means me act like an even shittier one. And while you being here helps, it also puts me under pressure to be this _perfect_ mom, and I just…I'm not. And then Sophie goes and acts like a brat today, which is making a horrible impression on you and – "

"Aria, breathe," Ezra cut her off when he noticed her face was beginning to turn red. "Slow down."

Aria let out a long exhale, looking up to him with her big doe eyes, but keeping quiet.

"First of all, I'm going to help you financially remember? As soon as my accounts are unfrozen, I'll help you out. Second," Ezra cautiously reached out to place a hand on Aria's shoulder, however immediately decided against it. She was already upset enough. She didn't need to feel uncomfortable too. Though, the glint in Aria's eyes that appeared when she realized what was happening told him that maybe it wouldn't have been a mistake to touch her. It may have even been welcomed.

"Sophie doesn't _have_ to make an impression on me. She's a kid. _My_ kid. And I understand that kids act up sometimes. Other times they're angels. I'm going to love her no matter what. Don't worry about that. I won't leave just because she whines too much or throws a tantrum or something. And third," He sighed. "Third, I think you're an amazing mother. You've proven that to me time and time again these past couple of days. Just because Sophie has a bad day, or you have a bad day, doesn't mean I'm going to judge you. You're human. Well, actually based on what I've seen you're superhuman. Seriously, your mothering skills are incredible." He laughed lightly, as if he was joking, but he wasn't.

When Sophie woke up from her medically induced sleep extremely dazed and confused a few days ago, Aria rushed to her bed side and filled her in on everything that had happened while she was asleep. She colored pictures with her and told her elaborate stories before her next bed time. She'd fluffed her pillows, opened her juice boxes, spoke as Sophie's advocate whenever the doctor's were in the room, and never went home once – not to grab extra clothes, not to shower, nothing. She'd sent Ezra to retrieve clothes from her apartment and showered in Sophie's small ICU bathroom. If she didn't have to leave the room, she wouldn't. She'd stuck by Sophie like glue until today. Nothing was going to separate momma bear from her cub.

"Thank you, I just…it's…it doesn't get easier - this whole parenting thing. Especially not when the kid has a chronic illness. I feel like I'm stressed out all the time. I mean, I'd do anything for her, but sometimes it's just too much at once." Aria's eyes had been cast on the ground as she spoke, making it seem to Ezra that she was embarrassed about cracking under intense pressure every once in awhile.

In his opinion, she had nothing to be ashamed of. She was doing her best. It was hard to believe that she and him her the same age. He was so immature compared to her. It would take him years to be as good of a father to Sophie as Aria was a mother – and even then, he'd always be behind her with his skills.

"Ar, you're – "

She didn't verbally interrupt him, but he stopped talking once he noticed her attention move elsewhere, more specifically, behind him. He craned his neck over his shoulder, his eyes being met with a woman slipping on the anti-bacterial blue gowns hospital staff were required to wear when entering a patient's room. She was standing by Sophie's door, looking as if she was about to go in. It wasn't anyone either of them had seen before, which concerned Ezra, but only sparked curiosity in Aria.

Before the sound of Aria's heels against the tiles reached his ears, she was already 10 paces ahead of him, nearly running towards the woman outside of their child's door.

"Excuse me?" Aria lilted in the sweetest, least stressed voice she could muster. "I'm Sophie's mother, who are you?"

"I'm Sydney, one of the hospital's physical therapist." The girl tying the plastic gown at her waist couldn't be much older than Aria, and judging by her facial expression, she was thinking the same thing too. She smiled, but there was a look in her eyes that told him she was glad she wasn't in Aria's shoes. _26 with a child she would've had at 18?_ _Man that must suck._

A sour feeling made a home for itself in the pit of Ezra's stomach. Aria probably got looks like that all the time. She was only 26. Society told her that she was too young to have an 8-year-old, but because she did, she was obviously "easy" in high school. She must've been a "problem child." And because of that, Aria was made to feel insecure about her motherhood every day and no one had done anything about it for 5 years, maybe even more since Matt was away all of the time. Ezra should've been there for her…but he wasn't. And that made him sick.

"I wasn't aware Sophie needed physical therapy." Once again, Aria's arms found their place across her chest. That seemed to be her go to physical response whenever she felt the need to put her guard up.

"The doctor ordered an hour session to assess her progress before she goes home tomorrow," Sydney gave a tight lipped smile, not doing much to hide the ' _shouldn't you already know this?'_ tone in her voice.

"Oh," Aria slumped her shoulders slightly. "Okay. You're taking her right now?"

"Yep," Sydney nodded.

"Okay."

Aria stood back to let Sydney open the door to Sophie's room, figuring she'd follow in behind her, but instead, being pulled backwards by the elbow and off to the side.

"Ezra, what - "

"I have a thought," Ezra stated plainly. "Let's take our lunches down to the cafeteria and eat there while Sophie's in therapy. We can talk, you can relax a bit, then we can come back up here, ready and _happy_ for Sophie to return."

"I don't think I'll ever _relax._ Not here," Aria rolled her eyes and let a burst of air puff out her cheeks.

"I'm going to make sure you do," Ezra smirked. "Because our talk is going to have rules. No medical talk. No money talk. No illness talk. No dredging up our past. No talking about our hardships over the last 8 years."

"What are we supposed to talk about then?" Aria raised an eyebrow, grimacing at the all-too-true joke she'd just made.

"We can discuss what makes us happy now. Our hobbies. Fun and great moments that took place over the last 8 years," Ezra animated his words with grandiose hand gestures, causing Aria to giggle inwardly. "All we've talked about since we've been back in each other's lives are our hardships, Sophie's medical problems, and our past. I'm tired of that. I want to know the mother of my child for who she is now. I want to know _Aria_ again. The happy, silly, fun Aria. I know too much of the other side, at least for the time being."

"I…" Aria sighed. The look on her face said that she knew Ezra was probably on to something. Forgetting about everything for an hour and talking about what made her happy _would_ relax her – and Lord knows she needed to relieve her constant stress headache. It used to be so easy to talk to Ezra, and so far, nothing had gone wrong between them. Maybe not as much had changed between them as they'd previously thought. Maybe this would be good for her.

"Say okay," Ezra encouraged, unable to keep the boyish grin off of his face while he watched Aria sway in his favor.

"Okay."

Line Break

"I don't think I've ever been so hungover in my life," Ezra finished telling the story of his 21st birthday to a crying-laughing Aria about 15 minutes into their lunch.

So far, his plan was working. They were talking about things that they found funny and made them happy, and Aria's stress was slowly starting to disintegrate with each giggle that passed her lips. And although this was only supposed to be therapeutic for Aria, Ezra felt himself feeling more relaxed the longer the conversation went on. Seeing the happy, old Aria made all the apprehension he had about being back in her life again fade away.

It was becoming apparent to the both of them that, other than age and maturity, they hadn't really changed much from 8 years ago. Aria still liked the artsy things like reading and writing. Ezra was still a huge 'Harry Potter' fan and math geek. Sure, they had more experiences under their belt now, but the foundations of who they were hadn't shifted at all.

"What about you?" Ezra raised an eyebrow. "Any crazy drinking stories from your 21st?"

Aria shook her head as she chewed on a piece of lettuce. She brought a hand up to shield her mouth as she swallowed before she was able to speak, "I went out for drinks with some friends, but I had to go home to Soph that night, so I didn't get crazy. Nothing has topped the drinking, the hangover, that I did Fourth of July weekend our junior year. God, that was the worst."

Ezra smiled and nodded, pretending to recall that day, but really berating himself for asking if Aria had done anything crazy for her 21st birthday. Of course she hadn't. At that time, she was the mother of an almost 3-year-old. Partying and drinking until she vomited was not something she would have been doing back then. She probably didn't even do it now. That was a life she left behind the minute the pregnancy test read positive.

"Mmm," Aria hummed, as she sipped on her iced tea. "Not true. I did get a horrible hangover a couple of years ago after a night of drinking with this guy I was seeing. I didn't think I had that much, but my body did. Maybe I'm just getting old and that was my body's way of telling me to slow down."

"Please don't say you're old," Ezra shook his head fervently. "You and I are the same age. If you're old, I'm old."

"If you're a bird, I'm a bird," Aria muttered sarcastically, just loud enough for Ezra to hear and make him stop the rant he had coming.

"'Notebook' reference?" Ezra chuckled, cocking an eyebrow. "I should've known you'd like such a cheesy movie."

Aria laughed, letting her head loll from side to side, "Since you know the reference that means you've watched it. Don't be a hypocrite. I bet you enjoyed it just as much as I did."

"Nicole loved it and forced me to watch it several times. I wouldn't say it holds the dearest place in my heart at the moment," Ezra scoffed.

"Did she ever make you watch 'The Lucky One'?" Aria stabbed at her salad, but kept her eyes on Ezra.

"No," He narrowed his eyes as if he were trying to make sure his answer to her question was truthful. "No, I don't think so."

"Well, if she didn't make you watch that, I will. When we get home, you and I are going to have a movie night after Sophie goes to bed. That's a really good movie. I think you'll like it," Aria smiled.

Ezra returned the gesture, but said nothing. His insides were too busy being consumed by a familiar, but long lost warmth. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in years, though he knew exactly what it was. _Infatuation._

He didn't know whether the idea of going home with Aria and watching a movie like old times excited him, or _she_ excited him. He hoped it was the former. He couldn't get involved romantically with Aria. Not again. Regardless if he wanted to…or had dreamt about it nonstop the past few days. She was his friend and that's all she could be.

She probably hadn't meant anything by her comment either. Maybe she hadn't watched a chick-flick with an adult in awhile and wanted some company. Maybe it was a totally innocent pass.

Or maybe it wasn't.

She hadn't pulled away from his touch lately. She'd hugged him several times, laughed with him, and talked with him into the wee hours of the morning before falling asleep. It felt so much like old times that it was becoming hard for him to fight off the old feelings he'd once had. What if she was going through the same thing?

He wanted to test the waters. He wanted to say, " _It's a date"_ and then gauge her reaction _._ But he couldn't.

So instead, he just smiled at her until she looked away and said a little prayer that things would work out between them, be it just as friends or as more. Either way, he was willing to give them a shot. He just hoped she was too.

 **A/N: So first of all I want to apologize for 2 things: time and quality. As I mentioned in the last chapter, I just moved in to my dorm. I've been busy with freshman camps and meeting new people, but I have had free time. Each time I sat down to write, I couldn't. I guess the change in surrounding has thrown me off. I'm trying to get used to it, and it's getting easier by the day, but it has made it really hard to write this chapter. I suffered from horrible writer's block with this chapter. I know it's low quality and filler, but it's the best I can do now. I already made y'all wait more than a week, so I wanted to get this up for y'all without any more delay.**

 **I plan to update again on Sunday. Hopefully I can stick to that. I will try my best for y'all. In the meantime, please let me know what you thought of this chapter. Like I said, I know it's filler, but there were some important pieces of information given. Let me know your thoughts and predictions for future chapters. Your reviews mean the world to me. Especially now. They're super motivating and encouraging. I appreciate your views and reviews more than anything.**

 **I hope y'all enjoyed. As always, thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: To the anon who asked me to answer a question in my author's note: you quoted my last chapter and asked if the quote you used implied that something happened to Aria that made her break up with Ezra when they were kids. The answer is yes. This something has been mentioned in previous chapters but never called the reason for their breakup – not yet anyway. It will be addressed later on. Probably within the next 2-3 chapters.**

 _2007_

It was the trail of pancake batter that had given them away.

What had started as a friendly game of "batter tag" had turned into a vicious affair that led to lighthearted screaming and pleading for their safety. And like all things usually did for Aria and Ezra, it had ended with Aria on the counter, her legs wrapped around Ezra's waist, and their tongues tasting the inside of the other's mouth.

Well…technically it had _ended_ the minute Ezra's little brother Wes heard the commotion downstairs, followed the dots of pancake batter on the kitchen floor, and walked in on his brother with his fingers inside of the girl he's claimed was his "best friend." Wes was only 8 at the time, but he was pretty sure friends didn't kiss their friends the way Ezra was kissing Aria. And they _certainly_ didn't stick their body parts _inside_ of the person they called their friend. The poor boy had just walked himself into his first lesson about the birds and the bees, while his poor brother was forced to not only _teach_ that lesson, but also had to dole out $50 to ensure that what Wes had seen stayed between them.

Less than 5 minutes had passed since the 8-year-old had muttered the infamous words, "What the heck are you guys doing?" that halted the adult activities taking place in the kitchen. Aria's cheeks were still flushed. Ezra still had an erection. And for the most part, Wes was still in the dark about what had been going on between his older brother and Aria, who he now knew was Ezra's _girlfriend._

The clock on the wall read 4 till midnight. While the time was no problem for the 17 and almost 17 year olds sitting on the love seat in the Fitz kids' living room, it was hours past the little one's bed time.

As instructed by Ezra's mother before she went out that evening with her new husband, they had put Wes to bed around 9. Once the lights were out and Wes's door was shut, the 2 retreated downstairs for a quiet movie and some alone time. But some internal cries of hunger and a craving for blueberry pancakes later, all conscious efforts to keep it down went out the window. Before they knew it, pancake batter was decorating their skin and the floor, stray blueberries were scattered around the room, and Wes was behind them, watching an affair he didn't quite understand.

The tension in the room was thick. Despite being confused, Wes was pretty nonchalant about what he'd witnessed. He wasn't thinking too much about what needed to be said because, well, he didn't know. Aria and Ezra, on the other hand, did. And they knew that whatever they said had to be strategically worded. Wes was only 8 after all. They had to make sure that the things they said wouldn't be so vague that they left him with more questions, but not so explicit that he sold the things they told him like candy on the playground.

They both remembered what it was like to be 8. To refer to sex as s-e-x, as if it were a dirty word. And to listen to any information anyone had on the taboo subject because they weren't getting anything out of their parents. Knowledge about "grown up things" like sex or vulgarity were like crack to little kids. And if you knew anything about said "grown up things", your popularity status went through the roof. That's part of what made Alison so popular at such a young age.

They needed to make sure that whatever they told Wes wouldn't be repeated, and certainly wouldn't be the reason he and Ezra's mother, now Mrs. Landon, got an angry phone call from the elementary administrative office. They had to explain this to him in such a way that he would understand it, while still retaining most, if not all, of his mental innocence.

"How long have you guys been dating?" Wes asked, breaking the silence s he kicked his legs up and down to coax his body into staying awake.

Ezra opened his mouth to respond, but looked to Aria for assurance before he did so. She narrowed her eyes, shock flashing quickly over her features before it turned to something that resembled anger. She thought he'd forgotten how long they'd been dating.

"2, almost 3 years," Aria answered without taking her eyes off of Ezra.

He nodded to tell her that he'd known that answer too, but she just rolled her eyes and looked away. He made a mental note to explain his small action to her later, but otherwise let her attitude roll off of his shoulders. She was embarrassed and stressed about the situation. Out of the 2 of them, she was the one most concerned with keeping them a secret. She liked the privacy, the mystery, the trust they received from their parents to go out together. And now that the fate of their secret relationship rested in the hands of an 8 -year-old, her bundles of nerves had bundles of nerves, so she was a bit on edge.

"2 years?" Wes's eyes widened to full capacity. "Holy moly. How have you kept that from mom and Ms. Ella?"

Ezra almost laughed, and he would've had he not been worried about pissing off Aria. He found it funny that even at 8, Wes still knew that their mother and Ella were 2 of the nosiest, most invasive mothers on the planet. They knew everything about every move their children made, who they were talking to, who their friends were, and who they're dating…or so they thought. But maintaining a "just friends" façade in front of their parents had been surprisingly easy over the past 2 years.

Aria and Ezra had always been inseparable, so it didn't seem weird to either of their parents when they told them they were going out with the other alone. They were picky about their level of PDA, really only allowing themselves to be touchy in front of their friends. They deleted any and all sappy or explicit text messages and extended phone calls from their phone's history. They had strict "no couple-like interaction" at their houses that they had put in place after Ella nearly walked in on Aria dry humping Ezra on her bed a few months ago. And once Aria decided she was tired of excessively using make up to cover hickeys, she made a rule that only allowed Ezra to give her hickeys where no one else would see them. He was _definitely_ enjoying that challenge.

"We were careful," Ezra shrugged, answering the question after deciding Aria was taking too long to respond. "We are careful."

"Not careful enough," Aria grunted.

Ezra let his eyes flutter shut in annoyance at Aria's response. It was times like these that reminded him that they were no longer in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. They rarely fought, but that didn't mean they didn't get on each other's nerves. Aria had an attitude like Ezra had never seen before. She would back talk, make comments under her breath, or freeze him out all together when she was in one of her pissed off moods. She always had to be right, and when she wasn't, or when she was and things didn't turn out in her favor, she shut down, which was probably why she was acting the way she was now.

She had warned him against the make out session they had on the counter. She'd cautioned him about Wes possibly hearing them. But Ezra had talked her into it. He knew exactly what to say to get her to do what he wanted, and vice versa. The odds just worked in his favor this time. He'd won the small skirmish and had her wrapped around his waist in no time. She'd been enjoying herself until Wes walked in. Now, she was angry with Ezra, as if it were his fault she had given into him so easily. She'd wanted him as much as he'd wanted her. They were both at fault. But of course, she only wanted to blame Ezra.

"Why don't you just tell mom?" Wes wondered aloud.

"It's complicated," Ezra shrugged.

"I'm 8. I can understand complicated stuff," Wes protested, folding his arms over his Superman pajama clad chest.

Aria snorted, startling Ezra. He shot her a look, catching her with her hand over her mouth and her cheeks pulled upwards towards her eyes. Wes had unintentionally made her laugh. Despite his current aversion towards Aria and her mood, the sound made Ezra's heart flutter. Cheesy as it was, her giggles were like music to his ears. The noise meant that she was happy, even if it were only for a fleeting moment. And he liked when she was happy.

"Our moms would never give us any privacy if they knew we were dating," Aria offered up a simple solution to Wes's question, her shoulders still shaking with laughter.

"Why do you need privacy?" Wes cocked his head to the side while his older brother and Aria exchanged sly glances.

The answer to that question was far more adult and long winded than either of them wanted to say. There were many reasons they needed privacy, or wanted it at least. Aside from the heavy make out sessions that often led to foreplay, Aria and Ezra were both very introverted people. They liked their alone time, even if that alone time was spent _together._ They liked lying in bed, their legs tangled together, her head on his chest, just talking about anything and everything. They liked the stolen glances and passing touches that gave them an adrenaline rush around family. They liked the secrecy.

"So we can kiss," Aria decided on the shortest answer possible.

Wes made a face that showed his disgust towards Aria's comment. "Ew. Why do you want to kiss my brother?"

Ezra laughed, assuming Aria would say something like "He's a great kisser." She'd told _him_ that many times before. But instead, she just mimicked the face Wes had made and whispered, "I don't really know." The comment was in good fun, and by the wink Aria shot at Ezra after the words left her lips, he knew she had meant it as a joke…and that her bitchy mood was slowly melting away.

On more than one occasion, Ezra had noticed that Aria snapped out of her attitudes quicker if she was around a child. She seemed to enjoy talking to them and often put her "teenager" issues aside long enough for her to calm down once the child walked away. As much as Ezra hated that Wes had interrupted the make out session that he was sure would've led them to his bed for their first time, he was grateful for his presence in the moment. Hopefully by the time they were done talking, Aria would be back to her normal self and would've forgotten about the fact that she was supposed to be angry with her boyfriend.

"Ezra," Wes shifted his eyes to meet Ezra's. "Why were you touching her private parts? Mom says we aren't even supposed to touch our own around other people."

By the end of his statement, Aria's face had turned beat red and was buried in her hands, while Ezra just sat up straight, his mouth agape, with only small attempts at sound passing through the opening. They'd both known the conversation was heading this way, but they'd both hoped Wes would forget about _that_ part of the evening. But then again, what little boy would forget the first time he ever really saw a vagina…or his brother finger fucking it?

"Uh, well, um…" Ezra grasped at nothing as he tried to formulate the best, most innocent excuse for what had been going on between them. "We…uh…" He looked to Aria for help, but her face was still hidden by her palms. The question had been directed at Ezra. There was no way in hell that she was going to attempt to answer.

"Well…do you…has mom ever told you…where babies come from?" Ezra choked out, hoping that that was a good, safe place to start.

Wes's eyes widened, "You guys were trying to make a baby?"

Aria screeched, but kept her head where it was, not wanting to make eye contact with either of the Fitz children. Ezra just rapidly shook his head. "No. No. God, no. Not for like 10-15 years. No."

"Then what – "

"Aria and I were…well…what we were doing was kind of like that, but without the risk of accidentally making a baby." The words were heavy on Ezra's tongue. This was a topic that not even he and Aria had discussed. They both wanted to have sex. They both knew the risks. But they'd never actually sat down and had a conversation about it. He never guessed that the first time the topic of Aria accidentally getting pregnant with their child would be discussed with Wes. And while it wasn't an in depth conversation, it still breeched the topic, which was something they had been weary to do.

"Then why did you do it?" Wes asked, indirectly telling them that he was still to young to understand that people had sex for pleasure, not just to start a family.

"It's fun," Ezra muttered, earning him a light slap on the leg from a still embarrassed Aria.

Wes furrowed his brow, but said no more on the subject. Instead he turned his attention to the kitchen, where pancake batter was still dripping from the counter tops, and smirked. "Mom's going to be so mad when she sees the mess you guys made. How did that even happen in the first place?"

"We…" Ezra trailed off to laugh. Aria parroted with giggles of her own.

The small food fight they'd had had been incredibly petty. It started with Ezra taking a glob of pancake batter and wiping it across Aria's nose after she refused to kiss him after he'd teased her about her mixing skills. She combatted his action by taking the spoon covered in batter and running it down his bare chest. Shortly after that, the batter was being thrown from their hands as they ducked and rolled between the furniture, as were the blueberries they'd intended to put in the pancakes. It was childish and it was messy, but it sure had been fun.

"Our food fight escalated a little too much," Ezra ran his hand down his chest that had been covered in a creamy batter before Wes interrupted them.

"And it led to you guys kissing? Teenagers are weird," Wes rolled his eyes.

"Yes, we are," Ezra nodded. "And referring to what you said earlier, yes mom is going to be mad. But she'll be even more mad if she comes home and you're awake. So, go get back in bed and Aria and I will clean up the kitchen. When mom gets home hopefully it will be spotless and you'll be sound asleep. We're the only 3 who need to know this night happened this way, got it?"

Wes held a thumb up as he got off the chair was in. "Got it. But you promise me cash to keep your secret. I expect it in my room when I wake up."

Ezra rolled his eyes as he stood up before extending a hand to Aria to help her off the couch. "Okay, but Wes, you _have_ to keep this a secret. You don't tell mom. You don't tell our step-dad, Bryce. You don't tell dad. You don't tell your friends at school. You don't tell anyone. If you have any questions about Aria and me, just come to me and ask. I'm willing to talk as long as you keep your mouth shut to everyone else."

As Ezra spoke, Wes began trudging up the stairs, nodding the whole way up. "I will. Night, Ez. Love you."

"Love you too, Wes," Ezra responded, running a hand up and down Aria's back just as Wes disappeared around the corner of the stair landing.

For the second time that night, Aria and Ezra were alone again. Although, unlike the last time when hunger had dominated their choices, the lingering tension, both sexual and otherwise, told them what to do. Cleaning would help them keep their hands busy and their minds focused. They could metaphorically scrub away their embarrassment, anger, and wants. And they figured that by the time they got done, there wouldn't be much time left to talk about what had just happened or anything else for that matter. Ezra's mom and step-dad would return home. Aria would leave. And they'd talk to each other in the morning. Well… technically just later that morning.

However, the last remnants of their food fight were scraped away just after 1 am. His parents weren't due home until 3. After insincerely offering Aria the option to just go home and her half-hearted denial, the couple found themselves on the couch once more. And as if the night hadn't been awkward enough for the both of them, after skirting around the subject for so long, they decided it was time to talk about the one thing they'd been putting off: sex and its consequences.

While Aria had blamed Ezra earlier for the horribly uncomfortable scenario they'd put themselves in, she now blamed Wes for the level of discomfort she was facing. Had he not asked about babies, they would've avoided this subject for a little bit longer. But because it had been mentioned, Ezra had convinced her to just bite the bullet and talk about it – as if Wes's casual mention of them having a child had been a sign.

"I'm tying to get my mom to let me start birth control," Aria said while fiddling with the hem of Ezra's shirt that she was currently wearing.

"Trying?"

"Well, I've mentioned it once or twice, but never in a serious context. I guess I should ask about it more head on though.," Aria paused to sigh. "I'm tired of waiting."

Ezra tried to fight the smile that pulled at his lips. It was nice hearing that Aria was on the same page he was. "Me too. But I…I have condoms."

"Those aren't 100% effective though," Aria argued. "I'd rather be covered on both ends. I don't want to graduate with a baby bump."

Ezra nodded, but stayed silent for a moment. He wanted to ask a question, but was unsure if it would make Aria uneasy or angry. Though, after tossing it around in his head, he decided it was best just to be straightforward and ask. It _was_ just a question after all.

"Would you…if you did get pregnant, no saying you will, but if you did…would you have an abortion?"

"Yes." Aria answered without hesitation.

"Oh," was all Ezra could say.

He wasn't disappointed or shocked by her answer, he was just surprised that she'd answered so quickly. They may have never talked about it before, but it was clear Aria had thought about it many times before today.

If she ever got pregnant in high school, she wasn't going to have the baby. He didn't blame her. He didn't want a baby getting in the way of their lives right now either. They wanted to go to college. They couldn't do that with a baby. Well, the could. But Aria couldn't attend NYU. Ezra couldn't attend Stanford. They'd have to stay in Rosewood, close to family, and attend Hollis. And it would be over his dead body that he stayed in Rosewood and took care of an infant during the better part of his 20's.

"Well…" Aria backtracked. "Probably. I feel like it's easy to say when there isn't a child inside of you, but in the moment, who knows? Hopefully I'll never have to make that decision though. As long as we're careful we should have no problem."

"You're right," Ezra agreed, to what part of her response, he didn't know, but he agreed. "I love you," He added before leaning in to give Aria a quick kiss.

However, to his dismay, she pulled back. "Ew, no. You're covered in dried batter," She giggled, gently pushing his face to the side.

"So are you," He protested, leaning in closer, forcing Aria onto her back as a means of escape.

"I know and I feel gross," She scrunched up her nose as she looked Ezra up and down as if his body were her own.

"Well there's a shower upstairs that can fix that," Ezra laughed, not meaning anything by the comment. Thought, the mischievous glint in Aria's eyes told him that she thought he'd meant _everything_ by the comment.

"Will you join me? We've got a couple of hours before Bryce and your mom get back." She ran a hand down his bare back as she spoke, letting her nails softly scrape against his skin.

"Of course. But we have to be quiet."

The two ended the night the way they'd intended to start it, with some much needed alone time and a means to get off. Their desire for one another was growing stronger by the day, and it was obvious to the both of them that their first time was somewhere in the near future. Once Aria got on birth control, they'd have the green light to do what they pleased. And after their conversation tonight, they figured they had all of their bases covered. They would be careful. Nothing would happen to them. And they'd just love each other even more.

Boy, were they wrong.

 **A/N: So it's Thursday. I know I said I'd update on Sunday, but I never got around to it. College has me swamped, be it with social obligations/opportunities, classes, or homework. It's a lot different that being in high school, and while I'm really loving my time here, I've been putting my first love (writing) on the back burner. I don't like that I've kept y'all waiting, but things either got in the way, or I let them get in the way because college allows you so much more freedom and I've really been taking advantage of that. (I literally went to a small party on Monday night because why not? Who's stopping me? Haha) But I am trying to write as much as I can in my spare time. I promise you that I will never abandon this story and I will absolutely do my best to never let more than a week pass without updating. If I do, feel free to PM me to make sure I'm still alive.**

 **Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. I want to thank you guys for your wonderful reviews on the last chapter and encourage you to keep reviewing. Please don't let this slight delay deter you. They really motivate me and I love getting feedback. So let me know your thoughts on this chapter and predictions for the next one.**

 **I won't promise a specific day I'll update, because obviously I'm having trouble keeping it. But I will promise that I will update within a week.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**

 **PS: How great was the finale? But also, how pissed off are you at Ezra? My answers: it was amazing aside from the whole Ezria thing, and very.**


	24. Chapter 24

_2016_

When Aria had suggested that she and Ezra watch 'The Lucky One' once Sophie was released from the hospital, _this_ wasn't what she'd had in mind.

She figured that they'd sit on their respective sides of the couch with a bowl of popcorn in between them. She thought she'd interrupt the movie a few times to gush over her favorite parts and that Ezra might tell her to hush. She assumed it would be a normal movie night between 2 people who were trying to become friends again in order to raise their child in a somewhat normal household. But that wasn't at all what she got.

Sophie had been discharged from the PICU earlier that afternoon. Just like the day before, rain fell hard from the sky and had no plans on stopping at any point. That made for a slow and steady drive home for the small family, with Aria and Sophie in one car, and Ezra tailing them in another. They'd pulled off into an IHOP parking lot when the rain got a little too hard to see to road properly, and decided to go inside and eat while they waited out the storm. Aria hadn't given a second thought to the situation until Sophie had gotten up to go to the bathroom and Aria and Ezra were left alone sitting across from one another, each with a stack of strawberry banana pancakes, just like the old days.

Feeling 17 again around Ezra brought about some of the best and worst senses of déjà vu that Aria could imagine. Their relationship had seemed like the ultimate love story, but it had ended so tragically and all too soon. She'd tried to suppress the comparison over the past few days, only allowing herself to make mental note of how familiar the hugs, the touches, and the dinners felt, but otherwise focused all of her attention on their daughter. But as they sat across from each other in a booth they'd probably occupied at least once during their lost romance, Aria could no longer fight the thought…or the feelings that came along with it.

She'd taken note of his old habits, like the way he poured his syrup in an 'x' over his pancakes before drowning them in an unintelligible shape. She had discreetly watched him chew and remembered the way she used to kiss the sticky, sweet residue his meal left behind off of his lips. She'd felt his eyes on her at times and tried not to make too much eye contact, wanting the walls she'd built up over time to still appear in tact, when in reality, they were falling apart quicker than she'd wanted them to. And when their feet accidentally brushed under the table, she'd felt a surge of electricity shoot through her body, making her heart beat a million times a minute. She'd almost looked at Ezra to see if he'd felt it too, but she opted not to. The way he awkwardly cleared his throat told her all she needed to know.

When Sophie got back to the table, Aria shook off the unsettling thoughts that maybe her hatred towards Ezra was just a substitute for love while she couldn't give him any, and zeroed in on making conversation with her 8-year-old. They talked about what she was excited about learning during the upcoming school year, praised her for how brave she was during her hospital stay, and even made plans for the 3 of them to go on an outing to the aquarium in Philly within the next few weeks. At the end of their meal, Ezra offered to pay the check, and the feelings and thoughts inside of Aria seemed to have calmed down and gone back to normal.

Back at the apartment, Sophie kept Ezra busy by showing him her collection of stuffed animals and Barbie's, while Aria cooked them dinner. Every so often, Aria would glance over at the father of her child to make sure he hadn't passed out from information overload. Each time her eyes met the 2 figures sitting on the couch, she was surprised. Not only was Ezra still alert, but he was actively paying attention and asking questions such as, "When did Mr. Cuddles and Polly Pig become such good friends?" and "Are you going to invite me to Barbie and Ken's wedding?" His reactions made Aria giggle, but at the same time, they made her heart feel incredibly full. Sophie hadn't had _this…_ this attention from a father figure, this connection with a male adult, in a very long time. And it was evident on the little girl's face that she had been feeling just as grateful for Ezra being in her life as her mother was. So far, he was proving himself to be a great dad.

After dinner, the 3 worked together to wash and dry dishes and then it was bath time for Sophie. And after that, she was off too bed, but not before criticizing Aria and Ezra for talking too loud in the living room and disturbing the sleep she hadn't even tried to get yet. Aria tried to reason with the girl, but like almost always, she lost the battle, forcing her and Ezra to move their movie night into the only other room in the apartment with a TV. Aria's bedroom.

Aria had been weary about letting _any_ man into her room since Matt died, especially when her daughter was home. In fact, up until now, no man had done so much as looked her bed for more than a few seconds.

The mattress that she slept on every night had been the one she and Matt had shared during their marriage. It had been the place of many sleepless nights and Skype calls. Tears were shed and kisses were given on that king sized bed. And if Aria laid in the right spot and turned over, one of the springs would squeak, bringing up memories of a particularly passionate night she and Matt had shared before his deployment. That was the night she realized that she _could_ love someone who wasn't Ezra Fitz.

Because of all of those things, Aria had a strict no sleepovers rule. If the guy wanted to spend the night with her, to have sex with her, he had to take her back to his place, or at least a hotel room.

But because Ezra wasn't just _any_ guy, and because she'd thoughtlessly been letting her every guard down around him, the rule she'd upheld her nearly 5 years was abruptly broken.

The movie had ended about an hour ago, at which point Aria had expected Ezra to get up and leave. She'd offered to let him stay the night, but she'd meant stay the night on the couch, like he had last time. It was becoming more and more clear that she should've made that part obvious. But it was also becoming more and more difficult to tell him her original intentions.

He was lying down. One hand propped his head up so that he could look at her while they talked, while the other balanced a glass of red wine of the "pillow wall" Aria had constructed between them at the beginning of the movie. During the film, Ezra had kept to his respective side of the plush wall. However, now he was testing the boundaries, his arm holding the wine on her side of the bed, and one leg draped over a pillow near their feet. Aria knew she should tell him to move back, but she couldn't find the courage, nor the desire to actually open her mouth and speak.

They were having fun, laughing and drinking. Aria was on her third glass of wine and beginning to feel a little tipsy, but she welcomed the buzz. For what felt like the first time, Aria was totally and completely at ease with Ezra. There was no tension, no awkwardness, no bad taste in her mouth. She was enjoying herself. She was enjoying Ezra.

"My mom would have a heart attack if she walked in and saw you lying in my bed," Aria offered her words as a segway from their previous topic of horribly awkward parental encounters.

"Why?" Ezra furrowed his brow as he pulled his wine glass from his lips. "We're aren't doing anything except talking. Plus, we're adults, so it's not like our parents have a say in what we do anymore."

Aria shook her head. He didn't get it. "My mom hates you."

The sentence left her mouth before she could stop it. However, her cloudy state of mind barred her from really caring that she'd said something so abrasive. To her, it was the truth. It was pointless to feed Ezra lies, and lies had hurt them so much in the past, she figured it'd be best to avoid them. Though, maybe _this_ subject wasn't the best place to start spewing unfiltered facts.

"What?" It was evident in Ezra's voice that he'd been stung by Aria's words. Ella had always been like a second mother to him. Finding out that she no longer liked him was like finding out that his own mom had ex-communicated him. It was painful.

"Oh yeah. Ever since our fallout, your name had been like Voldemort's in our household. For years, my mom solely referred to you as 'asshole-who-must-not-be-named'. Now, she just doesn't mention you at all." Aria shrugged, ignoring the part of her brain that told her that this was a bad idea and that she should shut up.

Ezra stayed silent, a cue that Aria should've changed the subject, but one she misjudged to mean she should just keep talking until he had something to say on the matter.

"I talked a lot of shit about you, Ezra. You hurt me, and being 18, I dealt with it the way any teenager would. I slandered your name to anyone who would listen long enough. My mom was my biggest supporter, so she got the biggest earful. I told her almost everything and she was appalled at your actions. Of course, like you mentioned in the hotel room about a week ago, I told the story so that it was skewed in my favor. I'm sure my mom knew that, but she took my side anyway. She cried with me, yelled with me, she even offered to make me a dart board with your face on it and then play darts with me. Her hatred towards you is almost as passionate as mine was."

Ella was an amazing mother. She was someone that Aria had always looked up to, and now that she was a mother herself, Aria was using everything she'd learned from Ella to be the best mother she could be for Sophie.

Growing up, Ella had always been Aria's number one fan. She doted on her only daughter as much as she could. When Aria had mastered her somersault routine in her 5/6-year-old tumbling class, that became the only thing Ella talked about to her friends and coworkers. When Aria won an award for something she wrote in the 8th grade, Ella printed it multiple copies, ensuring that she had a good conversation starter with her wherever she went. And when Aria graduated from college only months behind other people her age, Ella bragged to anyone who would listen about how _her_ daughter finished college while simultaneously raising her _own_ daughter.

There was no denying that Ella was good at bragging about her children. But what she was even better at was supporting them. When Aria had lost the spelling bee in 3rd grade, Ella helped boost her confidence with a long pep talk and ice cream. Aside from Ezra, Ella was one of the first people to know about the horrible acts committed against Aria on Halloween of her senior year. She'd held Aria in her arms and listen as the then 17-year-old cried and cried. She'd offered to help Aria seek legal action, in fact she insisted they do so. But when Aria refused to press any charges, Ella didn't fight back. She simply nodded and squeezed her daughter tighter. And when Aria announced her pregnancy to her parents, trembling and ready for a screaming match, Ella simply began offering up solutions to help Aria through that difficult time. Of course, she'd been a bit disappointed in her daughter, but in the end, she'd known it was better to be there for her rather than to condemn her for something she couldn't undo.

Both of those overtly "mama bear" traits of Ella's are what led to her hating her daughter's ex-best friend. According to Ella, Aria didn't deserve to be treated the way Ezra had treated her. She deserved more respect, more sympathy. Any man who couldn't give that to her, be it a stranger or someone she'd known for years, was dead to Ella.

"Does she know...about…" Ezra had his eyes cast on the pillows between them as he skirted around asking such a heavy question directly.

"Nope," Aria popped the 'p' in her one-worded answer.

"So she thinks that I just walked away because I didn't want to have a pregnant friend?" Ezra traced his finger around the rim of his glass, annoyance and hurt cutting through his tone.

Aria chuckled darkly, shaking her head and slowly bringing her glass to her mouth, "I didn't paint myself to be _that_ much of a saint in the situation, Ez. I told her that you and I had been dating…that we'd been…sexually active. But I didn't want anyone doubting that Matt could be the father. I told her that we broke up for good after that horrible Halloween party and that I had gotten together with Matt towards the end of January, which I had. I just told her that…well that you were pissed because I was pregnant with someone else's child and you didn't want to be around me or the baby."

Ezra nodded as Aria spoke, his lips drawn downwards in an exaggerated frown. He let a silent beat pass while he collected his thoughts before he responded to her comments. "So, the only person who really, truly knows the story of what happened between us is Nicole?"

"You told her we were dating for years?" Aria asked. Ezra nodded. "You told her that we had regular sex?" He nodded. "You told her that there was a possibility that the baby was yours?" He nodded. "Then yes, she's the only one who knows the real story." She paused, "Matt knew most of it. So did the girls. They just never knew that last part."

"I'm surprised they never figured it out," Ezra thought aloud. "Spencer is like the most observant person I know."

"She is," Aria giggled. "But she's been too busy with her job and her godmother-ly duties to ask many questions as of late."

"Spencer is Sophie's godmother?" Ezra raised an eyebrow. He wasn't as much surprised that Spencer was his daughter's godmother as he was that his daughter _had_ a godmother at all. Aria wasn't Catholic. That left him to figure that maybe Matt was. "Does she have a godfather?"

"Mike," Aria said plainly.

"That's good. That's good," Ezra muttered. "What would they think if they found out we were… _talking_ again? You said Ella would have a heart attack. What about them?"

Aria bit her lip. What _about_ them? Emily had freaked out on Aria the minute she saw Ezra and Sophie interacting at The Brew. And while Emily was a dear friend, she wasn't nearly as close to Aria as Spencer was. Aria would die for Spencer. She'd kill anyone who tried to hurt her best friend. And Spencer would do the same.

After Aria's fallout with Ezra, Spencer had been the first one to suggest grabbing torches and pitchforks and marching down to his house. Like Ella, Spencer had been on Aria's side with no questions asked. Aria was right because Aria was her best friend. And no one fucks with her best friend.

Spencer had reported Ezra's divorce about 2 weeks ago as a means to make Aria happy. She figured that hearing of Ezra's misfortunes would make Aria feel better about their past. She was ready to sit in a chair with some popcorn and watch him drown in lawyer fees and depression all because she thought Aria would derive pleasure from it.

So to answer half of Ezra's question, Spencer would be livid. But what about Mike?

Mike loved Aria. He loved Sophie. He'd even been close with Matt. But he'd never been _friends_ with Ezra. The 2 had always been friendly, but Ezra had been Aria's friend, so Mike kept his distance. His real interactions with Ezra had been few and far between, unlike Ella's and Spencer's. So when his older sister stopped talking to her best friend of 18 years, Mike had felt very indifferent. Sure, he was angry at Ezra for hurting his sister, but he hadn't felt a personal loss. And while he knew the story that Aria had told everyone, it just didn't hit him as hard. He figured that since Ezra had left town, there was no reason to hold a grudge. Out of sight, out of mind. That attitude had helped Aria be slightly more levelheaded about her situation, but now, all it helped her be was confused. She had no idea how Mike would feel about Ezra's return.

"I don't know," Aria gave the best, vague answer she could. "But don't put emphasis on the word _talking._ We aren't _talking._ We're talking. We're being friendly. We're trying to figure out the best way to go about our fucked up parenting situation. That's it."

"I didn't mean it like that, Ar," Ezra rolled his eyes, slowly retracting his arm from her side of the pillow wall. "Speaking of our fucked up parenting situation…"

Ezra trailed off for a brief second, allowing Aria to intervene. Even with her blurred thoughts, Aria knew where Ezra was headed with that statement. He wanted to discuss breaking the news to Sophie. He wanted to discuss a formal DNA test. He wanted to discuss adoption. He'd mentioned all of these things back at the hospital, but Aria was able to fend them off with claims of stress and agitation. Now that they were home, Aria didn't have an excuse to avoid those topics. But that sure as hell didn't mean she wasn't going to think of one.

"Can we…" Aria started, her tone a little too eager to interrupt for her liking. "Can we talk about something different? I feel like all we talk about is our fallout and how we're going to deal with Sophie. Let's talk about something fun, or at least, new."

Ezra sighed, "You can't keep avoiding the inevitable forever, Ar."

"Not forever," Aria pursed her lips. "Just for right now."

"Aria…"

"Okay, if you're so eager to talk about a heavy topic, let's talk about your divorce with Nicole. I think I have a right to know what drove my child's father to end his marriage." Aria didn't really believe what she'd just said. She didn't have a right to know anything about Ezra and Nicole, but that didn't mean she wasn't dying to know what had happened between them.

When Aria first saw Ezra change his marital status on Facebook a few years ago, she hadn't known what to think. For the better part of her life, Aria had always thought that she and Ezra would be tying to knot once they were old enough, so seeing a woman who wasn't her become Mrs. Ezra Fitz made her body burn with a feeling she didn't want to admit was jealousy. At that time, she'd still had Matt. She had no reason to be jealous. She knew that in her head, but she was unable to convince that of her heart.

Aria tried her best to ignore Ezra's posts with Nicole. In the beginning, she'd gone through their honeymoon album more times than she wanted to admit to anyone, but after a few months, Aria became numb to their happiness. And over time, Aria found herself forgetting Nicole's name and, up until recently, her face. Holding onto memories of a woman who got everything she'd once wanted as a teenager would only cause her pain.

However, now that Nicole was slowly slipping out of Ezra's life, Aria wanted to know everything about her and about what had gone down in their marriage. It had to end for a reason, and Aria wanted to make sure that whatever that reason was it meant that Ezra and Nicole would never be getting back together.

But Aria wasn't jealous. Not at all.

"I'd rather not," Ezra took a rather large sip of his wine, finishing off an amount that should've take at least 3-4 more sips.

"Why not? We've talked about every problem under the sun, except that one. It's only fair," Aria coaxed.

"Because it sucks and it's embarrassing," Ezra shrugged.

"Embarrassing? What, did she cheat on you to get better sex or something?"

That question was a low blow, however, Aria hadn't intended to get a positive answer out of it. In her experience, there _was_ no better sex than sex with Ezra. No one had ever made Aria feel as loved, as safe, or as euphoric as Ezra had. And the last time she'd made love to him had been 8 years ago. Surely, he'd only gotten better.

But when Ezra's silence spoke louder than his words ever could, Aria tried her best to keep the shock off of her face. Instead, she just nodded and squeaked out a barely audible "Oh."

"I found out back in January," Ezra spoke after a moment. "We tried to work it out, but I was putting in more effort than she was. We filed for divorce in April. She let the guy she was sleeping with move into our house in May. She's already wearing his ring."

Ezra didn't sound angry as he spoke. He didn't even sound upset. He sounded numb, like he still couldn't believe it.

"There was a lot of other shit that was going on in our marriage too. Her cheating was like the last straw."

"I'm so sorry," Aria muttered. It was a lame response, but it was all she had to offer.

"It's not your fault, Aria," Ezra shook his head as he pushed himself into a sitting position so he could get a better look at the woman next to him. "Well maybe it is."

Aria raised on eyebrow.

"Forgive me if this is inappropriate," Ezra ran a hand over the back of his neck and sighed heavily. The smell of wine wafted up her nose, reminding Aria that Ezra was feeling the effects of the alcohol too. Anything he said now could later be blamed on the liquid courage he'd just consumed "But…I never fully got over you. I compared Nicole to you daily. Hell, I even said your name during sex a few times."

Aria's eyes widened and giggle sat at the back of her throat. She wanted to add that she'd made that mistake once too - it had been with Matt and it had been messy – but now just didn't feel like the right time to butt in.

"I could never love Nicole the way I was supposed to because I was convinced…I _am_ convinced that _we_ were meant to be together," He moved his hand from his neck and through his hair. "We just…we just did it wrong the first time."

"Ezra, I…" Aria didn't know what to say.

She couldn't say that she agreed. But she couldn't say that she disagreed either. The senses of déjà vu she'd been experiencing over the past week, the electricity in their touches, the subtle desire to keep him around and not let him leave. Aria knew those were all inklings of lingering feelings. But just because they were there, just because his touch made her feel alive and his presence calmed her, didn't mean she needed to give him another shot. And even if she _wanted_ to try again, the stakes were much higher with a child involved.

Aria had let Ezra back into her life for a reason: to be Sophie's father. That's what he needed to be above anything else.

They were still trying to work out the logistics of that aspect. How were they going to tell Sophie? How were they going to tell their families? How were _they going to be a family?_ How would custody work? Would Ezra get Sophie on the weekends or would he just see her when he could? How much of a family did they want to be?

The answer to all of those questions had to be with Sophie's best interest at heart. They couldn't let love or a relationship cloud their vision. If they dated again, Sophie might get her hopes up. And if it ended tragically…again…then Sophie would be crushed and having both parents in her life would be harder than it currently was. Trying to make things work again was just not something they could do. No matter how badly either of them wanted to.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…" Ezra backtracked. "That was dumb and of course, I don't expect you to feel the same way. I guess, talking about the divorce, mixed with wine, mixed with the fact that I can't stop thinking about beautiful you still are and how you're such a great mother to our child…I should stop talking now."

Aria nodded, but didn't agree. She wanted him to tell her how he was feeling, to reassure her that she wasn't crazy for the things that had been bubbling up in the pit of her stomach since they reconnected. But she couldn't and she knew that.

"I think we should probably go to bed now, before either of us says something we might regret," Aria set her wine glass down on the bedside table, well aware that her sentence could lead Ezra to the conclusion that she reciprocated his feelings. Had she been looking at his face, she would've seen the relief, followed by confusion that washed over it.

"You're right," Ezra mumbled. "I'll go sleep on the couch."

He made a move to get up, but was stopped by Aria's hand on his wrist.

"You don't have to. You can sleep in here. I think the pillow wall will be enough of a barrier." Aria tried her best not to sound desperate for him to stay, but failed.

"Are you sure?" Ezra asked, but moved as if she'd already said yes, tucking his legs back beneath the sheets and preparing to lie down.

"Yes," Aria nodded as she avoided eye contact.

"Okay."

Without another word, the 2 settled down into the sheets, their backs facing each other. Aria reached over and flicked off the lamp light, leaving them in complete darkness. There was a tense silence floating between them, although both of them were aware of how loud the other's mind must be.

A million thoughts and feelings ran through their heads. What were they doing? How were they feeling? What would it feel like to call the other "mine" again? Was this okay? Who was going to tell them it wasn't? Should they part their guards back up? If they kissed, would it feel the same as it had 8 years ago? Was this really a smart idea? Would "accidentally" holding the other one while they slept cross the line? Was this in Sophie's best interest? Wouldn't she love it if her parents actually got back together and stayed together? How was it possible for so much hate to melt away so quickly? How was it possible to feel love for the other one again?

It didn't take long for either of their brains to burn out. Stress, confusion, and wine were a deadly combination that led to extreme exhaustion.

Within a matter of minutes, all the worry, all the hesitation, all the questions were squashed by sleep. Their bodies went limps and their faces relaxed. In that moment, everything seemed okay.

After a few more minutes passed, the pillow wall Aria had constructed between them had began to crumble. Slowly but surely, Ezra's arm was beginning to snake around Aria's waist and pull her closer. And in _that_ moment, everything seemed…perfect.

When Aria had suggested that she and Ezra watch 'The Lucky One' once Sophie was released from the hospital, _this_ wasn't what she'd had in mind. No. This was somehow better.

 **A/N: I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. I wasn't originally going to have things progress this much in this chapter, but I feel like I've kept y'all waiting long enough. No, they didn't kiss or anything, but they're definitely getting there.**

 **So I want to take a poll. I want to do like a month or two time jump in the present day within the next couple of present day chapters. How does everyone feel about that? Yay or nay? Of course, I'll fill you in on what happened during the missing months, but I want to do it to move things along a little faster. Let me know.**

 **As always, I ask that y'all review. Leave me your thoughts, opinions, and predictions. I'll update asap (within a week).**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	25. Chapter 25

_2007_

 **This chapter is rated M.**

Ezra's 17th birthday fell on a Thursday.

His party was set to be on Friday.

However, Aria made sure that Ezra didn't spend such a joyous day holed up in his room, playing some lame computer game. She wanted him to celebrate _properly_ tonight. And her gift to Ezra would allow him to do just that.

From the moment Aria had woken up that morning, her insides had been shaking. At breakfast, she hadn't been able to look her mother in the eye. At school, Aria stayed silent during lunch, her brain too busy thinking through every little detail of that coming evening to even begin to formulate words for an interesting conversation. After school at CVS, Aria probably looked like a paranoid freak with the amount of times she'd looked over her shoulder as she made her purchases. And at dinner with Ezra's family, Aria's stomach was twisted into so many different knots, she could hardly keep down her water. She wasn't sure it was physically possible for one person to be more nervous for something than she was in that moment.

But now, 2 hours later, Aria was proving that it in fact _was_ possible to feel more nervous than she had at dinner. It was _very_ possible, and it was her reality.

They'd told Ezra's mother that they'd be in his room studying for an upcoming math test. Had they said they were studying for an anatomy test, their tale wouldn't have been a complete lie. Though, neither of them were in anatomy, they sure as hell looked like they were studying it now.

Aria was shirtless, as was Ezra. Her bra had been thrown across the room, miraculously catching itself on Ezra's closet door handle. Her shirt was balled up on top of Ezra's on the floor, just inches away from Ezra's jeans. Her shorts were still on, but she knew they wouldn't be for much longer. Ezra had already unzipped them and was switching between tugging them down her thighs and hungrily kissing her neck.

Her hands were laced through his hair and her hips were rolling against his, a passive effort to allude that she wasn't as terrified as she actually was. She loved Ezra, and she knew she wasn't making a mistake by deciding to finally do this with him. She just didn't want anything to go wrong.

Her choice to give Ezra her virginity for his birthday hadn't been a secret. Well, it had been to Ezra, but all of them other important friends in Aria's life knew. She'd spilled her guts in the early hours of the morning while seated in Spencer's living room, surrounded by empty bottles of illegal liquid.

While her decision to tell the girls had been somewhat drunken, the overall decision to take this big step had not been. She'd made up her mind weeks ago, but had kept quiet, biting on her lip as if it were the questions she didn't want to let go of and ask aloud. But you know what they say – drunk words are sober thoughts. Every bit of excitement, and every bit of concern, had come out that night on the Hastings' rug. She was 1 of 2 virgins in the group, so she trusted her friends to provide her with adequate information and tips.

" _It doesn't always hurt,"_ Ali had said, surely speaking from her own experiences.

 _"You won't finish, but that's normal,"_ Spencer reassured.

 _"You should probably do it on a towel to avoid staining the sheets,"_ Hanna wrinkled her nose, then added, _"That's how my mom found out about me and Hardy's extra curricular activities."_

 _"Make sure you're warmed up, otherwise it could painful,"_ Spencer warned.

 _"Yeah, don't let him skimp on the foreplay,"_ Ali rolled her eyes.

 _"Make sure he wears a condom,"_ Hanna added. _"I'd buy a morning after pill just to be safe, too."_

 _"Don't freak out if you're like a day late for your next period. That doesn't automatically mean you're pregnant,"_ Ali scoffed, eyeing Spencer as if that had happened with her before.

 _"Try to relax. The tenser you are, the worse it will be,"_ Spencer offered a small smile to an overwhelmed and drunk Aria.

Those words ran through Aria's mind, bouncing off the walls of her skull so hard she was beginning to get a headache, followed by questions she should've asked, but hadn't.

 _It doesn't always hurt._ But what if it does? How bad will it be?

 _You won't finish, but that's normal._ Will Ezra be upset? Will he feel like he did something wrong?

 _Do it on a towel._ Is sex messier than when Ezra simply fingers her? What if they did stain the sheets? Would it be that obvious?

 _Make sure you're warmed up._ How can you tell when you're completely ready?

 _Buy a morning after pill._ So, does that mean the condom won't work? Oh my God, what if it's defective?

 _Don't freak out if you miss your period._ That's nearly impossibly. Doesn't a missed period mean baby in like…every language?

 _Try to relax._ How?

A part of Aria wished that this encounter hadn't been so planned out on her part. Sure, leading Ezra to his bedroom and sliding a condom out of her purse, followed by the flashing of her new lingerie, had been a great way to set the mood, it now left Aria feeling the pressure. She wished it would've been more spontaneous. More in the moment. One minute they were kissing, the next they were fucking. No time to think. Only time to do.

But that hadn't been how it'd gone, so Aria was left to face the fate she'd created. She watched Ezra move his lips rapidly along her skin, biting, licking, and cucking the most sensitive parts, and felt a pang of envy. He didn't seem nervous at all. He was totally in to the moment, oblivious to the fact that Aria was stuck in her thoughts.

It occurred to her that maybe because she was overthinking their situation, that maybe she should ask Ezra to stop. He'd listen to her…wouldn't he?

Licking her lips, Aria parted her lips, just wide enough for words to escape. However, instead of words passing through the opening, a long, high pitched moan pushed its way out, shocking both Aria and her lover.

Aria blinked, in a split second of confusion, before realizing what exactly had elicited such a sound. While she was lost in her head, Ezra had somehow managed to get both her shorts and her panties completely off. The sound had fallen from her lips when his fingers made contact with her swollen skin.

Butterflies swarmed near Aria's rib cage, while a fire burned in the pit of her stomach. Suddenly, she didn't want to stop. She _never_ wanted to stop.

She bucked her hips rather lazily against Ezra's fabric covered erection, feeling his stiff member rub against her stomach.

"Off, now," Aria growled, referring to Ezra's boxers.

Not wanting to disconnect his lips from her skin, Ezra grabbed one of Aria's hands and curled it around his waistband, silently instructing her to do what she wanted. After a few tugs and the wiggle or 2 from Ezra, the boxers joined the rest of the clothing on the floor, leaving the couple completely naked on top of his bed.

This wasn't the first time that they had been in this position, naked and on top of one another. But it was the first time that they both acknowledged that this would be going further than simply a heated make out session with small sexual favors to delay their true desires.

They were already sweaty. Aria didn't know why, but she wasn't disgusted either. That would be a pretty silly thing to be considering she was lying on her back with her legs open, revealing all of herself to a guy who equally as exposed. She could feel the arousal drip from her sex down to the towel beneath them, and with wide eyes, she watched Ezra's do the same. In hindsight, Aria would figure sex to be a pretty gross thing to partake in, but something she was grossed out by. Her body wouldn't let her be even if she tried.

With a gentle finger, Ezra pulled Aria back into the moment by stroking her heat. She writhed beneath him, aching for his touch, but knowing that this only meant they were getting closer to the main event. Her stomach twisted on itself and she tensed slightly, but Ezra didn't seem to notice. She tried to keep her face neutral, though it didn't matter. Ezra's attention wasn't on her face at that moment.

After just seconds of teasing, Ezra had slipped 2 fingers inside of her tight opening, causing Aria to let out a breathy sigh and strain her neck backwards.

Flickers of the very first time Ezra had made her feel this way rolled like a scratched DVD on the back of her eye lids. With each blink, Aria remembered something more. The hot, sticky feel of the car, the nervousness in Ezra's eyes, the face of the poor kid who walked up on them. She almost giggled at that thought, but fought the urge as to not ruin the mood.

Ezra had gotten much better at pleasuring her since then. He knew how her body ticked. He knew where to kiss her and how - where to touch her and how. It was a wonder what nearly a year of getting to know someone intimately could do.

However, Aria feared that tonight might be one giant step back in their intimate relationship. They'd mastered hand jobs, they'd mastered oral, but they hadn't even attempted sex. What was supposed to me an amazing, wonderful event could end up being a huge disappointment.

Once again, Aria knew she was overthinking things, but she couldn't help it. Tonight was Ezra's _birthday._ Doing this could either make or break the beginning of his 17th year. What was Aria thinking? Why did she decided to do this _today?_ There were 364 other days that would've worked just fine, but yet, she chose today. But it wasn't too late to put a stop to this.

Right as that thought processed as coherent in Aria's brain, Ezra began rubbing her clit. Immediately, her negative thoughts dissipated and her body flooded with desire.

Okay…maybe she could let this go on for a little bit longer.

"Keep…doing…oh," Aria tried her best to stay quiet, knowing that Wes could very well be just down the hall and hearing everything that was going on – not to mention Ezra's mother and step-father.

"I know what you like, baby," Ezra whispered lowly in her ear before taking her earlobe between his teeth and pulling down.

Aria's back arched at the motion while her nails dug into Ezra's back and her hips grinded down on his hand. She felt Ezra's lips curl into a smile against the skin of her neck as he worked to make his mark on her.

Aria closed her eyes, silently telling herself to enjoy the moment while it lasted, because it would all be over soon.

And she was right.

Ezra had fingered her. He'd gone down on her. He'd kissed her breast. He had gone the whole 9 yards, taking his time to listen to her soft, sweet moans, and yet, Aria still felt like it was all over within a matter of seconds. She'd had 2 orgasms already, and still she didn't feel anymore at ease.

Something small in the back of her mind whispered that she could stop. All she had to do was say the words and it would end.

But something bigger and louder in her mind screamed that it was now or never. If she backed out now, it would only be worse the next time.

She was ready.

She loved Ezra.

She was ready.

"Where's the condom?" Ezra breathed, leaning back onto his heels, giving Aria a full view of his body and more…desirable assets.

Propping herself up on her elbows, Aria nodded towards his nightstand, where she'd placed a single condom package before they'd even begun kissing. "Right there." She paused and bit her lip. "You know how to put one on, right?"

Ezra didn't say anything as he moved over her to grab the foil wrapper, but the way he looked at her when he settled back onto his heels told her that he really didn't.

"Do you want me to hel- "

"No," Ezra cut her off mid-sentence, embarrassed by her assumption. "I can do it…" The way he spoke implied that he had more to say on the subject, but he chose not to. Aria wanted to urge him on, but didn't. This was the first glimpse she was getting into Ezra's nervousness tonight. She didn't want to poke and prod him into backing out – not when she'd decided to stay for the long haul.

Her eyes darted back and forth between Ezra's face and penis as he struggled to roll the condom down his length. His hands were visibly shaking, even in the dim light from his bedside lamp, and a few curses escaped under his breath whenever the rubber would snap against his skin. The wait for him felt agonizing and seemed to take half an hour, when in reality, it only took several seconds. Aria briefly wondered if that's what the rest of that night would feel like.

For the millionth time that night, her negative thoughts were interrupted by Ezra's movement. He shifted so that he was perfectly in between her legs, before coaxing Aria's legs to wrap around his waist. When she did so, she felt the tip of his latex covered cock graze her entrance, sending a chill up her spine. They were really doing this.

Ezra lowered his torso so that he was just inches from her face and placed a quick kiss to the tip of her nose before asking, "Are you sure?"

Aria nodded without thinking, knowing that if she had paused, she might've said no. She was scared. Terrified. But she wanted this. It was like wanting to go sky diving your entire life, then finally getting to do it, but when you get to the edge of the plane and you're about to jump, suddenly you don't want to anymore. Everything that could go wrong starts flying through your head and you know that you can't quell your fears until you reach the ground – and there are only 2 ways to go about that. One, you can jump. Or two, you can sit back down and regret not jumping for the rest of your life. So you opted to jump, because you know if you don't, you'll always hate yourself for it.

"Tell me if I hurt you," Ezra grazed his lips over hers, but didn't make an attempt to plant a kiss on them.

"I will," Aria squeaked out, knowing that was a lie.

With that, Ezra nodded, slipping a hand between her legs and parting her lower lips just enough to properly gauge where to put himself. It took a few seconds of adjusting to get it right, but eventually he got there. Had Aria been less nervous, she would've laughed at his struggle, and teased him gently. But now was not the time for jokes.

Ezra gave Aria a final, affirming look, one full of love and concern, before pushing his hips forwards and sliding into her.

She winced. Ezra grimaced.

The sudden contact was a feeling like no other. If Aria had to describe it to anyone who had never had sex before, she'd say that it felt a lot like trying to shove a log through a brick wall. Not the easiest or the most comfortable thing in the world.

She could feel him stretching her walls to their max, making her inhale more than she could exhale, before her breathing stopped all together.

Her eyes slammed shut and her lip was drawn between her teeth. No pain, but intense pressure, like when the dentist numbs your mouth and tells you that while you won't feel pain, you'll feel pressure, right before he starts yanking out a tooth. Only this was less tolerable.

She let out a small whimper that didn't seem to catch Ezra's attention…not that she'd wanted it to. She didn't want him to stop. And she certainly didn't want him to pull out. That might make it worse.

"I think…I think that's as far as I can…go," Ezra breathed heavily, his voice laced with lust and pleasure. Just like earlier, Aria felt a pang of jealousy. He was having a totally different and better experience. She imagined that she felt great around his member.

Aria didn't say anything. She didn't even nod. She just kept her lip between her teeth and her eyes squeezed shut while Ezra began to pump in and out of her body.

Each stroke stretched Aria more, allowing Ezra to go deeper and causing Aria to fight harder to resist the urge to cry – not because it hurt, but because she wasn't enjoying herself at all.

Ali, Spencer, and Hanna had all said that the pain usually subsided to pleasure during the first time, but this pain, pressure rather, didn't feel like it would be going away anytime soon. How could it? Ezra's strokes were uneven. There was no rhythm. Their hips bumped together so hard that she was sure she'd have bruises tomorrow. She probably wouldn't be able to _walk_ tomorrow. And she was so uncomfortable that she wasn't doing anything to contribute to making their situation better. She was just lying there…like a dead body.

Ezra didn't seem to notice all of the faults. He was grunting every few strokes and had tangible pleasure written all over his face. He was loving this.

"This feels...oh," Ezra mumbled into the crook of her neck as he continued with his bumpy, uneven rhythm.

Again, Aria stayed silent. However, this time, she chose not to pout at his undeniable satisfaction. Instead, she chose to watch it unfold. Maybe his pleasure would distract her.

His eyes were closed. His mouth was drawn into an o-shape. As their bodies rocked together, Aria could make out the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. She watched as the slid down the side of his forehead, down to his cheeks, before dripping onto her skin.

She shuddered at the contact, feeling the sudden want to pull him closer to her. And so she did.

In their new position, Ezra kissed Aria's lips passionately. She could tell in his kiss how much he loved her and the new level of intimacy tonight was allowing them to achieve.

Their chests were flush against one another. Her nipples were being massaged by his hot skin, igniting the fire that had previously been put out by pressure once again in the pit of her stomach. Suddenly, it seemed that the longer they went, the better things became for Aria.

She was on the brink of pleasure, just seconds away from feelings its rippling effects in her system when…it ended.

Aria almost laughed.

4 minutes. That was all it had taken.

It was done. It was over. Aria was no longer a virgin and neither was Ezra.

 _That_ was the thing that everyone spoke so highly about.

Now it was done with.

It hadn't lived up to the hype. It wasn't fun, or pleasurable, or enjoyable for Aria. It was messy and a bit painful. It was awkward and disappointing.

But at the same time, she had just had _sex_ with Ezra. And that in itself was amazing. She had everything to be nervous about, but she didn't care. She'd just made love with the person who meant the most in her life. And she intended to do it again…and again, and again, and again – just so long as she didn't get pregnant…

 **A/N: So I want to start off this author's note by thanking you guys for your feedback, not only on the last chapter itself, but on the question I asked about doing a time jump. I got a few "nays", but for the most part I got "yays", so I'm going to go ahead and do the jump. If you voted "nay", don't freak out. The jump won't occur in the next chapter, but in the "26" chapter after that. I want a little more progress before I do a small jump. And by small jump, I mean** _ **small**_ **jump. I will probably only skip forward a few weeks; one month at the most. Thanks to the fabulous brain and aid of bettertoflee, I have settled on a way to make the jump smooth and (hopefully) almost seamless. My hope is that you guys don't feel cheated by the missing time. I promise, anything that happens will be explained and that nothing too big or important will happen during that time.**

 **This was kind of a weird chapter to write. Not only was it rated M, it was rated an awkward M. Most first times aren't glorious and magical, so I thought I'd paint a more realistic picture. I purposely cut the foreplay short to get on to the actual sex or two reasons: one I wanted to get to the "good" part, and two, I have limited time. College (and a boy…but mostly college) is taking up a ton of my time, so I needed to write this in a fairly timely manner.**

 **I hope y'all enjoyed. For those of you asking about the "Ezra rescues Aria" chapter, that is coming up. Please be patient. Also, please ignore any major typos. Like I said, I have limited time.**

 **I'll update within a week. Please review! And thank you so much for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	26. Chapter 26

_2016_

 **A/N: The small time jump has not occurred yet in this chapter.**

Aria was folding laundry in the living room when Ezra came through the front door on Thursday afternoon. She'd given him his own key to the place not one week ago, yet every time he used it, Aria seemed to forget and panic about who might be coming into her home – although it wasn't like a burglar would be nice enough to use a key.

She stopped mid-fold of one of Sophie's shirts to study the man who'd just come home. He was the same man as before, only now, he looked more exhausted, more fragile. Being around Nicole did that to him.

In the two weeks that he'd been officially temporarily residing at the Montgomery-Callahan apartment, Ezra had met with Nicole three times. The first time was per her request. They'd gone to lunch, or at least that's what Ezra had said. Aria wasn't exactly sure what kind of lunch took four hours, especially when it was with an ex. When he'd come back, Sophie had run into his arms to welcome him home. She'd taken quite a liking to the man she didn't know was her father, and by the way Ezra held her after his lunch-from-hell, it was clear he'd taken quite a liking to her too. Just like she'd been to Matt, Sophie was Ezra's source of comfort after a long day.

The second time had been by complete accident. Ezra volunteered to make a quick trip to the grocery store for some last minute dinner items. The trip that was supposed to take 15 minutes wound up taking 45. He ran into Nicole in the parking lot and according to him, she gave him an earful. About what, Aria didn't know and Ezra wouldn't say.

The third time was today. They'd had a meeting with their lawyers at 1. Ezra had left the apartment about 30 minutes prior to the meeting looking like he was about to vomit. Now that he was back, he appeared as if that was all he'd done for the past couple of hours. Aria wanted to reach out and pull him into a gentle embrace, but she wasn't sure if that would be appropriate.

Two weeks ago, back at the hospital, a hug would've been friendly and welcomed. Now, it would be an embrace filled with sexual tension and want. Lately, that's how everything seemed to be between them, even direct eye contact. But how could things not be? Aria was waking up wrapped in Ezra's arms every morning. They were staying up late to watch movies and helping each other make midnight snack. They were falling back into old habits faster than they ever thought possible. They desperately needed to discuss it, but now was not the time. Ezra's head was far from his body. He didn't need to be reminded of a past situation that was about to become current, while he dealt with a current situation that was about to become his past. One catastrophe at a time.

"The next woman I marry has to be in it for the long haul. I am never going through all of this shit again," Ezra spoke as he ran his hand across the back of his neck and plopped down on the chair next to a stack of Aria's underwear. She blushed and hoped he wouldn't notice.

"How close is the divorce to being finalized?" Aria questioned nonchalantly as she plucked another one of Sophie's shirts from the pile and began folding it in half. She prayed that her voice didn't convey her purpose for asking the question.

There was no denying that she had feelings for Ezra again. Every time they touched, she felt a wave of electricity overcome her body. Every time he laughed, she wanted to hear more. And every time she went to bed in his arms, she felt safe.

But just because there was denying it, didn't mean she wanted to admit it. Technically, Ezra wasn't on the market at the moment. Legally, he was still married. And Aria knew she'd always had a thing for forbidden or secret romances. That's part of the reason they'd kept their relationship on the down low the first time. There was something so incredibly sexy about sneaking around. It turned her on. So before Aria was willing to admit what her heart was screaming so loudly to her brain, she wanted to rule out every possibility for false infatuation. Ezra needed to be available before she could come to a solid conclusion. Aria just needed to know how much longer she was going to have to wait.

"Not close enough," Ezra huffed, leaning back so that he was almost lying down flat.

Aria simply nodded, afraid that if she spoke, her voice might betray her. She was a bit disappointed, but it wasn't like she was expecting him to say it would be finalized tomorrow.

"She's moving. Did I tell you that?" Ezra's tone was indifferent, although his facial expression told Aria that he felt otherwise. He almost looked disgusted.

"No," Aria shook her head. "Is she moving with that guy?"

Aria referred to Nicole's new lover as "that guy" only because Ezra had yet to use his real name. A small part of Aria wondered if he even knew the man's name. It was a silly thought. What man wouldn't know the name of the man who stole his wife? But then again, what man would bother to learn the name of the man who stole his wife? Until recently, Aria couldn't recall Nicole's name without someone reminding her. Jealousy was a powerful thing.

Ezra slowly nodded his head, "Mhmm. They're moving to Kansas City. Apparently his job is taking them there."

"She told you that?" Aria raised an eyebrow. It wasn't that she didn't believe Nicole. Why would anyone lie about moving to _Kansas City?_ Not that there was anything wrong with it, it just wasn't Los Angeles or Boston or anywhere a little more noteworthy than some city in the Midwest. She just didn't think that Ezra and Nicole were on good enough terms to have a conversation so civil that it would lead to her plans for the future.

"My lawyer did," Ezra shrugged, shaking his head. "Awhile ago actually. She and I talked about it at lunch last week. It was brought up again today in the meeting. We had to reschedule our next meeting because she will be there house hunting."

Aria's eyes widened, "They're already looking at houses? When do they plan on moving in?"

"A month or so if they can."

"That was fast," Aria reached across to pick up the first pair of panties in the pile next to Ezra. He eyed them, but said nothing on the matter.

"Nicole is ready to leave. She says the sooner the better, and based on the circumstances, I couldn't agree more," Ezra shifted his position to a more upright one.

"What do you mean?" Aria furrowed her brow. The statement in itself was harmless, but the inflection of Ezra's voice made her ears perk up. Whatever was going on with this move was a little more serious than a job transfer.

"Just the divorce and everything," Ezra said after a moment of hesitation. "They want a clean start."

His answer was rushed. Whatever was really going on, Ezra didn't want to talk about it, so he made up a fake, easy solution to Aria's question. She knew this, but she didn't press him. Divorce had always been a sensitive topic for Ezra. It was even more so now that it was his own. She'd leave him alone for the time being. If he wanted to elaborate on the real reason for Nicole and "that guy's" move, he would.

"So, how will you guys meet if she moves to another state?" Aria asked, already knowing the answer.

"Skype is a wonderful thing, Aria." He sounded annoyed. That was her cue to change the subject completely.

"Sophie's at a friend's house. She's spending the night." That was a safe topic.

"Which friend?" Ezra picked at a loose string on his shirt, asking the question as if he knew all of Sophie's friends already.

"Naomi," Aria grabbed another pair of panties. "You haven't met her."

"Who were the little girls that were over here a couple of days ago?" Ezra squinted his eyes and cocked his head, seemingly believing that those motions would help him remember.

"Katie and Lauren," Aria smiled fondly at the memory of the playdate. "Katie is the one with the blonde hair. Lauren had the glasses."

"That's right," Ezra gasped at his recollection. "Those were the girls who'd had too much sugar for lunch."

Aria giggled, "They weren't hyper, Ezra. They're 8. That's how 8-year-olds are."

"Aria, their screams are still echoing off of Sophie's bedroom walls," Ezra tried to speak in all seriousness, but cracked a smile at his extreme exaggeration. He knew that his comment made him sound all too knew to this parenting thing, but that's exactly what he was: new. He was still learning everything there was to learn about being a parent. Hell, Aria was still learning. However, Aria had at least mastered handling the horrifying event that was a _playdate_.

Maybe it was because Aria had dealt with the shrill cries of her infant in the middle of the night all those years ago. Maybe it was the fact that Aria had listened as Sophie screamed and slapped and whined as she threw her Terrible Three's tantrum. Maybe it was just that Aria knew kids were loud. Whatever the reason was, Aria had grown accustomed to constant high pitched noise emitting from her daughter's bedroom – not that it happened often, but it _did_ happen. Ezra had not.

The day that Sophie had her friends over, they had shut themselves in her room to play pop star. Ezra _thought_ that meant he'd have a quiet space to start brainstorming lesson plans for the upcoming school year. Aria knew that wouldn't be happening, but she didn't forewarn him.

Instead, she let him join her in the kitchen after about 30 minutes of scream-singing from the three little girls behind Sophie's door. He'd poured himself a glass of water, popped an aspirin, and took a seat at the table, his head immediately finding a place in his hands. He didn't say anything though, not to Sophie, not to Aria. He just sat in silence and listened to his daughter have fun with her friends while his brain swelled in his skull.

He turned in early that night, as if Sophie's fun had worn _him_ out, leaving Aria and Sophie to have some quality mother-daughter time, something that they, surprisingly, hadn't had in awhile. They watched "Inside Out" together, but only got about halfway through before Sophie interrupted Aria with a question that had been haunting her mind ever since. _"Is Ezra going to be my new dad?"_

The answer wasn't yes. The answer was that he'd always been her dad. But she wasn't about to tell Sophie that, nor was she about to tell Ezra about the one-sided exchange. If she did, he'd do what he always did when the subject was brought up: urge Aria to tell Sophie the truth. She knew that she had to do it eventually, but eventually didn't have to mean soon.

"I keep forgetting that there's this whole curtain you've yet to peek behind when it comes to parenthood," Aria clucked her tongue, shaking the thoughts from her head and focusing on their current conversation.

"What curtain?" Ezra raised an eyebrow, his tone weary.

"The curtain that hides the shit storm that comes with being a parent," Aria held back her giggles to seem serious. She wanted to scare him a little. It would be fun to watch him piss himself.

"And screaming children is not a part of that shit storm?" Ezra laughed, though it was fake.

Aria shook her head, "Oh no. There are things that parents do and put up with that are much worse than the screaming you heard the other day."

That was true. At 18, Aria pictured parenthood to be so different than it actually was. She imagined her sweet baby girl staring up at her with her big eyes and cooing for a better part of the day. Babies only cried when they were hungry or tired, right? Wrong.

Parenting wasn't as glamourous as TV made it seem. Sophie was constantly pooping, or crying, or hungry, or projectile vomiting, or a mix of all four. The amount of times that Aria caught some type of bodily fluid…or solid…coming out of Sophie in her hand was more than she wanted to freely admit. It was only in the rare moments of peace that Aria could look at her child and remember why she put up with all of that.

She thought things would be easier as Sophie got older…they weren't. Each year brought on a new set of problems: potty training, tantrums, picking up on words like "fuck" and then saying them aloud in a mall for everyone to hear.

The chaos _did_ slow down as Sophie reached schooling age, but there were still moments that Aria wanted to pull her hair out. Recently, Sophie had picked up on her mother's attitude. She'd begun rolling her eyes and scoffing when she didn't agree with Aria. She'd lied about completing homework assignments just so that she could go play with her friends. And just the other day, Aria swore she heard Sophie talking about a boy she liked to one of her friends. Boys were a big _hell no_ from Aria, and she assumed they were an even bigger _hell no_ from Ezra.

"Can't wait to find out what they are," Ezra rolled his eyes sarcastically. Aria would've been concerned, but the goofy grin that sat on his lips as he did so, calmed her. He wouldn't be scared away by the ugly parts of parenthood. "Care to name a few so I'm prepared?"

"Nothing prepares you for the rush to volunteer to catch your child's throw up so that it doesn't get all over her favorite teddy bear." Aria giggled as she watched Ezra's expression morph into one of horror.

He opened his mouth to say something, but found himself at a loss. There was no real appropriate response to Aria's comment, so when the gap between their words became too long, Aria decided to fill in the space herself.

"You've had it relatively easy so far, but let me warn you, being a parent is extremely unsexy."

Aria leaned over to grab another pair of her underwear, making a happy mental note that she was almost finished folding for the day. However, as she began retracting her arm, Ezra clamped a hand down over her wrist, holding her in place. She looked up at him in confusion, but began laughing when she saw him eyeing her panties with a devious smirk on his face. If she knew him at all, she knew he was about to make a witty comment regarding the fabric in her hand and the subject they were just discussing.

"I beg to differ," He shook his head, using his free hand to pull the lace out of Aria's hand and hold it up to the light. "You're a parent, and _these_ look pretty sexy."

"Stop," Aria blushed, snatching the panties from his grip and pulling them into her lap. "These may _look_ like underwear I'd wear when I want to get laid, but in reality, I just wear them to remind myself that I'm not old and worn out while going about my motherly duties. They're better than granny panties," She winked as if she were kidding, but she weren't.

Being a mother took a lot out of her, and sometimes she caught herself forgetting that she was only 26. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror sporting a pair of what she called her "fuck me" panties, made her feel a little better about constantly doing laundry, making food, cleaning the house, taking Sophie to the doctor, and so on and so forth. Plus, wearing them was like wearing a sex security blanket. If she had a date, but was so busy beforehand that she barely had time to change shirts, she would at least be prepared if the two of them wound up in bed.

"Aria, you _aren't_ old," Ezra shot her a sympathetic glance, as if to say " _I'm sorry that I don't feel that way too."_ Aria offered him a small smile, but rolled her eyes. "Really. You're 26, you just don't get to act like it enough. You've always got to be mature for Soph. You can't really do anything reckless anymore."

Aria nodded, but said nothing so that he could continue.

"Sophie's out tonight, right?" Ezra asked after a brief pause in his own dialogue.

Once again, Aria nodded, though, more cautiously this time.

"How about you and I go out and do something that 26-year-olds do? We can go to a club- "

"Ezra, it's Thursday – "

"Quiet, mother," Ezra teased. "If you don't want to do that, we can just have a night on the town. Maybe see a movie, go bust teenagers hooking up at the Rosewood Lookout…" Aria chuckled. "What do you say? We both need a de-stresser. We're alone tonight. It'll be perfect."

"It's not a date, right?"

The words came out before Aria could tell herself that saying them would be a bad idea. Of course it wasn't a date. She wanted it to be a date. But now Ezra thought that she _didn't_ want it to be a date. She wanted him to think she didn't want it to be a date. However, she hadn't meant for her desire to pretend that she didn't want it to be a date be so obvious that Ezra _actually_ thought that she didn't want it to be a date. In summary, she fucked up.

"Uh…" Ezra hesitated. His eyes betrayed his true intentions as they darted back and forth, searching for a sufficient answer. Aria could call him out on it, but she didn't want to be rude. "No. Not a date. Just two people hanging out."

"Okay…" Aria trailed of, biting her lip. "Then I guess it's _not_ a date. I'll be ready by 8."

"Sounds wonderful."

Line Break

They had gone to see a movie at the drive-in. It had been a rom-com, but that was about all Aria could remember about it as they pulled away. She'd been too distracted by the blatant sexual tension that reared its head whenever the two main characters would kiss on screen. They'd chosen a drive-in to avoid being seen by any unwanted parties, thinking that was the best option. But the more the characters kissed and the more Aria felt strained to keep her eyes on the screen, while Ezra's were clearly on her, the more she wished they'd chosen a real theater with seats and an escape route.

Neither of them mentioned it though. Nor did they mention that first memory that popped into their heads upon pulling into the dirt lot: their first time getting each other off. It had been messy and embarrassing, something they wouldn't bring up even if it wouldn't cause an increase in the tension that was already bursting at the seams. Instead, they kept quiet, watched the movie, and then drove away towards a late night diner for food and distraction.

They busied themselves with choosing a menu item and intently stirring their coffees for a solid 10 minutes before Ezra finally broke the silence with the last question Aria thought she would be asked.

"Why haven't you remarried?"

Aria stopped mid-stir and raised an eyebrow. She could be honest. She could tell him that she was rushed into her first marriage and wanted to make sure that her next one was brought about in a more natural and organic way. She could say that a part of her heart still belonged to Matt…and still belonged to _him_. She could tell him that she just hadn't found the right one yet. It was all true, yet it all felt like too much to say. She wasn't in the mood for a heart to heart.

"Well, you saw how my last date ended," She joked, although it wasn't a joking matter.

Ezra frowned, "I…I still can't believe they let him out of custody."

The comment was more directed at the universe than at Aria, but she decided to respond based off of his words. The further she could push the original topic out of his mind, the better. "They let Liam off and he did a lot more to me."

Saying that name out loud made Aria's tongue feel numb. Usually, when she referred to her Halloween attacker of 8 years ago, she called him just that: her attacker. Her friends called him other names like scumbag or asshole, but like her, they refused to use his name.

"His family had money," Ezra rolled his eyes. "That doesn't make it right, but that's the reason he's not sitting in a cell right now."

"I know," Aria nodded, a chill running down her spin at the same time. A lot of men were getting the same treatment because _they had money._ She didn't know Noel's circumstance, but she wouldn't be surprised if it were the same.

"Do you…do you think that if…if what happened on Halloween 8 years ago hadn't…that…"

"We would still be together?" Aria finished Ezra's sentence for him when it appeared that he was struggling to do so himself.

It wasn't so much that Aria knew Ezra so well that she could finish his sentenced, but rather the fact that she had wondered that same thing many times before. Had Halloween not happened, they wouldn't have broken up shortly afterward. That means that Aria wouldn't have flirted with Matt, and she certainly wouldn't have slept with him. Ezra would've never had to find out and he wouldn't have kept Aria at bay. Then, when Aria got pregnant, Ezra would've had no doubt that the baby was his. They wouldn't have fought and he wouldn't have walked away. There was no telling if they'd still be together now, but at least things wouldn't have fallen apart as quickly as they had.

Ezra nodded to affirm her ending to his sentence.

She sighed, "I don't know. If our fallout hadn't happened, it's possible something would've. I like to think that everything happens for a reason. For some reason we were meant to move on with different people."

"What do you think that reason is?" Ezra cocked an eyebrow, eyeing the waitress as she began walking towards their table with the food they'd ordered.

"We needed to grow up and couldn't do that together," Aria reasoned.

"And what do you think the reason that we're back in each other's lives is?"

"So that Sophie could have a father – "

The waitress was now at their table, her presence cutting Aria off in the worst place possible. That wasn't the only reason Aria could think of, but it sure did sound like it.

She watched Ezra's shoulders slump. He'd wanted a more…romantic answer. He wanted her to say that maybe they were given a second chance. And truth be told, had the waitress been a few seconds later, she would've. But maybe it was a good thing she didn't. Keeping him in the dark would spare his feelings should Aria change her mind once the divorce was finalized. In the long run, it was better to say nothing and disappoint him than to say something and get his hopes up.

The conversation ended there. It was back to verbal silence as they ate their food, although not _complete_ silence. The glances they exchanged every so often spoke louder than anything they could've said. Fear, sympathy, desire, wonder. They'd both unintentionally fallen for each other again, and they were both equally as conflicted about it.

The fallout lingered in the back of their minds, but so did Aria's words. _Everything happens for a reason._ There was a reason that Ezra was at that bar that night Noel tried to assault Aria. He was _supposed_ to save her. In a weird way, it was like the universe was giving them a nudge to begin talking again. It was using the very thing that began tearing them apart 8 years ago to put them back together now. There was some kind of plan being set in motion by a force beyond them. And they both knew that that plan was meant to be way more than just provide a father for Sophie.

Was it wrong to skeptical of such an obvious force of nature? Was it wrong to believe there may not be a happy ever after waiting for them if they took hold of this opportunity? Was it wrong to believe that there was?

Aria could feel this gravitational pull in Ezra's direction, but she felt compelled to play a game of tug-of-war. She couldn't let herself get hurt again. Surely Ezra was thinking the same thing…if he was thinking clearly at all. The man was going through a divorce at the moment. There's no way he was processing things correctly. What if he was just looking for an outlet and Aria was familiar?

But what if he wasn't?

"Aria – "

"I'm going to the bathroom," Aria spoke at the same random time that Ezra did, only she didn't both to stop her sentence like he had.

"Um, okay," Ezra sighed, his eyes darting back and forth between their nearly empty plates. "I'll pay and meet you up front."

"Thanks," Aria said, already scooted half way out of their booth.

As she walked away, she could feel Ezra's eyes on her – not in a sexual way, but in a longing way. Her heart contracted in her chest, but she kept walking as if she felt nothing. Looking back would only confirm her feelings.

God, she felt like she was walking away from a breakup, not just going to the toilet. Though, public bathrooms and crying did have the same nauseating effect…

Once she had done her business, she met Ezra up front like he'd promised. They walked out of the diner side by side, holding their own hands awkwardly away from the others'.

The inside of the car was dark. The only thing illuminating their faces was the flickering light of the diner in front of them. Aria kept expecting to be flooded with light once Ezra turned the ignition. The radio and the dashboard would light up and she would be able to make out her feet in the floorboard. But seconds passed and Ezra just _sat_ there, staring straight ahead and making no move to turn the car on.

Aria parted her lips to ask if he was alright, but was silenced by a small but powerful phrase coming from Ezra's mouth.

"Fuck it."

Before Aria could process what was happening…he was kissing her.

 **A/N: Please don't hate me for the brevity of the very last sentence. I promise that you will get to see Aria's reaction in the next 26 chapter (yes, that's the time jump chapter, but you will get to find out in full how she reacted). But for now, speculate! Let me know how YOU think she will react in the reviews.**

 **I know it was a little over a week since my last update and I apologize. Weeks 4 and 5 of college are test weeks, so I've been busy studying. In fact, once I upload this, it's back to the grind stone because I have a test tomorrow and ya girl is still clueless (wish me luck). Or don't wish me luck and just leave me a bunch of reviews. Either way, I'll be happy. (But I'll be happier with more reviews, haha)**

 **Thanks for much for reading! I hope y'all enjoyed. Update in a week or so!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	27. Chapter 27

_2007_

 _(Part 1)_

Alison DiLaurentis was a horrible person. She was manipulative and a liar. She knew how to rip a person off cloud 9 with the flick of her tongue. She had everyone cowering in her presence, and she knew it. Everyone was counting down the days until they could leave Rosewood and Alison behind and head off for a fresh start in college…even her best friends. But it wasn't like they would ever tell her that, because despite all of her horrible qualities, there were certainly perks to being in her inner circle.

Two words: the parties.

The booze, the weed, the environment – Alison provided it all. Well, her older brother, _Jason,_ provided it all. He was just kind enough to let Ali and her friends in on the fun.

Partying with the DiLaurentis was like attending a frat party at the biggest party school in the nation. People from different schools showed up without an invite, the air reeked of BO, marijuana, and alcohol, and everyone was always on edge about the cops showing up. They were the perfect combination of a buzz and an adrenaline rush. Although, ever since Jason went off to college, those experiences were few and far between. They still attended parties on a regular basis, but they had to endure listening to Ali bitch about them all being "high school parties," providing a sufficient buzz kill for the whole group.

But when Jason announced that he'd be home the weekend before Halloween per their parents' request to "watch Ali" while they were out of town, the siblings jumped at the opportunity to throw a killer party together for old times sake. The other girls were immediately on board, and for a few good weeks, they were able to put aside their mutual dislike of their best friend in order to plan what was one of the last blow-out bash before they all went to college next fall.

It was a costume party. Ali took on the role of Regina George from the Halloween scene in _Mean Girls,_ and as if she had the power that Regina had in the movie, she decided to assign costumes to each of the other girls. According to her, they all had to look hot. They all had to look presentable. She acted like leaving the choice to them would result in humiliation for her as a person and a ring leader. The girls tried to protest, but their resistance was futile. By the end of the discussion, Spencer had been dubbed the sexy version of the Red Queen from _Alice in Wonderland._ Hanna was to be a sexy inmate because apparently she looked good in orange. Emily had to be Pocahontas. What was new there? And despite never playing a sport in her life, Aria was told to be a sexy referee. She would've preferred something a little darker like a witch or a disgruntled nurse, but at least this gave her a chance to push her idea of a couple's costume onto Ezra. She could go as a ref, he could be some kind of athlete…and maybe she'd let him score with no penalty later that night.

Unlike the other girls, Aria's costume hadn't taken much time, effort, or money to find. It was simply a pair of black, high waisted shorts, a black and white vertical striped crop top, a whistle to go around her neck, white knee high socks with a black stripe near the top, and black converse. Cheap, easy, and left plenty of time to focus on her hair and makeup for the night. So despite the fact that Ali was basically wearing lingerie and rabbit ears, eyes tended to drift towards Aria as they descended down the stairs into the party about 30 minutes after it started. She knew she looked good, and so did everyone else.

However, the only person Aria actually cared about looking hot for was Ezra – although she was pretty sure she could wear only a paper bag and he'd still be impressed. He was in love. Love blinds people.

He'd been waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in a hockey uniform, and hadn't left her side for most of the night. Currently, they were sitting on Ali's back porch watching Hardy and Spencer play a game of beer pong against Jason and one of his college buddies. A thick haze sat over them due to the joint being passed around the outer perimeter of the wooden deck. Both Aria and Ezra had taken a couple of hits as well as finished off their solo cups of some kid's Dos XX. Those had been their 6th drinks of the night. They were a little high and a lot of drunk. They were feeling good.

Aria stood up from her place just as Spencer sunk another ping pong ball into Jason's beer. The crowd around her let out a rowdy cheer, but Aria kept quiet. Her reeling brain was in the process of formulating words to say to Ezra. She was going to get another drink, but that was a task that was only easy to communicate when she was sober.

Eventually she gave up trying and just said, "Drink," before stumbling back into the house.

The inside of the house was teeming with bodies and kegs. It felt humid, and instantly, Aria wanted to throw up all that she'd consumed. In her state of being, she'd forgotten exactly why she and many others had moved the party outside. Her brush with claustrophobia upon entering the house reminded her of that reason.

The air was stuffy. What sober Aria had calculated to be about 350 to 400 people moved about frantically either dancing, dry humping, or trying to find a good place to pass out and/or vomit. A string of Ghost Faces and Marilyn Monroe's blocked what would otherwise be clear path from the back door to the bar in the kitchen. A few of them moved out of the way once they saw Aria struggling to walk in the straight line in their direction, but most remained oblivious to her. They were too focused on the music to pay much attention to anything else.

About halfway through her journey, Aria felt a rough hand wrap around her upper arm and yank her to the side, away from the crowd. She stumbled a little, despite the fact that the action of someone else had made her sober half way up. No one had ever been that hands on and physically rough with her before. She didn't know three-quarters of the people here. A stranger, or worse, a horny frat boy with no boundaries could've gotten in under the radar. As absurd as the thought seemed, whoever grabbed her could've not let go. He could want to hurt her.

Her racing heart beat instantly slowed when her eyes met those of Liam Greene's, a classmate since the 3rd grade. She was kind of surprised to see someone like him at a party like this, but feeling surprised was a lot better than feeling scared for her safety.

"Liam?" Aria's tongue felt heavy in her mouth. She'd sobered up, but not nearly enough. "What are…what are you doing here?" Her speech was slow.

"Uh, same as you?" Liam laughed lightly. His speech and quick reaction time told Aria that he hadn't been drinking. Maybe he'd been invited as someone's designated driver. That was the only thing that made sense.

"You're…partying?" Aria sounded as if she were doped up on laughing gas. "Are you sure you're not lost?"

Once again, Liam laughed, but Aria felt bad. She wouldn't have said something that so obviously reflected her thoughts in a sober state. But since she had, maybe he would provide her with a reasonable answer that even she could make sense of right now.

"I'm…dancing," Liam swayed to emphasize his words. "I'm not drinking or smoking though. I'm Matt Callahan and Michael Shay's DD."

"I knew it," Aria whispered, but then furrowed her brow. "Matt's here?" Her s's were slurred, making the word 'here' sound like 'seer'.

"Yeah," Liam craned his neck and looked around as if just the mention of Matt's name would allow him to be seen amongst the mass of people. "He's somewhere around here. I know he wanted to see you, so I'm sure you'll run into him later."

"He wanted to see me?" Aria tried to raise an eyebrow, but failed, leaving her face to just twitch instead.

"Uh huh," Liam nodded slowly. "Don't tell anyone, but he has a huge thing for you."

Aria's eyes widened. That wasn't exactly news, she just didn't know how to react. There had been rumors floating around of Matt's crush on Aria since the beginning of their junior year. Having Ezra, Aria never paid much attention to them, but that didn't mean she didn't catch Matt staring at her in the classes they had together, or the way the inflection of his voice would change when he spoke to her and her alone. Had she been single, she would've gone for him. He was cute, smart, and ambitious. But she had Ezra. She didn't need anyone else.

"I…I'm dating someone, Liam," Aria shook her head so rapidly that her brain began to hurt in her skull.

"Is it that Ezra guy?" Liam tucked his hands into the pockets of his bomber jacket. For the first time in their encounter, Aria realized that he was dressed as a pilot.

Aria hesitated. The small sober part of her told her to deny the accusation. The drunk part said 'fuck it'. She decided to meet them in the middle. "Shhhhhhh," She brought a lazy finger up to her lips as she shushed him. "Don't tell anyone."

Liam's shoulders shook with exaggerated laughter. For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something along the lines of "everyone already knows," but he didn't. Instead, he just licked his lips and cocked his head to the side, "Your secret is safe with me. Now, c'mon. I pulled you over here because it's a clearer path to the bar. That's where you were headed, right?"

Aria offered him a soft smile, "Yes. Thank you."

About 3 minutes later, Aria was back outside sitting on the porch swing with Ezra on one side of her and Liam on the other. She'd invited him out, hooking him with the promise of a cooler, more enjoyable environment, and so far, he'd found that to be proven true.

The game of beer pong had been won and thrown away. Now, everyone was sitting in a circle, engaged in an intense game of truth or dare. The rules were simple. For every truth you refused to tell or dare you refused to complete, you drank whatever was in your cup for 30 seconds. If you ran out of drink, you took shots. After being dared to flash her boobs and asked to reveal her dirtiest fantasy, Aria was already down to half a solo cup of rum and Coke. Ezra had taken a shot after being dared to kiss Spencer. Everyone had seen that as a diss, but Spencer understood even in her drunken state.

Liam wasn't playing. He couldn't drink, therefore the game was no fun. Instead, he served as a moderator and helped those on the brink of vomiting to a safe area. It wasn't the most glamorous job, but he was doing everyone a favor.

"Okay, Aria," Jason said with the lazy point of his finger. "Your turn again. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Aria let her head loll forward as she spoke as if she had no control over its movements.

"If you could sleep with any guy sitting here," Jason made a circular motion with his hand. "and you can't say Ezra because we all already know you guys fuck on the regular," The crowd, including Aria and Ezra themselves, laughed. "who would it be?"

Aria hesitated. Her first pick would be Jason himself. He was attractive and she'd always been drawn to his mysterious, brooding ways. But she couldn't say that. Ali was sitting not three people over from her, and though she'd likely forget this moment with all the alcohol she'd consumed, _someone_ would remember – and that _someone_ would probably be the guy sitting next to her who hadn't had anything to drink all night.

Liam would be her second pick. Had Matt Callahan been playing the game, Liam would've been her third option. But he wasn't, so Liam became the honorary second pick. He was cute enough and rumor had it that he was good in bed. If Ezra dumped her tomorrow, Matt decided he didn't want to date her, and Jason saw dating Aria to be too weird, Liam could be the next guy she slept with and she wouldn't mind. However, saying any of this would certainly lead to embarrassment come Monday morning.

It might also lead to a very angry boyfriend. Ezra had refused to kiss Spencer, though it would have meant nothing. He respected Aria even when drunk. He probably didn't even think about sleeping with other people like she was currently doing. He was loyal, even with his thoughts. She couldn't say anything.

On the other hand, she really didn't want to take another 30 second drink. She felt close to blacking out as it was.

"We're waiting," Ali groaned.

Before she could give it any more thought, Aria was pressing the solo cup to her lips and throwing back the remaining liquid. It was gone within 25 seconds, but she kept the cup between her teeth for an extra 5 to avoid taking a shot. When she brought it back down, she was seeing double.

"Fuck," She brought a hand up to her forehead and let her elbows rest on her knees.

Had Ezra's reaction times been quicker, he would have been soothing her before she even finished the single word she uttered. But because they were slower than ever, it was Liam who came to her aid first.

She felt his rough hand on her back, fingers just barely grazing the elastic of her crop top and pushing it up slightly. She brushed it off as an accident as she tried to listen to his questions, which sounded distant and lowly.

"Are you alright? Do you need anything? Are you going to throw up?"

In truth, the answers were no, some water, and most definitely. But the only answers Aria's brain could formulate in the moment were long winded and, honestly, very whiny sounding. She wasn't a lightweight, but she _was_ one of the only ones left playing the game who was on the verge of passing out. She should've stopped 3 drinks ago. Damn, peer pressure.

Turning in now was the right thing to do. She could start drinking some water, start sobering up so she wouldn't wake up with a pounding headache in the morning. The logical side of her urged her to take that route. But the stronger, more reckless side encouraged her to keep going. If she passed out, Ezra would take care of her and she'd have an excuse not to go home in first thing in the morning.

The reckless side won.

"Can you get me another drink?" Aria thrust her solo cup in Liam's general direction.

He hesitated, but took it after a moment, "Are you sure?"

"Coors, please," Aria demanded, implying that her answer to his question was a yes.

Liam nodded and left.

A few minutes later, Aria was drinking again.

A game of drunken charades took the place of truth or dare once the majority of players got bored. It was being played with great enthusiasm by all except one.

There was a saying: beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Aria had thought that meant that her beer would settle her stomach. She was wrong.

She was past the point of feeling sick. She was disoriented. There was multiples of everything. She couldn't control her movements much. She had a hard time remembering where she was or what was going on. Aria had been extremely drunk before, but this time, everything just felt…off.

She found herself slumped over onto Ezra's shoulder, his hand gently stroking her arm for comfort. He didn't seem to notice anything being wrong aside from the obvious. She was drunk. She wasn't feeling well, but she wasn't claiming that she was about to vomit, so everything must be fine.

It wasn't until it was Aria's turn to act something out that her friends noticed she was past the point of needing a simple glass of water and a cooling off period. When she stood up, her body gave way to gravity and she feel hard onto the deck. She whimpered, but made no move to get up. Immediately, Ezra and Liam were at her side, pulling her back onto her feet.

Her instinct upon being upright was to lean into Ezra, but Liam pulled her closer towards him. Her head hit his shoulder before resting on it as his arms snaked their way around her waist, seemingly to keep her standing up.

"I'm going to take her to lie down," Liam announced, giving Ezra as reassuring look that earned him a lazy smile.

"Make sure you put her on her side so she doesn't choke on her own throw up," One of the girls whose name escaped Aria at the time called out.

"Put her in the guest bedroom," Ali slurred.

"Got it," Liam nodded. "Aria, can you walk?" His breath was hot in her ear, as if he'd been whispering to her and her alone. Maybe he had been. She didn't know.

"Mmm," Aria moaned while letting her head sway from side to side. That was a no.

Taking the hint, Liam hooked one arm under her legs and the other around her back and picked her up bridle style. Her body went completely limp in his arms, and though nobody saw it, a small, sly smile twitched onto Liam's lips as he walked back into the house, telling everyone all they needed to know about the events to follow.

The guest bedroom was upstairs, far away from both Ali and Jason's bedroom. It was secluded enough that none of the other party-goers had tried to use it for their own personal needs. The bed was still made, the curtains were still drawn, and the lights were still low. All of that was like a guarantee that Aria would not be bothered, nor sought after, in the back room. And with the music and loud roar of the crowd on the floor below, it was doubtful that anyone would hear her retching…or crying.

With the gentlest of touched, Liam laid Aria down on her side on top of the bed. He placed the arm facing the ceiling across her body to keep her from rolling onto her back, and her knees in a bent position. Had anyone walked in right then, Aria would've appeared to be in good hands.

It was what Liam did after that, that would make anyone's skin crawl, and any sober person begin to panic.

He moved across the room with silent footsteps, closing and locking the bedroom door before returning to the bed where Aria lied, oblivious to his actions. He stood behind her as he removed his shirt, his shoes, his jeans, and ultimately, his underwear. By the time Aria's brain registered that she wasn't alone yet, she felt the weight shift on the bed and a hand on her shoulder.

Liam pulled Aria from her fetal position onto her back. Her eyes widened at what she saw and a scream bubbled in her throat, but wouldn't come out.

She couldn't move. No matter how hard she tried, she was stuck. All she could do was watch.

She watched his eyes darken with lust and power.

She watched his hands begin to make their ways towards her shorts.

She watched his breathing become heavier with each second that ticked by.

She watched his lips as they began to speak the words she'd never forget.

"Shhhhhhh," He whispered, mimicking her words from earlier. "Don't tell anyone."

 _To Be Continued…_

 **A/N: That was part 1 of the highly anticipated Halloween chapter. There will be a lot more Ezria in part 2, I swear. Remember, this was a turning point for past Ezria, so we are about to start touching on the events that led to their falling out. I'm so excited for you guys to finally get that part of the story in its entirety.**

 **Don't forget, the next chapter (a '26' one) will have a small time jump, but don't worry. You will find out what happened with that kiss. I will tease that that too will be a major turning point for Ezria. But is it a good one or a bad one? You'll have to wait and see.**

 **As always, please leave me your thoughts, questions, feelings, predictions, etc. by reviewing. They really make my days and motivate me to crank out chapters as soon as possible.**

 **Thank y'all so much for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	28. Chapter 28

_2016_

 _*three weeks post kiss*_

"Why?"

The single word echoed off of the walls in the nearly empty apartment and resonated in Aria's chest.

As she sat on the couch facing her best friend, Aria couldn't help but acknowledge that she hadn't anticipated that question. She'd expected to get yelled at, screamed at, told that she was making the biggest mistake of her life – to be given the Spencer Hastings shake down to break down. Her mind was positioned on the defense. She had her answers ready and her water proof mascara on. Aria was prepared to get emotional; she was prepared to put out her friends burning questions and accusations with a few fresh tears.

Spencer loved her friend, and she loved her hard. She fought for her, fought with her, and kept her grounded when she needed it the most. That's why Aria had expected the worst. Surely in Spencer's mind there had to be the thought that Aria was the world's biggest idiot, that she was brainwashed and only seeing what she wanted to in the situation. It was impossible that she _wouldn't_ be thinking those things – Aria herself had had those thoughts bouncing around in her head for weeks prior – but what was even more impossible was that Spencer would be thinking those thoughts and _not_ vocalize them. Although, maybe she would. Maybe she just wanted to get this question out of the way first. It just threw Aria for a loop. She'd not predicted being asked the simplest, broadest of questions right off the bat. But since she had, she had to answer.

 _Why?_ Why had Aria done what she did? Why had she let it come to this again? Why was she so convinced that this was right, that this was a good idea?

Well, the answers started in his kiss.

 _"Fuck it."_

 _Those were the last words Ezra spoke to Aria before his lips were pressed against hers for the first time in 8 years. It felt foreign and familiar at the same time. Butterflies fluttered rapidly against her rib cage while her stomach churned down below…and even further down, a flame was reignited after being put out long ago._

 _She kept her hands firmly on her thighs, fingers digging into the soft skin so hard she was unknowingly leaving marks. In the back of her mind she could feel the pain she was inflicting on herself, but she knew that if she moved her hands, she would do 1 of 2 things. She would either slap Ezra as hard as she could or take his cheeks and pull him as close as possible, kissing him harder and deeper. It was a slippery slope either way, so she kept them still atop her legs._

 _He didn't pull away for what felt like 10 minutes, but in reality, had only been about 2. Although it wasn't as if Aria had been counting down the seconds until he released her from the gravity of his kiss, but rather, she felt as if time had stopped and they'd had all the time in the world to be together. Ezra had had that effect on her years ago. He'd made moments last forever at 18. At 26, he still had that magic about him._

 _When their lips did part, Ezra only pulled back a few centimeters, just far enough for the 2 of them to exchange the words necessary after what had just happened. In the dim lighting of the car, Aria could see the ghost of a smile tracing his lips. And in a moment of hyper-self-awareness, she could feel the space created between her teeth in her slack-jawed expression. She was shocked to say the least._

 _"Do I need to apologize or can I kiss you again?" Ezra whispered, his breath tickling her nose. Aria found herself considering the smell of blueberries radiating from his mouth instead of considering his question for a brief moment. Her brain was stalling and scared, so rather than answer, she looked._

 _She looked at the way the light from the diner was reflected in his baby blues, making them appear lively and full of hope. She looked at the way his hand tentatively hovered over her forearm and the way his body was bent across the center console just to be close to her. She studied the curls of his hair and the tufts of gray poking out from the sides – if it weren't for them, Aria wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between 2008 and 2016. So much had changed since then, but in that moment, it felt like nothing had changed at all._

 _He was still Ezra. She was still Aria. His kiss still sent waved of electricity through her veins and caused a warm feeling to grow in the pit of her stomach. There was still that same nervous energy that floated between them that there had been when they'd shared their first kiss at 13. Their hearts still synced with the movement of their lips. It all still felt…right._

 _She'd loved Ezra once. She'd never wanted it to end, and perhaps, if he hadn't denied fatherhood, they'd still be together. She'd believed they were soul mates years ago, and while the belief had gone away, maybe the truth of it hadn't. This could be their second chance._

 _Aria opened her mouth to speak, but found herself to be at a loss for words. The phrase 'kiss me again' sat heavily on her tongue, refusing to jump out into the atmosphere. She was scared, she knew that, but she also knew what she wanted._

 _As if Ezra could hear her unspoken words, he slowly began inching closer, gauging her reaction as he did so. Just before he closed the gap between them, he stopped. "Tell me."_

 _Still not having the courage to speak, Aria simply nodded, giving Ezra the green light to do exactly what she wanted. And this time when he kissed her, there was no hesitation. Her body relaxed, her hands cupped his cheeks. She liked it – no, she loved it._

3 weeks had passed since that kiss. Well, 3 weeks and 2 days. By Aria's calculations, 552 hours had passed since their lips reacquainted themselves. And approximately 312 of those 552 hours were spent regretting, worrying, convincing, and trying to accept what had happened.

Ezra had given her space. He hung around during the day, mostly to spend time with his daughter, and then retreated to a hotel in the evening. Sophie had been confused as to why Aria had allowed Ezra to stay overnight for a short period of time, but wouldn't anymore. Aria had given the best excuse she could, but even that wasn't enough to quell her child's curiosity. How could she explain what was going on to a little kid when she herself didn't even know?

However, about 10 days into their new, odd arrangement, Ezra decided he wasn't going to go to the hotel for the night. He was going to stay and they were going to talk things out. And they did.

It was in that talk that Aria would find another answer to Spencer's question.

 _Talking had always been so easy with Ezra. Even with the most awkward of subjects, the 2 of them could sit down and have an adult conversation about whatever it was that they needed to get off their chests. That night the topic happened to be Aria's reluctance to determine what she wanted after their kiss._

 _In all honesty, Aria didn't know what she wanted. There were times where she thought she wanted to be with Ezra, to hold him, love him, and become a real family. Then, there were times where Aria wanted to push him away. She couldn't get hurt again and she especially couldn't let him hurt Sophie._

 _But the great thing about Ezra was that he knew how to drive Aria to an answer without making her feel pressured in either direction. He understood how to talk to her and her anxiety._

 _"We're going to make a list," Ezra announced, returning to the couch with a piece of paper and a pen shortly after the 2 had finished telling Sophie goodnight._

 _"Of?" Aria raised an eyebrow. Her arm was resting on the back of the couch; her hand was propping up her head. She was tired. Spending the day fighting feelings for the father of her child was tough on her body. There was a small seed of hope in her stomach that told her that after tonight, the war in her head will be won and she will know where she stands. However, there was also doubt. Would she ever be able to trust Ezra enough to let herself love him again?_

 _"Pros and cons," Ezra settled in the cushions beside her. "What could go wrong and what could go right if we pursued a relationship."_

 _Aria nodded, watching Ezra draw a line down the middle of the page and label each side either Pros or Cons. The method seemed juvenile. They were deciding on their romantic future, not whether or not to sleep through their first class of the day in college. But even so, it was a simple way of coming to a conclusion, and Lord knew Aria needed something simple._

 _"I'll start," Ezra shrugged. "Pro: if this lasts, we'll be a real family just like we wanted years ago. Con: if it doesn't, we aren't only hurting ourselves, we'd hurt Soph."_

 _Aria blinked. She'd assumed he's start with something a little lighter than the happiness and well being of their child. But instead, he'd adopted a Spencer-like quality and got straight to the point, the meat of the subject. And since he had, she decided that she wouldn't beat around the bush either._

 _"Okay, pro: if it works, you can just adopt Sophie and there will be no questions asked. Con: if we break-up, we are no longer a couple, but that doesn't mean you're no longer Sophie's father. We'll have to explain everything because it doesn't make sense for mommy's ex to adopt her for absolutely no reason."_

 _Ezra frowned, "Either way, we're going to tell her the truth. She has to know."_

 _"That's a discussion for another time," Aria held up a hand. She knew that combination of pro/con would cause a riff between the 2 of them, but it needed to be said. Regardless of whether or not they told Sophie or when they told her, the adoption thing would be tricky. It was a viable concern._

 _"Alright," Ezra huffed. "Pro: I've missed you like crazy and regret walking away from you every day. I'd finally get to make things right. Con: I could screw it all up."_

 _The words, "I've missed you too" sat on Aria's lips, but she couldn't bring herself to say them. That could be enough to seal the deal, to tip them over the edge of becoming a couple again._

 _"Pro," Aria moved on from her own thoughts. "Not to sound shallow, but you being here takes pressure off of me and makes for a second income."_

 _"I'd provide for Soph no matter what, Ar," Ezra interrupted. "Friends or more than that, I'm going to help out."_

 _"Thanks," She muttered. "I appreciate that." She offered a smile big enough to show her gratitude, but small enough to not impair the somberness of the occasion._

 _"Of course," Ezra returned the same twitch of the lips. "Pro: I'd get to wake up to your beautiful face every day." Aria rolled her eyes, taking note of the obvious flattery and pointed effort to sneak in another upside before she could think of a con for her last pro, officially making more pros than cons. "Con: you have bad morning breath."_

 _Ezra laughed while Aria blushed. The same could be said for him, but she hadn't planned on swinging that low during this childish problem solver. Although, now she was rethinking her approach._

 _"Pro: I sleep better next to you. Con: you take up too much room," She winked._

 _Ezra furrowed his brow and let out a fake gasp, bringing his hand to his chest as he did so. "Are you calling me fat?"_

 _She shook her head and giggled, "No, I'm saying that you sprawl out like a starfish."_

 _"Well you're a blanket hog," Ezra retorted faux-viciously. "Always have been."_

 _"Add that to the con list then," Aria tapped the paper with her index finger._

 _"No," Ezra pulled the sheet closer to his body._

 _"Why not?"_

 _"Because there always has to be one more pro than con on this sheet. If I add that as a con, then it'll even out," Ezra explained, avoiding eye contact, but wearing a cheeky grin. He'd just revealed his master plan, but wasn't sure how Aria would take it. Lucky for him, she only smirked._

 _"This system seems rigged."_

 _"You'll thank me later," Ezra promised._

 _A little over a week had passed since they made that list and as promised, Aria grew a little more thankful for that extra pro every day._

The final answer to Spencer's question was one that Aria didn't even know how to convey to anyone aside from herself. It didn't make much sense, even in her own head. It was a jumble of events of the past and present that told her that her decision had been the right one.

She'd once been so convinced that Ezra was the love of her life. She thought they'd get married, start a family, grow old together. When those dreams fell through the cracks, Aria was crushed, but she moved on. But not even her love for Matt could compared to what she felt for Ezra as a teenager. She'd figured that that was just how the world worked. Sometimes you don't end up with the one who lights an inextinguishable fire inside of you. Sometimes you have to settle because you can't have what you really want. But now, the universe was showing her that things didn't have to be that way. It was giving her and Ezra another chance, all she had to do was accept it and pray that things would be different this time around – and from the looks of it, they already were.

Despite the similarities – the secrecy of their relationship, the old flames, the same desires – there were already glaring differences in the short time they'd been back together. They were adults. They were more mature, more respectful, and more put together. They felt more in control of where their future was going to go than they had as kids. If they wanted to be in each other's lives, they could make it work. Now, Aria knew that was easier said than done, but the mere thought of that being a possibility made her giddy.

And while Ezra hadn't wanted to even entertain the idea of being a father 8 years, he was taking to the job like a cat to catnip. He treated Sophie the way she deserved the be treated, and as a mother, that's all Aria could ever ask for in a partner. If they treated her daughter well, her heart was theirs.

 _"I don't want it," Sophie pouted._

 _That was the last thing Aria wanted to hear on a day like this._

 _She'd spent all day juggling setting her up classroom for the upcoming school year and making lesson plans and keeping Sophie entertained. She was exhausted by the time they got home and all she wanted to do was make a pot of her favorite soup and sit down with her family for nice, relaxing dinner. And that would've happened…expect Sophie didn't like gnocchi and wasn't too shy to let her mother know. Aria was ready to throttle her._

 _"Soph, just please eat it," Aria sighed. "It won't kill you."_

 _"Can't I have a pop tart or something?" Sophie crossed her arms over her chest._

 _"Soph…"_

 _"Please?"_

 _"No," Aria raised her voice, causing both Sophie and Ezra to jump. "Broaden your horizons and eat the goddamn soup. It's good for you."_

 _"Ugh, you're so mean!" Sophie yelled, shoving the soup back, causing a bit to spill onto the table._

 _Had the liquid landed on Aria's skin, it surely would've sizzled. Her body was hot and tense. If it weren't reason for her neighbors to call the cops, she would've flipped the table right then and there. Talking was too easy. She needed to act._

 _But, as if he sensed her rage reaching its peak, Ezra put a hand out and grabbed Aria's forearm tightly. She tended to lash out when she was angry. He remembered that._

 _"Ar," Ezra warned. "Let me handle this, okay?"_

 _Out of spite, Aria almost hissed that he had no right to "handle this" because he had only been a part of his daughter's life for a couple of months, but her better judgment stopped her before she could. Instead, she just glared and gripped the edge of her seat with iron fists._

 _"Sophie," Ezra lowered his voice, coming across calm but oddly eerie. "Your mom worked hard all day and doesn't want to fight with you about this. She doesn't want to make you another meal either. I know this isn't your favorite soup, but please, for her sake can you just eat half of it? Just half. Then you can have a cheese stick or a PB &J or something with a little protein in it. No pop tarts, that's pure sugar. But you can have something else if you just eat half of your soup." _

_It would be nice to say that that worked, to say that Sophie complied and they all lived happily ever after, but Sophie was stubborn like her mother. It was going to take a lot more persuading than that to get the child to agree to the terms. However, despite the fact that his little plea didn't work, Aria was still impressed by the way Ezra handled the situation. He didn't lose his head. He didn't raise his voice. He was the complete antithesis of Aria. He balanced her out, and as far as Aria was concerned, there was nothing wrong with that. In fact, it was just what she needed in her life. Balance._

"I think…I think that's why I've decided to give us another try," Aria looked down at her hands as she finished what felt like an hour's worth of monologue. She'd explained her choice as best she could. There was nothing left to say. Now, she could only listen to what her friend had to say in response.

Spencer sighed, letting her eyes flutter shut immediately after. Aria couldn't tell if it was a sigh of disappointment or resignation. She hoped for the latter.

"Why did you wait so long to even tell me that Ezra was back in your life?"

Once again, Spencer asked a question that Aria hadn't been expecting to hear. But this time, she had an answer at the ready.

"Because I thought you'd be upset. I thought you'd tell me that I was an idiot and making a huge mistake," Aria bit her lip, still keeping her gaze on her hands in her lap.

Spencer let out another sigh and cocked her head to one side, "Aria, I don't…I can't get behind this relationship right away. He hurt you and I know you've forgiven him for that, or you're trying to, or whatever, but being in the 3rd party position that I am, I can see him in a light without any emotions. My heart isn't weighing in on him like yours is. I've got a more logical outlook on the situation, but…that being said, I don't think you're wrong for trying again. It's your life and your relationship. I know what it's like to have your heart scream louder than your head and while it can be a bad thing, it can also be a good thing. So, while I don't like the fact that you're back together right now, I'm sure I'll come around as time passes and he proves himself to be worthy of you again."

Aria smiled, feeling all of the weight in the world being lifted from her shoulders. Suddenly, she could breathe again. Spencer was going to be her biggest critic, and now that she knew, Aria knew that she could tell everyone else with ease.

"Thank you, Spence. That means a lot."

She moved in for a hug, but was stopped by a knee-jerk reaction by Spencer. She recoiled and raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Well," Spencer rubbed her palms on her jeans. "I was just wondering, how you're going to make it work when the baby gets here?"

Aria's pupils dilated. That questions made her feel like she was in a time warp, like she was 18 again, only this time…she wasn't pregnant. There was absolutely no way she was pregnant.

"What the hell are you talking about? What baby?" Her words came down on Spencer like a whip on skin. They cracked and accused and bled. If Spencer was making a joke, a reference to Sophie's conception, it wasn't funny. If she wasn't, then what the hell did she mean by her question?

It was Spencer's turn for her pupils to dilate. "Ezra hasn't told you?"

"Told me what?" Aria spat, her breathing increasing by the second.

"I…when I saw him leaving the courthouse with Nicole awhile back…she…" Spencer paused for a second that felt like half an hour in Aria's mind. "Nicole's pregnant."

 **A/N:** **Another cliff-hanger! I know, I'm the worst. I give you cliff-hangers and then wait too long to update. I want to apologize for the gap between updates. I have just been super busy between social and academic obligations that I haven't had time to sit down and write. I also apologize that this chapter is a little rusty. Nearly 2 weeks without writing and I start to lose my mojo.**

 **Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I did the little time jump and I hope that you are satisfied with how I revealed information on Ezria's new relationship. As for the cliff-hanger, I will tease that it will be explained in the next '26' chapter, but in the meantime, I want to hear your predictions on what you think will happen now that Aria had this information.**

 **As always, please review. Let me know your thoughts, predictions, and suggestions! I will try not to make you wait too long for the next update. Love you guys!**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	29. Chapter 29

_2007_

 _(part 2)_

When Aria was 6-years-old, she fell from one of the higher steps of her tree house and broke her left arm. Ezra had climbed down just before her and witnessed the whole thing, from the misstep to the loud, bone-crunching landing. He'd thought about trying to catch her, but in the split second that he hesitated with a decision, she was already hitting the ground. It was too late to be proactive; all he could do was be _reactive._

He had gasped, eyes wide and ears anticipating a scream. Aria stayed silent for a moment, too shocked from the fall to properly react. However, once she eyed her limp, unresponsive arm, terror set in and her face contorted with pain. She'd let out a loud sob and a high pitched moan as tears began to rapidly stream from her eyes, and once again, Ezra was left with a decision that kept him frozen in place. Should he go get Aria's mom or should he move to comfort his friend?

It only took a few seconds for him to realize that he shouldn't leave her alone to wallow in the hot summer heat. He would hold her until she felt okay to stand up and move inside to alert Ella. She leaned into him the second he sat down next to her and buried her head into the crook of his neck. Even at such a young age, neither of them could deny the fact that her head just seemed to _fit_ there, and because of that Ezra couldn't help but smile gently as he squeezed Aria's shoulders the way his father always squeezed his when he was upset.

It only took about a minute after that for Ella to hear Aria's cries from inside and rush out to see what was wrong with her daughter. Aria had been under too much duress to articulate what had happened, so Ezra took care of the narration. When he finished the short story that had turned into a long-winded one because that's just how 6-year-olds operated, Ella scooped Aria into her arms and announced they'd be going to the ER and that Ezra should head home.

The next day, Aria dawned a pink cast and a smile once again. She thanked Ezra for helping her out when she was hurting and let him be the first one to sign her cast. He'd written: Get Well Soon. Love, Ezra. He was addressing her bone rather than her spirit. Emotionally, she was fine. She wasn't in any pain and was back to her normal, bubbly self. She was already well, and 6 weeks later, she was healed too.

When Aria was 15, she found out that her father had cheated on her mother and that her parents were filing for divorce. She was devastated. She shut herself away and refused to talk to anyone about what she was feeling. She had Mike – who was in just as bad of a place as she was – and that was all she felt she needed.

Had Ezra not seen Byron moving his belongings into the trunk of his car while simultaneously being chewed out by Ella with his own eyes, he would've thought that Aria was angry at _him_ and that was the reason for her sudden silence. But he knew that scene all too well. It only took a few seconds to process what was going on. Ella and Byron were getting a divorce, and it was killing their daughter.

Ezra didn't receive details of the divorce for several days. It was only when he heard his mother on the phone with Ella as she attempted to console her broken friend that Ezra learned what Byron had done to his family. He'd stepped out on them. And it was in that moment that Ezra realized just how much pain his girlfriend was in. Her father just left her for another family. She would never have a good relationship with him again. She might not even forgive him for what he'd done. This pain could follow her for the rest of her life.

Absolute disgust and hatred toward Byron settled in the pit of Ezra's stomach. How could he do that to his family? To Aria? He wanted to knock the man out, not that it would help anything – not that any of those emotions would help anything. He couldn't be angry at Byron. He had to be there for Aria…but only when she chose to let him in.

And she didn't…not for awhile, anyways. It took nearly 3 weeks for Aria to even begin to smile regularly again, and another 2 weeks after that for Aria to sit down with Ezra and explain exactly what had been going through her head. None of it was pretty. But like the good boyfriend that Ezra was, he sat with her and listened until she had no more to say. He let her cry, let her rant, let her use him as a punching bag. He shared his own experiences of divorce with her and let her in on some of the coping strategies that he used. He stayed up with her until she put everything out in the open, and once she had, he stayed even longer.

Aria wasn't the textbook definition of "okay" for a long time, and when the divorce was finalized, she reverted back into her pity shell. But Ezra understood. All he could do was support her and hold her when she needed to be held, so he did. Her spirit was shattered, but he knew that it would come back together in time. And he was right. Within the year, the Aria he'd fallen in love with was back and everything was right.

When you're friends with someone for as long as Aria and Ezra had been friends, you are bound to go through some broken bones and hard times. You're going to see the best of them and the worst of them, from both internal and external standpoints. And you stick by them during every up and down because you care about them, because you know that bad times never last and that good times should be celebrated. You're sure of the bond the two of you share and know that nothing can come between you, no matter how hard it tried. And you're right…until you're not anymore.

Liam had been gone for far too long in Ezra's opinion. He said he was going to take Aria to lie down in Alison's guest bedroom. He'd said nothing about a return, but every sane person assumed he'd at least pop his head back outside and tell the group that Aria was alright and asleep. But he hadn't, and that made Ezra uncomfortable.

After excusing himself from the group on the porch, Ezra slipped inside the house and began to make his way upstairs. As he ascended the staircase, he scanned the room with hazy, heavy eyes, searching for any sign of Liam. It was possible that he went back to hang out with his friends after taking Aria to bed, but there was something inside of Ezra that told him that wasn't the case. He just prayed to God with everything in him that he was wrong. But when he spotted Matt Callahan and a few other lacrosse guys and no Liam, he felt his insides begin to shake. Something wasn't right.

In the final few steps to the landing of the second floor, a million thoughts raced through Ezra head, all trying to serve as an explanation as to why Liam could still be in the room with Aria. Maybe she had gotten sick and he was holding her hair while she threw up over the toilet. Maybe she had hurt herself and he was helping her remedy the problem. Maybe she had an emotional breakdown and he was trying to sooth her. Maybe whatever was happening was totally innocent.

But it wasn't.

Ezra had never sobered up so quickly in his entire life. As he reached for the door handle, he was still drunk and pretty high, but the second he pushed it open and his eyes landed on the scene unfolding in the bedroom, he was just as sober as he'd been when he arrived to the party.

His limbs felt numb. His blood boiled. His head started to spin. Nothing about that moment felt real. His eyes had to be deceiving him.

He felt anger, rage, jealousy, fear, guilt, and disbelief all at once. It was enough to paralyze him, but he knew better than to let his emotions take over. Not right now. He could save the what-ifs, the self-loathing, and the hatred for later.

Suddenly, Ezra was 6-years-old again – responding too late to a situation. If only he'd made the decision to come up here sooner, then maybe Aria's wouldn't be spread eagle on the bed with two unwanted fingers shoved inside of her and a penis forced into her hand. Maybe she would be safe and Ezra could be holding her instead. But that wasn't what had happened, so just like he had when he was 6, Ezra had to reactive rather than proactive. Only this time, Ezra's first reaction wouldn't be to squeeze Aria's shoulders and let her head rest in the crook of his neck. It would be to beat the shit out of Liam.

Though Aria's head was lolled in the direction of the door, she was too far gone to comprehend that someone else had walked into the room. And since Liam had his back to the door, he hadn't noticed anyone enter either. This worked to Ezra's advantage.

All it took was two swift steps to put Ezra at the foot of the bed that Liam and Aria occupied. Not bothering to conceive a game plan before taking action, Ezra clamped a hand down on Liam's calf and yanked him backwards with all of the strength he could manage- which was a lot more than he was expecting. It would come to his attention later that this move left a bruise on Liam's body.

Liam yelped and spun around, half attempting to cover himself, half attempting to gather his wits about him. But before he could even get a clear look at the man who interrupted his torture, Ezra's fist was connecting with his jaw.

There was a loud crack, similar to the one Ezra had heard when Aria fell from the steps of the treehouse years ago. Ezra doubted he was strong enough to break someone's jaw, but he liked to think he had at least inflicted serious pain to the guy.

Liam's naked body flopped backwards onto the bed, his hands immediately finding his face and cupping it, a sob of agony escaping his throat.

"What the hell man?" Liam spat, a small amount of blood trickling from his lips.

As if Ezra wasn't already furious enough, that pathetic excuse for a human being was actually pretending that he didn't know _why_ Ezra had just punched the daylight out of him. Even if Aria wasn't his girlfriend, Ezra would've reacted the same way if he walked in on that scene. Liam was sexually assaulting an almost unconscious girl. And if Ezra had to guess (he'd be correct), he'd say that Liam probably laced Aria's drink with some sort of sedative prior to bringing her up here. Now that he was thinking about it, Aria went from okay drunk to nearly passed out without hitting any of the middle ground between the two. Liam had definitely drugged her.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ezra roared, lunging towards the aching man, fist swinging and connecting hard with different parts of his body. "What the fuck did you do to her? Why would you hurt her? What the actual fuck is the matter with you?"

With each question, Ezra was slamming his fist down onto Liam's face and chest. Liam was trying to fight back, but failing miserably due to the leverage Ezra had by being above him and filled with rage. Aria was watching the whole thing unfold directly beside them, but couldn't bring herself to react in any way. She tried to let out a small moan to remind them of her presence and inability to move, but even that was impossible in her state. All she could do was watch helplessly and listen to the sound of Liam's bones crunching with each hit.

A blow to the nose cause blood to pour out of his nostrils and trickle down onto the tan bed sheets. Internally, Aria cringed. Externally, she stayed completely still.

Ezra's knuckles turned maroon as they coated themselves in Liam's blood, but that didn't cause him to stop. Instead, it seemed like it only fueled his fire. Unfortunately, it also fueled Liam's.

It only took a few more punches before Liam began to reciprocate. The first hit went to Ezra's cheek. The second to his eye. The third threw him backwards and onto the floor.

"Get the fuck off me," Liam screeched as if Ezra wasn't already on the floor. "Don't fucking touch me. You hear me? You come at me again and I swear to God I'll call the cops."

"You're fucking joking, right?" Ezra yelled as he steadied himself in the upright position. "I'm not the one who would get in trouble if the fucking cops showed up. Do you even know what the fuck you did? Do you know how disgusting you are?"

Aria held her breath as she watched her boyfriend approach her attacker again. They were both bloodied and black and blue, though neither looked like they were prepared to surrender.

"Shut the fuck up, man. She asked for it," Liam scoffed as he bent over to pick up his clothes, which were conveniently left by the door.

Aria's stomach churned. That was a lie and she was going to be even sicker than the alcohol was already making her feel.

"Get out," Ezra growled. "NOW."

The force behind Ezra's last bellow made Aria's heart stop and Liam almost visibly shit himself before fumbling for the door and shuffling out, pants and underwear in hand.

The door slammed shut behind him, leaving Aria and Ezra alone in silence.

A barely-there sob broke through the thick blanket of quiet, thought neither of them knew which one made the sound. Maybe it was Ezra. Maybe it was Aria. Maybe it was the both of them. They couldn't tell. Not that it mattered. Nothing felt like it mattered much in that moment.

A few seconds ticked by before Ezra turned to face his girlfriend. It was the first time he really got a good look at the fragile girl lying on the bed. His heart broke into a million pieces at the sight of her.

It was obvious that she'd been crying. Mascara was streaked down her cheeks in uneven lines and her eyeliner had bunched beneath her lash line. Her skin was blotchy and her breathing was ragged. Ezra could only imagine her silent pleas for help and the way her face had contorted with terror when she realized what Liam was about to do.

Her sports bra was still on, however, the straps were pulled down. Her shorts had been thrown onto the floor and her underwear was bunched up next to her thigh. There were a few of what appeared to be bruises on her forearms and a hickey or two on her neck. She would bare the physical scars of this night for at least the next week. But she would bare the emotional scars for perhaps the rest of her life.

Ezra opened his mouth to say something…anything. He wanted to ask if she was okay. He wanted to ask if she was in any pain. He wanted to ask if she wanted him to get the police involved or if she wanted to go home. But when he looked into her eyes, he got the answers to all of his questions without a word being spoken. She wasn't okay. She was in pain. She didn't want to inform anyone of what had just happened, not now at least. And she didn't want to go home.

What she wanted was for him to hold her, just as he had when she'd broken her arm when they were 6, just as he had when she was dealing with her parents' divorce. And so he did. Only, this time, he knew she wouldn't come back tomorrow with a pink cast and smile on her face as she had when she was 6. No amount of bandages or bright colors would restore what had just been broken inside of her. He couldn't write "Get Well Soon" on her arm and everything be okay. This time, Ezra couldn't share his own experiences to help her get through this pain. She wouldn't be over this in a matter of 5 weeks, and there was a possibility that she may not open up to him at all about it. He wouldn't understand even if she did. This time, Ezra was helpless and Aria was broken.

This would take time to even begin to scab over…more time than the two of them had left together, thought neither of them knew that at the time…and maybe that was best.

 **A/N: Wowowowowow I'm the absolute worst. "I'll update soon" my ass. I am so sorry you guys! These past (almost) 3 weeks have been hectic. As far as college goes, I've had mid-terms, regular tests, speeches, and multiple readings to do. And while I'd love to say that because of those things, I've had absolutely no time to do anything else, I don't want to lie to you. I have had spare time; I have just used that spare time to fuel my social life. If any of you follow me on Snapchat (erin_leigh98 *shameless plug*), Instagram (same a Snapchat), or Twitter (erinleigh98), you might have seen that I went home this past weekend to see my family and friends, and when I returned to college, I attended a Halloween party. Beyond this past weekend, I've just been using my free time to watch Netflix with my boyfriend or to go out with friends. And to be completely honest, I just haven't been in the writing mood, so even if I wasn't doing anything, I couldn't bring myself to write. But, I'm back in the writing mood now and I only have one class tomorrow so I'm going to try to start on the next chapter and have it up for you guys by the end of the week!**

 **Anyways, enough of me rambling. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and that it was worth the wait. Like I said, I struggled with wanting to write it, but I think it turned out alright. Please let me know what you thought by leaving a review!**

 **Thank you all so much for reading! Love you guys!**

 **-Erin xoxo**

 **P.S. also, please know that I will never, ever abandon this story. It may take me 3 weeks to upload (hopefully that'll never happen again), but I will never give up on the story. It will be finished and I'm actually already brainstorming ideas for my next story, so I am far from finished writing fanfiction. :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N (part 1): So I want to preface this chapter with an apology and an explanation. I know I've gotten bad about uploading recently and trust me, I hate me too. I really don't have an excuse so I'm not going to try to make one. There were a lot of opportunities for me to write over the past couple of week that I just didn't take and I'm sorry. That being said, whenever I did decide to sit down and write, I couldn't get this chapter right. I've rewritten it several times, so what you're about to read is the result of many trials and errors. I hope this satisfies your expectations and that you enjoy. And if you're still here after me going M.I.A. more than once, thank you! Christmas break is coming up and with that comes a lot of downtime to write!**

 _Previously in 2016:_

" _Ezra hasn't told you?"_

" _Told me what?" Aria spat, her breathing increasing by the second._

" _I…when I saw him leaving the courthouse with Nicole awhile back…she…" Spencer paused for a second that felt like half an hour in Aria's mind. "Nicole's pregnant."_

 _2016_

"Mrs. Fitz, there's an Amy Mathers here to see you."

As soon as those words left the lips of the stuffy secretary at Picture Perfect Real Estate, Aria's skin began to crawl around on her bones. It wasn't the lie she told – the fake name she'd given to avoid raising any suspicion prior to her interaction with Nicole – but rather, the fact that the secretary had referred to Nicole as _Mrs. Fitz._ Surely she knew about the couple's impending divorce. Surely Nicole wouldn't want to be called by her soon-to-be-old last name anymore. Unless of course, she hadn't wanted the divorce as much as Ezra made it seem like she had. Perhaps she was the one trying to make things work and he was the one not caring. Ever since the baby bomb that Spencer had dropped on her not two hours ago, Aria couldn't be too sure of anything Ezra had told her about his marriage or its downfall.

"She'll be right out to escort you back to her office," The secretary said as she directed her attention to the computer screen to get back to whatever she had been doing before Aria walked in.

Aria nodded in response and took a small step back, as if that extra inch of distance made a difference in ending the exchange. She picked at the hem of her shirt, wandering what Nicole's reaction would be upon seeing her. Ezra had made it pretty clear that he'd talked to her about Aria several times. It only made sense that she would've seen pictures so that she could put a face to a name. But suddenly, Aria found herself wishing to cast logic aside and hoping that her face would be a new one in Nicole's eyes. That would buy her a little more time to gather her thoughts, allowing her to ask the right questions in order to get the right answers.

However, the minute Nicole pushed open the door separating the main entrance from the office space, her face fell and her hand instinctively went to protect her protruding belly. She almost looked like she wanted to vomit, and in all honesty, Aria couldn't blame her. In that moment, purging would probably benefit them both.

"Ms.…Mathers," Nicole stated in an eerily calm way as she plastered a fake smile onto her face. "Right this way."

If the tension in the room wasn't already sky high, the minute Aria crossed over the threshold and stepped back into the concealed hallway, the mood shifted, becoming nearly suffocating and showing its effects on both of the women's faces.

It was 15 paces from the door to the lobby to Nicole's office. Aria only knew this because she counted her steps to occupy her mind and keep from blurting out "Are you carrying Ezra's child or not?" in a hallway teeming with clients and agents alike. Once inside, Nicole shut the door and they both took their respective seats. The thick silence from the hallway had followed them into the cubicle sized room, but sat a little heavier on their chests as they sat in their chairs. A couple of seconds ticked by, but before too much time was wasted, Nicole opened her mouth.

"Aria Montgomery," Nicole huffed out, her eyes fluttering a little in annoyance. "In the flesh. It's a wonder that we haven't run into each other around town in all the years that we've lived here. But…you've run into my husband haven't you?"

Aria cocked her head to the side, trying to comprehend Nicole's tone and underlying accusations. She sounded very…high school. It was like Aria had "stolen" Ezra away from Nicole – like she had been throwing herself at him the whole time they were together in hopes that eventually Ezra would leave his wife for her. That very clearly was not the case and Nicole very clearly was just being petty with her words. However, she couldn't call her out as harshly as she would've liked to. Nicole was the only human alive aside from Aria and Ezra who knew the whole, true story of what happened between their 18-year-old selves. Every detail had been poured into her by a distraught Ezra at some point and it was possible that she even knew that Ezra had suspected his real role in Sophie's conception. Her knowledge wasn't exactly blackmail material, but it was enough to turn whatever civil conversation they could have into a loud and accusatory act.

"You know I'm seeing Ezra again." Aria phrased her answer as a statement rather than a question. It was a bold claim, but Nicole's "holier-than-thou" demeanor from seconds ago didn't necessarily make it a risky one either.

Nicole nodded, but didn't speak. She wanted Aria to say more, perhaps to get er to put her foot in her mouth.

"He's told me a little about the reasons for your divorce but –" That's all Aria could get out before her eyes betrayed her. With her curiosity, it was next to impossible not to stare at Nicole's large belly. She was huge. Much bigger than Aria herself had been at 7 months. But, then again, Sophie was only a 6-pound baby and she'd carried her more in her back. The child inside of Nicole was obviously going to be much bigger.

"He didn't tell you that I was pregnant and you want to know why he'd keep that quiet?" Nicole arched an eyebrow.

For a moment, Aria considered shaking her head rapidly and making up some lame alternative reason to ease Nicole into the "is Ezra your baby daddy?" question. But, after giving it a short second thought, she decided it wasn't worth the effort.

"Yeah," Aria sighed. "I can't help but wonder if the reason he didn't tell me about it was because…the baby's his."

She bit her lip as she watched Nicole's expressions carefully. It didn't change much, but Aria caught the slight twitch of her lip and narrowing of her eyes. She almost looked amused by Aria's helpless questions. And considering she knew Aria's pervious trials with pregnancy, that was a rather sick emotion to be feeling.

"The last time Ezra and I so much as saw each other naked was back in December. There's not even a chance that this could be his baby. No, this little boy is all Liam's." Nicole stoked her belly calmly while panic shot through Aria's veins.

Liam wasn't the most common name in the world, but it wasn't impossible for there to be 2 Liam's in the state of Pennsylvania. Last she'd heard, the Liam from her horrible Halloween night lived in Philadelphia. It wasn't a far drive. It just far enough away to keep an affair quiet for awhile. But everything in Aria's head wanted to clarify that she was wrong because if she wasn't, then suddenly, Aria wasn't the only one in the room who didn't know as much about her lover's past as she thought she did.

"Liam?" Aria raised both eyebrows. "Liam Greene?" She tried her best to sound neutral when saying her assailant's name.

"Yeah?" Nicole narrowed her eyes, this time in confusion. "You know him?"

"Uh…he went to high school with Ezra and me. We didn't interact much, but yeah I knew him. I'm surprised neither Ezra nor Liam didn't mention that to you." Once again, Aria tried not to let her emotions influence her tone, but she was extremely taken aback by Nicole's ignorance to who her secret lover was. Surely she and Liam had done what all normal couples do – get to know each other. That includes where you went to school, where you grew up, etc. Was Liam somehow able to evade all of those questions? Did Nicole just not care to ask?

"Liam doesn't like to talk about his childhood," Nicole clucked her tongue. _Maybe because he raped a girl his senior year._ "And Ezra refuses to acknowledge Liam in any way. The only time he gets brought up is if I have something to say about him. I understand it though. I mean…Liam's the man Ezra lost me to. Must make him feel pretty inferior."

A sarcastic comment sat on Aria's tongue about that _not_ being the reason that Ezra couldn't stand the man, but she suppressed it, mostly because she was trying to figure out why he never told Nicole exactly what Liam had done in his past to warn her of the vile human she was getting involved with. But as that thought passed through her mind, another instantly followed.

Liam being the father of Nicole's baby was probably _exactly_ the reason that Ezra refrained from telling Aria about the pregnancy. He wasn't stupid. He figured how Aria would react if she found out that Nicole was pregnant. She'd do exactly what she _was_ doing right now. He knew the fear that would course through her veins while she thought about the possibility of Ezra abandoning yet another child before birth. And he knew that that fear would drive her to talk to Nicole, and that that conversation would lead to her discovering Liam's involvement in the situation. His involvement in the divorce was also probably the reason Ezra refused to give Nicole's mystery man a name in the past. He hated the man with a passion, and he knew that the mere thought of Liam was enough to make bile rise in Aria's throat. By not telling Aria about the pregnancy, he was, in a way, protecting her from the uprising of unwanted memories.

"How did you and Liam meet?" It was a dumb question, but it was the only one Aria could think of that didn't sound suspicious or worrisome.

Nicole furrowed her brow. She wasn't expecting that question. "Tindr." And Aria wasn't expecting _that_ answer.

"A dating app? So were were actively searching for someone else while you were with Ezra?" Aria was in a small state of shock. Not only had Nicole cheated, but she'd purposefully sought out a man to have an affair with. Maybe she deserved not to know the truth about the father of her child. Karma was a bitch after all.

"You dated Ezra," Nicole scoffed. "You should know better than most that he isn't exactly husband material." Her cadence of her voice implied that she had rolled her eyes, but Aria couldn't tell due to Nicole's attention suddenly being directed to the bump beneath her breasts.

"What do you mean by that? He was a great boyfriend," Aria felt herself getting defensive. The attack on Ezra felt personal because for the first time in a long time, it was. Though she hadn't told him yet, Aria did love Ezra, and she would do whatever it took to defend that love.

"Yeah, when you were 18," Nicole shrugged. "But even then, you cheated on him too, so obviously he wasn't that _great."_ She put air quotes around the word "great" as if Aria had meant it as ironically as she had.

"I didn't cheat on him," Aria said through gritted teeth.

"Oh yeah, _you were on a break_ " Once again, Nicole used air quotes. "A regular Rachel and Ross." She laughed as if she was dead on, though she could not have been more far off from what had really happened. Maybe if she'd bothered to asked her baby daddy a little bit more about his history in Rosewood, she'd know that. "Either way, he's not the best husband in the world. I'd say you dodged a bullet, but he seems to have the boomerang effect on you. I wouldn't be surprised if you were just his rebound. He lost you, so he found me. And in a weird twist of fate, he lost me, and found you again."

"Some would call that _fate,"_ Aria argued, though she wasn't really sure why. She'd gotten all she needed out of the woman. She didn't need to sit here any longer, but something was pressing her to stay. Maybe it was to pick her brains about Liam and the man he was today. Maybe it was the want to get to know more about the woman that Ezra chose to start his life with over Aria.

"Believe what you want, but that man hasn't changed since the day I met him, and presumably, since the last time the 2 of you were together," Nicole sighed as though she wished Ezra had lived up to her standards, like something in her still wanted to hold on to the man she fell in love with years ago. Aria knew the feeling.

Losing Ezra was difficult. And although she and Nicole experienced losing him in different ways, the undeniable feelings of withdrawal were the same. One day without him and you start to miss the heat that radiated from his body as he held you close. Two days, you begin to long for his scent. Three days and all you want is to hear his groggy morning voice. A week goes by and you begin to hear the ghost of his laugh echoing in the back rooms. A month, and you begin to forget what it felt like to hear him say "I love you" but you desperately want to say it to him. A year, and the sound of his name still stings your heart. Two years, and you're numb. Suddenly eight years have gone by and you realize you've never completely gotten over him.

"He's the same _person_ that I grew up with," Aria defended. "But he's matured a hell of a lot."

"So he's finally taking responsibility for his child?" Nicole asked, though not condescendingly. She sounded sincerely surprised, as if Ezra had once declared that he'd never step up and help raise Sophie. And that shocked tone mimicked Aria's reaction. Ezra had always said he suspected Sophie was his, but to think he shared that suspicion with Nicole and that she _believed_ it was almost mind blowing.

"He is," Aria nodded, deciding to just agree rather than press for details about how she knew.

"So…Sophie, is it? Sophie is Ezra's child?" Nicole rested a hand on her stomach as she asked the question, her voice gentle and genuine.

"Yes," Aria bit her lip. "After my husband died, I had a paternity test done and…the results came back negative. Matt was not Sophie's father. The only other person it could've been was Ezra."

Nicole's face softened to match the tone of her voice. Suddenly it seemed as she had shifted sides. One minute she was bashing Ezra, now she glowed of something resembling happiness with the knowledge that he did in fact have a daughter.

"You know, I'm not going to take back what I said about Ezra not being a great husband. He wasn't. Maybe he just didn't care enough about me to try. Maybe marriage just isn't his thing. But, I will say…" Nicole sighed. "He begged to be a part of Jack's," She pointed to her stomach. "life. He knew it wasn't his kid, but he wanted to be a father so bad. He never said this out loud, but I could tell that every time he saw a picture of Sophie on Facebook, living a life without him, he died a little inside. He knew. He wanted to make it right. He just didn't know how."

Aria swallowed a lump in her throat as she nodded. Of course, she'd heard all of that from Ezra before, but hearing it from Nicole made it even more real for some reason. It reassured her that Ezra had meant everything that he said and had every intent to keep the promises he'd made. Forget what Nicole said about Ezra being a shitty husband. That didn't matter. Aria wasn't looking for a husband in Ezra…yet. She was looking for a father for her daughter. He'd proven himself thus far and according to Nicole, he would continue to prove himself for a long, long time.

"Thank you for telling me that," Aria smiled slightly. "It's nice to know he wanted to be there for Soph when he wasn't. It's reassuring."

Nicole nodded slowly. "You…you came here because you thought this baby was Ezra's, right? If I had told you it was, what would you have done?"

The question wasn't completely out of left field, but it wasn't the one Aria expected to be asked next. It also wasn't one Aria had an answer to. Sure she'd shown up to the place fully expecting to hear that Ezra was the father of Nicole's unborn son, but she hadn't exactly concocted a response or reaction. She'd had no idea how she would confront Ezra with the news had she gotten it. It wasn't like she could've told him to go back to Nicole and stay married to her, but it also wasn't like she would've let him continue to be a part of Sophie's life. Two families, one broken, another trying to heal? That could never work. Sophie didn't even know Ezra was her father. When she did find out, how would she feel knowing Ezra had another child that he'd been there for since birth? Aria wouldn't have let those emotions confuse her daughter.

"I…honestly don't know," Aria shook her head, sighing as she did so. "I didn't have a plan because I didn't want it to be true."

"Well, now you don't have to worry about it," Nicole gave an awkward smile. "As soon as the divorce is finalized, I will be out of Ezra's hair forever and there will be no reason for us to see each other again."

"Can I ask what went wrong?" The question came out of Aria's mouth before she could stop it. "You said that Ezra wasn't a good husband, but…what made him that way? What made you seek out someone else?"

Nicole scrunched up her face like she had to think about it, but her answer came much too quick for her not to have an explanation ready. "Like I said, he hasn't changed from the day I met him. I was his rebound Aria. When I met him, he was still pining over you. I deluded myself into thinking that he grew to love me more than he loved you, but the longer we were married, the more it became evident that he didn't. He didn't want kids with me. I think he felt like he'd betray Sophie if we ever conceived. But I looked past that for awhile. Then, he started being lazy in our relationship. He stopped listening to what I wanted. He would get really jealous if another guy even looked at me when we were out. He started drinking a little bit too much at the start of last year. To be honest, I don't know how much of that was unhappiness in _our_ marriage and how much was unhappiness that he wasn't married to you. His feelings haven't changed since he was a teenager."

"So why did you say that I would know he wasn't husband material? Why attempt to _"warn"_ me when those emotions would benefit me?" Aria cocked an eyebrow. Everything Nicole had just told her pointed to the fact that Ezra had never gotten over her. Wouldn't that just mean that they had a greater chance of working out this time, especially with his newfound maturity level?

Nicole considered her words before speaking again, contorting her face into an expression of commiseration. "Maybe it will benefit you, but then again, there's a reason that you 2 broke up even before the pregnancy."

"Well, yeah, I was…" _Raped._ The word caught in the back of her throat, half out of shame, half out of the fact that her rapist was Nicole's baby daddy. Luckily, just as she stopped her sentence, the secretary's voice came through the speaker of the phone, cutting Aria off more naturally.

"Mrs. Fitz, your 4:30 is here to see you."

"I'll be right out," Nicole affirmed before picking up the receiver and setting it back down in the holder to end the interaction. "I have a client meeting. You should go."

"Right," Aria agreed, standing up. "Well…um, thanks for talking with me."

"Have a good day, Aria," Nicole cleared her throat as she attempted to stand up with her large belly getting in the way. Aria remembered those days all too well.

"You too, Nicole."

Line Break

Aria could hear Ezra and Sophie interacting in the apartment before she even opened the door. She picked up on Sophie's high pitched giggles and Ezra's bellowing cheers, though she couldn't quite make out exactly what he was saying. Once she opened the door, she was clued in on the intense game of _Mario Kart_ happening on her TV screen.

Sophie clutched a sideways Wii remote in her hands, as did Ezra. Funny thing was, Aria had never purchased a Wii system. When Ezra noticed the suspicious look in Aria's eyes, he quickly remedied her curiosity.

"I picked this up from Nicole's house on the way home from the Children's Museum. It's mine and I still have the key," He explained. "C'mon Soph! Go, go, go, go, go! Yes!" Ezra threw his hands in the air as the word _"Winner"_ showed up on Sophie's half of the screen. Sophie laughed, smiling from ear to ear. "This girl is killing this game. She says she's never played, but I think she was hustling me. She's won all but one game that we've played since we've been home."

He was so proud. All Sophie had done was win a few games of _Mario Kart_ and Ezra was doting on her like she'd just qualified for the Olympics. There was no denying that he loved that little girl. And suddenly, there was no denying that Aria loved that man. She wanted to be a family. She wanted this to work. There were no more doubts, no more fears. This is what she wanted.

"Ezra?" Aria called out weakly, her mouth dry from revelation.

"Yeah?" Ezra responded as he clicked away on his remote to find them a new game.

"Can you come here for a second?" Her voice nearly broke. Great, she was going to cry.

"Sure," Ezra handed his remote to Sophie as he began to stand up. "Soph, pick a course for us to play next."

He padded over to where Aria stood by the front door, immediately taking her hands in his. "Everything okay?"

"I love you," Aria blurted quietly before she could talk herself out of it.

Ezra's mouth fell open slightly at the same time a smile overtook his lips. He began shaking his head in disbelief and squeezing her hands so tight she thought she might lose circulation in her fingers. "You have no idea how much I've missed hearing you say that."

Before she could respond with some cheesy version of "you have no idea how much I've missed saying it to you," Ezra had pulled her in for a kiss. Their lips met and suddenly it felt like the past was erased. This…this was their chance to start over. A clean slate with no barriers in their minds, hearts, or lives. Well…almost no barriers.

This thought seemed to transmit between the couple's brains because as soon as they pulled away from their expression of passion, they both turned and looked at the little girl sitting on the couch, oblivious to the impact of the display before her, oblivious to the fact that she was the barrier.

But she wouldn't be for much longer.

 **A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Like I said earlier, this chapter underwent a lot of changes, but I feel good about the final product. Once again, sorry for making you wait so long for it. I have Thanksgiving break next week, so I'll try to post while I'm home because I'll actually have a curfew and will be spending a lot of time doing nothing. Maybe I'll post on Thanksgiving? Hopefully. Anyways, please leave me your thoughts and predictions in the reviews. I love hearing from you guys!**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: So this isn't a chapter, but it is an update – an explanation as to why it's been almost an entire month since I've updated. The past 4 weeks have gone NOHTING like I planned them too. I figured over Thanksgiving break I'd have a lot of spare time to write and it'd be easy to crank out an update. That wasn't the case at all. With only 5 days at home, I was spread thin between seeing my family, friends, and meeting a lot of my boyfriend's family. While writing is still super important to me, real people and real scenarios come first. After break, I came back with the least motivation to write that I've had in forever. It was almost as if I'd lost my passion. I wrote several rafts of the next chapter and I just couldn't get it right. I felt awful about not updating- and trust me, I still do. I hate that I have to explain myself instead of providing you with another update. But I figure it's better that you guys know what's going on.**

 **Fast forward a week, and something major happened that kind of stopped me in my tracks. My body's response was almost complete numbness and it got so bad that I couldn't even focus to study for tests. That feeling lasted for about a week. I was sick to my stomach and this story hit too close to home in that moment that I couldn't really think about it. Saturday rolled around an I felt a million times better. I even wrote a little over a thousand words. I thought I had my groove back and that I'd update Sunday or Monday (12/4-12/5). That night, I wound up in the ER with a 4mm kidney stone. I got home around midnight that night, thinking everything was fine. And then, something happened that I won't go into detail about that once again, stopped me in my tracks – worse than it had a week earlier. I was terrified and numb. Because of that fear, I didn't go to sleep until 4:45 that morning. I woke up around 7:40 with even worse kidney stone pain than I had had on Saturday. Once again, I wound up in the ER, this time for around 10 hours.**

 **The following week was finals week and full of constant reminders of what had happened to me early Sunday morning. It wasn't until today that I was able to breathe again and writing this story didn't feel like horrible foreshadowing.**

 **I plan to update before Christmas Eve. I know it's hard to take my word since I've been horrible for the past couple months, but I really, truly mean that. To those of you who have left, I am terribly sorry, but I understand. To those of you who have stayed, you mean more to me than you'll ever know. Things are finally settling down and I will start updating again. I just thought I'd let you know what has taken so long.**

 **I really appreciate your reviews and your concern. I love you guys. I will never abandon this story. It will be finished. I promise.**

 **I am so sorry for the wait. I've been in y'all's shoes and I know how it feels. It was never my intention to make you wait so long and I hope to God I never do this again.**

 **If you're still here, thank you. I'll be updating soon.**

 **Love y'all.**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	32. Chapter 32

_2007_

"C'mon Aria, you've got to eat something. You've lost weight. This isn't healthy."

If Aria had been keeping correct count, this was the 5th time that day that her mother had uttered those exact words. The only thing that was different about this time was the food she was offering.

Just as she had with the other things that Ella thrust towards her in hopes of getting her daughter to nibble on something other than her own finger nails, Aria scrunched up her nose and turned her head. "Neither is eating butterscotch candies from a glass bowl. That doesn't exactly constitute as lunch." The last word of her rather rude turn down of the offer was emphasized by the forceful sliding of the glass bowl back in Ella's direction.

Her actions screamed pouty three-year-old. Her words screamed sophisticated, yet pissed off teenager. Aria fully felt the latter, while Ella felt she was staring at the former. This was not how either of them wanted to spend their afternoon, the least they could do was _pretend_ to be each other's allies. However, it was clear that wasn't happening. Aria was too stubborn and Ella was too overbearing – though, both reasonably so.

While most teenagers would love any opportunity to skip school, they might all agree that sitting through calculus was better than sitting through a therapy session that immediately followed a meeting with a lawyer. Two hours of technical talk and "how does that make you feel?" type questions. It was all bullshit and Aria just wanted it to be over. She wanted to be normal again. To attend a full day of school on Tuesday's. To not be stared at when she walked down the hall and whispered about as she passed by herds of girls. To have her clothes fit properly, because as much as she wanted to deny her mother's concern, she couldn't help but notice that the stress had gotten to her and made her loose weight. Nothing fit right anymore. Nothing felt right anymore. Not since Halloween.

The whole goddamn town knew what had happened to her that fateful night. It started as a rumor that lilted through the party after Liam was seen fleeing the house with a bloodied nose and his clothes in hand. The rumors intensified when someone walked in on a bruised and bloodied Ezra holding a sobbing, limp, partially naked Aria in the bedroom where it had happened. They peeked when someone called 9-1-1 and the cops came to take statements. By the time the sun rose the following morning, every kid who'd attended the party knew what had happened. By midday, their parents were made aware. And by nightfall, all of Rosewood was in on what Aria had desperately wanted to keep a secret.

Ella and Byron finding out was possibly the worst thing about this whole situation. Not only had they wanted to know every detail, most of which Aria couldn't even remember due to the date rape drug she'd consumed, but they wanted Liam's head on a platter and Aria locked away in a tower until the deed was done. But now that it looked like _that_ wasn't going to happen, Aria felt as if her parents would never let up on the reins she'd once had so much control over.

And if Aria couldn't have control of most of her daily activities anymore, she had to find something else to control…like her eating and terrible sleep schedule.

It almost looked like Ella was going to respond to Aria's bitchy remark right before Aria's therapist, Dr. Ann Sullivan, opened up her office door and invited her inside. Never had Aria been more grateful for the start of her session and Dr. Sullivan's incredible will to keep exactly on schedule.

Dr. Sullivan's office was large and modern with brick walls and exposed pipes above their heads. If the space didn't hear so many sob stories and shallow attempts to get to know patients, Aria could see herself one day offering the woman money to live in this lofted room. As an unmarried woman with no kids, she wouldn't need much room. This would be perfect for the 7 to 8 years she'd spent out of high school before settling down and having kids. But then again, she'd stay in Rosewood over her dead body.

Aria knew those weren't the kind of thoughts she should be having as shuffled into the room behind her therapist. She should be thinking of topics she wanted to discuss with the older woman, certain points she absolutely had to touch on, and others that they could talk about if time permitted. Though, she supposed her thoughts of her future living arrangements were better than the judgmental ones she had of those who laid on the tear stained white couch before her.

Once Aria had taken her seat, she watched Dr. Sullivan fiddle around with her file in the chair across from her for a few long seconds, before sighing, signaling the start of the session.

"So, Aria," Dr. Sullivan started, the lines around her mouth crinkling as she gave the softest of smiles – a tactic in which Aria assumed was one to gain her trust. "How has your week been? I know last week you said that Liam was supposed to come back to school this week. How did that go?"

Aria inwardly flinched. She couldn't stand hearing that bastards name, but she knew that if she showed her discomfort, these therapy sessions would go on way longer than she wanted them to, so she kept her feelings to herself and instead just shrugged her shoulders. "It went."

"Does him being back at school make you uncomfortable? Does it interfere with your learning?"

"I try not to think about him," Aria muttered. "The school's big enough that I don't have to see him everywhere I turn." That was the truth, but not all of it.

She'd walked past Liam a two times in the two days that he'd been back in school. When she has anatomy, Liam has psychology, and unfortunately, those classes are in hallways opposite each other. It would be impossible not to see him after the bell rang dismissing them from their classes. But Aria figured the best way to deal with it was to keep her head down and move quickly. Liam wouldn't engage her if she didn't engage him – he'd been instructed by his lawyer to keep his distance. That rule was part of what allowed him to receive absolutely no repercussions for his actions. Stay away from Aria, stay free of jail time or community service.

However, physically staying away from her was not enough to keep Liam from invading her thoughts. Before Halloween, Aria had mostly A's. Her only B was in calculus, but even that was something to be celebrated considering how bad she was at math. Now, Aria was only able to maintain 2 A's, in English and theatre. Everything else had slipped at least one letter grade. Math took the cake by slipping 3. She was failing and she had no motivation to save her grade.

"Okay," Dr. Sullivan nodded as she scribbled something down into Aria's file. "How'd that big math test you had on Friday go?" She spoke with a smile on her face, but her tone sounded weary. Last time she'd asked a question like that Aria had lied and said she made a B. She then challenged Aria to bring her test in so she could see it, forcing Aria to come clean and reveal that she had not received a B, but rather, an F. A 28 to be exact.

"I got a D," Aria mumbled. This time, she was telling the truth.

"That's better than last time," Dr. Sullivan grinned. "Are you starting to understand more again?"

Aria shrugged, "I think I just got lucky."

"Alright," Dr. Sullivan sighed, trying her best to conceal what looked to be an eye roll. "How did the meeting with your lawyer go? Any new developments?"

It was Aria's turn to sigh. When anybody else asked those questions, Aria could respond with, "I've been told not to discuss anything with anyone other than my lawyer." It was true and it always worked. It got her friends and Ezra to stop breathing down her neck, although it pissed them off to no end. She knew it had to be frustrating not knowing what was going on in their best friend's life, but _legally_ she couldn't say anything. And even if she could, she wouldn't. Recounting the boring and frustrating details that she heard her lawyer spill every week since Halloween was enough to make her want to jump out of a window.

However, there was one exception to this rule and she was sitting right across from it. Due to patient confidentiality agreements, Aria was allowed and, in fact, encouraged to talk about whatever boring jargon she heard within the walls of her lawyer's office. Both Dr. Sullivan and Ted, the lawyer who she had to call Mr. O'Riley to his face, told Aria that given the upsetting nature of her case, it might be best to let out her emotions on her therapist's couch. There was just one problem: Aria didn't want to talk about it.

"No," Aria shook her head slowly. "Same as last week. Liam's getting no community service or jail time. He's back at school. That's pretty much it."

She was angry that that was all there was to say. She wished she could say that he'd at least be facing expulsion from school. But she couldn't and that made her shake with something red hot. Still, she didn't want to talk about it. She'd write about it though. She did write about it. And she'd made a silent vow that when she became a world renowned journalist, she'd expose Liam and all others who'd gotten away with such a horrible violation of a woman. Nothing was going to stand in her way.

"I spoke with Mr. O'Riley on the phone earlier and he mentioned that your parents wanted to file a restraining order against Mr. Greene. Is that still happening?" Dr. Sullivan arched an eyebrow, while Aria rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Yes, it's still happening," She huffed.

"Do you think that will make you feel safer and more secure at school and in Rosewood?"

 _Not really._ "Sure," Aria let her eyes flutter shut in annoyance.

"Aria- "

"Can we talk about something else?" Aria's eyes snapped open again and her hands found a place in front of her, as if they could block any retort Dr. Sullivan could come up with. "Really, I'm tried of talking about my _case_. It's all anyone ever wants to talk about."

Aria slumped back onto the couch, realizing she'd revealed a little too much about what was going on inside of her head while Dr. Sullivan was asking her tedious questions. Damn, the woman was good at her job.

"Whatever you want, Aria," Dr. Sullivan's shoulders fell a little, showing that she was proud of herself for getting Aria to open up, though it wasn't much. "Um…" She stalled as she looked through Aria's file. "Ah, last week you mentioned that your boyfriend…Ezra, was annoying you by _talking_ about your case too much. Have you resolved that issue with him?"

If Dr. Sullivan was going to be proud of anything she accomplished with Aria, it should be the fact that she got Aria to reveal her relationship with Ezra.

It had been a slip up on Aria's part. She mentioned that her _boyfriend_ wouldn't stop asking questions about her meetings with lawyers and trying to get her to open up. After that, Aria figured there was no turning back and gave up his name and amount of time they'd been dating. In a way, it felt nice to finally tell an adult about her relationship and get advice from someone who'd had a relationship or two herself – not that she'd ever admit that.

However, even though Aria had been somewhat happy and willing to talk about Ezra last week, this week, she was singing a different tune. Aside from her case, Ezra was the last thing she wanted to talk about.

"We broke up," Aria whispered quickly, as if saying it faster had the Band-Aid effect: the quicker you pull it off the less it hurts. It didn't.

"You did?" Dr. Sullivan gasped. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Who…who initiated the break up? Or was it mutual?"

"It wasn't mutual," Aria shook her head. "I…I um…broke up with him."

"How'd he take it?"

Aria opened her mouth to respond, but instantly closed it again. She figured that the words "broke up" were too strong. They hadn't really "broken up" for good. She'd simply asked for her space and he agreed to give it to her. Really, they were taking a break, but planned to get back together when she was ready to be in a relationship again. It was just all too much at the moment. She needed to focus on herself and her healing. She couldn't worry about sappy goodnight texts and showing Ezra affection.

In the moment, he'd taken it well. There wasn't a whole lot of fight from his end. He said he understood and that he'd still be there for her if she needed him. They'd texted that night like they usually did, but instead of sending long, mushy "I love you" messages just before they fell asleep, they'd each simply said, "goodnight." She'd gone to bed thinking everything was going to be okay. But then she woke up the next morning.

It had been 5 days since she and Ezra had last spoken. She wasn't sure they'd ever gone that long without talking in their lives. It killed her, but she'd asked for space, so she couldn't be the one to reach out. She just had to wait until she was fully ready to date again before extending a message to the guy she loved more than anything.

Seeing him at school was hard. They had classes together and he couldn't even look at her without looking like he was going to cry. She didn't understand. He'd seemed so okay with the idea of taking a break. He'd been fine that night. What changed? She couldn't ask.

"He's…not talking to me anymore," Aria croaked, feeling a lump instantly form in her throat.

"How are you taking it?" Dr. Sullivan leaned forward as if she was full of genuine concern.

"I've been better," Aria shrugged. "But it's for the best."

Dr. Sullivan nodded, "Break ups are always hard, especially when the couple was together for as long as you two were. But you'll both find happiness again. It'll just take time."

"Yeah," Aria nodded.

She knew Dr. Sullivan was right. _Everything_ she was going through in the moment was going to take time to heal. She would find happiness again, but for the moment, she was at a loss. She knew that one day, she'd truly smile again. She wouldn't feel ashamed walking down the halls of her high school. She wouldn't be _as_ scared of a guy she'd gone to school with for years. She would be with her love again. She'd want to hang out with her friends again. No one would want to talk about what happened to her. Things would be normal again. One day.

 **A/N: So I'm not thrilled with the ending here. It felt a bit abrupt, but it was the best I could do for the time being. However, overall, I'm pleased with the chapter. There's just something about being home that makes me a better writer.**

 **I want to thank you guys for your patience. It means the world to me. I hope that this chapter was at least a little worth the wait. I know it's filler. It was always going to be filler, but I hope this was at least interesting filler. Let me know what you thought by reviewing! Your reviews on my last "update" were so uplifting and sweet. I love you guys.**

 **With the holidays being here, I can't promise an update within a few days, but trust me, you won't have to wait another month. My goal is to post again before New Years, which is a little over a week away.**

 **Thank you guys so much for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	33. Chapter 33

_Previously in 2016…_

 _This…this was their chance to start over. A clean slate with no barriers in their minds, hearts, or lives. Well…almost no barriers._

 _This thought seemed to transmit between the couple's brains because as soon as they pulled away from their expression of passion, they both turned and looked at the little girl sitting on the couch, oblivious to the impact of the display before her, oblivious to the fact that she was the barrier._

 _But she wouldn't be for much longer._

 _2016_

Sophie hadn't spoken to either of them in 3 days.

She was angry. She had every right to be.

She was currently packing her bags to in order to assist her plea to go live with Ella. Aria had half a mind to let her.

 _"Sophie, sit down. Ezra and I have something to tell you."_

Ezra had kept his distance, only coming around at night once Sophie was asleep. With school having started again, that arrangement was made easy. All he needed to do was stay at Rosewood High School until about 7 o'clock, go have dinner by himself, then show up at Aria's front door a little after 9. But easy didn't mean wanted. It killed him staying away like that. It killed him that his daughter resented him and refused to say anything to him. And it killed Aria too.

 _"Before we begin, we want you to know that we both love you more than anything and that the only reason we haven't said anything before today was because…well we just didn't know how to without hurting you. But we are so so sorry and hope that you'll hear us out."_

 _"Do I have to go in the hospital or something?"_

 _"No. God, no."_

 _"Then what's going on?"_

Ella knew now. She knew about Aria and Ezra's relationship. She knew how they began talking again. She knew that Ezra was Sophie's real father. Sophie had called her on the landline 2 nights ago and told her everything, whilst begging to go live with her. Aria, who'd been listening in on the house phone she had in her bedroom, could practically see Ella shaking her head on the other end of the line as she told Sophie that she couldn't take her in. She could hear the disappointment in Ella's voice that she tried to hide from her granddaughter. Like Sophie, Ella wasn't too happy about the news either.

 _"A little over 8 years ago…Ezra and I dated and…well, we did the thing that mommies and daddies do when they want to have a baby. But, a few weeks before, I'd done the same thing with your…Matt."_

 _"Dad?"_

 _"Um…anyway, when I got pregnant with you…I didn't know who your father was. It could've been either Ezra or…"_

 _"How can you not know?"_

 _"I don't…that part is complicated."_

Aria had scheduled coffee with her mom that coming Saturday. She knew she needed to explain everything more in depth than her daughter had. But figuring out exactly how to phrase the situation that had spanned 8-years in a way that would not only make her mother understand, but that would make her accept it, was one of the last things on her mind. First and foremost, she needed to make things right with the little girl who was currently trying to stuff her 9th stuffed animal into her tiny "Monster High" suitcase.

It had been a long day for the both of them. The tension between them was draining enough on its own. Throwing an 8-hour school day and a bout of coughing that Aria knew was grounds for a round of oral antibiotics into the mix had exhausted the 2 girls.

The only thing keeping Aria semi-sane was Ezra's sweet texts he'd sent throughout the day, checking up on her and reassuring everything was going to work out. She knew this was hard on him too, so the fact that he'd even taken the time to tell a feel-good lie at all made her heart melt.

But as nice as that was, she still hated the fact that she couldn't go home immediately after work and curl up in his arms. She wouldn't be allowed to feel his touch until hours after the sun went down and Sophie had drifted into a dream state.

They'd waited several weeks after Aria's spontaneous proclamation of her love for Ezra to tell Sophie the truth about her father and mommy's new boyfriend. Without accounting for the underlying stress about the inevitable conversation, the couple had spent those weeks in almost total bliss – with the exception of the time Ezra left his dirty clothes on Aria's bedroom floor even after being asked several times to put them in the laundry hamper. That had nearly earned him a night on the couch.

Things had been going well. The conversations got longer and deeper. The same went for the kisses. The snuggles became more frequent and each touch lingered for an eternity.

They were occupying the same bed almost every night. The pillow wall had come down, allowing Ezra to freely wrap his arms around Aria as they slept. Everything felt nice. Right. Everything was perfect.

And then they told Sophie the truth.

 _"I don't understand. What are you trying to tell me?"_

 _"I…when you were born, I looked into those big, beautiful blue eyes of yours and I knew that…those weren't Matt's eyes."_

 _"Dad's eyes."_

 _"Your eyes…they're the same color as Ezra's."_

A pot of untouched mac 'n' cheese sat on the stove. It was one of Sophie's favorite foods. Aria was hoping that would trick her into coming out of her bedroom and having a sit down meal. It hadn't. Instead, it had only intensified the anger in both mother and daughter.

Sophie had tried to take the bowl she'd quietly made for herself into her room. Aria stopped her. Sophie tried to run. Aria blocked her bedroom door and asked her semi-politely to sit down at the table. Sophie made a noise that resembled screaming and shook her head violently. Aria raised her voice and told her to sit her ass in a chair or she could forget about eating tonight. Sophie dropped her bowl onto the floor before running into her room and slamming the door shut. Aria was left fuming and with a mess to clean.

A little over 20 minutes had gone by since that event transpired. Aria knew the mac 'n' cheese was getting cold, but she didn't care to reheat it or scoop it into Tupperware to make leftovers. She just left it sitting on the unlit burner while she sat curled up in a ball in one of the dining room chairs. The only lit coming from the "poor-man's chandelier" hanging above the table, with 6 of it's 8 lights burnt out. The situation truly was as sad as it looked.

 _"You said they came from daddy's side of the family."_

 _"That's what I wanted to believe, but…"_

 _"But what?"_

 _"But I knew I was only lying to myself. For 3 years, I lied to myself. And for the past 8 years, I've lied to you."_

The clock on the wall ticked from 7:43 to 7:44, and as if it was some sort of cue, there was a knock at the door.

Aria's heart dropped. It could be 1 of 2 people. Ella or Ezra. In all honesty, she hoped it was neither. If it was Ella, it meant that Aria would have to face that ordeal now instead of later. She could only imagine what kinds of accusations and disappointed head shakes her mother would throw her way. Not to mention, Sophie would probably come out of her room to scream-beg Ella to take her away from a mother who'd lied to her for 8 years. Aria had cried enough the first time Sophie had screamed at her and called her a bad mom. She didn't need to relive similar events.

If it was Ezra, he was early and Aria didn't really want to know why. He'd proposed crazy schemes to win Sophie over the night before, all of which Aria had dismissed as bad ideas. However, she wouldn't put it past him to ignore her and try them anyway.

A glance through the peep hole gave Aria no peace of mind. If anything, it made her want to _not_ open the door all the more. But considering she shared her location with Ezra via iMessage, she couldn't pretend she wasn't home. The little dot that bore her name would betray her anyway.

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"Sophie…after Matt died – "_

 _"Stop saying Matt. He's my dad. Say dad."_

 _"I can't."_

 _"Why not?"_

 _"Sophie, please, just hear your mother out and stop interrupting."_

 _"No."_

 _"Sophie."_

 _"I don't have to listen to you."_

 _"Sophie, that's not very nice. And you do have to listen to Ezra."_

 _"How come? He's not my dad."_

 _"Actually…"_

"I come bearing gifts," was the first thing Ezra said when Aria opened the door – as if it wasn't obvious enough.

"I see that," Aria crossed her arms over her chest as she watched Ezra fumble in with 2 very full bags of what she supposed were goodies for their child. "Why?"

"We need to mend the bridge that Sophie is currently trying to burn to the ground. Presents are a good way to do that," Ezra set the begs down before turning to Aria, breathless and with a goofy grin on his face. It was like he thought he'd just fixed the whole problem. It was like he assumed that Aria hadn't thought of bribery herself.

"You want to bribe our daughter into speaking to us? No," Aria shook her head as she relocked the front door. "That's a temporary fix to a problem that's probably going to require sending her to therapy." In the heat of her sentence, therapy had been a joke. But once it had time to settle into the air around them, she realized that finding someone Sophie could talk to about this fucked up situation might be their best chance at her ever having a normal relationship with her parents again.

That seemed to click with Ezra too. His expression changed from spunky to thoughtful for the shortest amount of time before she shrugged and continued his push for delivering the bags of toys like Santa Claus. "Well, even if therapy is the answer, we can't exactly drag her out of the apartment kicking and screaming, now can we? We need to at least place a Band-Aid over this giant crack we've managed to cause in her life."

Aria didn't nod, nor did she shake her head. She simply tilted her nose upwards once and slowly made her way towards her boyfriend to take a look inside the bags he'd lugged inside.

 _"After Matt died, I decided to do a DNA test on you. Your eyes just always…I had to know for sure."_

 _"A DNA test? Wh..."_

 _"Matt isn't your father. Ezra is."_

In one bag, several rectangular boxes that were undeniably Barbie products were packed inside rather strategically. From what Aria could make out, he'd purchased Soccer Coach Barbie, Gymnastics Barbie, and K.C. Undercover Barbie, along with a Barbie convertible and what appeared to be extra clothing for the new additions. That bag alone had to cost around $100.

In the other bag sat a large teddy bear holding a plush heart that read 'I Love You' and a card sealed in an envelope that was, of course, addressed to Sophie. Aria could only imagine what Ezra had written on the inside.

"Ezra…" Aria sighed. "This is insanely sweet, but it's also insane. Sophie's not dumb. She'll know what you're trying to do."

"I don't care," Ezra waved a hand dismissively as he took a tentative seat on the back of Aria's couch. "What else am I supposed to do? What else are _we_ supposed to do? She can't stay mad forever."

Aria laughed despite herself, "Maybe not forever, but quite possibly until she's 30."

Ezra rolled his eyes, knowing Aria was exaggerating greatly. Sophie was a kid. She'd come around sooner rather than later, but the wait for her forgiveness would be unbearable.

"I'm going to knock on her door now," Ezra stood up and grabbed the bags with nervous fists.

"Good luck," Aria huffed before shuffling into the kitchen. This bribery wasn't hers to deal with. If Ezra failed, which she figured he would, she'd at least be removed from another yelling match. If Ezra somehow succeeded in his shallow attempts to win back their daughter, Aria would join them in Sophie's bedroom when she felt it was appropriate. While she waited for a verdict, she decided to do something useful and put away _her_ failed attempt at making peace – the mac 'n' cheese.

 _"You're lying."_

 _"I'm not."_

 _"Then you're joking."_

 _"Sophie, please. This isn't a lie, nor a joke."_

 _"Then what is it?"_

 _"The truth. Soph, I know this must be hard…"_

 _"I don't believe you."_

 _"I know this is a lot to wrap your head around and that it probably doesn't make sense at all, but Soph, we aren't lying. Ezra is – "_

 _"I don't believe it. Why would you lie to me? Why would you not tell me? Why...why wasn't Ezra around when I was little. Dad's are supposed to be around when you're little. But he wasn't…"_

 _"Soph…"_

 _"You're lying. You have to be lying. If you aren't, then this isn't fair. What about dad? Huh? What about daddy? That's my real daddy. Not Ezra."_

 _"Sophie, Matt loved you so much, but…I got it wrong. He wasn't your biological father. Ezra is. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, but I - "_

 _"Why are you doing this to me? Why are you lying? Just tell me you're lying. This isn't fair. You have to be joking. Please…tell me you're joking. I want my real daddy. I don't want Ezra. Tell me Ezra isn't my dad. I want_ my _dad. Tell me you're lying."_

 _"I can't do that, Soph. I'm sorry."_

 _"I don't believe you! I won't believe you! How could you lie to me? How could you? Why would you lie? Answer me!"_

The weight of Ezra's fist against Sophie's door seemed to transfer to the pit of Aria's stomach, making her insides pulsate with each hit.

"Sophie? Can I please come in? I have something for you," Ezra cooed, using his best 'fatherly' voice.

As Aria expected, there was no answer. However, there was some rustling and after a moment, the clicking sound of a door being unlocked rang in both of their ears. Aria's heart sped up in her chest. Ezra looked like he was going to vomit.

When the door didn't open from the other side, Ezra stuck out his hand and turned the knob himself. Aria waited a moment to make sure there would be no screaming, before peering around the corner just in time to see Ezra scooting the bags over the threshold and hear a small voice say, "Close the door behind you." The thought was cliché, but Aria had honestly felt like she'd forgotten what Sophie's voice sounded like and just hearing it once, hushed as it was, allowed Aria to breathe a sigh of relief. This wasn't necessarily a step forward, but it was a scoot.

As quietly as her 26-year-old body allowed her to move (her bones only seemed to pop when she wanted to be stealthy), Aria tip toed over to the wall outside of Sophie's door and took a seat. There was no way she was missing out on the conversation that would be taking place inside.

 _"It's really complicated sweetie, but if you'll just sit back down, Ezra and I…"_

 _"it shouldn't be complicated. Ezra shouldn't be my dad. I don't want him to be my dad! And I don't want you to be my mom! I don't want a liar for a mom! I hate you!"_

"Hey, how's it going?" Ezra's voice was as tender as a newborn's touch.

"Are those for me?"' Sophie answered his question with one of her own. Progress.

Aria could practically hear Ezra nod as he said, "They are."

There was a bit of a silence. Aria assumed that was because Sophie was inspecting her gifts and passing quick judgment, deciding if this conversation was worth continuing or not. She was let in on Sophie's mental decision when she heard the little girl say, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Can we talk?"

Once again, silence filled the apartment. Sophie was contemplating her answer, mouth probably scrunched to the side like it always was when she was thinking long and hard about something.

Aria drummed her fingers on the rug where mac 'n' cheese had been spilled earlier as she awaited her child's answer.

A cough broke the heavy silence first, but words followed immediately after. "I know what you're going to say."

"Do you now?" The way in which Ezra spoke indicated that he'd risen an eyebrow. Aria laughed to herself. She knew him too well.

Sophie took a minute to respond while she made shuffling noises, presumably moving further away from the door and taking a seat on her bed. The small squeak of a box spring confirmed her movements to Aria.

"You're going to say that I need to start talking to you and mom again." Sophie's voice was a whisper. It was almost as if she knew Aria was sitting outside of her door and eaves dropping on their conversation.

"You hit the nail on the head," Ezra confirmed gently. "But do you know why I think you need to start talking with us again?"

Sophie didn't answer, but when Aria heard Ezra draw in a breath as he prepared to speak again, she knew Sophie's retort had been nonverbal. She'd merely shaken her head and shrugged.

"Keeping whatever you're feeling bottled up inside of you isn't healthy. Just like…not doing your breathing treatments or taking your medicine isn't healthy for your body, not talking about what's bothering you isn't healthy for your mind." Aria was impressed with Ezra's explanation of the effects of repression. It was smooth and effortless, as if he'd practiced it before saying it. Perhaps he had.

"I know you're probably feeling pretty sad. Mad. Upset. Maybe you don't know what to feel. But, your mom and I…if you talk to us, we can help you feel better. We can maybe explain…"

"I don't want to talk to you," Sophie interrupted.

Aria furrowed her brow. She knew Sophie hadn't meant what she'd said in a literal, in the moment way. She seemed open to having the current conversation with Ezra. However, her tone indicated that she wasn't feeling all that comfortable talking about the feelings that getting a "new" father brought about to her parents – and that thought alone broke Aria's heart. She never wanted her little girl to feel like she _couldn't_ talk to her about anything. She'd always imagined them to have this open, trusting relationship. Yet she wasn't surprised. The bomb that Aria had just dropped on Sophie would cause damage that would take years to repair. The trust between them was gone. And that was all Aria's fault.

 _"Sophie, you don't hate your mother."_

 _"I do, too! I hate her! I hate you! I hate stupid liars! I don't want either of you to be my parents!"_

 _"You don't mean that."_

 _"I do! I don't want to live in this house. I want to go live with grandma…that is, if she's even my real grandma!"_

 _"She's my mother, Sophie. Of course she's your real grandma."_

 _"How do I know? You could be lying about that too! Did dad know you were a liar?"_

 _"Matt loved you just like any father would love his daughter…"_

 _"That's not what I asked."_

 _"Soph, I'm just trying to explain – "_

 _"I don't care!"_

 _"Please – "_

 _"Stop talking to me! I don't want to talk to_ you _ever again!"_

"Will you talk to someone, though? Not me or your mom, but…someone?" Ezra's voice interrupted Aria's pity party and brought her back to her current reality.

There was a faint popping noise that sounded remotely like Sophie cracking her knuckles, a nervous habit that she'd picked up from her Aunty Spencer. If that was the case, Aria could conclude that Sophie didn't know how to answer the question she was asked. Once again, Aria could feel her heart breaking for her child.

"I don't know," Sophie finally muttered.

"It's okay not to know right now. But I want you to think about it, okay? And if you decide that you want to talk about it tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, or on your wedding day, we'll find you someone to talk to, okay?"

The more Ezra spoke, the more impressed Aria was. It was as if he'd studied Dr. Phil intensely before coming over and initiating this talk. Silly as it was, she made a mental note to ask if he in fact had later that night.

"Okay," Sophie sighed.

"But in the meantime, I think you should practice talking by saying a few words to your mom and I every now and then." Aria could hear the smirk behind Ezra's words.

"Do I have to?" The little girl whined, causing Aria to do a smirk of her own. No matter how much changed in Sophie's life, the one thing that wouldn't change for years was the fact that she was still a child. And like all children, Sophie complained when she got a response she wasn't too keen on. Aria was anxious to hear how Ezra handled it. What had Dr. Phil taught him about normal, discontent children?

"I think you should," Ezra responded thoughtfully.

"Do I have to say I'm sorry for not talking to you guys for the past couple of days?" Sophie mumbled.

" _Are_ you sorry?" A question that could have come across as an accusation or a guilt trip, instead came across as genuine. And like Ezra, Aria genuinely wanted to know.

"No," Sophie said rather bluntly and without hesitation. "I only did what I did because you and mom lied to me."

Ezra sighed. Aria could visualize his eyes fluttering shut with knowledge that their daughter was right. They both deserved the silent treatment – really, they deserved worse. Sophie had taken it easy on them. She could've run away, but she'd only _asked_ to go live with Ella. She could've acted out at school, but instead, she'd taken on a somewhat normal, childish persona around her friends and saved the silent and angry treatment solely for her parents. While the "I'm not talking to you" gag could be seen as immature, the way Sophie was handling the situation and herself was mature beyond her years. So yes, Aria and Ezra deserved worse. Sophie deserved more. And she certainly didn't need to be sorry.

"Well…" Ezra started. "Have you eaten?"

The bed creaked as Sophie shook her head, rather vigorously Aria assumed. "No. Mom made mac 'n' cheese, but…I didn't eat any of it."

Ezra laughed lightly, "Then how about you go ask your mom for some of that mac 'n' cheese?"

"But…I think that mom's mad at me," Sophie whimpered.

"I think she'll get over it once she hears your beautiful voice again," The wink in Ezra's tone was prominent.

The bed creaked again and there was a shuffling sound behind the door, cuing Aria to move quickly away from the door and onto the couch to act as if she hadn't been listening the whole time. The quiet snort she heard from Ezra once the door opened told her that he was on to her previous whereabouts. However, the tentative and small hand that reached out to get her attention let her know that Sophie had no idea that her mother overheard the exchange that just took place in her bedroom.

"Mom?" Sophie whispered.

Aria turned her head, feigning surprise at her daughter's emergence. "Yeah, baby?" She smiled. She couldn't help it.

"Can I have that mac 'n' cheese now?" Sophie wouldn't make eye contact, but the fact that she was even talking to Aria was a start. "I'm hungry now."

Aria's shoulders shook from silent giggles as she shook her head. "Of course, sweetheart. Let me go heat it up. You go wash your hands."

The shadow of a smile ghosted Sophie's lips before she turned on her heels and scurried into the bathroom to do as her mother said.

Once Sophie was out of sight, Aria locked eyes with Ezra, raising an eyebrow and silently asking how in the world Ezra got Sophie to talk almost effortlessly and in such a short amount of time. He grinned and shook his head before whispering, "She's 8. She couldn't keep it up for long. She was about to break, the Barbie's and teddy bear just broke her faster."

There was something cynical and humorous, yet truthful in Ezra's words that caused Aria to nod her head. In all honesty, Aria didn't care _how_ Ezra did it, it was just the fact that he _had_ at all. She'd been starting to lose hope of them ever being a normal family. And while having a bowl of mac 'n' cheese was not exactly a white flag on Sophie's part, it was a dim light at the end of the long tunnel ahead of them.

 _"Soph, don't say that."_

 _"I can say whatever I want! You're a liar! Ezra's not my father! I don't want to be apart of this family! I hate you both!"_

In less than 10 minutes, Sophie's dinner was ready and she was seated the table…along with Ezra and Aria. There wasn't any talking, but a few smiles were exchanged between cheesy bites. Ezra reached out and grabbed Aria's hand underneath the table. It was subtle enough to hide from Sophie, but meaningful enough to let Aria know he was thinking the same things she was.

This was the beginning of the family they'd always wanted.

It would take some work, but things looked like they would finally fall into place. Just like they should've 8 years ago.

 **A/N: Sorry for the late update. Two words: holiday season. But things have calmed down and I've found a renewed love and passion for writing again. I'm so happy and so excited to crank out the final chapter of this story. I don't know how many chapter are left exactly because I haven't written it out, but I do know what each chapter will contain from here on out and I cannot wait for you guys to find out what happens.**

 **As always, please leave a review to let me know your thoughts and predictions. Your words always make my day and motivate me.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will be updating soon. I don't want to give an exact day because you all know how horrible I've been about keeping that promise lately, but I will promise an update within the next 7-10 days, maybe even sooner.**

 **Thank you guys for reading! Love you!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	34. Chapter 34

_2007-2008_

This wasn't a party. It was a kickback. And even if it was a party, Aria wasn't drinking. She'd taken on the responsibility of being the "mom" of the evening – getting people water when they'd had a little too much to drink, holding her friends' hair back if they vomited. Everything was going to be okay. _She_ was going to be okay. This wasn't a party. She wasn't drinking. She was safe.

It had taken a lot of convincing to get Aria too attend the small gathering that night. Copious amounts of pleading and begging and bribing went in to convincing Aria to just show her face to the group of maybe 15 kids that were all packed into Hanna's living room. Several cliché arguments that included the phrases, "the only way to conquer your fears is to get back out there" and "you can't let what happened on Halloween dictate the rest of your life", and a few low blows that referenced her recent break up with Ezra left her friends' lips and bounced around in Aria's head until she eventually caved, on the condition that they allow her to stay sober – no offering alcohol, no pressuring her into conforming.

Aria had thought that _maybe, just maybe_ the casualness of the environment and the drunken distractions would be enough to trick her into having a good time. She could converse with other sober friends and designated drivers, nurse a soda or two, and feel the slightest rush as the clock hit midnight and the New Year rolled in, washing away all of the shit that had occurred in the last part of 2007. But here she was, 10 minutes to midnight, sitting alone on the couch, talking to no one, and in desperate need of a drink refill.

Everything felt wrong. She wanted to blame it on the uneasy feelings caused by the insane amount of mixed drinks and shots that surrounded her. She wanted to blame it on the myth that she just wasn't ready to get back out there after what had happened to her on Halloween. But she knew better.

She missed Ezra. All of their friends were there having fun and anxiously awaiting the New Year, knowing that it would bring things such as prom, graduation, and the start of college. Not having Ezra there made the night feel unreal. Like it wasn't really New Years and that things weren't really going to get better at the stroke of midnight.

Aria had concocted scenarios in her mind, explanations and excuses as to why Ezra wasn't there that night. His family had forced him to stay home. He had to look after Wes. He got called in to work. He was feeling under the weather. Though, she knew none of those were true. His family had never _forced_ him to stay home before. Wes was old enough to take care of himself for a night. Chili's wasn't open this late on New Year's Eve…or ever. And he'd been fine earlier that day at school.

Ezra was actively avoiding Aria.

The thought hurt her heart and angered her all the same. They'd spent every New Year's together since they were babies. She couldn't believe that he was going to break their unofficial tradition just because she'd ended things with him _for the time being._ It hadn't even been a permanent break up. They were just taking a break while Aria got her footing back at a normal life. Things hadn't been messy. Neither of them had been rude. But tonight, it was clear that Ezra was interpreting their break to mean more than it had.

She supposed she could put herself in his shoes and realize that maybe it killed him to see her hurting and not be able to do anything to comfort her. Maybe he knew that if they talked, they wouldn't be able to deny the chemistry and passion that still stirred in their hearts. Maybe he thought this was what was best _for her._

But Aria didn't want to seriously consider any of that. For the time being, it was easier to just be angry.

"Hey, can I sit here or are you saving it for someone?" The voice of Matt Callahan pulled Aria back to reality, startling her slightly, but also causing her stomach to do a flip. It was an odd wave of emotion that delayed a coherent reaction.

Eventually, she nodded and said, "Go ahead."

When Matt sat down, the weight shifter in the cushions, lifting Aria by a millimeter or two and sinking him by the same margin. This was the one and only time that a 5'2 Aria would ever be close to the same height as 6'1 lacrosse star Matt.

There was no conversation between the two for a prolonged minute. They weren't friends. They were barely acquaintances. It felt awkward and Aria's palms were growing sweatier by the second.

Finally, Matt cleared his throat and nodded towards the empty solo cup in Aria's hand, "Do you need a refill? I can go get you something. What were you drinking?"

"Oh, no," Aria shook her head rapidly. "I don't…let anyone get me drinks anymore." The statement sounded small and meek as it left her lips, which was the opposite of her original intention. She'd wanted to sound strong when she said her knew "party policy". She wanted to appear as if she wasn't still as shaken up about the events of two months ago as she was, but truth be told, she wasn't sure there would ever come a day where she _wasn't_ still weary of a seemingly decent guy with a simple question.

"Right," Matt's cheeks turned impossibly red. "That makes sense. How are you…how are you doing, by the way?"

Aria let her eyes flutter shut and a fragile smile overtake her lips. The real answer was, "I'm scared of everything, but I'm managing." The _right_ answer was, "I'm okay," and that's the one she went with.

"Aria, I'm really – "

"Look," Aria cut Matt off with a gentle, yet stern voice. "I know that we aren't friends and talking about what happened on Halloween is, weird as it is to say, a conversation starter, but honestly, I'd rather sit in awkward silence than talk about that night. So can we change the subject or just…not talk?" The request made Aria's insides heat up. She'd never been so direct when she was upset. She wasn't the confrontational type. Usually, she let things roll off of her shoulders and smiled all the while. But she hadn't properly smiled in months and she wasn't about to start now.

"Sure," Matt shrugged. "How's Ezra?"

The question almost made Aria laugh. He just went from one sore subject to another. This was going well.

"We're taking a break, so I wouldn't know," Aria scrunched her mouth into a tiny line and widened her eyes, stretching her arms out, palms on her knees.

"Wow, I'm sorry," Matt chuckled despite himself. "I'm bad at this flirting thing."

Aria nearly snorted, nearly went into cardiac arrest, and nearly fainted all in about half a second. She wasn't exactly shocked. Rumors of Matt's crush on Aria had been floating around for years, but Aria had never really pictured herself with him. It was reasonable to consider that she hadn't simply because she'd had a boyfriend over the duration of Matt's infatuation. However, now that she was single and had been for nearly 2 months, it was also reasonable to consider what exactly Matt brought to the table. She knew leading him on would be wrong considering she wasn't over Ezra, but like this party, maybe that was the push she needed to get back out there.

"You're trying to flirt with me?" Aria couldn't help the shakiness in her voice as she raised an eyebrow and tried her best to not let her face betray her emotions.

"Uh…" Matt stalled, hints of laughter playing at the back of his throat. "Maybe?"

"I guess that's not surprising," Aria carried on as if he had answered 'yes'. "People have been saying that you've had a thing for me for years now."

Matt ducked his head, shaking it slowly. "Since freshman year," He specified. "I remember thinking that you liked me too on that hay ride at the Winter Festival. But, then you went for Ezra instead." There was a bitterness to his voice that made Aria's stomach twist. She hadn't meant to strike a nerve with her teasing.

"I'm sorry," was all she could think to say.

"No you're not," Matt shrugged, offering her a smile to show that the feelings weren't all hard. "You and Ezra were a cute couple. _I'm sorry_ that it's over between you two."

"No you're not," Aria mimicked, giggling to suppress the heaviness in her heart that the mention of her break up brought about. "If you were, you'd be trying to comfort me, not flirt with me."

"You've got me there," Matt smirked. "But, there's only 5 months left to senior year. Then there's summer. I go off to Basic Training in August. So even though I was trying to flirt, I wasn't looking for anything serious."

Aria nodded, her heart speeding up in her chest. With college, or in his case, the military, on the horizon, he wasn't looking for anything serious. With a recent "break up" in her rearview, she wasn't looking for her next long-term relationship. But with his chocolate brown eyes, mischievous smile, and impressively tall stature, he was just the right kind of different that would help her move on from Ezra…at least for the time being. Maybe experiencing something – someone – new for the first time in her life would be beneficial. If anything, it would provide Aria with a way of knowing if Ezra truly was _the one._ She knew it could be considered wrong; he would be a rebound, but maybe he was okay with that.

"So what are you looking for?" Aria challenged.

"Huh," Matt let out a noise that resembled a laugh – the kind of laugh that conveyed unspoken words. He had more to say, but he wasn't going to say it.

The conversation between them fell flat for a moment. Aria focused on the dull roar of her peers rambling around her to distract from the palpable tension between her and the captain of the lacrosse team. She wanted to push him on the matter for her own selfish satisfaction. Somewhere not so deep inside of her, she wanted to hear him say that he was looking for her, or a fling with her at least. The more her brain entertained the almost forbidden thought, the more it intrigued her. She and Ezra were on a break. For the first time since freshman year, she was single. Things had become so idle in her life, even before her attack on Halloween. Maybe it was time for a little change. Something completely new that would help her over the hurtle of her fear and pain. It might do her some good to have a guy she can openly date; one that she doesn't know all that well, and one that doesn't know her. If anything, she could ride out this fling and get back together with Ezra when it was all over. A little fun, a little change, and a little therapy, then she could go back to normal.

"So…" Aria started, running a million different ways to go about getting an answer to her question without sounding like she was being pushy.

"Where are you going to college?" Matt tilted his head to the side and rested it on his hand, proceeding to stare at Aria as if what she was about to say was the most interesting thing in the world.

"I've applied to NYU," Aria responded almost like a reflex. As a senior in high school, that was every adults' question to her. And since Aria hadn't gotten accepted anywhere yet, her answer was always simply a list of the places she applied, followed by her top pick. "Also, Ohio State and Penn State. We'll see what happens. My top choice is NYU, though. I've always wanted to live in New York." Maybe that was more than what Matt had anticipated her to say, but Aria didn't care. The more details she gave, the more they had to potentially talk about. Whatever kept him talking.

"My sister is talking NYU, but she's only a freshman, so we'll see what happens in another 4 years," Matt shrugged.

"If you weren't going into the military, where do you think you'd go?" Aria turned her body to face Matt more and crossed her legs on the couch.

"Penn State for sure," Matt answered without hesitation. "My mom went there and so did my uncle, her brother. I love the campus."

Aria nodded and bit her lip. "It is a beautiful campus." Now, what was a good follow up question?

"Three minutes till midnight!" Hanna called, standing on the threshold between the house and the front yard. That was the cue for everyone to begin moving outside for fireworks – more specifically, it was the cue for the sober friends to move outside to _set_ _up_ the fireworks, and that included Matt and Aria.

"Ready to go blow some shit up?" Matt asked almost seriously as he pushed himself up from the couch.

Aria rolled her eyes, acting as if it were his boy-ish comment that invoked that reaction, when in reality, it was midnight's poor timing. Going outside would surely put an end to their conversation. He'd go join his friends. She'd join hers. They'd make eye contact a few more times throughout the night, and that would be it. Any chance she had to cure her loneliness and experience something new would be gone. But of course she couldn't protest. All she could say was, "sure."

The minute Aria stepped outside, she went back to her sulking. She begrudgingly passed out sparklers to those who weren't too drunk and Roman Candles to those who weren't drunk at all, while Matt and some kid whose name she believed was, Stephen, set up the small fireworks display.

The night was windy and slick and cold. 30 minutes ago, Aria would've been wishing to have Ezra's arms around her to keep her warm. Now, a part of her wanted Matt to hold her instead. But it would be a miracle of he even stood close to her while they watched the sparks shoot into the sky.

Aria found her place beside her group of friends and their significant others as Stephen yelled out that there were only 20 seconds remaining until the new year. She crossed her arms and settled her gaze onto the box of extra sparklers at her feet. She preferred to not be looking up when the clock struck midnight. Too many couples. Too much ache in her heart.

That was until she felt a strong hand on her shoulder, one that commanded her attention and lifted her eyes out of curiosity. It was Matt.

"10…9…"

"Would you, by a chance – "

"8…7…"

"- want to be my New Year's kiss?"

"6…5…4…"

"Um, I…," Aria stuttered, knowing that she didn't have much time to hesitate.

"3…"

"Yes."

"2…"

"Really?"

"1…"

"Yes, really. Kiss me."

"Happy New Year!"

Matt had to bend down a lot further than Ezra ever had to place a kiss on Aria's lips. In a way, that made her feel safe. He was tall, he was strong, he could protect her – and he expressed that in his kiss.

His lips felt different against hers than Ezra's had. They were a little fuller and a lot less passive. They took control, pulling her bottom lip into his only seconds after the kiss began. She let out the smallest of moans, one that was felt rather than heard amongst all the commotion. Matt took that as a cue to pull her closer. Aria welcomed it by stepping in and pressing her chest flush up against his. It had been a while since anyone had kissed her like this. And it had been even longer since she'd had a _mutual_ first kiss with anybody. The adrenaline rush she felt made her stomach twist and turn, giving her that butterfly effect that she'd been missing for awhile now.

When they pulled apart, they both became aware of the stares they were receiving from their peers. No one had seen that coming. At the beginning of the night, they hadn't either. But it happened. And shocked as everyone was, not one person was as happy about this turn of events as Aria.

This was the start of something new. It wouldn't last long. Aria didn't plan on that. But she'd ride out this "new" high and get over her recent past with Matt for as long as she wanted. And when she was done…well, she'd always have Ezra.

 **A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! It wasn't one full of action or reveals, but it did get Aria and Matt talking…and kissing. I enjoyed writing it, but I CANNOT wait to get to writing the next chapter (the 2016 chapter). I'll tease a little Aria and Ezra alone time.**

 **Thank you guys for your reviews on the last chapter. I really appreciate them! Please leave your thoughts and comments on this chapter in the reviews as well.**

 **I'll update within the next 7-10 days, maybe even earlier. I love you guys!**

 **Thanks for reading.**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N pt.1: I have no excuse for this month-long delay other than I'm an unmotivated piece of shit human. I struggled starting this chapter due to a smidgen of writer's block, but let's face it, had I wanted to write it, I could've pushed through. But I feel horribly guilty for making you guys wait so long when I swore I never would again, and I do intend to remedy this situation. I realized that before I started college, I would promise specific days to upload (Monday, Sunday, etc.) instead of just relative times like I do now. When I did that, I was extremely motivated to keep my word since I'd been so specific, so that's what I'm going to go back to. I will upload every Sunday starting this week (2/26) until the story is finished. If for some reason I am not able to upload on a certain Sunday, I will try to let you guys know the week before and schedule a make-up day** **to post.**

 **Once again, I feel terrible about the wait. If you're still here and wanting to read, please enjoy this long-awaited chapter.**

 _2016_

"Are these from Ezra?"

The final bell had rung about 5 minutes ago, releasing Rosewood Elementary School students to the bus or carpool lanes. Aria's classroom was empty, silent for the first time since lunch, although she knew the minute the bell rang that the sweet absence of noise wouldn't last long. Sophie usually walked into the room about 3 or 4 minutes after the bell once she'd made the journey from her 3rd grade classroom to Aria's 2nd grade one. Hearing the child's footsteps and voice minutes after her classroom emptied out was routine. However, that particular afternoon, the arrival of her child caused her to jump. She hadn't heard her enter, nor had she been anticipating her to speak. Perhaps if Aria hadn't been so focused on the note that came wedged between the red roses that were sitting on her desk, and presumably the 'these' Sophie was referring to, she would've noticed her daughter's presence.

"The flowers?" Aria asked once she regained a little composure, forcing herself to not say anything about Sophie saying Ezra instead of dad. She was still new to the whole real-father thing. She needed time to adjust. Aria knew that.

Sophie nodded, thumbing the velvet-like leaves of the roses and avoiding the thorns.

"Yes, they are," Aria folded the note in her hands over and over until it would fit neatly back between the flowers.

"What did the note say?" Sophie slipped off her backpack and let it hit the floor with a thud.

Aria smiled. She couldn't help herself. The note had been completely unwarranted and incredibly sweet. It was filled with declarations of love and what felt like endless compliments, but it was the end that clued Aria in on the reason for the surprise gift. While he'd done it to be a cute, cheesy boyfriend, he'd certainly had an ulterior motive as well. He had a proposition and wanted to do it in a way that she couldn't say no. "Ezra asked me out on a date tonight."

Sophie raised her eyebrows in slight shock as a small grin grew on her lips. "That's cute. Am I going to be spending the night at Grandma Ella's house then?"

The question was innocent enough, yet it caused nauseating knots to form in the pit of Aria's stomach. Whenever Aria had a date, Sophie would almost always go to Ella's for a sleepover just in case Aria decided to have a little sleepover herself. That night would be no different, but in a way, it would. Aria had yet to sit down with Ella and explain the whole situation. They had scheduled to meet up tomorrow afternoon for a long, excruciating talk – which Aria suspected was part of why Ezra was taking her

out _tonight;_ he wanted to relax her before the big day – but just the closeness of what was bound to be the most awkward talk in the history of talks would make tonight's drop off incredibly tense.

Ella had seemed okay with the situation when Aria had texted her earlier to ask for the favor. However, she doubted that Ella was too pleased to be taking Sophie in while Aria spent the night with a man that Ella had hated with such a passion alongside Aria for years…not to mention that she now knew that that man was her granddaughter's father.

"Mom?" Sophie prodded, noticing her mother's blank expression. She'd stayed silent for too long.

Aria blinked and forced a tight-lipped smile, "Yes, you'll be staying with your grandma tonight."

Sophie nodded, satisfied with the answer she finally received. "Where's he taking you?"

Aria hesitated. The note had specific instructions to meet Ezra at the Radley Hotel in room 505 at 8 o'clock sharp. She anticipated a night of champagne and room service and wearing nothing but the big fluffy robe provided by the hotel. To Aria, that sort of thing sounded perfect. To Sophie, it would sound incredibly boring. It would also prompt the question of what the two adults were going to be doing _all_ night, since a meal from room service and a bottle of champagne would only last so long. Aria knew she could say that they'd probably rent a movie and cuddle on the bed, but that would be a lie. The couple had yet to be intimate since they'd gotten back together, and Aria figured that Ezra had plans for tonight being the night they finally resolved that issue. And while she used to be able to lie to Sophie with ease, the whole real-father issue has made Aria cautious about even the smallest of lies -like saying "dinner's ready" when it really isn't and she just wanted Sophie in the kitchen so that she could make her set the table. So rather than concoct a lie or risk awkwardly wording the truth, Aria decided it was best to just say exactly _what_ she knew was going to happen and not embellish on anything she didn't.

"I'm meeting him at the Radley Hotel," Aria smiled softly.

"A hotel?" Sophie's eyebrows furrowed. "Why do you need to go to a hotel here when you live in Rosewood?"

Aria giggled under her breath. Oh, the innocence of a child. "I don't know what he's got planned for tonight." She avoided and answered the question at the same time with the shrug of her shoulders.

"Hmmm," Sophie scrunched up her nose in thought. "Is he going to be home when we get home? Maybe I can get something out of him!"

Aria felt a warmth spread from her stomach after hearing Sophie refer to home as a place where Ezra lived too. Sure, the 8-year-old probably meant nothing by it. She'd lived in that apartment for most of her life. It was home regardless of whether Ezra was there or not. However, Aria wanted to believe that Sophie's use of the word home meant that she was truly beginning to see them as a whole family rather than a fractured one. It was a long-shot, but a nice thought nonetheless.

"No, he isn't," Aria said slowly, assessing the change of expression on her daughter's face. She was slightly disappointed. "He's going straight from work to the hotel so that he can meet me there. He doesn't want to see me beforehand. He doesn't want to ruin the surprise." Aria felt heat rise in her cheeks as she blushed at the thought of making him say "wow" with her outfit choice tonight. "But, he does want to talk with you on the phone before you go to Grandma Ella's. He said he's gonna miss his little girl this evening and wants to hear your voice."

That was all true. During her lunch break, Aria had texted Ezra to get more details about their date. He didn't say much, however he did say that they would be staying the night in the Radley and that he wanted to talk with Sophie on the phone since he wouldn't be seeing her at all that night. Aria thought it was sweet. Sophie, on the other hand, looked a little skeptical. It was clear that she still wasn't sure about Ezra's motives. She knew he loved her and wanted to be the best father he could, but his 8-year absence still weighed on her heart.

"Okay," Sophie bit her lip. "I'll try to get details then." Her eyes fixated on the flowers, "And I'll tell him that he did a good job on the flowers. They're very pretty and very red."

"They are, aren't they?" Aria laughed as she too moved her eyes back towards the flowers.

"What time are we leaving?" Sophie effortlessly changed the subject in a way that only little kids could get away with.

Aria sucked in her bottom lip as she glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only 3:30. School traffic was still cluttering up the roads and causing the mere thought of leaving in that moment to be daunting. So she shook her head, mentally telling herself that now was not the time to walk out the door, before saying, "In about 20 minutes. We'll get you home, fed, bathed, and packed fro Grandma Ella's by 6:30, that way you have plenty of time to talk to Ez…dad on the phone." Aria caught her near mistake.

Sophie sighed as she plopped herself down on top of one of the small desks nearest Aria's. Immediately, Aria frowned, "Hey, we don't sit on furniture. Sit in one of the chairs, please."

Rolling her eyes like the 16-year-old she thought she was, Sophie slid off the desk and into one of the little blue chairs beside it before beginning to rummage in her backpack for something to do while she waited. Aria almost said something about the eye roll being disrespectful, but decided against it. There were some battles she just didn't need to fight, especially when she'd fought it so many times in the past.

A couple of minutes passed before Sophie got up out of the chair and shuffled over to the bins in which Aria kept crayons, markers, and colored pencils for her students. Aria watched as Sophie plucked several colors of crayons up, carried them back to the desk she was sitting at, and laid them next to an open spiral of hers. With a raised eyebrow, she asked, "What are you doing?"

"Writing you and Ezra a note to read while you're on your date," Sophie said dismissively.

"What are you writing in this note?" Aria asked, knowing she probably wasn't going to receive a proper answer.

"I'm just telling you guys that I hope you have fun…and other things," Sophie smirked like what she was writing was one of the world's best kept secrets.

Aria chuckled and nodded. She hoped that she and Ezra had fun too…and _other things._

Line Break

Aria arrived at the Radley at 8:15, not really making good on that whole 8 o'clock sharp thing. But it wasn't her fault. None of her clothes felts right for the occasion and then traffic decided to back itself up on the way to the hotel from Ella's house, as if it had no concern for Aria's plans.

When the elevator doors opened up on the 5th floor, Aria all but ran down the hall to room 505 – partially because she was late, but also because she was excited to get the evening started. She looked good. She felt good. This was going to be prefect.

The door to the room was propped open by the latch, so all it took was a little push for what was waiting for her behind the door to reveal itself. A trail of rose petals stretched from the entrance to the bed. The lights were low and the curtains in front of the glass doors that led to the balcony had been drawn back to let the city light in. The TV was turned onto a channel that displayed burning candles 24/7 – something that almost caused Aria to laugh. Real candles weren't allowed in the hotel, so leave it to Ezra to think up something alternative. And soft music lilted from a speaker. Aria felt as if she was walking in to her most vivid Valentine's Day fantasy, only she wasn't. It wasn't February. It was September. And this wasn't a day of love. It was merely a date. She hadn't been on a date with Ezra since the money they'd had to spend had been given to them by their parents or a fast food joint. If this was what a real date with an adult Ezra Fitz was like…damn, she'd be keeping him around.

She was entranced with the scenery that she almost didn't notice the man standing in the corner with the dumbest, boyish grin on his face. His eyes were fixated on her figure and glazed over with an emotion that Aria hadn't seen in awhile: lust. She hadn't imagined doing _that_ first thing this evening, but the closer she got to Ezra and the more he stared, the more she could imagine letting him take her right then and there, never mind the hours she spent on her hair, makeup, and outfit.

"You look…" Ezra purred, but trailed off as he began to lick his bottom lip subconsciously.

"Ezra, this…" Aria gestured towards the room, "we couldn't have ordered in take-out?" It was a joke of course. This was much, _much_ better than tacos.

Ezra shook his head as a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. "This is our first real date in over 8 years. Take-out definitely wouldn't have cut it for this momentous occasion." By the time he finished his sentence, the couple was standing just inches away from one another and Ezra's hands were beginning to trace the outline of Aria's hips. She shivered at the chill his touch brought about.

"Well since we aren't getting take-out," Aria lowered her voice, "what are we going to be doing this evening?" As if the scene didn't already give away Ezra's plans for them, the bulge in his pants certainly did. But Aria didn't want to make verbal assumptions. She wanted to hear Ezra say it – to initiate it.

"Why don't you take off your dress and I'll show you," Ezra abruptly moved his hands to Aria's butt and pulled her as close to him as possible.

She moaned softly. Going off of her experience with Ezra in the past, this was not a stunt she would've expected Ezra to pull. He used to be so shy when it came to sex, so new. Granted, they were _both_ new to sex all those years ago. She had certainly grown into her own since then, and clearly, he had too. Over the years, he'd grown bolder and more vocal. He wasn't afraid to let her know exactly what was on his mind and she loved that. It just reassured her that they were making the right decisions this time around. They had changed. They were grown adults. Things would be different. Things would be better. And this decision to try again – and to sleep with him – was right.

"I can't unzip it myself," Aria breathed, her lips just inches from Ezra's.

Slowly, Ezra brought a hand up and eased the zipped down as far as it was go, exposing her back and making her shudder as the cold air hit her skin. It dawned on her as she began letting the dress slip forward on her arms that it had been years since Ezra had seen her completely naked. Her body had been through so much. Intense grief, intense stress, and of course, and intense birth. She probably wasn't the way he remembered her to be at all.

Upon this realization, her cheeks flushed and her body went rigid. It didn't take long for Ezra to notice the change in her demeanor, nor did it take him long to figure out what had suddenly made her so hesitant.

"Hey," He whispered. "You were beautiful back then and you're beautiful now. Don't be shy."

Aria wanted to open her mouth and mumbled something about stretch marks and gained weight, but there was a sincerity in Ezra's voice that stopped her from attempting to protest. Whether she felt the same amount of beauty at 26 as she did at 18 didn't matter in that moment. What mattered was that Ezra was going to think she was beautiful no matter what because he loved her. She was sure his body had changed over the course of 8 years as well, yet she hadn't anticipated judging or even making note of the differences. It only made since that he'd known the same about her. Love isn't blind…or at least, their love isn't. They both knew that the other had flaws, but they chose to love them anyway.

As she began to let the dress fall once again, Ezra started unbuttoning his shirt. He had no intentions of letting Aria be the only one in her underwear for very long. But even as clothes were being shed, their eyes never left one another's. This moment felt too important to break that connection.

A minute passed, or maybe several had, Aria wasn't sure, but they had moved to the bed, taking steps Aria couldn't even remember taking. It hadn't taken her long to be all consumed by Ezra – his smell, his body, his lips, his touch – and let the world slip away. Hours could be seconds; night could be day for all she cared. Right now, her only concern was the man holding his weight above her. She felt like a teenager again, and while that scared her, it excited her all the same. For the first time, she acknowledged that maybe it wasn't Ezra making her feel 18 again. Maybe it was the feelings bubbling up inside her stomach. Maybe it was the waves of love crashing over her body, making her feel numb and renewed. Maybe it was knowing that though she felt like a kid again, this was the farthest thing from child-like love. This was real, unfiltered, true love. And once again, this was right.

. . .

She wasn't sure how long their love making had lasted. She hadn't been counting the minutes, nor had she wanted to. With the way he was making her feel, she'd never wanted it to end. But, like all good things, it had.

Now, the 2 lovers lay in the aftermath of their passion, chests slowly beginning to rise and fall at a normal pace again and legs weak underneath the thin sheets. Aside from the moment Ezra had gotten up to throw the condom away, the couple had yet to break away from the other's sweaty embrace or speak a word. This had been several years missing and several months in the making. They needed time to recover.

As the clock on the bedside table flickered to read 9:51, though neither of them saw, Ezra sighed contently, "I figure that if I smoked, now would be the perfect time to light a cigarette."

Aria giggled lazily, letting her head loll to the side so that she could scan Ezra's profile, "After-sex smoking always seemed so…film noir. The idea is enticing, sexy even, but that's not a habit I think I should be getting in to. Especially with Sophie in the house."

"I wasn't suggesting we try it," Ezra clarified. "It -"

"I know," Aria confirmed. "It was just a thought."

Rather than verbally responding, Ezra turned onto his side to face Aria and brought a hand up a push stray, mangled hairs from her face. Aria smiled and wrapped her leg around one of his, and like Ezra, she said nothing…for a moment at least.

"So, we're really doing this, huh?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

Ezra smirked, "Isn't it a little late to be asking that question?"

She rolled her eyes, "I meant, we're really doing a _relationship_ again? Like this confirms it, I guess."

Ezra furrowed his brow and frowned a bit, "I thought we'd been ' _doing a relationship'_ for awhile now. I mean we've slept in the same bed for over a month now, we've said 'I love you', we act like a couple…I'm not sure that having sex was what solidified our status."

"That's not…" Aria immediately tried to back pedal. She hadn't meant her statement the way Ezra interpreted it. It hadn't come out right. "I mean…I don't know. To me, finally being intimate proved that we _are_ in this for the long haul. We shared ourselves with each other once and that didn't go over well. But the fact that we're trying again, I don't know. It makes me feel like we both believe this relationship can go the distance." The more Aria spoke, the more she inwardly cringed. Everything out of her mouth sounded like a lame excuse for saying that sex was what made a relationship real. And while she certainly didn't believe that and knew that a relationship was about a hell of a lot more than just sex, she knew her words were not getting that across.

"I…guess?" Ezra raised an eyebrow, his face betraying his uncertain and hurt feelings.

"Can we…can we just forget I said that. It came out wrong, but I don't know how to make it come out right," Aria blushed, pulling the comforter up over her nose like a child.

"Sure," Ezra chuckled under his breath. "I think I know what you meant, so it's not big deal. Don't worry about it."

Aria let a beat pass before speaking again. She wanted to change the subject to avoid further embarrassment, but not make it seem like she wanted to change the subject to avoid further embarrassment.

"You know, I used to picture us having a future together all the time in high school," She started, choosing her words carefully so that she didn't mess it up like she had her last statement. "I _never_ pictured we'd be here at 26. I always imagined us living in an apartment in a big city, maybe somewhere like New York. I figured we'd be married by now, but I didn't think we'd have a kid. Or if we did, they'd still be a baby. I figured you'd be an engineer and I'd be an editor at a publishing company or something. We'd be travelling around the world, staying in hotels that weren't in our own backyard." She laughed somewhat bitterly. "I never pictured this. I never saw us being separated for 8 years. I never thought we'd hate each other. I never imagined being a single mom or learning doctor jargon as a second language. And had you asked me this time last year, I would've never thought I'd be lying in a hotel bed with you, naked and coming off the high of an orgasm." She laughed again, this time a little sweeter.

"Trust me, this isn't how I pictured our relationship playing out at all either," Ezra ran a hand through his curls. "But, to be honest, I'm glad it did. You said it yourself in the diner before our…second fist kiss. If the whole Matt debacle hadn't happened, it's possible that something would have. And we needed the break from one another. We needed to find ourselves and grow up. We had no idea who we were without the other. Now we know who we are and what we want, and amazingly, we found our way back into each other's lives."

Aria let a small smile spread across her lips as she traces a fingernail along Ezra's chest, "You know that saying, 'If you love something, let it go, and if it doesn't come back then it was never truly yours'?" She gave Ezra a chance to nod. "Well…you came back."

Aria knew that Ezra had been waiting to hear her say she thought they were meant to be together since he'd told her, long before they had officially started dating again – and now seemed as good of a time as any to say it. She knew he'd be happy, ecstatic even. But still, the rate at which Ezra moved to close the gap between his and Aria's faces after her statement surprised Aria to say the least. She wasn't sure she'd ever seen him move that quickly, or with that much drive, in her entire life. It was like she'd lit a small fire in his heart, making him burn and his love all consuming.

Although, what surprised her even more than the speed at which he moved, were the words he managed to get out just before their lips met: "Marry me."

 **A/N pt. 2: I hope you guys enjoyed! I know I kind of left it on a cliffhanger, so I'd love to hear your responses. Keep in mind that Ezra is still technically married to Nicole. So, did he really mean what he asked? Or was he just speaking out of the heat of the moment? Let me know by reviewing!**

 **Thanks for reading! See y'all Sunday!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: This is where I'm supposed to try to explain my absence, but in reality no words can make up for the fact that I all but abandoned this story…but of course, I'll try to explain anyway. I got in to a writing funk months ago and just couldn't shake it. When I broke my promise of updating every Sunday, I began getting anxious every time I opened up a Word document. Even now, my heart is racing as I type. I guess anxiety begets anxiety begets anxiety. I am so sorry. If you're still here, thank you for your patience.**

 _2008_

 _*This chapter is slightly M-rated. Proceed with caution*_

Her mother had warned her about this. _Once you've had sex, it becomes easier and easier to do it again and again._ She'd been so careful with Ezra, so cautious. She'd wanted to make sure everything was perfect and that her feelings for him were true before giving her virginity to him. It had taken years for the two to become intimate in their relationship. And when she'd ended things with him shortly after the nightmare that was Halloween, she figured it'd take another few years for anyone to get her back in bed, yet here she was, pinned to a mattress by a pair of full lips on her neck, clad in only her panties, though she was sure those would be coming off soon.

Aria wasn't dating Matt. She'd gone on dates _with_ him, but they weren't official. She could tell that he wanted them to be, but Aria just wasn't ready. Her excuses had ranged from not wanting to move too fast and the fact that college was only a few months away and a breakup would be inevitable. And while those were true to some degree, both Aria and Matt knew that the real reason she wanted to avoid labels was because she knew it would crush Ezra.

Her ex, if he could even be called that, was still madly in love with her. And she with him. But after their split a couple of months earlier, the college acceptance letters began to roll in, post-graduation plans were made and it just didn't seem like the time to be getting back together. Ezra would be heading off to Stanford in the fall. Aria was set to attend NYU. They were going to be on different coasts and rumor had it that long distance relationships were extremely difficult. So despite the feeling that she and Ezra were meant to be together that bubbled deep in her gut and echoed in her heart, Aria decided that it was best to leave for college as friends and only that.

But her aversion to real relationships didn't mean that she couldn't have fun, and that's exactly what she was doing tonight. Having fun.

Aria had been "sober" since her experience at Halloween. Drinking in a party environment terrified her…until tonight, that is. After a particularly long therapy session where Aria had to endure listening to her therapist drone on and on about "getting back out there", Aria received a text from Spencer inviting her to a house party and instructing her to bring Matt. Aria had obliged, thinking that she'd once again play the sober friend and designated driver for her friends. However, an hour into the party, 5 shots and a couple of hits later, Aria's assumption was proven wrong.

It was a rather small party. Aria knew everyone there. She felt safe. Drinking and smoking felt rather…liberating. Liam had taken away her sense of security months ago, but tonight she was taking it back. And apparently, she was also taking Matt to bed.

The not-couple had ducked into one of the house's guest bedrooms after hours of playful flirting and touching. From there, it seemed that it was only a matter of seconds before clothes started flying and weeks of sexual frustration began to pour out onto the mattress.

Matt's hands had quickly rid Aria of her dress and bra. Aria mimicked his motions a touch slower, her head spinning from the alcohol, weed and the intoxicating feel of Matt's lips on her skin.

He was different than Ezra was. Rougher. She'd noted that about him during their first kiss. He took control and she liked it. It was enough to make up for the lack of spark between them. Kissing Ezra had ignited a fire inside of Aria. The aftermath of their make-out sessions had left Aria reeling. It was similar to that feeling you get after riding a rollercoaster that took your breath away. When the cars come to a stop on the tracks, your breath is fast and heavy and you can't shake the smile from your face or the shaky feeling in your knees. Kissing Matt was like riding a merry-go-round. It was nice and made Aria happy, but it lacked the thrill of a 4-story drop and loop-de-loops. Even in a drunken state, Aria noticed that, but she didn't speak up. She was afraid that if she did, she might never get over Ezra. So maybe this wasn't what she was used to, but it was what she needed to move on.

That's what she told herself as Matt hooked his fingers around her panties and began tugging down. This whole thing wasn't so much about love and excitement as it was a chance to get over the love of her life. She had to start somewhere.

Before she knew it, she was lying naked beneath an equally exposed boy, preparing for her "first time" after her first time. This would be her first time having sex with someone who wasn't Ezra. Her second first. She was unsure if this time would be as memorable as her time with Ezra. She was unsure if anything about this night would be memorable. She'd consumed enough to make this night a total blur anyways. But what Aria was sure of was that she wanted this. In that moment, she wanted Matt Callahan instead of Ezra Fitz.

"What's your favorite position?" Matt breathed heavily into her ear as his hand rubbed Aria's heat, clouding her brain even more than the drugs or alcohol had.

"Take me from behind." The words slipped from Aria's lips before she really had a chance to think about it. That wasn't her favorite position. She liked being on top. But that had been her and Ezra's thing. She didn't want to do that with Matt. Not now anyways. Besides, if she admired his dominant kiss, she was sure she'd enjoy him in the more dominant sex position.

"Get on all fours," Matt growled seductively.

Aria did as she was told.

She felt Matt's hands wrap around her waist and pull her closer. She moaned as the anticipation rose in the pit of her stomach and let her eyes flutter shut, bracing her hands on the mattress and gripping the sheets with white knuckles. It was only then that she realized there had been no talk of protection and all of her previous actions were undone so that she could turn around and look at her lover.

"Condom?" was all she could say.

"I don't have one, but you're on the pill, right?" Matt tried pushing Aria back on all fours so that they could begin…and so that he wouldn't lose his boner.

"I…" Aria started. She was on the pill, but she'd never had unprotected sex before. Not even with Ezra. But this wasn't Ezra. This was Matt. This was different. Things should be different, or so she thought. So against her better judgment, Aria nodded. "Right."

No other words were exchanged. Not ones of protest at least. Aria simply turned back around and the two began, well, fucking.

The whole thing felt foreign. Matt. Not using a condom. Everything. The sounds of Matt grunting and cursing at each wave of pleasure sounded so different from Ezra. Even the moans and words of affirmation that fell from Aria's lips hit her ears at another octave than before. The slapping of their skin was much louder and faster than she was used to and Aria had no idea how she was supposed to feel about it.

When Matt announced that he was going to cum, Aria felt relieved. And when she felt him pull out and unload his hot semen onto her back, she let out a whimper of gratitude. That was it. It was over. Her second first time had come and gone. She'd had sex with someone who wasn't Ezra Fitz…and she had absolutely no idea how she felt.

Confused. Excited. Sad. Hurt. Relieved. Happy. It felt like every emotion she could ever feel was bouncing around inside of her brain and fighting to take the driver's seat as Matt wiped his mess off of her back with a towel. And suddenly, it was all too much. Tears welled up in Aria's eyes as her legs carried her in a bee line towards the guest bathroom. She slammed the door and locked it, leaving a confused Matt naked and kneeling on the bed.

Every thought Aria had had about moving on was undone by her actions tonight. Sex with Matt was nothing like sex with Ezra. She loved Ezra. She didn't love Matt. Tonight was a mistake. And little did she know that mistake would be one of the biggest of her life.

 **A/N: Disclaimer: I'm not calling Sophie's conception a mistake. Remember, Sophie is Ezra's. Anyways, I'm sorry this was so short and shitty, but I got the urge to write so I took advantage of it. I hope that I will be updating soon. As always, please leave a review if you're still here. Thanks for reading!**

 **-Erin xoxo**


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